A.N: So how'd ya like part 2?? Well here goes part 3. I'm not sure exactly
how many parts there'll be. it all depends on how many pages it turns out
to be typed. Ok so enjoy! Oh just one more thing, hehehe, the angry scene
where Harry picks Ginny up, well I'd like to thank Rhett Butler and
Scarlett O'Hara for their inspiring couple work. Margaret Mitchell, you've
truly inspired me for this scene ;) ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Recap: Ginny just gave Harry back her old engagement ring symbolizing they were over for good. Can Harry ever win her back? Will hearts be broken once more? Read on.)
The weeks dragged on for Harry. Even his fun job at Hogwarts couldn't make him happy anymore. He carried the ring around in his pocket constantly always playing with it in spare moments. It wasn't as if he had expected her to trust him right away, but giving him the ring was the worst possible damage she could ever have done to him. Harry walked around in a daze even when Ginny did keep true to her word and come for monthly, sometimes weekly, visits. Even though her smile could brighten him some, Harry sunk even deeper into his solemn state. When school was finally drawing towards a close Harry found himself feeling very relieved. His teaching had become less enthusiastic since when he had begun and everyone noticed it. Dumbledore had offered Harry a second year but Harry declined. He wasn't the only one who was miserable.
In the months since Christmas, Ginny hadn't been the same. She walked around in some sort of a stupor, refusing to tell anyone what had happened that night. No matter how hard her family tried to drag it out of her, Ginny couldn't bring herself to tell them that she had possibly lost her greatest love forever. It was the same thing every morning, fumbling hands struggled to button up whatever article of clothing she put on, eyes were red from crying, and a deep icy feeling in her heart told her she had messed up any chance of them forever. If the truth be told, Ginny didn't want to trust Harry with her heart again, but even distrust cannot always get rid of old feelings. Sometimes, even when we protest against it the most, the greatest kind of love is the love that dies hard.
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Harry sat on the edge of his bed one June evening playing with the ring, like usual. His brow was furrowed in thought as he remembered what exactly did happen that fateful July night.
* Flashback *
A 19-year-old Ginny sat on a sofa in the worn sitting room of the Burrow. She didn't know why she was here, nor why Harry had wanted to see her like this. Waiting, with a look of confusion and worry on her face, the young woman stood up and began pacing the floor rapidly. Head down and fingers nervously twitching, Ginny bumped right into the just apparated man, causing her to fall down on her rump. A nervous laugh was let out as a tall and thin man of his early twenties held out his hand to retrieve her from her fallen state. The red head looked to him expectantly, but he looked as nervous and worried as she. The room was dark as night, only a pale moon shining in. Ginny didn't have the heart to ruin the eerie effect of the moon dripping into the room.
Thoughts of regret and confusion poured through the young mans mind as he looked at his beautiful lady friend. He didn't know why he was going through with this, but when he saw his pale reflection in the darkening window, he screwed up his courage and looked her in the eye. He could see the look of confusion, it was etched all over her face; deciding not to look her in the eye, the fumbling man turned to the hearth, and pretended to study it with deep interest. He saw her playing with the ring on her finger absentmindedly and tears started to well in his eyes. He didn't know how to break the silence; he didn't know where to begin. Luckily for him, he wasn't the first to speak. His heart fluttered at the sound of her voice, causing him to wish there were some way around this.
"Harry, why won't you look at me? Did, did I do something wrong?" tears sounded in her voice as she said this.
"No Gin, never. You're perfect," He smiled weakly through his blurred vision.
"Then, I don't understand, why are you here? Did something happen to you?" a few confused tears stumbled down her smooth cheeks. It took every ounce of restraint left in Harry to not touch her soft face again and wipe away the tears. There would be no going through with this if he even so much as touched her.
"Gin. It's me, I'm, I'm no good for you." his voice broke slightly as he said this.
"Oh don't say that Harry, I love you, nothing else matters to me. I love you, do you hear me?" She almost shouted this as she rushed forward to embrace him, but he held her back.
"Oh God Harry, there's, there's blood all over, what is going on?" her face turned pale as she looked at him, the moon now making his image, and robes, more clear. Dark blood, still warm, covered his robes, and cuts and bruises could be seen on his face.
"Harry, what the hell is the matter with you?" asked a very confused Ginny.
"Gin," he took a small step forward, "Gin, I need to go away. I need you to understand that I'm sorry, and that I still love you. I am so sorry," He shook his head regretfully, then kissed the ashen faced Ginny softly, and stepped back. She stood there with a look of immense confusion and horror stuck on her face as if she couldn't believe or comprehend what the hell Harry was doing.
"I'm sorry." he said softly.
"Dammit Harry," she screamed, but then he was gone, and he saw no more. He wasn't there to feel a ring hit him smack in the forehead, he wasn't there to see a small body crumple up on the floor, sobs wracking through her, he wasn't there to explain why he left, he wasn't there to kiss away her worries, he was gone.
* End flashback. *
The young professor let that memory play through his head over and over again. No matter how many times he regretted it, he knew it had been for the best, even if his heart told him otherwise. He was no good for Ginny Weasley. He told himself that every night, causing his torment, if possible, to become even greater. You're a murderer Harry, a cheat Harry, a scoundrel Harry, a drunk Harry; he let these thoughts and names pour through his head, blinding him of the one thing that could cure his depression, love. It was true, he did love Ginny, more then he'd ever loved anyone, but it scared him to death. Somehow even when he hadn't doubted her affection for him, thoughts had poured into his mind about how unworthy he was of her. As Ginny and his renewed friendship once again drifted apart, Harry grew more and more reliant on alcohol to heal his hurts. Mrs. Weasley had offered Harry a spot at the Burrow over the summer, but in desperate need to get rid of some of his wealth, and not particularly keen in seeing Ginny for a long amount of time, Harry decided to travel Europe instead.
