Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz, but I might someday if my plan to seduce Koyasu ever works. ^_~ Until then, it's his in accordance with Project Weiss. Also, the song Gravity is owned by the group Audiovent, aka -- it is not mine; but I do recommend the CD! ^_^
Okay, this story does not fit into story line of Weiss in any way, shape, or form; I think of it as a 'what if' story. ^_^;;; However there are some, er, well they're not really spoilers, but I mention Omi's family here and there. I think that's all that needs to be said. And it's a death fic with heavy shonen-ai and a love triangle, for anyone opposed to reading about sad, pathetic, unrequited sap between, um… several males. ^_^;;;
I want to thank Joanie for her support during the writing of this fic, as well as anyone who read and reviewed (will read and review – onegai? ^_^;;;) Underwater Silence, which has a sequel in the works for anyone who may like to hear that! Whoo, long sentence. I think I'm done now.
Enjoy!!!
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I hit the ground
While reaching out
Watch you rise away
I currently have the misfortune of being normal. Er, normal physiologically anyway because to call myself, a seventeen year-old assassin with the most screwed up family in recent history and more knowledge of flora than the average botanist, normal is really, really inaccurate. But right now, I am normal and I am not happy about it.
"AAAHH!" I go sailing across the room and nail Ken-kun in the back, sending both of us sprawling into the psychologically deficient, one-eyed man he had been fighting. The crazy guy (okay so I'm sick of being nice and politically correct) licks his knife feverishly before stabbing Ken-kun with enough force to… OW! My back has the other end of that knife sticking into me much deeper than I really feel like admitting to. But am I thinking about myself right now? No, of course not. It's much easier to do this:
"Ken-kun!" I cry, horrified, as my best friend's blood makes its way into my body, adding a warmth that I really don't appreciate. Ew. I dart up, away from the intruding metal object, somewhat carefully so as to not injure myself even more (that would be Ken-kun's forte, not mine after all) and turn to face the bastard that dared to hurt my Ken-kun! I ignore the flipping of my stomach that comes with the sight of the drool-covered knife and the Ken-kun's-blood-covered face of the Irish idiot. I put on my best PO face, which I recall Youji-kun telling me wasn't all that intimidating but I try not to let that bother me now. I have a shitlist with Schwarz's name on it. Big time.
And then I go flying back towards my previous opponent, the kid who thinks he's all that and doesn't need a weapon to take me out. I hate being normal. I hate the fact that he's right.
The orange-haired German guy laughs. I get the distinct impression that it's at me, but I don't know why. That seems illogical. He starts laughing harder.
"Damn you!" I say for lack of all other things that sound better to the brunette boy I'm skidding to a stop in front of.
"I don't believe you have the power to carry out such a threat," he replies with a tone of boredom. Now that pisses me off.
"Like you do?"
"I do."
"Well, you don't do a very good job of employing it!" I am threatening him to kill me. I am in over my head and too tired of chasing Schwarz around to care.
"What's your name?" He asks, with a curious face. Better than being bored I guess.
"Weiss!" I spit.
"My name is Nagi, not Schwarz. Your name is also not Weiss."
"What's it matter to you?"
"Just curious I guess."
I hate this. "Bombay."
"Bombay?" He seems incredulous. I want him dead.
I also want my motor functions back, for the record. The pumpkin-head laughs again.
"Please relax, Bombay. I have no intentions of damning you." Oh how relieving that is, he will never know… Because it wasn't relieving even in the slightest. I could still hear Ken-kun screaming behind me. "Siberian…"
"Farfarello won't go so far as to kill him. Your friend is his favorite play-toy after all."
"That's comforting. Really…" My face is revealing sarcasm. The Nazi laughs again and gets caught in Youji-kun's wire. Serves him right for laughing at me. At least I keep getting the sensation that he's laughing at me… bastard.
"I'm just as enthused by fighting you as you are fighting me," the kid says. Now, this catches my attention.
"Why do you fight then?" I ask emotionally. After a pause I add "What is Schwarz all about anyway?" as an afterthought.
"I fight for revenge. Schwarz fights for world purity."
"World purity?"
