To be completely honest with all of you, I don't want to finish this story. It's taken me FOREVER to write and I am so over the whole concept. I have written about almost completely the last two chapters of the story that are posted below. Maybe one day if I get bored I will finish this story but until then all you are left with is this. I am so sorry to anyone who has been reading this through, and I feel awful for not finishing it in its entirety.
OK, so we were last left with the baby's heart rate dropping. Mary has to have a c-section, and the doctor continues to be a real jerk, doesn't ask for help when he needs it, and the baby ends up dying "on the table". Wilson stays with Mary at the hospital the entire time she is there and doesn't leave her side. Matt comes the next day after finding out the news and apologizes profusely to Wilson as they watch Mary sleep, and Wilson forgives Matt. Then that night, only about 30 hours after her c-section, Mary decides she doesn't want to be in the hospital anymore and she wants to go home and be in her own house. She gets Wilson to scream and yell at the hospital people and they let her out.
Then…
Wilson got into the driver's side of the car and started the engine. He looked at Mary out of the corner of his eye, but the only thing she was doing was sitting there. He expected her to be doing something out of the ordinary- going crazy, yelling, anything, yet she was doing nothing. That frightened him beyond words.
On the short drive home, Mary remained perfectly silent and still. Her hands were folded in her lap and her eyes stayed fixed intently outside the car, looking through the grimy windshield a foot in front of her face. Inside of her head was no different from the blankness of her outward appearance. The only things going through her mind were senseless nothings about the scenery passing her by- the color of the car in the lane next to them, why the traffic lights were taking so long to change, what day of the week it was.
They pulled into the Camden driveway, blackness engulfing the car and covering up their faces. Wilson turned off the engine, pulled out the key, and then stopped. He wasn't quite sure if he should get right out of the car or not, so he waited a while. He turned to face Mary, awaiting some sort of sign.
"What time is it?" Mary asked him while looking at her feet.
Wilson looked down at his watch, pressing the illuminating button. "Um, 12:53."
Mary didn't say anything; she just opened the door.
"Wait a second," Wilson called out to her before she got out. He ran around to the car over to her side. "Can you walk?" he asked her.
Mary grabbed Wilson's hand and held onto him for dear life as she stood upright. She closed her eyes tightly as she managed the pain she was going through.
"You OK?"
She nodded back at him and turned toward the house, refusing to let go of his hand. As Wilson fiddled with the key at the front door, she turned away from him as she continued to be uncharacteristically distant. He let them into the house and quietly closed the door behind them. He guided Mary to the steps in the darkness and paused in front of them.
"Can you walk up the stairs?"
"Yeah," she answered squeezing his hand, "just go slow with me."
He smiled at Mary and the two of them inched their way up the steps one foot at a time. After a while, they reached the summit of the staircase.
"I'll put you to bed, OK?" Wilson said.
Mary shook her head. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Uh…" Wilson wanted to say no, but he didn't want to hurt her. She's been through so much that the last thing she needed was to be pushed away.
"Please. I don't want to go back in there and be by myself. I want to be with you. I need you."
Wilson smiled at Mary and put his hand on her back. "OK, if that's what you want."
Mary almost smiled, but kept her emotions inside. Generally, she wouldn't min opening up to Wilson, but things had changed since Friday. Nothing felt the same anymore and she didn't like it, but she felt trapped. There was nothing Mary could do to change the situation she was in. She was stuck in a false reality of despair and heartache, even though she had her soul mate alongside her.
The next morning, with only a thin taupe sheet covering her, Mary rolled over onto Wilson, placing her naked skin against his. Right after she moved, she hoped that she hadn't woken him. She wasn't quite ready to talk; she hadn't decided yet how she felt about anything. It all happened too fast that there was nothing for her to do but react, and now she had to face the music she was not ready to hear.