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Ireland was where Harry ended up first, but that lasted less then a week, seeing as there were too many pretty red heads to remind him of the one red head he wanted but couldn't have. Then came Spain, Switzerland, Romania, Hungary, Luxembourg and finally France. One day in southern France, Harry met a very pretty girl named Helene. After sharing many rounds of drinks and lots of flirtation, Harry invited her back to his hotel. Helene readily accepted. As soon as the door to the room closed, Helene flung herself on Harry, and he on her. Not being in his right mind (as they were both well beyond drunk), they quickly proceeded to the bedroom; where the happenings would not at all have pleased Ginny Weasley.
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A very wasted Harry awoke the next morning next to a very naked woman. Confused about why she was in his bed, Harry tried to think back to what had happened. As if it in the smacked in the face with a video of what happened last night, realization dawned on Harry causing his head to whirl, and thoughts of Ginny's disappointed face to come into view. Groaning and getting off the bed, much to the displeasure of his head, Harry began rapidly packing, deciding to take the cowardly way out of the problem. Leaving the room quietly, and hopping downstairs, Harry spoke to the concierge about the, err, situation upstairs, and left a very generous tip. Finding the nearest wizarding location possible, Harry decided the inevitable was going to have to happen. He was going to go back to the Burrow.
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Tossing a handful of floo powder into the flames that licked before him, Harry stepped in and practically shouted the Burrow. All too soon the nauseating feeling of being swirled around returned to him, it didn't help that he had a major hangover. Upon arrival at the Burrow kitchen, Harry promptly made his way out to the back garden and retched several times into a potted shrub. Walking weakly back into the kitchen, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, Harry noticed something he hadn't before (probably because he was in such haste). Ginny Weasley stood at the sink scrubbing some vegetables. The look of horror that had come on her face to have seen such a display was one that made Harry giggle (the effects of the alcohol not completely worn off). Ginny wondered in obvious confusion what had made Harry giggle. Seeing him sway lightly she took charge of the situation, in a motherly sort of way. Holding on to his shoulders gently she led him upstairs to Ron's old room, which was still brightly orange (a colour that did not help Harry's pounding head). She tucked him into bed giving him a little kiss on the forehead before she left. It was all very comforting to Harry, especially the kiss. He didn't speak at all, for his stomach still threatened to betray him if he did.
Much to his surprise, Harry awoke when it was dark out. Sensing that it couldn't be later then 8 o'clock, Harry trudged downstairs, the remnants of a headache still causing his head to pound every few steps. Finally, though the journey seemed an eternity to Harry's troubled head, he made it into the kitchen and plopped down into the first empty chair he spotted. Mrs. Weasley and Ginny had been in a heated chat about something, Harry suspected it was him, for they stopped talking as soon as he entered.
"Oh you poor dear, how about a nice hot cup of tea? Ginny dear put the kettle on." Mrs. Weasley got up and immediately began to get all sorts of trifles out, sandwiches, cheeses, crackers, tea, anything she thought would strike Harry's fancy right now. As Mrs. Weasley put a plate of various foods down before him, Harry had the sudden urge to get out to that pot again. Knocking over his chair in retreat, Harry made it outside just in time. Walking back inside and looking quite shaken, Harry made his chair right and then sat back down, pushing the food to the opposite side of the table.
"Oh dear, that won't do at all," Mrs. Weasley said as she scooped away the food, "let's just try with some tea first then, shall we?" She planted a hot cup of tea in front of Harry. Nothing had ever looked more inviting. Sipping the tea slowly, so as not to disrupt his stomach once again, Harry looked over at Ginny who was trying to look very interested in a bowl she happened to be scrubbing.
"Thanks for earlier Gin. wow I must have had too much to dr-, err I mean, traveling from France to Britain by floo can do nasty things to ones insides," 'Great cover idiot' Harry thought as looked again over towards Ginny. She was still scrubbing the bowl and with just as much "interest". He still reeked of alcohol, but he hadn't noticed until then.
"You can go take a shower if you want," it sounded more like a command then a suggestion the way Ginny said it. Harry gulped; she was definetly not pleased with him. Getting up, Harry saw the shocked look on Mrs. Weasley's face and knew exactly how she felt.
The cold water pouring over him did wonders for the remains of his headache. When his shower was over, Harry dried off, got dressed in some pajama bottoms and a robe, and headed downstairs, wondering if Ginny was still down there. Much to his luck, she was, and this time she wasn't scrubbing pots or pans but was sitting at the table, looking very troubled over a cup of tea. Her frown deepened as Harry entered. He took a seat across from her and just sat there in silence for a second.
"Gin. I, erm, get the feeling that maybe you're a bit mad at me?" Harry asked rather then said.
"How dare you show up here drunk Harry Potter? My mother may be blinded in her obsession over you, but some of us would have had the decency to not show up like, like that!" she was fuming now.
"Gin, I'm sorry." he said meekly.
"You should be," her glare was venomous. After saying that to him she got up angrily from the table and stormed out the back door. Deciding to take a bit of a risk, Harry quickly leapt up and followed her.