"Yes." Nagi takes on a sudden distant look, his eyes revealing a turquoise ocean of idealism. Enviable…
"This world is full of corruption," Nagi starts. "People hate people, generally speaking. They do awful things to their fellow man and consider their actions normal, legal and sometimes even justified. But there is no justice in destroying the innocent man. Schwarz is cleverly devising a way to create a world full of innocents, who won't hate people or do anything awful to others for normal entertainment or supposed justice. Tell me, what does Weiss stand for?"
I stand transfixed, caught between absorbing his words and pondering his question. His voice pulls me out of my tousled reverie.
"Your teammates are retreating, quite hastily might I add. Perhaps you should assist Siberian; he could use your help." And with that, Nagi flies away into the midnight sky.
"Thanks!" I call, totally unthinking of the connotations to that. I'm more aware of my motor functions returning, and then much more aware of Ken-kun struggling to get away from Scarface, er, Farfarello was it? Why do I care?
My PO face returns with a vengeance as I rush to Ken-kun's side, tossing a few poison darts into Farfarello's stomach on the way. He pauses to pull them out, giving me enough time to take Ken-kun's arm and run.
"Omi…"
"I got you, Ken-kun! Just hang on!" He's a mess. I vow to make… Schwarz pay… for an ideal of purity? Note to self: revisit that later.
"Omi, are you okay?"
He's worried about me and I had the audacity to have forgotten about him back there. Not that I could have done anything more than sound petulant or headstrong. The guilt isn't coming as fast as it should be.
"Omi?"
"I'm okay, Ken-kun," I assure him hastily. "Don't worry about me. You're in much worse condition."
Ken-kun smiles through the pain. "Omi, you know I'm always worried about you."
"Stop talking. You're just making it worse." Whether I meant Ken-kun's injury or my guilt trip (or lack thereof) is still up for debate.
Aya-kun appears from the shadows and silently takes Ken-kun's other arm. We hurry back to our base at the Koneko to meet Youji-kun, who'd already gone ahead.
I hear your voice
I see your face
When I look at me
Ken-kun would be out of commission on all fronts for a while, but he'd be okay. I accepted that when all he'd complain about was missing soccer practices and his students' next few games.
Youji-kun had reluctantly agreed to take on Ken-kun's shifts at the Koneko, the flower-shop we use as a cover for Weiss. For murder. For purity I once thought.
Once thought? Who am I kidding? Weiss is the good guy. I'll always believe in Weiss, my family, and Kritiker, my saviors.
That Nagi kid had gotten me thinking a bit too much.
"They're mistaken," I say to myself assertively as I stretch out on my bed. "They must be." What kind of excuse is that? Weiss could be just as – no.
"Perhaps we are mistaken," an all-too familiar voice chimes in from my window. "I often question what we do too."
I jump a proverbial mile and succeed in ever-so-gracefully falling off my bed. (So I'm off-guard when I'm in my room. I can't be assassin material all the time. That would make me too much like Aya-kun, and no offense to him but I don't want to risk splinters in my prostate. Cancer is an imminent enough danger. Besides, I plan on using my anus in other ways; I accepted being gay a long time ago.) I look up to see Nagi sitting on my windowsill. How'd he do that?
"I try not to question it too much though. Crawford and Schuldich conspire to prevent me from thinking anything like that. Besides, Schwarz is my family and Eszette saved me from the horrors of the streets."
"Family?" I choke, startled to say the least. A sympathy was building inside of me due to the familiarity. "Saved you?"
"Yes. We're not all that different, you and I."
I shake my head. We… aren't all that different.
"How is your teammate? Siberian was his name, correct?"
I blink and nod before my eyes darken dangerously. "He isn't well thanks to you and your family!"
Nagi looks away, almost ashamedly. "I apologize for Farfarello, for what little that may be worth to you. He lost his concepts of stability a long time ago." Nagi's face turns painfully sad as he chokes out, "He wasn't always as uncontrollable as that."
Family… Farfarello was Nagi-kun's family.
"I'm sorry." I sound hollow, but I don't know what else to say. I start to recall past moments of Youji-kun and Aya-kun, and sometimes even Ken-kun suffering their own mental traumas, as well as the hurt in their eyes when I suffered my own. But to go completely crackers must be an awful thing for the people who love you, who you love in return.