Wilson took his hand and rubbed Mary's back. She nestled closer into him, trying to drown her sorrows in his bare chest. He inadvertently went to rub her stomach, but stopped short, remembering everything that had happened.
"How are you feeling?" he asked Mary as he continued to softly rub his hand all over her bare body.
"Sore and exhausted," she replied flatly.
He nodded, not knowing how else to respond to her. Mary moved once more, this time so that she was lying on her back. Wilson moved so that he was against her, needing to feel her skin to convince himself that she was really all right and here with him. Well, maybe "all right" was going too far, but after the scary labor she went through, he was thankful she was still here on this earth for him to be able to hold.
"Do you want to talk?" he said after spending five minutes working up the courage to ask.
"No," she shot back. There was no reason for her to lie to him, she wasn't in the mood to discuss anything. All Wilson ever wanted to do was talk, and sometimes she felt he wasn't even listening. "Do you think they know I'm home?"
"That depends, what time is it?"
Mary groaned. She knew they all were most likely awake and well aware she had come home some time last night.
"Do you want to just get up? That way you don't have to worry about your parents screaming at us."
"If they yell I'll yell right back. I'm not in the mood to deal with their philosophies on teenage love and intimacy this morning."
"Well do you want to at least put some clothes on? You know, just in case?"
"I'm too sore to wear clothes. I don't want anything touching me right now but you."
Wilson smiled, but Mary failed to wipe the pout off her face. Wilson leaned down and kissed Mary's bare shoulder, jolting her with a sense of love throughout her entire being. Mary closed her eyes tightly, listening to the faint sound of Wilson breathing. Because so many things had gone on recently, she only had enough energy to focus on one thing at a time. Right now she reasoned that Wilson was what she should be concerned with.
Mary took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I love you. I really, really love you Wilson. I never thought that I could feel this strongly about someone or have this powerful of a connection with another person, but you changed everything. And I can't thank you enough for-"
"You don't have to thank me for anything. I'm your partner in crime, remember?"
Mary pressed her lips against Wilson's chest gently. "I never found out what happened at the trial after I left. Was it bad? Was that why no one told me?"
"No, no, no. I just forgot, that's all. You were more important than all of that."
"So?"
Before Wilson could answer Mary, there was a knock at the door. There was one knock, followed by two shortly after- the knock pattern that was used by none other than Reverend Camden.
"Just a second," Wilson said loud enough so that he could be heard through the door. He got up, put some clothes on, and thrust garments off the floor in Mary's direction so that she too would be clothed. Once she was dressed, Wilson opened the door wide enough so that he could stick his head out.
"Reverend Camden, good morning."
"'Morning Wilson. Mary wouldn't happen to be home by any chance, would she?"
"How did you know?" Wilson asked.
"Because I know you would never leave her at the hospital alone." Eric put his hand on Wilson shoulder. "You're a good man, Wilson."
"Thank you," Wilson said graciously accepting his praise.
"Now, where is my little girl?"
Mary groaned as she heard her father's words. Little girl- she was definitely nothing of the sort.
Wilson opened the door fully to reveal Mary on the bed.
"There she is," Eric said walking over to Mary and sitting down on the bed next to her. "How are you doing Mare?" he asked placing his hands on the sides of her arms. Mary did not answer him. "Understandable. But I have something to tell you that might lift your spirits. Matt's going to stop by today. He wants to talk to you. I think he is finally going to forgive you, Mary."
Mary's jaw dropped. The last person on Earth she wanted to speak to was Matt. After how awful he had made her feel, she was perfectly happy never seeing him again. Now he was coming over today. Great.
"I knew you would be excited," Eric said with a grin plastered on his face. Mary just glared back at her father. "I guess I'll go then," he said sensing the hostility in the room. He stood up and looked around at Mary and Wilson.
"Good bye, Sir," Wilson said to him.
As Eric left the room, he took one final look at Mary. After noticing that Mary was wearing Wilson's clothes, he left to go find Annie.