The wind was blowing harshly as Harry raced out into the night. He supposed that they were in for another harsh summer storm. Looking up at the night sky, the dark clouds rolling in confirmed his suspicions. Not wanting to leave his ladylove in the midst of a rainstorm, Harry looked around, almost frantically for her, and saw her walking angrily towards the orchards on the other side of the hedges. He started after her in a half run half jog. Seeing as she was no longer stomping furiously, Harry caught up to her quite quickly, and grabbed her arm, much to her fury.
"Why did you even bother to follow me out here Harry?" she asked angrily.
"Gin, if you haven't noticed we're in for a storm, come on back inside," he replied, starting to get very frustrated at her temper, which, even for a Weasley woman, could get set off quite easily.
"Oh well thanks for being so considerate," she said sarcastically, "but last time I checked I WAS a grown up and could make decisions for myself," she said while wrenching her arm away.
"Virginia Weasley, if you don't get inside this instant I will throw you over my shoulder and bring you back in. Don't test me either because last time I checked I was stronger then you!" his frustration had reached a boiling point. Flashing him a deadly glare, Ginny stood there firmly making no suggestion that she was moving any time soon.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you," and much to her protest (she could hit pretty hard for such a little woman,) Harry picked her up quite easily and threw her over his shoulder. Harry could hear her yelps and feel her flail about madly all the way back to the house, but it was lucky he had picked her up then, for right before they had made it to the door, the rain came down in bucketfuls. Amazingly though, both escaped the rain remarkably dry.
When finally inside the cover of the house, Harry set Ginny much to his relief and hers. He rubbed is back wincing a bit, like said earlier, Ginny had a nasty sting when she wanted to.
"Oy Gin, you really can hit hard. I pity your brothers immensely," he said this with a half grin half grimace on his face.
"You deserved every bit you got Harry Potter!" she stormed out of the room.
"Women," he muttered.
"I HEARD THAT!" she shouted from the stairs. Shaking his head with a chuckle, Harry headed upstairs also, thinking that perhaps sleeping all of that day's, and the previous days, happenings would be the best solution for both of them. Trudging once again into the orange room that had plagued his head so much earlier, Harry climbed into bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.
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Harry woke the next morning very early. It was still dark out when he got out of bed, but there was no use in trying to sleep anymore. Sneaking downstairs silently Harry made way to the kitchen without thinking. Putting some water in the kettle absentmindedly, Harry got a tin of hot cocoa out of a cupboard and put a few spoonfuls in a mug. When the water had boiled Harry poured some into the mug and stirred it, thoughts other then cocoa filling his mind. As it began to get lighter, Harry heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Judging from the lightness of them, he knew it must be Ginny. Sure enough, a minute later a very groggy looking Ginny entered the kitchen, scowling the moment she saw Harry. Returning her scowl with a mocking grin, he offered to make her some cocoa.
"I'm very capable myself, thank you," she retorted. Obviously the little sleep she had gotten (from the looks of it,) hadn't done her much good in forgetting the previous day.
"Good morning to you too." Harry said grinningly. As if not wanting to drop the subject, Ginny brought up a country that Harry was not too keen to discuss. "So I suppose France must have been very fun for you then." she said in a semi hurt voice.
"No not really," he said hoping she would drop the subject.
"Mmm. What were you doing there before you came?" She obviously wasn't going to give up that easy.
"Nothing really. Just exploring, erm, different, ahem, areas of France," he shifted nervously in his chair. Ginny must have suspected something but all she did was simply narrow her eyes.
"Fine then, but I know you're hiding something," she said and then turned away to start breakfast. 'Damn,' Harry thought, 'this girl knows me too good.'
'So then tell her the truth,' said another annoying voice.
'No way, she'll hate me,' replied Harry's own voice.
'She'll hate you worse if you wait. but whatever.' the voice went away.
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Breakfast was a relatively pleasant experience, considering the circumstances. Mr. Weasley managed to lighten the mood with his absurd questions about all kinds of muggle devices imaginable. Mrs. Weasley just sat there shaking her head in a silly way, but some people just don't change, and Mr. Weasley was one of them. After breakfast, with a peck on the check to Ginny and a peck on the lips to Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley left for work, still working the same job as always. Mrs. Weasley offered to do the dishes and shooed the two young people away good-naturedly when they offered to help. Not knowing what else to do, the two headed outside into the now bright morning.
Deciding silently to walk to the pond, the two uncomfortably started off together in that direction. Harry couldn't help but smile as he remembered all the times in the past they had walked to that pond together. He found himself grabbing her hand a bit nervously, and much to his pleasant surprise, she didn't wrench it away. She just looked at him curiously, and then walked on, still holding his hand. Memories of how they would sit together watching the sunset flooded his mind causing him to grin in remembrance. As they reached the pond, both seemed to have the same spot in mind, for the found themselves by a big, ever familiar, boulder that was perfect for leaning against and looking at the water. The two sat there in silence for a good couple of hours, leaning against each other, reminiscing about days not so long ago.
"Ginny, how'd I ever let you go?" Harry broke the silence awkwardly. Ginny didn't respond, she did, however, smile weakly through tears.
"How'd I ever let you leave?" She asked, her voice breaking softly. Harry looked down to see her beautiful face glistening with tears. He leaned down, as she looked up at him, and kissed her softly. Ginny struggled with herself, she had wanted this for so long, but she was confused. She didn't want to get hurt again, but she loved Harry so much. Even as she was thinking this, words from a strangely familiar song came to her..