"I hope Siberian will be all right," Nagi-kun says quietly, sincerely.
I blink out of my misdirected sympathies. "Why do you? What are you really here for?" I get off the floor and ready myself for combat. I wait to be lifted off the floor. I wait to hear the German guy laugh at me.
"Don't get us wrong, Bombay. Schwarz has no intention of harming Weiss."
Could've fooled me. "What is your intention then?" I ask bewildered, my stance faltering.
"I told you. World purity."
"I remember," I say haughtily, reacting to his tone of superiority. "So why not kill us, Weiss?"
"Because you are like us. Maybe we can work together for our common goal. You believe you're working for world purity too, correct?"
I nod, that dazed feeling coming over me again.
"So then, why would we harm you?"
"I… don't know." I've always been the easiest member of Weiss to disillusion. It's just that I'm never sure it its really disillusionment. What if a real chance opportunity was to present itself? Why should I let said chance to make a better quality life for my friends, my family slip away? I know that they hate this life. I want to make them happy… Ken-kun really truly happy.
Nagi-kun smiles at me. It's the first time he's ever smiled at me. The bad things fall away from me and I smile back at him.
"I think of Weiss as my family too," I say, finding my voice as well as a sense of comfort. "And our parent organization saved me from a rather crappy end as well."
Nagi-kun's smile widens before faltering a bit. "Ne, Bombay?" he asks quietly.
"Mm?" I'm worried about Nagi-kun's sudden withdrawal. "What's wrong?" The absence of his smile is threatening my renewed inner tranquility of sorts.
"I've… never had a friend before… or someone to talk to since Farfarello went completely insane… so… could we… be friends?"
My smile returns in full force. "Of course, Nagi-kun!"
Nagi-kun beams at me. "Thank you, Bombay-kun."
I blink and pause. "Nagi-kun? My name…" Is Schwarz really to be trusted? I look in Nagi-kun's eyes for the answer and find what I seek. With determination I continue, "My name isn't really Bombay. That's just my codename for Weiss."
Nagi-kun solemnly states, "I'm not surprised."
"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't believe you then, but I believe you now. My name is Omi."
"Omi-kun." It's a statement of simple assertiveness said so fondly that my heart skips a beat.
"Nagi-kun," I reply similarly. "Why don't you come down from the windowsill? It seems rather dangerous."
Nagi-kun chuckles softly. Everything about him seems so soft actually. "You forget I'm a telekinetic. That kind of danger is nonexistent to me." He floats off the sill and lands gently, silently one the carpet.
"Telekinetic? So that's how you do all that. But… how? Why?" My intellectual tendencies are showing through.
He smiles. "Let me tell you everything, because you won't hurt me like everyone else."
Everyone else? Nagi-kun…
We talk in rhyme but lack the will
Comfort in the silence kills
It occurred to me later that the prospect of befriending and cooperating with Schwarz wouldn't fly with Aya-kun or Youji-kun very well. On a normal day I could've shared my situation with Ken-kun and more than likely would have gotten him on my side so we could tackle Youji-kun and then Aya-kun – but with Ken-kun still recuperating from Farfarello-kun's brutal attack, I doubted that normal days would be arriving anytime soon. Ken-kun had already sworn revenge on Farfarello-kun for injuring him; it was a policy of his that I used to support.
Nagi-kun understood my hesitations and promised that a time lapse wouldn't matter. He mentioned that it could even be better for us all for apparently Schwarz was dealing with some sort of internal unrest. He refused to elaborate on the topic and I refused to pry into his family feud. I did the next best thing though – I took his mind off of all his worries. And he did the same for me.
Ken-kun had always been the one to alleviate my worries and balm all my sadness.
But Ken-kun… is too sick for me to worry him like I always seem to. Ken-kun…
Nagi-kun and I have been spending lots of time together. We meet after school to talk, play, and do homework. I'm finally living more of the life I've always longed for in secret; I feel like a normal boy when I'm with Nagi-kun. I don't feel like a murderer or like an abandoned child, I don't feel lonely or unusual, I don't feel pain or misfortune. Least of all I don't feel so damn responsible, like an anal adult trapped in the body of a teenager. I feel free.