Mary, on the other hand, was not acting as peaceful as her father was. She pulled the pillow out from behind her back and placed in front of her. She started punching it repeatedly, mumbling things that made no sense to Wilson whatsoever.
"This is what I want to do to Matt…and my father…and my mother who was probably in on the whole thing, too."
"Why?" Wilson questioned as he cautiously walked toward her. "Why are you so upset?"
"In case you didn't hear," she said sounding snippy, "Matt is planning on stopping by today for a leisurely visit."
"And what is so awful about that?"
"Ugh!" Mary screamed loudly, punching the pillow one more time hard.
Wilson grabbed Mary's hand so she wouldn't hurt him and looked at her confused. "Why does this bother you so much?"
"First off, I don't want to see him. Second, he is going to forgive me. Shouldn't it be the other way around?!"
"Um, I guess so," Wilson answered.
"You guess so?! I don't understand you. You should be as mad as I am."
"And why is that?"
"Because Matt acted even worse toward you than he did to me."
Wilson wrapped his arms around Mary and she leaned her head on his chest. "Calm down," he said to her lovingly. "Who knows, maybe he's changed?"
"Do you know something that I don't?" she asked him sounding hurt.
Meanwhile, downstairs in the kitchen, Eric was having a serious conversation with his wife.
"Did you know that Mary's home?"
Annie's face lit up. "No, I didn't. Good for her. I knew she was strong enough to pull through this."
"Yeah, well I know how she was able to 'pull through this'," Eric said sinisterly to Annie.
"What do you mean?"
"Did you know that Mary spent the night with Wilson?"
"No, I didn't know that," Annie responded warmly, "but I am not surprised."
"Well would you be surprised if I told you that not only did they share his bed, but that she was wearing his clothes? Which means that hers most have miraculously gotten lost sometime during the night. I wonder how that could have happened."
"Oh Eric stop being such a stick in the mud," Annie said. "I am sure that they didn't do anything last night."
"I'm glad you have so much faith in them Annie because I don't," Eric said slightly raising his voice.
"In case you have forgotten, Mary had a c-section just two nights ago. It is practically physically impossible for her to have sex for at least another 2 weeks."
"Where there's a will there's a way," Eric muttered as he left his wife and walked out of the kitchen.
Back upstairs, Mary and Wilson were still fighting over Matt's little visit.
"I cannot believe you forgave him Wilson!" Mary screamed at him. She hated being this angry with him, but she couldn't help it. What he did was inexcusable. They were supposed to be in agreement on everything and now Matt was ruining all of this. Wilson put his hand on Mary's back, but she took it off of her.
"No," she said hardheartedly. "I want an explanation- I deserve an explanation from you."
"I know you do, but I don't think I'm going to give you one."
"Well why not?"
"Because, first off all what he said to me was not meant for you to hear. And secondly, I think Matt is coming over today to tell you what he told me, and I don't want to ruin it for you."
"I don't understand. Ruin what?"
"Nothing, just trust me on this one and have faith in your brother."
"He is NOT my brother!" Mary screamed at him.
"Fine. You know what, I give up. I'm going to go downstairs to have breakfast, do you want me to bring you anything?"
"No," she replied rudely.
Wilson did not say anything to Mary as he exited the room. She was being impossible to handle right now, and he figured that at the very least she needed her space. Wilson walked downstairs to kitchen, clomping down each step. He was angry with himself for being mad at Mary. He went down to find only Mrs. Camden finishing up Sunday morning's breakfast.
"Hi Wilson," Annie said when she saw him.
"Good Morning Mrs. Camden."
"So, how is everything? We haven't talked much since Friday."
"Well, I guess it could be worse."
Annie smiled at him, but she sensed that Wilson had bigger issues than could be fixed with her motherly touch. "Would you like something to eat? I'm making eggs and toast."
"Just some toast for me," he answered. "It's been a rough morning and I don't have a very big appetite. Can I give you a hand?"