" Are you gonna Live your life wonderin' Standing in the back Lookin' around? Are you gonna Waste your time Thinkin' how you've grown up Or how you missed out? Things are never gonna Be the way you want Where's it gonna Get you acting serious? Things are never gonna Be quite what you want Or even at 25 You gotta start sometime I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go Now all I need is just To hear a song I know I wanna always feel like Part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight"
After thinking about it a moment longer, she gave into her heart and kissed Harry back with all her being. After a few minutes of passionate kissing, the two broke apart, their breathing ragged from lack of air. Harry looked at her with a look that showed obvious longing. Ginny's pink cheeks flushed even more. Before she could stop herself, she found herself saying. "Are you sure you want to go down that road again Harry?" she was surprised at the words that seemed to just come out of no where.
"Ginny, I've waited 3 years to get you back, I'm not about to lose you again," and before she could answer him, he leaned down and kissed her again, his hand running through her long hair. The two were lost in each other from that moment on.
Mrs. Weasley grinned as she looked at the clock. It was 5 pm and the two still were gone. In a knowing way, she chuckled, and then began to prepare dinner, thinking they'd be hungry when they returned. Meanwhile.
Harry and Ginny lay there in the stillness of the afternoon. They fit together perfectly; Ginny with her head slightly on Harry's chest, Harry with is arms around her slender waist, both of them just enjoying the silence. Harry was startled a bit when Ginny sat up abruptly. She pulled her shirt back on and then looked at Harry seriously. Harry knew something was wrong to make her look at him like that. Sitting up also, Harry started to lean in to kiss her, thinking it would make her smile. Instead, she put up her hand and stopped him.
"Harry, don't," she said, but she didn't sound angry, yet.
"What? After. well you know what, you don't want me to kiss you? How can I contain myself! I finally get to be with a woman I love and I am not allowed to kiss her!?" Harry said all this in mock anger.
"A woman you love? Not the woman you love?" Harry knew he had messed up there.
"Gin you know you're the only woman I've ever loved," Harry said genuinely.
"But not made love to." Ginny said in realization.
"Gin, we're together now, we're happy, please don't let me lose you again," Harry sounded desperate now.
"Harry, were you with a woman the other night?" Ginny's eyes were filling quickly.
"Does it matter?" wrong again Harry.
"Yes," she said plainly, but she already knew the answer.
"Fine, yes Ginny I was. and yes, I slept with her, but I didn't love her. I love you, and you know that," Harry looked to her pleadingly.
"Harry, I, I think you should probably go now," a tear trickled down her cheek which she brushed abruptly away.
"Gin, no, no I can't lose you again, I'd go mad. Please Ginny, no," Harry looked as if he might cry also.
"Harry, just go." she said softly, without any trace of anger. What was worse though is she sounded disappointed; Harry couldn't stand to have her disappointed with him. Slowly, he rose from the ground, gathered his shirt and pants, put them on, and then stood there.
"Harry." she looked at him, not sobbing, just crying. Her face gave away her feelings. She wanted this just as much as him, but Harry had blown it. Taking that as his cue to leave, he walked slowly back to the burrow, cursing himself all the way.
Molly Weasley was curious as to why Harry was walking back alone to the Burrow. From the look on his face, she knew something was wrong.
"Harry dear, what's the matter?" She looked worried.
"Mrs. Weasley, to put it lightly, I just blew any chance of ever getting your daughter back. I'm sorry," he walked out of the kitchen with his brow furrowed in an angry way. Biting her lip, Molly looked to see if Ginny was coming back also, but after 10 minutes gave up looking out the window. Harry came back downstairs a bit later, trunk in tow, and with an envelope in his hand.
"Mrs. Weasley, you've always been like a mum to me, I'm grateful, I really am. Tell Ginny I love her, and, and would you give her this?" He handed her an envelope that had a slight lump in it. Mrs. Weasley simply nodded her head and bit back tears. She pulled Harry into a tight embrace before he stepped into the fire amidst the green flames (green from floo powder incase you're wondering). He looked down, shouted out the name of his flat, and was gone.
Half an hour later, Ginny came in, eyes red from crying, and headed straight for her mum. The two shared a tearful embrace, and then Ginny sat down to tell her mum the whole story. Both were in tears again at the end.
"Oh Ginny dear, I'm so so sorry," her mother truly looked sorry.
"Thanks mum, I just, I just thought it'd be different this time. We'd both grown up a bit, and well, I just thought he loved me. but I guess not," she looked downcast as she said that.
"Of course he loves you, he always will Gin. Love like you and Harry had won't die that easy," her mum got up to finish fixing dinner.
"Then why didn't he stay? Try and win me back?" Ginny looked truly distraught.
"Because he knew you'd need time," her mum eyed the mantel, "Oh Gin, I almost forgot, he left you this letter," she handed her daughter the lumpy envelope. Confused, Ginny tore it open and dumped out it's contents. She gasped a bit.
'My dearest Ginny,
god, you'll never know how much I love you. I love the way your hair falls onto your shoulders, I love the way the sun makes your eyes sparkle, I love the way your hand fits mine, I love everything about you. I'm sorry I was a selfish prat, and I hope in time that you'll learn to love and forgive me again. I want you to know first of all that I am sorry, even if you don't believe me now, please try to. Secondly, I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again. Lastly, I won't try and contact you for a while, I know you need time. I love you so much it hurts. I thought for a moment there that things would be back to the way they were, but it was again my folly that messed it up. Write to me when you can, I'll always remember what we had. God I'm horrible with words, but I love you so much, and I just don't know how to express it, I guess my gift will sum it up. Please don't try and return it to me, because I won't accept it. I love you.