Free enough to experience normal things. Like love even.
Love is a thing that I've watched my family grapple with before. My conclusions had always been 1) women are disappointing, love them at your own risk and 2) bloody hands make bloody hearts and no one in the normal world likes blood very much. I vowed to learn from their mistakes, but not to submit to the concept that love was hopeless. I've always kinda thought that I could convince Ken-kun to love me someday when we were older and when Weiss became more of a routine. I never thought my affections would be intercepted so badly.
Am I falling for Nagi-kun? You bet your lucky underwear I am.
"Omittchi! Omittchi! Look at this!" Nagi-kun in a state of excitement is always the most exhilarating thing. He's always so shy, aloof, reserved and whenever he's happy, or even better excited, I feel like 'world purity' exists already and the lives we have ahead of us are already behind us. I can see everyday of my life, past and future, in Nagi-kun's eyes. I love him.
"What is it? Nagi-kun! Wait up!" I run after him, bright eyes and a large smile adorning my face all for him. Only for him.
Our afternoon excursions are the best times in both of our lives. Our nighttime endeavors… they were another story.
"Omittchi?" Nagi asks me softly as we meet the corner where we always part ways.
"Yeah?"
"Be careful on your mission tonight."
"Will you be there?"
"Yes. Crawford is overseeing the operations that you've been called on to target tonight."
"Is it time for a union yet?"
"I don't think so. I believe it would be best if we, Schwarz and Weiss, continue playing our games a little while longer. I'll try to ask Farfarello to take it easier on Ken this time."
"Is Farfarello-kun doing any better, Nagi-kun?"
"Not particularly. Thanks for caring."
"Nagi-kun?"
"Yes?"
I hesitate. "Nagi-kun. I care about you a lot."
"I care about you too, Omittchi. You're my best friend."
"I want to be your lover though."
"Omi?"
"I love you, Nagi-kun."
"Omittchi…"
That went over about as well as a root canal practiced on the patient's foot.
"Nagi-kun, just keep that in mind, okay? I care about you more than anyone else – you mean that much to me. Remember. And I'll see you tonight."
"Okay, Omittchi… Tonight."
I'm not the enemy
So don't you let me die
I'm caught in the gravity
Don't let me die
I notice that my flight pattern isn't nearly as erratic as it had been in previous encounters with Schwarz.
It looks like it's Aya-kun's night to take the brunt of our "game." He goes sailing into my flight path after a painful looking uppercut connects with his chin. I brace myself for impact and find my line of travel slightly adjusted…
I catch Aya-kun in my arms before crashing down in theatrical roughness. Aya-kun's weight on top of me was the most pain I'd felt all night.
"Abyssinian? Are you okay?"
Aya-kun nods curtly before standing up. He hastily takes my hand and lifts me up with him in one gracefully fluid motion. One quick over-the-shoulder glance at me and he's off to face Crawford-kun again. Whoever said that Aya-kun doesn't care?
I take careful aim, letting my assassin's training take over, knowing that my darts would be telekinetically cast aside anyway. I shoot and the darts stop in midair several feet away from Nagi-kun.
A splatter of blood droplets falls over me and I look towards the source in surprise. Ken-kun is mercilessly attacking Farfarello-kun, who seems amused by the blood, his own blood, sailing through the air. I take comfort in knowing Farfarello-kun's secrets: he feels no pain and is too crazy to care about blood or severe injury. Otherwise I'd feel bad.
It was bad enough that the laughing, happy, Irish man only heightened Ken-kun's rage.
Schwarz begins to fall out at Crawford-kun's signal; Nagi-kun obediently takes to the sky. I aim darts at the other members of Schwarz in civic duty, but they miss. I swear it's through no fault of mine… la la la.
Farfarello-kun retreats last (obvious, isn't it?). We clean up our mission and return home in jig time.
"Hey guys?" Youji-kun breaks the silences among us as we walk the dark streets to the Koneko. "Is it me or did Schwarz seem ridiculously easy tonight?"