"I've got it, thanks."
Wilson nodded to Annie and smiled amiably as he took his normal seat at the kitchen table. He was being very quiet, waiting for the inevitable question about Mary's emotional and physical state.
"So, um, I heard that Mary came home with you," Annie said warmly to Wilson.
"Yeah, she did."
"How's she doing?"
"She's all right I guess, she's just not in a very good mood right now."
"Oh, why is that?"
"I don't think I should say. I don't want-"
"Ok, I understand."
As Annie finished scrambling the eggs, Lucy came down the stairs.
"Good morning Mom," she said before she even laid eyes on her. "Wilson? I didn't know you were home."
"Hi Luce."
"Is Mary home, too?"
"Yeah, she is."
"I have to go see her," Lucy said sounding excited.
"I wouldn't do that," Wilson warned her.
"Why not?"
"Because she's kind of cranky right now. Give her a little time to get into a better mood."
Lucy nodded and took her seat opposite Wilson. "So, um, how are you doing?"
"Me? I'm fine."
"I'm glad you didn't get sent to jail or anything."
Wilson smiled. "You and me both."
As the two of them waited for breakfast to be finished, Simon and Ruthie ran down the stairs.
"Wilson!" Ruthie said running over to him and sitting on his lap.
"Good morning Ruthie," he said as he helped her up onto his knees.
"I missed you. It was lonely yesterday morning watching cartons all by myself."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Wilson said.
"I missed you, too," said Simon. "If you were here I wouldn't have been the one stuck watching kiddy cartoons."
Wilson laughed and took Ruthie off of his lap, helping her into her seat as Annie put the food out on the table. Ruthie sat next to Simon and Simon was next to Lucy. As the four of them ate their food, Wilson could hear the whispers from the kids around the table. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but he knew they were talking about him. They got even louder, and Wilson could feel the three of them kicking each other's legs underneath the table. Simon kicked Ruthie's leg hard, and he and Lucy gave her domineering glances.
Ruthie put down her fork and tapped Wilson on the shoulder. Wilson smiled widely and turned to Ruthie.
"Wilson, we're all really sorry about the baby," she said to him in her most grown-up sounding voice.
"Thanks you guys," he said back to all of them. "That means a lot to me."
Wilson picked at his toast, his mind focused on how he was going to handle Mary. When he came to what he thought was a dead end in his reasoning, he heard something on the stairs.
"Wilson," he heard Mary say from behind him.
Wilson got up and ran to the stairs, spying Mary standing in the corner of the landing. He walked up the stairs and stood next to her.
"What are you doing out of bed?"
"I'm sorry," she said to him. "I was being a real jerk and I shouldn't have picked a fight with you. Whatever went on between you two does not concern me, and I decided just to let go and let God."
"I'll forgive you if you forgive me," Wilson said to her. "I wasn't very nice to you, either."
"Done," Mary said. "Now that that's settled, can you help me back up to the bedroom? I don't think I can walk the stairs again."
Wilson kissed Mary's forehead lightly. "Do you want me to carry you?"
"Could you?" she asked.
"Sure." Wilson gently picked Mary up and struggled up the two flights of stairs with her in his arms. He brought her back to the bed and lightly descended her onto the mattress. "Better?"
"Almost," Mary said. She slipped off the pair of boxers she had put on to go downstairs and threw them on the floor. "Now I'm better."
Wilson laughed at Mary. She always knew how to put a smile on his face, even when he knew she was the one who needed to be cheered up.
"There's only one thing that could make it perfect."
"What's that?"
"Will you get back in bed with me?"
"OK, but not if you're expecting to do anything," Wilson warned her.
"Do you understand how much pain I am in right now? I couldn't walk up ten steps but I am able to have sex with you?"
"I'm sorry."
"Don't you trust that I'm not going to seduce you?" she asked him, curious to know what his response would be.
