Last Chapter:

Sesshoumaru ignored the wind user as she blew away. He pulled Kagome's blood soaked hair away from her face, her stillness and chill confirming what he already knew. She was dead. He heard Jaken rushing up behind him, and fought off his lingering bloodlust, growling to make sure the toad stayed back. "Jaken, go and find Rin. Bring her back here safely, but don't let her see what happened here." He heard Jaken rush away, frantically searching.

'I've failed,' he thought disbelievingly to himself. 'I allowed this to happen.' The severity of her wounds inflamed him. He wanted to destroy some more, wanted to see Naraku's head roll. But more than that, he wanted her to sit up. He wanted to hear her strange laugh and nonsensical words. He wanted to clean her wounds and wash away the blood until no reminders of the battle remained. And maybe, if she were alive, she would be compassionate enough to forgive him.

He stood over her broken body, Tenseiga drawn. 'If I fail now,' he thought, 'then I've already lost her.'

Chapter 15: Something's changed

Sesshoumaru had a white-knuckled grip on Tenseiga's hilt. More than ever, the sword needed to obey him. His heart sounded loud in his own ears as he anxiously hoped and waited for the sword's power to rise. Surely it would be eager to resurrect the girl.

The blade remained unresponsive in his hand. "No," he said in denial. He looked down anxiously at Kagome's decimated form. She seemed even smaller like that, her dark features a sharp contrast to the brightly glistening blood. It was repulsive to think that something so beautiful and pure could be torn apart so carelessly by those revolting berserk demons. For the first time in his life, his simply wanted to heal, wanted to restore the vitality that had been so violently ripped from her.

Sesshoumaru felt a warm tremor run through his body. Tenseiga was responding to him. The blade glowed fervently, its light seemed to soften the bloody scene before him. It felt different than the other times he had used Tenseiga. This time he had truly willed the sword to life, and the sensation was much more personal. He could see them now, the scavengers of dead souls, trying to take Kagome away from him. There were more than he had ever seen before. Apparently, the girl's soul was a big job. Even so, they appeared to be having a difficult time. Her soul was trying its hardest to resist them. 'Good girl,' thought Sesshoumaru slicing cleanly through the many impish bodies lingering on and near her.

The last destroyed, Kagome jerked and rasped, struggling to draw breath. Sesshoumaru allowed himself to feel some relief as he rolled her on her side so she could cough the blood clear from her throat. He held her hair back as she continued to hack and sputter, feeling her wounds close under his hand supporting her. Gradually, she stopped her coughing and started to greedily suck in oxygen again.

"Sesshou...maru," she said panting. "Next time...I'm walking...with you." He was shocked to see the little ironic smile pulling at her lips as she wiped some of the blood on her face with the back of her arm.

Sesshoumaru startled her by pulling her into his arms and lifting her against his chest. "Yes, you are," he said seriously. He leaned down and put his lips to hers in a swift but gentle gesture. Kagome's eyes widened in amazement, Sesshoumaru was really kissing her. His smooth lips were delicately exploring her own, slowly and deliberately. Kagome wrapped one hand loosely behind his neck, letting her eyes drift shut. She felt his long hair brush against her arms, sending shivers down her spine. She let her mind shut down, lost in Sesshoumaru's tender attention.

He pulled back slowly, raising his eyes to hers. "Forgive me," he said simply.

From the intent look on his face and the fact that they were still only inches apart, she assumed he was not talking about the kiss. "For what?" she asked softly.

"For failing to protect you."

"There is nothing to forgive," she whispered. He remained frozen over her, waiting.

Kagome sighed. "All right, I forgive you."

He smiled a little and resumed the kiss. She truly was a one of a kind creature.

Sesshoumaru reveled in the warmth of her lips, warming even more as he lingered over her. The taste of her blood still lingered around her mouth, which disturbed him and reminded him of his mistake. Her own sweet flavor was there, though, underlying it and growing stronger. He concentrated on kissing her slowly, grateful he had not lost the opportunity to do this. It felt so right, the sweet-tasting girl timidly returning his soft kiss, her fingers resting willingly on the back of his neck.

He pulled his face back a few inches, breathing her in and watching her face. Her eyes opened languidly, dark bottomless pools. There was some kind of thirst in them, but also a look of peace, as if she had finally found a small piece of salvation after so much pain.

Sesshoumaru's eyes had never looked like this before. Somehow, she could read every emotion in those eyes she had once thought were formed of ice. She could see his regret, his guilt. Compassion flashed in golden bubbles, concern flooded his pale irises. And underneath it all, an intense feeling she was too frightened to identify.

She shivered.