We make the sound
We use the words ever perfectly
The welcomed chime of my instant messenger rings cheerily. It's a message from Nagi-kun! I haven't seen or heard from him in days! I'm beginning to think it's because of what I said to him. My recent misery far surpasses all the pains I've felt before.
Bombay2956: Nagi-kun! Where have you been? Is everything all right?
Progenychild666: No. I'm sorry. I'm having family issues.
Bombay2956: I'm sorry… What can I do?
Progenychild666: Nothing.
Bombay2956: Nothing at all? Why don't we go do something? I can try to make you feel better at least, right?
(Besides, I've missed him terribly.)
Progenychild666: No. I can't see you anytime soon. I'm sorry. Things have come up. I'm very busy…
Bombay2956: Oh… are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Nagi-kun? You can tell me anything.
Progenychild666: Things have come up. Problems. I don't want to discuss it with you. It's all so… dangerous.
Bombay2956: You'll be careful then.
Progenychild666: I love you too, Omi. Just keep that in mind, okay? I care about you more than anyone else – you mean that much to me. Remember.
He logs off immediately after I receive his last message. He loves me? …He loves me! Haha! (Why do those other words sound so familiar?) He loves me! He loves me!
I start bouncing around my bedroom in five-year-old reminiscence. I'm too happy to care. I even kiss my dust-covered windowsill in my ecstatic frenzy. If I could only tell Ken-kun my beautiful story my world would be complete, pure.
Yet somehow
We never seem to know what to say
I decide that 'too much of a good thing' is a silly old saying. I open Ken-kun's bedroom door.
"Ken-kun!"
"Mm?" Ken-kun rolls over on his bed. "Omi? Hey!" Ken-kun smiles wide. Yes, world purity is an attainable reality.
"You look awfully happy! What's up?" Ken-kun lazily repositions himself to get a better view of me; his pure-sugar smile becomes the very light reflecting in my eyes.
I freeze, my insecurities flying back into my head. Ken-kun sits up with a bolt.
"Omi?" I must have a horrified look on my face. I'm expressive like that I guess. I stopped being self-conscious about it early in life and actually learned to embrace it recently as a loveable quality of mine. It had been Ken-kun who'd helped me do that…
Ken-kun takes my hands, so gently, and leads me to his bed so we can sit together. I'm shaking badly and I can't stop. I'm so stupid sometimes! He puts his protective arms around my shoulders and holds me close to his chest.
"Omi? What's wrong? You came in happy and are freaking out now. We- we haven't even talked for weeks and we used to spend a lot of our time together. What's happened? Talk to me." His voice is cracking as if he's pleading with me. As if he's been hurt by… my absence, perhaps even when he needed me most.
Note to self: Feeling freedom is wonderful if you're really free.
Note to self-(PS): I'm not free. I have higher obligations than myself and my happiness.
Thought to ponder later: Nagi-kun must have realized this already.
The shit hits the fan and splatters like Farfarello-kun's blood on a PO Ken-kun day. Schuldich-kun laughs in my head. And I begin to cry.
We talk in rhyme but lack the will
Comfort in the silence kills
"What do you think of Schwarz, Ken-kun?"
"Huh?" (He's so cute when he's clueless.)
"What do you think about them, generally speaking? About their goals or motives?"
"…I don't know…"
I sigh. "I guess Farfarello-k- doesn't leave much of an impression…"
"Oh, he leaves an impression all right."
"But not anything that could apply to motivations."
"Um. Right…" Ken-kun pauses "What about you?"
I gulp before answering and try to make it unnoticeable. Ken-kun notices instantly.
"I've been getting the distinct impression that they're not the bad guys, per say."
"Omi, they're in cahoots with every piece scum that floats down the river." He's giving me a quizzical look that adds to my stress. I can tell he's trying not to let me realize this.
"But what if they have a reason for that? They could be trying to crack down on 'scum' using the back-door approach."
Ken-kun can't hide his skepticism or concern 'for my naivete' any more. Dammit.