~Harry'
And there, sitting on the edge of the table, was a very familiar, size 5, silver, diamond encrusted ring.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Recap: Ginny just gave Harry back her old engagement ring symbolizing they were over for good. Can Harry ever win her back? Will hearts be broken once more? Read on.)
The weeks dragged on for Harry. Even his fun job at Hogwarts couldn't make him happy anymore. He carried the ring around in his pocket constantly always playing with it in spare moments. It wasn't as if he had expected her to trust him right away, but giving him the ring was the worst possible damage she could ever have done to him. Harry walked around in a daze even when Ginny did keep true to her word and come for monthly, sometimes weekly, visits. Even though her smile could brighten him some, Harry sunk even deeper into his solemn state. When school was finally drawing towards a close Harry found himself feeling very relieved. His teaching had become less enthusiastic since when he had begun and everyone noticed it. Dumbledore had offered Harry a second year but Harry declined. He wasn't the only one who was miserable.
In the months since Christmas, Ginny hadn't been the same. She walked around in some sort of a stupor, refusing to tell anyone what had happened that night. No matter how hard her family tried to drag it out of her, Ginny couldn't bring herself to tell them that she had possibly lost her greatest love forever. It was the same thing every morning, fumbling hands struggled to button up whatever article of clothing she put on, eyes were red from crying, and a deep icy feeling in her heart told her she had messed up any chance of them forever. If the truth be told, Ginny didn't want to trust Harry with her heart again, but even distrust cannot always get rid of old feelings. Sometimes, even when we protest against it the most, the greatest kind of love is the love that dies hard.
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Harry sat on the edge of his bed one June evening playing with the ring, like usual. His brow was furrowed in thought as he remembered what exactly did happen that fateful July night.
* Flashback *
A 19-year-old Ginny sat on a sofa in the worn sitting room of the Burrow. She didn't know why she was here, nor why Harry had wanted to see her like this. Waiting, with a look of confusion and worry on her face, the young woman stood up and began pacing the floor rapidly. Head down and fingers nervously twitching, Ginny bumped right into the just apparated man, causing her to fall down on her rump. A nervous laugh was let out as a tall and thin man of his early twenties held out his hand to retrieve her from her fallen state. The red head looked to him expectantly, but he looked as nervous and worried as she. The room was dark as night, only a pale moon shining in. Ginny didn't have the heart to ruin the eerie effect of the moon dripping into the room.
Thoughts of regret and confusion poured through the young mans mind as he looked at his beautiful lady friend. He didn't know why he was going through with this, but when he saw his pale reflection in the darkening window, he screwed up his courage and looked her in the eye. He could see the look of confusion, it was etched all over her face; deciding not to look her in the eye, the fumbling man turned to the hearth, and pretended to study it with deep interest. He saw her playing with the ring on her finger absentmindedly and tears started to well in his eyes. He didn't know how to break the silence; he didn't know where to begin. Luckily for him, he wasn't the first to speak. His heart fluttered at the sound of her voice, causing him to wish there were some way around this.
"Harry, why won't you look at me? Did, did I do something wrong?" tears sounded in her voice as she said this.
"No Gin, never. You're perfect," He smiled weakly through his blurred vision.
"Then, I don't understand, why are you here? Did something happen to you?" a few confused tears stumbled down her smooth cheeks. It took every ounce of restraint left in Harry to not touch her soft face again and wipe away the tears. There would be no going through with this if he even so much as touched her.
"Gin. It's me, I'm, I'm no good for you." his voice broke slightly as he said this.
"Oh don't say that Harry, I love you, nothing else matters to me. I love you, do you hear me?" She almost shouted this as she rushed forward to embrace him, but he held her back.
"Oh God Harry, there's, there's blood all over, what is going on?" her face turned pale as she looked at him, the moon now making his image, and robes, more clear. Dark blood, still warm, covered his robes, and cuts and bruises could be seen on his face.
"Harry, what the hell is the matter with you?" asked a very confused Ginny.
"Gin," he took a small step forward, "Gin, I need to go away. I need you to understand that I'm sorry, and that I still love you. I am so sorry," He shook his head regretfully, then kissed the ashen faced Ginny softly, and stepped back. She stood there with a look of immense confusion and horror stuck on her face as if she couldn't believe or comprehend what the hell Harry was doing.
"I'm sorry." he said softly.
"Dammit Harry," she screamed, but then he was gone, and he saw no more. He wasn't there to feel a ring hit him smack in the forehead, he wasn't there to see a small body crumple up on the floor, sobs wracking through her, he wasn't there to explain why he left, he wasn't there to kiss away her worries, he was gone.
* End flashback. *
The young professor let that memory play through his head over and over again. No matter how many times he regretted it, he knew it had been for the best, even if his heart told him otherwise. He was no good for Ginny Weasley. He told himself that every night, causing his torment, if possible, to become even greater. You're a murderer Harry, a cheat Harry, a scoundrel Harry, a drunk Harry; he let these thoughts and names pour through his head, blinding him of the one thing that could cure his depression, love. It was true, he did love Ginny, more then he'd ever loved anyone, but it scared him to death. Somehow even when he hadn't doubted her affection for him, thoughts had poured into his mind about how unworthy he was of her. As Ginny and his renewed friendship once again drifted apart, Harry grew more and more reliant on alcohol to heal his hurts. Mrs. Weasley had offered Harry a spot at the Burrow over the summer, but in desperate need to get rid of some of his wealth, and not particularly keen in seeing Ginny for a long amount of time, Harry decided to travel Europe instead.