Her shivering reminded Sesshoumaru that she was still in wet and shredded clothes, the cool breeze was probably much too cold for her as she was. It was important he got her clean and warm again. Besides, the heavy scent of her blood was setting him on edge. He could see Jaken enter the flattened battlefield with Rin now. The little girl looked alright, if a little frightened. He would have to move them away from here in the first place. He continued to carry Kagome as he led Rin to mount Ah-Un. He leaned Kagome, who looked a little dizzy, against the dragon and retrieved the Tetsusaiga from where he had let it fall. On the way back, he spotted Kagome's bow, broken into several pieces on the ground. She had been brave to defend herself and Rin, even though she had no hope to defeat that swarm on her own. He was glad he had given it to her.

Kagome gave him an inquisitive look as he replaced the sword back in the scabbard next to her.

"You can touch Tetsusaiga," she stated plainly.

He swept his eyes up to hers. "It accepted me. Without it, I could not have broken through. I do not understand it myself." He was surprised at his own expressive honesty.

"Your father used it, I've been told, and he was a full youkai." Her eyes softened for Sesshoumaru. "Myouga once said that its power was drawn out by the wielder's desire to protect humans. I had always supposed your father was the one who put all the chips and nicks into that blade. Inuyasha's mother must have needed a lot of protection." She smiled a little.

She was right, Sesshoumaru thought. It was no small thing for the Lord of the West to take a human mate. It had brought his father more danger and fewer allies.

Sesshoumaru replaced Toukijin in his belt and scooped Kagome back up to carry her. He felt reassured with her in his arms, certain there was nothing that could harm her as long as she stayed there. For a moment, he wondered if this is what his father had felt, if this was what had driven him to commission the creation of the fang swords. Kagome didn't squirm, but she did speak. "I can walk you know. I feel all right."

"No," he told her, "you'll get cold and sick. Also, I'd like to put some distance behind us before the sun goes down."

She decided to accept his answer. "Where are we going?" she asked, burrowing in against him. The wind was chilly.

"A lake I know of, it will not be long. You may sleep if you like."

Kagome closed her eyes, but found her thoughts to turbulent for sleep. She could still feel Sesshoumaru's lips on hers, and being so close to him wasn't helping at all. Even with her eyes closed, his closeness and distinct scent was comforting. A little too comforting. She thought solemnly about Inuyasha. They had never been so intimate, he had always been too uncertain, and she had always imagined herself in Kikyou's shadow until it was too late. She said she had loved him, and she meant it. Did it make her a horrible person to want to be near Sesshoumaru now? And how disgraceful was it that she wanted Sesshoumaru to kiss her again?

Kagome had managed to drift asleep when Sesshoumaru arrived at the lake. He had sent Jaken to find replacements for Kagome's clothing, and since this task required Ah-Un and was likely to involve food, Rin had chosen to go with him. Dusk was approaching rapidly as he stood on the lake shore. He was hesitant to wake her, she looked so peaceful and relaxed, but the smell of her blood was driving him crazy. He gently jostled her comfortable position and whispered her name.

Kagome's eyes fluttered open. "Are we there?"

Sesshoumaru nodded in response and set her slowly on her feet. "We have to get you out of those clothes and clean before the sun goes down."

Kagome could see at least two problems with this scenario. One, she wasn't sure she was comfortable with Sesshoumaru standing there while she bathed, and two, she didn't really have anything else to wear.

Sesshoumaru watched her stand there like a deer in the headlights for a moment, smiling to himself. "If you're not going to move, I'll have to help you." Kagome's eyes widened as he removed his armor and set his swords and haori aside, and she took an uncertain step backwards. He smiled again as he picked her up and waded out into the water.

When they were a little more than waist deep, he stopped. "This is going to be cold," he said, and without further warning dunked her under.

She tensed and gave a little scream as she was submerged. Sesshoumaru pulled her back up, gasping and sputtering. Kagome glared at him and fought against his grasp. "You did that on purpose! You jerk! That's really cold!" He liked the feeling he got with her shaking in his arms, her shredded wet clothes clinging to her. She was also cute when she was angry.

Kagome watched his smile widen. "Oh no!" She tried to cling to his shoulders, but in one quick motion she was under and back up and dripping again. "Stop that! You're really enjoying this aren't you?" Her lips were quivering from the cold, and her hair was clinging in a pretty frame around her face.

Sesshoumaru just kept his devious smile in response, putting her on her feet and positioning her by an arm around her waist to face him. "Lean forward," he said, at the same time pushing her gently with a hand on her back until the top of her head was at the surface of the water. Carefully, he rinsed and combed his fingers through her hair, gently washing the blood from her hair as she chose to remain still for him. Kagome's annoyance evaporated instantly as soon as he began working through her hair. It felt so good, his finger pads gently massaging her scalp while his claws raked through her sodden waves.