"Ken-kun," I say seriously trying to be convincing by sounding absolutely rational. (I think I am being rational anyway.) "You've seen them; they're not normal. They're like evolutions or something who can read minds and float objects. With that kind of power, we could have, should have been a disposed-of nuisance by now. Unless they're not trying to kill us, and for that logical end they must have a reason, right?"
"Omi, if they're so damn powerful, why would they be employing the back-door approach? They're playing games with us, Omi. To them, I think, this is all just fun. Playing with people's lives, playing with people's hearts.
Playing with people's… hearts?
"Omi?" Ken-kun says gently, aware of my hurt but certainly not sure of how deep it is running or why. "Where did you get your ideas about Schwarz?"
I sit here in Ken-kun's room, in Ken-kun's arms, in the most painful silence of my life. I can sink into millions of memories of being in this very position, surrounded by comfortable silence and the spicy-sweet scent of Ken-kun. But I don't want to slink away from reality anymore. Not with Ken-kun anyway. I want my Nagi-kun…
Okay, so I'm petulant. I grew up too fast. What do you want from me?
"Omi?"
"I don't know," I lie.
"It's not like you to jump to conclusions without checking a reliable source."
"A little birdie told me." I want to leave here. Now.
"Omi?" Ken-kun blinks in surprise at me.
I stand up, pulling away from Ken-kun's torturous comfort. "Never mind," I say. "See you later."
I leave my childhood dreams to commit suicide right behind my very eyes.
I'm not the enemy
So don't you let me die
I'm caught in the gravity
Self-analysis for Tsukiyono Omi:
I am stupid. Though previously established, recent tests reprove this scientific theory.
I have severely wounded the two people I care about most.
Case study one: Naoe Nagi. It's been five days, sixteen hours, thirty-eight minutes and fifty-seven seconds since the last time I saw him. (Potential inaccuracy of figures: 0.01%) He refuses to talk to me or see me. He's stood me up four times and ignored my instant messages fifty-four times. The last words I was graced with quoted me exactly (I realize this now), which could be meant as either flattery or mockery. Looking over the collection of data here, I'll infer that it's the latter. This all started when I confessed my love for him.
Naoe Nagi's current status: MIA
My current status concerning Nagi-kun: heart-broken
Case study two: Hidaka Ken. It's been two hours, fifty-three minutes and fourteen seconds since I walked out on him. (Potential inaccuracy of figures: 2%) I refuse to open my door (not that anyone's come knocking yet) and all incoming instant messages are being told to go screw for all intensive purposes. His last words to me are long forgotten and mine to him were something to the effect of 'forget what I said' and were probably taken very offensively. This is all my fault because the Takatori blood in me dictates my fate to be an absolute dick. Note to self: Don't screw with fate; it screws back with a rapist's vengeance.
Hidaka Ken's current status: unknown
My current status concerning Ken-kun: Ow, my ass…
My current general status: Confused. Lost and deeply saddened. Crushed. Tired and exhausted. (Damn you Murphy and your little red Chevy! Get a driver's license you bum!) Incapable of hiding my hurt under a smile. Close to mental trauma stage three and no family to turn to. I never want to see Aya-kun look at me as if I was trash ever again…
And these are the people I try so hard for? Somebody take aim and shoot me now. I want to be lifted up into the sky and taken into heaven.
And you're the sky
Suddenly, I find myself floating. I'm up off my carpet with weightless ease. Either I'm dreaming or… Nagi-kun's here!
He kicks at my window frantically as I am flown over to unlock it for him. He jumps through and lands with a loud thud. Something is very wrong here…
"Omittchi! Downstairs quickly, or your family will be destroyed!"
"What?" I exclaim as he runs to my door and opens it wide.
"Don't ask, just come on!" he cries.
As we barrel down the stairs to the shop section of the Koneko, Nagi-kun breathes, "Omittchi, I'm sorry."
"What's going on?"
"Sabotage."
"What?"
"I'm sorry. It's all my fault."
"What are you-"and then I open the entrance to the shop. I halt in my tracks and try not to scream. Nagi-kun crashes into my back, steadies himself using my shoulders, and finally stops to look. I can sense his horror piling up with my own.