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Ireland was where Harry ended up first, but that lasted less then a week, seeing as there were too many pretty red heads to remind him of the one red head he wanted but couldn't have. Then came Spain, Switzerland, Romania, Hungary, Luxembourg and finally France. One day in southern France, Harry met a very pretty girl named Helene. After sharing many rounds of drinks and lots of flirtation, Harry invited her back to his hotel. Helene readily accepted. As soon as the door to the room closed, Helene flung herself on Harry, and he on her. Not being in his right mind (as they were both well beyond drunk), they quickly proceeded to the bedroom; where the happenings would not at all have pleased Ginny Weasley.
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A very wasted Harry awoke the next morning next to a very naked woman. Confused about why she was in his bed, Harry tried to think back to what had happened. As if it in the smacked in the face with a video of what happened last night, realization dawned on Harry causing his head to whirl, and thoughts of Ginny's disappointed face to come into view. Groaning and getting off the bed, much to the displeasure of his head, Harry began rapidly packing, deciding to take the cowardly way out of the problem. Leaving the room quietly, and hopping downstairs, Harry spoke to the concierge about the, err, situation upstairs, and left a very generous tip. Finding the nearest wizarding location possible, Harry decided the inevitable was going to have to happen. He was going to go back to the Burrow.
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Tossing a handful of floo powder into the flames that licked before him, Harry stepped in and practically shouted the Burrow. All too soon the nauseating feeling of being swirled around returned to him, it didn't help that he had a major hangover. Upon arrival at the Burrow kitchen, Harry promptly made his way out to the back garden and retched several times into a potted shrub. Walking weakly back into the kitchen, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, Harry noticed something he hadn't before (probably because he was in such haste). Ginny Weasley stood at the sink scrubbing some vegetables. The look of horror that had come on her face to have seen such a display was one that made Harry giggle (the effects of the alcohol not completely worn off). Ginny wondered in obvious confusion what had made Harry giggle. Seeing him sway lightly she took charge of the situation, in a motherly sort of way. Holding on to his shoulders gently she led him upstairs to Ron's old room, which was still brightly orange (a colour that did not help Harry's pounding head). She tucked him into bed giving him a little kiss on the forehead before she left. It was all very comforting to Harry, especially the kiss. He didn't speak at all, for his stomach still threatened to betray him if he did.
Much to his surprise, Harry awoke when it was dark out. Sensing that it couldn't be later then 8 o'clock, Harry trudged downstairs, the remnants of a headache still causing his head to pound every few steps. Finally, though the journey seemed an eternity to Harry's troubled head, he made it into the kitchen and plopped down into the first empty chair he spotted. Mrs. Weasley and Ginny had been in a heated chat about something, Harry suspected it was him, for they stopped talking as soon as he entered.
"Oh you poor dear, how about a nice hot cup of tea? Ginny dear put the kettle on." Mrs. Weasley got up and immediately began to get all sorts of trifles out, sandwiches, cheeses, crackers, tea, anything she thought would strike Harry's fancy right now. As Mrs. Weasley put a plate of various foods down before him, Harry had the sudden urge to get out to that pot again. Knocking over his chair in retreat, Harry made it outside just in time. Walking back inside and looking quite shaken, Harry made his chair right and then sat back down, pushing the food to the opposite side of the table.
"Oh dear, that won't do at all," Mrs. Weasley said as she scooped away the food, "let's just try with some tea first then, shall we?" She planted a hot cup of tea in front of Harry. Nothing had ever looked more inviting. Sipping the tea slowly, so as not to disrupt his stomach once again, Harry looked over at Ginny who was trying to look very interested in a bowl she happened to be scrubbing.
"Thanks for earlier Gin. wow I must have had too much to dr-, err I mean, traveling from France to Britain by floo can do nasty things to ones insides," 'Great cover idiot' Harry thought as looked again over towards Ginny. She was still scrubbing the bowl and with just as much "interest". He still reeked of alcohol, but he hadn't noticed until then.
"You can go take a shower if you want," it sounded more like a command then a suggestion the way Ginny said it. Harry gulped; she was definetly not pleased with him. Getting up, Harry saw the shocked look on Mrs. Weasley's face and knew exactly how she felt.
The cold water pouring over him did wonders for the remains of his headache. When his shower was over, Harry dried off, got dressed in some pajama bottoms and a robe, and headed downstairs, wondering if Ginny was still down there. Much to his luck, she was, and this time she wasn't scrubbing pots or pans but was sitting at the table, looking very troubled over a cup of tea. Her frown deepened as Harry entered. He took a seat across from her and just sat there in silence for a second.
"Gin. I, erm, get the feeling that maybe you're a bit mad at me?" Harry asked rather then said.
"How dare you show up here drunk Harry Potter? My mother may be blinded in her obsession over you, but some of us would have had the decency to not show up like, like that!" she was fuming now.
"Gin, I'm sorry." he said meekly.
"You should be," her glare was venomous. After saying that to him she got up angrily from the table and stormed out the back door. Deciding to take a bit of a risk, Harry quickly leapt up and followed her.
The wind was blowing harshly as Harry raced out into the night. He supposed that they were in for another harsh summer storm. Looking up at the night sky, the dark clouds rolling in confirmed his suspicions. Not wanting to leave his ladylove in the midst of a rainstorm, Harry looked around, almost frantically for her, and saw her walking angrily towards the orchards on the other side of the hedges. He started after her in a half run half jog. Seeing as she was no longer stomping furiously, Harry caught up to her quite quickly, and grabbed her arm, much to her fury.
