Ten Things
Chapter 6 – The Way You Read My Mind
Alternate Title – Heero's Secrets
By: Eternal Rose
Heero sat silently in his darkened room. His infamous laptop was once again open before, but his fingers no longer flickered swiftly across its keys. Instead, he stared motionlessly at a single image on the screen. A lost expression clouded his generally calm façade, and his eyes closed. It was only here, in the echoing silence of an empty room, that Heero could allow his inner self to open – only far away from the prying eyes of others, even those of his friends.
The other pilots were friends, for truly, in his heart, that was how he thought of them. Relena… she may have been even more. Still, how could he tell any of them that? After what had happened, Heero doubted he would ever be willing to share a strong degree of closeness again.
Creak!
Heero looked up as the door opened, one hand springing to the top of the screen and pulling it down. The carefully constructed expression of emptiness filled his face once more, his hand reaching back to grasp his gun and point it at the intruder. His index finger wrapped around the trigger and pulled back so the hammer was cocked just enough that at the slightest movement it would go off.
Duo walked through the door.
Heero glared fiercely at the braided moron who had come up short upon seeing Heero with the gun. Was the man incompetent? He knew all too well that Duo had followed him out into the garden, had realized it as soon as he saw… her. Duo rolled his eyes and leaned against the door frame, watching Heero carefully until he slowly lowered the gun and glanced away. Heero turned back to his laptop and opened it, looking at the default image that appeared whenever he shut it rapidly. He quickly opened a file and began typing, ignoring his fellow pilot as best as possible.
"You can't hide it from her forever, you know." Duo said suddenly. Heero sat up ramrod straight, then shook his head and resumed typing without sparing Duo so much as a glance.
"Relena's not stupid, Heero." The voice continued. "She's bound to find out eventually, and you know it. She's already realized something's up, and you can be damn sure that she won't give up on you. I don't really know what she sees in you, man, but whatever it is has got her hooked on you. And you, buddy – you're hooked on her."
Heero grunted and glared at the screen, still refusing to look at the source of the annoying sound filling his ears. His head shook in unequivocal denial of the words.
"Maybe you don't show it so much, but it's still true." Duo continued. "Like it or not, you feel for her. That's not such a bad thing, either. What's bad here is that you keep trying to deny it. But we both know better. We both know the real reason you think you shouldn't be with her is because – "
The gun was back again. Pointing it threateningly at Duo, Heero rose to his feet with an expression of such extreme emotion as had never been seen there before by his fellow pilot. Duo unconsciously drew himself up straight.
"Listen, Heero," Duo said, moving his arms defensively in front of himself. "Don't take this the wrong way. I'm just – "
"Just what? There is no wrong way to take this, 02." Heero said. The fierceness in his eyes had not abated, and they seemed to glow with the internal fire of his anger. "This conversation is meaningless. Leave now."
"Meaningless, huh, Heero?" Duo shook his head in disbelief. "I'm just trying to help. All I want is to see the two of you happy together."
"I don't know what happiness is. I can't feel it. All I can do is fight." Heero said. "I'm warning you, 02. Leave."
"No, Heero." Duo said. His eyes narrowed at Wing's pilot, the guise of the joker falling from his face. "I'm not going to let you ruin both of your lives. If not for youself, then admit your feelings for her. Things can't go on this way. Samantha wouldn't have wanted –"
BANG!
Duo dodged to his right, deeper into the room, as a bullet drove itself straight into the wall directly behind the place where his head had been moments before. Heero's body trembled, his face contorted into a horrible expression. It had been a warning shot, that was clear enough by the fact that Duo wasn't bleeding yet, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that he'd start soon.
"Heero –"
"No, Duo." Heero said, taking aim once more. "Never again."
"But Heero – " The hammer on the gun started to pull back again, and Duo shook his head in silent acquiescence. "Whatever, man."
"Is everything all right, Duo? Heero?" Quatre said, coming into the doorway. Trowa flipped in through the window, and Wufei came up beside Quatre. We thought we heard gunfire."
Heero said nothing, but slowly lowered his gun so that it rested by his side momentarily before disappearing into spandex space. His face hidden once more behind its carefully constructed mask, he returned to sitting carefully in front of his laptop. It opened once more, and he immediately began typing furiously.
Duo, in the meantime, had haphazardly picked himself up from the floor, and gone to stand between Wufei and Quatre. Trowa, recognizing that there was no imminent danger, went to join them. Duo cast one last look at Heero, tossing his long, floating braid over his shoulder. The other three pilots focused on him.
"Heero." Duo said. When no response came, he shook his head. "Whatever man, just remember this. If you don't tell her soon, and she asks me, I'm not gonna lie to her. I may run or hide for a while, but we both know I don't lie. Not for anyone. Not even you."
"Get out." Heero said, his hands frozen on the keyboard. He raised his head and glared fiercely at them all. "Get. Out."
"Ne, catch you later, man!" Duo said as he turned and walked out of the room, throwing an arm around Quatre to guide him along. Wufei and Trowa both cast odd glances at Heero, then followed their fellow pilots. Duo immediately started a vibrant, lively dialogue that Heero could here even from behind the door Trowa had closed once more. At long last, silence reigned throughout the room.