I'm not the enemy
So don't you let me die
I'm caught in the gravity
Don't let me die
The shop is trashed, but that's the least of my concerns. The blood painting the walls a new shade of rosy red is a decent part of the problem. The sight of my family on the floor in various stages of injury, their work aprons still on sopping up their spilled liquid life, was the problem (understatement of the year, ne?). They were obviously not expecting an intrusion like this; more than likely there had been customers in the shop at the time of the attack.
A little less horrifying to me, but probably more horrifying to Nagi-kun, is the sight of the other members of Schwarz standing amidst the floral ruins. Crawford's immaculate suit is spattered in blood (a sight I'd never seen before). Farfarello-kun is in dire need of another bath, this time not with blood.
Farfarello-kun dazedly turns and faces us. He blinks and tilts his head at Nagi-kun, confusedly.
"Hey, look who joined the party, Crawford." Even normal speech sounded like snickering out of Schuldich. My eyes narrow without me even thinking about it.
"Nagi." Crawford sounded threatening. I instinctively square my shoulders in a protective stance, protective of Nagi-kun standing behind me. "What are you doing here? I told you to stay put."
"Crawford," Nagi-kun replies hollowly. I begin to dart my eyes between my family members, assessing the damages. Ken-kun… please don't die on me.
"You have to ask him?" Schuldich asks Crawford incredulously. "He's here to warn his little boy-toy that we were coming to visit." I notice Nagi-kun's eyes narrowing using my peripheral vision. I have to step in, for my family's sake as well as Nagi-kun's.
"What do you want here?" I hiss.
Schuldich leans on Crawford's shoulder lazily. "Ah, we're just making an example out of you, that's all. Don't take it personally."
Crawford clears his throat, a threat in itself, obviously, as Schuldich withdraws from his leaning post. "Using Weiss as pawns and playthings has proven too dangerous to us, so we have decided to dispose of them." He didn't seem to be talking to me. That pissed me off.
Nagi-kun interjects, "How dangerous, Crawford? They're harmless!"
"O-ho!" Schuldich laughs. "Hear that, Crawford? He thinks Weiss would work well with us."
"I don't hear thoughts, you nimrod," Crawford states in calm agitation. As an afterthought he adds, "Shut up."
"Don't get so testy," Schuldich retorts childishly. What the hell is going on here?
"But I am aware of the problem you speak of on my own intuition." Crawford glares directly at Nagi-kun. I think Youji-kun has stopped breathing. I am so helpless. I've been had.
"Nagi, you impertinent brat. You've been naïve enough to fool yourself into thinking that we've kept Weiss alive for diplomatic reasons. You've gone too far in putting unnecessary worth to their names and committed the final act of treachery by deciding to adulate one of them. Now we shall seal their fates as your personal punishment. You have no other ties to any thing outside of Schwarz. This is your final warning, Nagi. You've exercised far too much autonomy during your stay in Eszette."
No… This can't-
"Na… gi…?"
All coherent eyes in the room are staring at Farfarello-kun. Had he just spoken?
I'm not the enemy
So don't you let me die
"Farfarello!" Nagi says rather breathlessly in my ear.
"End this nonsense!" Crawford interrupts. "Schuldich?"
"Yessir!" Schuldich grins and pulls out a gun with a laugh.
All in a blur, Schuldich shoots his gun in the direction of Nagi-kun and myself as Farfarello-kun moves from his station in time to take the bullet in the back.
Farfarello-kun staggers momentarily before looking up at Schuldich's gawking face. Even Crawford looks unnerved with this strange turn of events.
"Farfarello." I think Crawford is trying to sound ominous, but it isn't working. I doubt that he's ready for the glare that Farfarello-kun is shooting him in return. My blood is running cold just looking at it.
Farfarello-kun turns his head to the side like he's trying to look at Nagi-kun or me. I notice Crawford's eyes widen in… horror?
"Schuldich!" he yells with a gasp.
Schuldich curses in German (or so I believe, I really can't say) as he aims his gun again very carefully at Farfarello-kun. In the meantime, Nagi-kun blinks in realization of something and then pushes me aside hastily.
Nagi-kun cries out, "Farfarello-niisan! Do it and do it now!"