"Why did you even bother to follow me out here Harry?" she asked angrily.
"Gin, if you haven't noticed we're in for a storm, come on back inside," he replied, starting to get very frustrated at her temper, which, even for a Weasley woman, could get set off quite easily.
"Oh well thanks for being so considerate," she said sarcastically, "but last time I checked I WAS a grown up and could make decisions for myself," she said while wrenching her arm away.
"Virginia Weasley, if you don't get inside this instant I will throw you over my shoulder and bring you back in. Don't test me either because last time I checked I was stronger then you!" his frustration had reached a boiling point. Flashing him a deadly glare, Ginny stood there firmly making no suggestion that she was moving any time soon.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you," and much to her protest (she could hit pretty hard for such a little woman,) Harry picked her up quite easily and threw her over his shoulder. Harry could hear her yelps and feel her flail about madly all the way back to the house, but it was lucky he had picked her up then, for right before they had made it to the door, the rain came down in bucketfuls. Amazingly though, both escaped the rain remarkably dry.
When finally inside the cover of the house, Harry set Ginny much to his relief and hers. He rubbed is back wincing a bit, like said earlier, Ginny had a nasty sting when she wanted to.
"Oy Gin, you really can hit hard. I pity your brothers immensely," he said this with a half grin half grimace on his face.
"You deserved every bit you got Harry Potter!" she stormed out of the room.
"Women," he muttered.
"I HEARD THAT!" she shouted from the stairs. Shaking his head with a chuckle, Harry headed upstairs also, thinking that perhaps sleeping all of that day's, and the previous days, happenings would be the best solution for both of them. Trudging once again into the orange room that had plagued his head so much earlier, Harry climbed into bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.
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Harry woke the next morning very early. It was still dark out when he got out of bed, but there was no use in trying to sleep anymore. Sneaking downstairs silently Harry made way to the kitchen without thinking. Putting some water in the kettle absentmindedly, Harry got a tin of hot cocoa out of a cupboard and put a few spoonfuls in a mug. When the water had boiled Harry poured some into the mug and stirred it, thoughts other then cocoa filling his mind. As it began to get lighter, Harry heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Judging from the lightness of them, he knew it must be Ginny. Sure enough, a minute later a very groggy looking Ginny entered the kitchen, scowling the moment she saw Harry. Returning her scowl with a mocking grin, he offered to make her some cocoa.
"I'm very capable myself, thank you," she retorted. Obviously the little sleep she had gotten (from the looks of it,) hadn't done her much good in forgetting the previous day.
"Good morning to you too." Harry said grinningly. As if not wanting to drop the subject, Ginny brought up a country that Harry was not too keen to discuss. "So I suppose France must have been very fun for you then." she said in a semi hurt voice.
"No not really," he said hoping she would drop the subject.
"Mmm. What were you doing there before you came?" She obviously wasn't going to give up that easy.
"Nothing really. Just exploring, erm, different, ahem, areas of France," he shifted nervously in his chair. Ginny must have suspected something but all she did was simply narrow her eyes.
"Fine then, but I know you're hiding something," she said and then turned away to start breakfast. 'Damn,' Harry thought, 'this girl knows me too good.'
'So then tell her the truth,' said another annoying voice.
'No way, she'll hate me,' replied Harry's own voice.
'She'll hate you worse if you wait. but whatever.' the voice went away.
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Breakfast was a relatively pleasant experience, considering the circumstances. Mr. Weasley managed to lighten the mood with his absurd questions about all kinds of muggle devices imaginable. Mrs. Weasley just sat there shaking her head in a silly way, but some people just don't change, and Mr. Weasley was one of them. After breakfast, with a peck on the check to Ginny and a peck on the lips to Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley left for work, still working the same job as always. Mrs. Weasley offered to do the dishes and shooed the two young people away good-naturedly when they offered to help. Not knowing what else to do, the two headed outside into the now bright morning.
Deciding silently to walk to the pond, the two uncomfortably started off together in that direction. Harry couldn't help but smile as he remembered all the times in the past they had walked to that pond together. He found himself grabbing her hand a bit nervously, and much to his pleasant surprise, she didn't wrench it away. She just looked at him curiously, and then walked on, still holding his hand. Memories of how they would sit together watching the sunset flooded his mind causing him to grin in remembrance. As they reached the pond, both seemed to have the same spot in mind, for the found themselves by a big, ever familiar, boulder that was perfect for leaning against and looking at the water. The two sat there in silence for a good couple of hours, leaning against each other, reminiscing about days not so long ago.
"Ginny, how'd I ever let you go?" Harry broke the silence awkwardly. Ginny didn't respond, she did, however, smile weakly through tears.
"How'd I ever let you leave?" She asked, her voice breaking softly. Harry looked down to see her beautiful face glistening with tears. He leaned down, as she looked up at him, and kissed her softly. Ginny struggled with herself, she had wanted this for so long, but she was confused. She didn't want to get hurt again, but she loved Harry so much. Even as she was thinking this, words from a strangely familiar song came to her..