"No," Wilson said slyly while getting into bed, "but I do trust that you are not going to seduce me into having sex."
Mary leaned against Wilson, closing her eyes tightly in attempts to rest. "You're treading a fine line, mister," Mary said to him. She thought over his response and started to giggle with girlish banter.
"What's so funny?"
"Exactly what else would I seduce you into doing besides sex?"
"Uh…I don't know," he said.
Mary laughed again and so did Wilson.
"It's so nice to see you smile again Mare," he said tucking a stray piece of her brown locks behind her ear.
"Well, it's nice to feel like smiling again. It's been a long four days."
"Four days? I'd say it's been a long seven months."
"7 months, one week, 3 days," Mary said, her eyes getting teary.
Wilson leaned against the headboard of the bed. Mary put her head on his chest and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Wilson hated to see Mary like this, and he sighed at the thought of her being this way for a long while. All of the "what-ifs" were really starting to get him down, when Lucy knocked at the door. Wilson looked up at her, but Mary kept her back facing her sister on purpose.
"Hi Luce," Wilson said.
"Dad just wanted me to tell you that we're leaving for church now," she said sounding very uncomfortable.
"OK, have fun," Wilson said sarcastically.
Lucy gave Mary a final look and then walked out the door.
"So are you just not talking to Lucy, or are you not talking to anyone?"
"I'm not talking to anyone," Mary confirmed.
"And why is that?" Wilson asked.
"Because once I talk to them they're going to apologize or make me talk about it and I don't want to."
Wilson picks up Mary's hand and turns so that he can see her face. "Well, will you talk about it with me then?" he asked hesitantly.
Mary looks down at the bed, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "Uh, I don't know."
"Please," he begged.
"Why do you want to talk about it so bad?"
"Because it happened and it's not good not to talk about it." Mary didn't answer him, but Wilson could tell she was thinking it over. "Please Mary, I don't want to push you but-"
Mary sat up and moved herself directly in front of Wilson. "OK," she finally said sounding defeated. "You win. What about it?"
"I want to know how you are feeling because the last thing I want to do is say something to offend you."
"I feel sad and depressed and angry and scared and lost," Mary said, rattling of adjectives that meant nothing to Wilson. Those words didn't tell him anymore than he could have figured out after merely sitting next to Mary in silence. "And I'm in so much pain right now that it's killing me to sit here like this," she continued.
"Then don't sit like that," Wilson told her.
"No, I have to sit like this. If were going to talk about this I have to be able to see your face," she said placing her hand on his knees. "So what else now?" she asked sounding quite annoyed.
"You know, we don't have to do this is you don't want to," Wilson responded trying to be as patient with Mary as he could.
"No, no I want to."
When Wilson finally thought that Mary was going to open up to her, Eric walked into the room. "You want to what Mary?"
Mary grabbed Wilson's hand quickly and looked away from her father. "Nothing," she mumbled.
"We were just talking about, um, talking," Wilson said to the reverend.
"I don't mean to be rude," Eric said sitting down on the bed and making himself comfortable, "but I hope you two weren't talking about having sex."
"We were going to have an important conversation Dad, so did you want something in particular?" Mary asked, still not ready to look her father in the eye.
"Oh, what are you talking about?"
"Our dead child," Mary said strongly without a single bit of remorse in her voice. The words hung in the air like a thick fog. You could almost see them lurching precariously above Mary's pursed lips. They all wanted to grab the dense syllables and hide them somewhere that they could never be used in that combination again. But it was too late for all of that, Mary had said it and there was no way for her to take it back.
"I just wanted to tell you that we were leaving for church," Eric responded quietly a few minutes later.
"Oh, Lucy already told us," Wilson responded.
"I know," Eric said, "but she also told me that you two were lying in bed together so I thought I better come up here. You do anything, anything at all that is not to my liking, and…and…" Eric did not know what to threaten Mary with. She hardly seemed like his little girl anymore who needed reprimanding. "…And you'll both be grounded."