"Damn him!" Heero growled, striking his fist against the desk in front of him. His fingers flew across the keyboard, entering password after password. Clearing screens quickly, checking once more to make sure that there were no back routes, no way for anyone to hack into his system. Heero was one of the best hackers in the world, and there was no way in hell he'd let someone out do him and get into this part of the system. No one could ever know what existed here. It was bad enough that Duo had already discovered his secret, and that had, admittedly, been more by accident than by design. Relena unsettled him, and Duo had been amazingly lucky and managed to catch him in a moment of weakness after an encounter with her. He would never let it happen again. Never.
Finally, at long last, he reached the hidden part of his mainframe, a sub-system buried as deep as he could force it down… and her image appeared once more on his screen. Samantha. It was a name he heard in his most pleasant dreams, a face he saw in his worst nightmares. Her resplendent blond hair brushed her waist, the simple brown skirt and graceful emerald shirt flattering her figure. Her beautiful crystallic blue eyes glowed at him from the monitor, her entire face lit with the laughter that was hinted at by her gorgeous smile. A hand came up to brush the screen as Heero allowed his thoughts to trail backward in time.
~* Flashback *~
"Heero!" Her musical voice filled his ears as he finally found her in the massive crowd at the airport. She ran and hugged him, and he spun her around in a circle before landing her on her delicate little feet.
"Samantha." A twelve year old Heero breathed her name, brushing her cheeks with a light kiss. "How was the trip to Spain?"
"It was amazing Heero! I had so much fun, I can't even tell you. I saw all sorts of things, like the Prada, and the statues based on La Mancha, and the food was unbelievable and just… oh!" She paused to take a deep breath, her face lit with the delight of remembered pleasures. "It was so wonderful. Thank you for convincing Papa to let me go!"
"Of course, Samantha." Heero said, smilingly in a joy that came as a natural response to the expression on her face. Dr. J's daughter had always been one of his favorite people, the only person even close to his age at the complex. When his harder earlier years had beaten him down and forced him into a nearly emotionless state, she had brought him the joy and simple, child-like happiness that he had needed. He pulled a camera out of his pocket. "Smile!"
"Cheeeeese!" She said, flashing him a cheerful grin. Heero snapped the picture, and then quickly hid the camera. J had never been happy about their friendship, but he seemed to accept it well enough. Heero just had to be careful about showing too much attachment whenever J was around. Taking pictures of her would definitely be considered too much attachment.
Samantha giggled, smiling at Heero. Her eyes then lit even brighter as she recognized another man coming up behind him. He nodded to her, and she gave him a conspiratorial wink, grabbing Heero's arm. He immediately began dragging her towards the exit, the man lingering nearby the two until they were outside. He got into the front seat of the car, and the two took the rear.
~* Outside Flashback *~
Heero closed his eyes. The day had been wonderful. It had been a hard two weeks without her constant cheer to buoy his spirits after a day at lessons with her father. He could still remember the scent of the slightly older girl's perfume, a sweet smelling violet that clung to her hair and filled his nose when he had hugged her.
He almost couldn't stand to think of what came next. Almost. But not remembering would not make it any less the truth of that day. Forgetting would only allow it to happen again, and he would never let that happen. Never again.
~* Flashback *~
"Hi, daddy!" Samantha said as soon as the doors were closed. J nodded at her enigmatically, and pulled away from the curb. "The trip was wonderful! I really think it's the best time I've ever had away from home. Maybe next time you and Heero should come with me!"
"Maybe." Dr. J said. Heero's eyes brightened before he could stop them, and he knew in a flash of clarity that J had seen his expression. Still, no real harm would come of it. He'd just have to work extra hard at lessons. Nothing awful.
For most of the rest of the car ride, Samantha had kept up her cheerful, if one-sided, conversation. Heero basked in her glow, delighting in having his best friend and almost sister beside him once more. Then, in a single instant, the entire world changed.
They had pulled up to a stop light. Heero's attention had been on Samantha, his seat belt on as per J's instructions. He didn't see it until too late. Missed the flash of silver that would have warned him of J's intentions, hadn't been fast enough.
A small spurt of fire showed itself briefly in the car before Samantha's head erupted in blood. Her speech cut off abruptly, and silence filled the car. Heero watched in slow motion as her head pitched backwards before her whole body fell forwards, sagging against the seatbelt. She was dead in an instant that seemed a millennia long. Horrified, Heero turned to look at Dr. J.
"Don't get attached." Was all the man said before putting the gun down and stepping on the accelerator as the light turned green.
~* End Flashback *~
"Damn him!" Heero repeated, and as he said it, he realized he no longer knew whether he meant Duo or J. "Damn him, damn him, damn him!"
The words became a chant, increasing in volume as Heero allowed the pain of her death to fully fill him for the first time in many years. He had hidden it well until she came into his life. Relena, whose blonde hair fell to her waist, with eyes of crystal blue and a smile that had enough warmth for the world. How dare she…
Heero's arm suddenly lashed out and shoved the computer from the desk, ignoring the loud sound it made as it crashed down. He overturned the table and stood there, shaking in rage, repeating softly once more the words that filled his being.
"Damn him."
~*End Chapter 6 *~
Heehee, I told you it would be interesting! Do I deliver, or what? ^-^
Reviews always appreciated, but none required. It is nice to know what ya'll are thinking, though. ^^;;;;
Anyways, next chapter'll be up whenever I get around to it, so probably soon. Sooner if the muses strike me and force me to do their bidding, but we'll see. (*Mini Heero comes along and whacks Rose*) Ow! See what I mean? It's all their fault!
Hugs and Chocolate,
~Rose