"Iiyayayayayayayayaya!"
Farfarello-kun leaps on Schuldich in a blur of motion. Nagi-kun pulls me back into the hallway and slams the door behind us.
"What the hell is going on?" I ask Nagi-kun. He just grabs my shoulders weakly, tears streaming down his face. I can't help but pull him into my arms, even in the midst of all this chaos.
"Farfarello decided that he didn't like what Crawford was saying anymore. Niisan…"
"Will he be okay out there?"
"I'm… not sure. But I do know this!"
Nagi-kun opens the door telekinetically and Aya-kun's, Youji-kun's and Ken-kun's sleeping figures drift into the hall. They are set down gently on the carpet. The door shuts again with a click and Nagi-kun looks up at me with a melancholy smile.
"Thank you, Nagi-kun," I whisper softly. I begin to say more, to reiterate how much I love him and that I'll be there for him when this is all over, but a large object being slammed into the door cuts me off. I release a surprised yelp and the color drains from Nagi-kun's face.
"Farfarello-kun!" I cry. Without thinking, I scramble up to join the fray. Nagi-kun has done all that he possibly could for me today, even betray his own family. I will do the same in return.
I'll break the gravity
Emotions rush over me uncontrollably. Sadness, pain, betrayal, fear. Love, friendship, brotherhood, hatred. Vengeance, longing, despair. My whole universe becomes a blur of colors, all signifying these emotions. I am an expressive person and I embrace that fact as my very best quality!
Consumed by all this, I move. My speed seems inhumanly possible; I cannot grasp all of my surroundings the way I normally would be able to. I'm not fully aware of my actions. I'm not fully aware of anything.
My head is swimming in the muddy waters of feeling, the intense depth putting pressure on my soul. Like a submarine that dives too deep I'm on the verge of self-destruction. Like a submarine without its computerized system I'm not aware of the danger.
I'm just not aware, period.
And then I hear a shot, followed by many others that overlap with the sounds of ripping heavy materials and horrible cracking noises. I feel warm water rush down my arms and chest, and my back too. My cheek is suddenly being pressed against something solid; actually my whole body is, as if I'm lying down. The pain finally registers and I scream.
Don't let me die
I don't know what happened to Crawford or Schuldich or how my family members managed to wake up and get to my side. But the bad guys are gone now, and my loved ones are okay so all is right with the world.
I'd even call it 'pure' if I could get rid of this splitting headache.
"Omi!" It's Ken-kun and his voice is cracking again.
"Ken… kun…" I cough between syllables and wonder where that warm water trickling down my chin is from. Ken-kun makes a choking sound. I open my eyes.
"What's wrong?" Upon further inspection I add, "Why are you crying?"
"Stop talking, Omittchi," Nagi-kun coos to me softly. "You'll just make it worse."
"No," Youji-kun says quietly. "Let Omi talk all he wants. He'll never get another chance."
I look at them all, confused. What are they all talking about? Why do they all look so sad? …Why is it so dark all of a sudden?
And it's getting kind of hard to breathe.
"Am I… dying?" I cough again and realize that the warm water is my blood and its spilling from my mouth. If all of what I thought was warm water is my blood… then there sure is a lot of it.
Oh, gods, no! I can't die yet. I have so much that I'm still obligated to do. And… Nagi-kun… Ken-kun! No! Not yet…
Their silence is deafening.
"Ken-kun? I'm sorry… I… abandoned you…"
"Omi…"
"I… you'll never under… I can't…" How can I tell him how much I loved him last week when it's now today and I screwed up so horribly? Time is precious. Ken-kun's is precious…
"You're so… so precious… to me… Ken-kun." I loved you.
"Nagi-kun?"
"Yes?" comes his soft reply.
"I love you."
No response. Did really I give up Ken-kun for unrequited love? Would it have mattered?
Then, "I love you too, Omi. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
Death is rather peaceful when all the pieces come together. I'm one of the lucky ones. None of my victims ever got to settle their personal issues before they saw death. Time is precious and so are the people you love. Never ever hesitate to tell them how you feel. Never let the sun set on a problem. Appreciate gravity. Especially the gravity of love.