Mary rolled her eyes at her father. "Bye Dad."
Eric gave them both an admonitory look before he got up and left the room.
"How are we going to get them to trust that we aren't going to have sex again?" Mary asked Wilson once her father was gone for good.
"We're not," he replied candidly. "But we are getting off topic."
"I know, I know," Mary said with a sigh. "So, ask me a question or something. Don't just thrust the topic in my face."
"Are you going to be OK?"
"I guess so, I just feel really weird; like the whole world is spinning around me and I'm standing still. And I don't want to catch up with it, and that scares me. I want to just stay here with you in this bed for forever, and that in itself probably scares me the most out of everything."
"Why?"
"Because I'm in love with you."
Wilson looked at Mary with sheer bewilderment. "I don't understand."
"Before, we had a special bond with the baby. Now that it's gone, I feel like something is missing from our relationship. I'm afraid without that bond we won't be able to keep our heads above water and we'll drown because we're so young. "
"I love you," Wilson said picking up Mary's hands, "baby or no baby."
"I know that, but I'm still afraid you'll leave me. I'm scared I'll wake up one day and you'll be gone and I'll never see you again." Mary started to get teary eyed. "At least if we had a child I knew I could get you to stick around."
Wilson tried to pull Mary in for a hug, but she wouldn't have any of that. "I'm not going anywhere. How can I prove that to you?"
Tears ran down Mary's flushed cheeks without her consent. "I don't know. But I wish everything had been all right with the baby. I was ready for it-we were prepared. But not for this." Mary started to cry and she didn't care if the whole world heard her. "I knew it died before they told me. I felt it."
"I thought they gave you novocain."
"They did, but I didn't physically feel it. It was more of an emotional thing. And that hurt," she said finally accepting Wilson's embrace, "I've never felt anything like that before."
Mary sobbed for a long time on Wilson's shoulder, giving up all of her inhibitions about having emotions that were bigger than she could deal with. With Wilson by her side she could get through anything, even the death of her child and a major surgery. Mary looked over Wilson's shoulder at the clock behind him and saw that her family would be back in a little over a half an hour. She cringed at the thought of Matt coming later. She desperately wanted some more alone time with Wilson to grieve and rest her drained body. Nonetheless, she still had that half hour, and she was going to take advantage of it.
Mary pulled away from Wilson and kissed his lips lightly. "I'm really tired."
"Let's sleep then," he suggested. "Can you lie down without being in too much pain?"
"I think so," Mary said positioning her body against Wilson.
"Do you want me to get you an ibuprofen or something?"
Mary shook her head and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Don't leave me," Mary whispered as she started to drift off to sleep.
Wilson leaned against Mary and they entangled their arms and legs in a neatly spun web that only they could unravel. The two of them slept for over 20 minutes before Mary gently shook Wilson awake with tears streaming down her porcelain skin, dripping off of her chin and onto Wilson shirt intermittently.
"Wilson," she whispered as she nudged his shoulder gently. His eyes opened and Mary stared into them. "Can I ask you some questions?"
Wilson rubbed his eyes. "Sure."
"Was the baby a boy or a girl?"
Wilson thought for a second, trying to recall the information. He scanned his mind, but the only thing he could remember was the nurse quickly whisking the baby away after it was pulled out of Mary's body. "I don't know Mare."
She nodded. "And what did they do with the baby? Did they bury it?" she asked, crying harder with every word that escaped her mouth.
"I don't know about that either, but I heard your dad say something about the place where your grandmother was buried, and the plots around her and stuff. Maybe it's there." Mary nodded and put her head back on top of Wilson chest. "I really don't know much more than you do," Wilson said to Mary. "I stayed with you the whole time."
"I know," she said rubbing the tears away from her eyes. "Thank you for that."