" Are you gonna Live your life wonderin' Standing in the back Lookin' around? Are you gonna Waste your time Thinkin' how you've grown up Or how you missed out? Things are never gonna Be the way you want Where's it gonna Get you acting serious? Things are never gonna Be quite what you want Or even at 25 You gotta start sometime I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go Now all I need is just To hear a song I know I wanna always feel like Part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight"
After thinking about it a moment longer, she gave into her heart and kissed Harry back with all her being. After a few minutes of passionate kissing, the two broke apart, their breathing ragged from lack of air. Harry looked at her with a look that showed obvious longing. Ginny's pink cheeks flushed even more. Before she could stop herself, she found herself saying. "Are you sure you want to go down that road again Harry?" she was surprised at the words that seemed to just come out of no where.
"Ginny, I've waited 3 years to get you back, I'm not about to lose you again," and before she could answer him, he leaned down and kissed her again, his hand running through her long hair. The two were lost in each other from that moment on.
Mrs. Weasley grinned as she looked at the clock. It was 5 pm and the two still were gone. In a knowing way, she chuckled, and then began to prepare dinner, thinking they'd be hungry when they returned. Meanwhile.
Harry and Ginny lay there in the stillness of the afternoon. They fit together perfectly; Ginny with her head slightly on Harry's chest, Harry with is arms around her slender waist, both of them just enjoying the silence. Harry was startled a bit when Ginny sat up abruptly. She pulled her shirt back on and then looked at Harry seriously. Harry knew something was wrong to make her look at him like that. Sitting up also, Harry started to lean in to kiss her, thinking it would make her smile. Instead, she put up her hand and stopped him.
"Harry, don't," she said, but she didn't sound angry, yet.
"What? After. well you know what, you don't want me to kiss you? How can I contain myself! I finally get to be with a woman I love and I am not allowed to kiss her!?" Harry said all this in mock anger.
"A woman you love? Not the woman you love?" Harry knew he had messed up there.
"Gin you know you're the only woman I've ever loved," Harry said genuinely.
"But not made love to." Ginny said in realization.
"Gin, we're together now, we're happy, please don't let me lose you again," Harry sounded desperate now.
"Harry, were you with a woman the other night?" Ginny's eyes were filling quickly.
"Does it matter?" wrong again Harry.
"Yes," she said plainly, but she already knew the answer.
"Fine, yes Ginny I was. and yes, I slept with her, but I didn't love her. I love you, and you know that," Harry looked to her pleadingly.
"Harry, I, I think you should probably go now," a tear trickled down her cheek which she brushed abruptly away.
"Gin, no, no I can't lose you again, I'd go mad. Please Ginny, no," Harry looked as if he might cry also.
"Harry, just go." she said softly, without any trace of anger. What was worse though is she sounded disappointed; Harry couldn't stand to have her disappointed with him. Slowly, he rose from the ground, gathered his shirt and pants, put them on, and then stood there.
"Harry." she looked at him, not sobbing, just crying. Her face gave away her feelings. She wanted this just as much as him, but Harry had blown it. Taking that as his cue to leave, he walked slowly back to the burrow, cursing himself all the way.
Molly Weasley was curious as to why Harry was walking back alone to the Burrow. From the look on his face, she knew something was wrong.
"Harry dear, what's the matter?" She looked worried.
"Mrs. Weasley, to put it lightly, I just blew any chance of ever getting your daughter back. I'm sorry," he walked out of the kitchen with his brow furrowed in an angry way. Biting her lip, Molly looked to see if Ginny was coming back also, but after 10 minutes gave up looking out the window. Harry came back downstairs a bit later, trunk in tow, and with an envelope in his hand.
"Mrs. Weasley, you've always been like a mum to me, I'm grateful, I really am. Tell Ginny I love her, and, and would you give her this?" He handed her an envelope that had a slight lump in it. Mrs. Weasley simply nodded her head and bit back tears. She pulled Harry into a tight embrace before he stepped into the fire amidst the green flames (green from floo powder incase you're wondering). He looked down, shouted out the name of his flat, and was gone.
Half an hour later, Ginny came in, eyes red from crying, and headed straight for her mum. The two shared a tearful embrace, and then Ginny sat down to tell her mum the whole story. Both were in tears again at the end.
"Oh Ginny dear, I'm so so sorry," her mother truly looked sorry.
"Thanks mum, I just, I just thought it'd be different this time. We'd both grown up a bit, and well, I just thought he loved me. but I guess not," she looked downcast as she said that.
"Of course he loves you, he always will Gin. Love like you and Harry had won't die that easy," her mum got up to finish fixing dinner.
"Then why didn't he stay? Try and win me back?" Ginny looked truly distraught.
"Because he knew you'd need time," her mum eyed the mantel, "Oh Gin, I almost forgot, he left you this letter," she handed her daughter the lumpy envelope. Confused, Ginny tore it open and dumped out it's contents. She gasped a bit.
'My dearest Ginny,
god, you'll never know how much I love you. I love the way your hair falls onto your shoulders, I love the way the sun makes your eyes sparkle, I love the way your hand fits mine, I love everything about you. I'm sorry I was a selfish prat, and I hope in time that you'll learn to love and forgive me again. I want you to know first of all that I am sorry, even if you don't believe me now, please try to. Secondly, I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again. Lastly, I won't try and contact you for a while, I know you need time. I love you so much it hurts. I thought for a moment there that things would be back to the way they were, but it was again my folly that messed it up. Write to me when you can, I'll always remember what we had. God I'm horrible with words, but I love you so much, and I just don't know how to express it, I guess my gift will sum it up. Please don't try and return it to me, because I won't accept it. I love you.
~Harry'
And there, sitting on the edge of the table, was a very familiar, size 5, silver, diamond encrusted ring.
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