Neither Mary nor Wilson could go back to sleep, but the two of them laid together until they heard people come into the house. As soon as they heard the front door open, Wilson could feel Mary whole mood change and her body tense up in his arms. Wilson rubbed her back and told her that it was going to be okay. This time though, no matter how hard she tried, Mary couldn't seem to believe him. Too many wrongs had happened for there to ever be a right.
Nearly a half hour later, there was a knock on the bedroom door. Mary knew what that meant- they were home and ready to try to deal with her. She dreaded having a conversation with anyone. She didn't even really want to talk to Wilson. She only did that out of sheer desperation. She loved him, and it didn't seem right to have all of these feelings boiling up inside of her without releasing some of them his way.
She buried her head into the pillow next to Wilson's face. He rubbed his hand over her back and got up. She reached her hand out to him, hoping he would stay next to her just a second longer. Despite her actions he left her to answer the door.
"Well, we're home," Reverend Camden said after Wilson opened the door. "Everything all right in here?" he asked poking his head into the room and looking around for a shred of suspicious evidence. To his dismay and delight he found none.
"We're OK I guess," Wilson responded.
"How are you Mary?" Eric asked. Mary groaned in response, angry at the way her father was treating her. It was like he had no sympathy whatsoever for anything she could possibly be going through. "You have a visitor Mary," Eric said jocundly.
Mary looked over at Wilson and stared threateningly at him. He rushed over to her side and sat down next to where she was laying in bed. Matt walked in from behind the door and smile wholeheartedly at his baby sister. Eric got up, patted Matt on the shoulder, and then left the room.
"Hi Mary," Matt said weakly. She didn't respond to him, so Matt sat down on the bed as well. "How are you doing Mary?" She still did not answer him, and Matt sighed loudly. "I don't blame you for not talking to me. If I were you I wouldn't say anything either. But I came to apologize to you today, and you don't have to talk for that. So please, just listen to me. I know I don't deserve it, but that's all I'm asking."
Mary looked up at Wilson, who nodded at her. Mary shook her head and leaned into Wilson, hiding her face with his arm. She refused to speak with anyone other than Wilson, especially Matt. She didn't want to have to explain anything to him or accept a phony apology from someone she could barely stand to be in the same room with.
"Anyway," Matt said sounding a little annoyed, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the way I acted recently. I'm sorry I left when you needed a big brother the most. But most of all, I'm sorry for blaming the both of you for my not being able to cope with the situation at hand. I could have done something and pulled the family together, but instead I left and pulled everyone even farther apart. That was not the right thing to do and I realize that now. I've already lost a niece or a nephew…I hope I didn't loose my sister, too."
Mary just stared back at Matt, determined to keep a constant expressionless stare going in his direction. Wilson rubbed her arm, trying to encourage her to at least say something, but she still kept quiet. Besides the fact that she didn't want to talk to him ever again, Mary figured this was for the best. Once she opened her mouth she could not be held accountable for the hateful words that would come pouring out of it. She resented him for leaving and could never just forgive him and forget about that. The image of him screaming in her face and pouncing at Wilson was forever burned onto her brain.
"All right," Matt said with a heavy sigh. "I'll leave you alone, I've said my piece."
Wilson nodded at Matt and he left. Wilson pulled Mary in even tighter, but she pulled away from him. She lied down flat, removing the pillow from behind her head and placing it in Wilson's knees. Eventually, she moved her head into Wilson's lap and onto the pillow. Wilson watched her rummage about the bed as tears fell from her eyes. Wilson and Mary both felt individually hopeless, like there was no foreseeable cure for the sadness. Wilson moved Mary's head from his lap and lied down under the covers beside her. Mary wiped her eyes quickly, afraid that he would see her crying. Wilson placed his hand upon hers, stopping it from wiping her face and telling her that he felt almost as awful as she did.
"Want to sleep?" he asked. "Let's sleep."
"OK," she replied sniffling. "I'm exhausted from being up most of the night."
Mary put her head on Wilson's chest and listened to his heartbeat as she felt his warm breath come over her. He put his hand underneath the back of her shirt and caressed the smooth skin of her back. This made her feel a little better, but not much. She purposely wasn't sleeping because she was waiting for Wilson to say something to make her feel better. She wanted a profound and poetic statement to comfort her and point her in the direction of the road to emotional recovery.
"Life's not fair," Wilson said as if on queue. "Why should a gorgeous girl like you have to go through so much pain? But eventually Mare, somehow, you'll get through this and end up being even stronger than you were before. You'll be…an impenetrable force of Camden nature."
Mary smiled. Not exactly poetry, but it temporarily masked the pain. She moved her head so that she could look at Wilson's face. She stared into his eyes deeply and opened her soul to him. He peered into it and tasted the bitterness of her sorrow, and he didn't like its unsavory flavor. He looked away from her, almost as if he was cowering away, but Mary turned his face back to hers with her hand. She made him look at her because she had something to say- something that wouldn't have the same impact if he were staring at the blank attic wall.
"I love you," she said gazing into his chocolate brown eyes that seemed so forgiving yet scared. "The only reason I open my eyes is because I know you are here with me; I draw strength from that. And no matter how many times I've been burned in the past, I trust you completely. I know you would never hurt me because you love me."
"I do love you," he said caressing her cheek. "It makes me happy that I mean this much to you."
"I'd give it all up for you, but I don't feel I'd have much to give anymore. I mean, what would anyone want that I have?"
"Me," Wilson replied with a giggle.
Mary laughed, too, but she stopped short. It felt weird for her to laugh, like it was against the rules of mourning for herself and her loss.
"It's OK, laugh," Wilson said as if he was reading her mind. "It's OK to be happy. Happy is good."
"No," she said with tears forming in her eyes, "no it's not. Its wrong."
Wilson held her a little closer and rubbed the sides of her arms. "I have an idea. Why don't we both give ourselves some time to be sad, to grieve, and then after that time is up we stop and try to go back on with life."
"How long?"
"Today, tomorrow, and Tuesday. Then Wednesday I have 3 classes to go to."
Mary instantly got scared. "You're going to leave?"
Wilson looked at her with sympathetic eyes. "Just from 10 to 2. Then we can spend all afternoon and all night together."
"That's too soon," she announced.
"Either way, I have to go to class, so that'd be a good time for you to give it a try."
"I don't know," she said looking away from him.
Wilson kissed her cheek. "You think about it then."
Mary did just that for a few minutes. "Would I have to go back to school then, too?"
"No, but…" Wilson started counting days. She had to go back before he had winter break in two weeks, otherwise it would be harder for her to leave him alone in the house. "Maybe Monday?"
"Whoa," was all Mary could say.
"I don't have any classes on Monday, I could drive you back in and get you situated."
"I-I-I" Mary stammered continuously. She was in state of shock. She never even considered going back to school. The thought of seeing all of those people and having to catch up on pretty much the entire years worth of work to date- she didn't think she could do it.
Wilson kissed her forehead. "Shh, it's OK sweetie. I didn't mean to get you all wound up." He pulled her head down to his chest and she snuggled into him. Mary wanted to tell Wilson that she wasn't ready to leave him, but she didn't want to come off as being too dependant on him, even if that was the truth.
Then the next day after a talk with Wilson, Matt comes with a surprise for him and Mary- a birth certificate. They had a girl. Mary is so overwhelmed with emotions that she up and forgets about how mad she was at Matt and forgives him. Everyone is happy and the story ends.
Then, in kind of an epilogue fashion, 7 years later, Mary and Wilson are married. They are in the Camden house for a visit, and Mary tells Wilson some surprising news- she's pregnant. Wilson is ultimately overjoyed by the news, and Mary then allows herself to be as well.
End