Apparently satisfied, he allowed Kagome to straighten herself and led her back to shore.

The shadows were rapidly lengthening as the water sparkled warmly with the reflected glow of the descending sun. Kagome stood dripping on the shoreline, her feet unsure on the slippery round pebbles. Sesshoumaru, still dry from the waist up, helped her balance with a warm hand on her arm.

Now that she was out of the water, she started shivering like crazy. The cold water was even worse now that she was exposed to the wind.

"Take that off." Sesshoumaru stepped away from her and waited.

"Excuse me? I don't think so!" Sesshoumaru was entertained by her righteous outrage, but he could hear her teeth chattering, so it was important not to draw this out. He tossed her his haori.

"Wear this for now. If you stay in that, you really will be sick." He turned his back to her, but didn't leave.

Kagome gulped and considered her options. He was right though, she was freezing and her clothes were too torn to be much use anyway. As quickly as she could, she stripped out of her outfit and hastily wrapped Sesshoumaru's haori around her. It was soft, and very warm next to her cold damp skin. Fortunately, it also came down low enough that she shouldn't have to be too concerned about her modesty. It also seemed to be as resilient as Inuyasha's clothes, there was no blood on it. She cleared her throat to signal it was safe for Sesshoumaru to turn around. She had never seen him without his haori before, but he was very well defined she couldn't help but notice.

Sesshoumaru enjoyed seeing Kagome wrapped up in his too-large clothing. It made her look like she was his, even if she didn't think of it that way. She was blushing furiously and her eyes flitted about everywhere, hesitant to meet his. He wondered what she was thinking. "Much better," he said softly, watching her get even redder if possible.

She looked down at the ground, a little embarrassed. This was certainly someplace where she expected to be, standing dripping in Sesshoumaru's haori with the demon lord himself watching her with apparent enjoyment. As for him, he looked very attractive, especially with that smile on his face. Had she provoked that from him?

Sesshoumaru had a fire going by the time Kagome snapped back to reality. The first tendrils of heat found her skin, causing her to shake as she realized how completely chilled she was. Sesshoumaru walked up to her casually as she resolutely held her ground. She sent him a withering glare. "Let me guess. Now you're going to make me sit by the fire and dry, because you seem to love it when I'm at your mercy. Don't you dare pick me up."

Well, now that she had said that, he had no other choice. He grinned and lifted her, carrying her near the fire and pulling her down into his lap.

"Ohhh," she said shaking, "you're evil. You think you get the last word in everything." Sesshoumaru was certainly in a playful mood this evening, she thought disbelievingly. She wished she had some idea of what that meant for her. He had hardly been out of physical contact with her since she had been resurrected. Not to mention he had kissed her. What was going on?

His pants were damp, but rapidly drying. His bare skin was quite warm, though. She pressed her back against Sesshoumaru's chest, trying to soak up his warmth. She realized her position and could feel the heat rising off her face as she attempted to bring herself under control. "Where are the others?" she asked in a small voice.

"They'll be back soon, I sent Jaken for supplies." His arms snaked under hers, wrapping snugly around her middle. He leaned into her hair and inhaled, the blood scent was gone, she smelled like herself and clean water.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked nervously. "Why are you acting this way?"

Sesshoumaru spoke softly near her ear. "I am grateful that you are alive."

Kagome shivered again, but this time it wasn't as much because of the cold. "What do you mean?" Her heart was beating rapidly.

He hesitated, unsure of how much he wanted to tell her. "Something has changed," he said vaguely. "Today I was able to master both Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga. If I had not, you would have died." He tightened his arms possessively around her.

"To use Tetsusaiga requires a desire to protect humans," Kagome mused. "And Toutousai said that Tenseiga is a sword which relies on the user's compassion and caring for others." She arched her head back a little to see his face. "The thing that has changed is you, Sesshoumaru."

He knew instantly that she was correct. Somehow, being near her had made him care about protecting her. Not only that, but when he had thought he lost her, it stirred up feelings he didn't know he had. He had wanted her to live and be happy, just for her own sake, and not because she was a tool. He did not want to be without her again. He would never have believed that he could calmly accept his care and respect for her, he had always thought compassion to be an absurdity he was not susceptible to. But those very feelings had given him more power today than he could have ever achieved alone.

As if reading his thoughts, she whispered, "It's not a weakness..."

He looked down at her, face impassive. "I know," he breathed, marveling at this realization.

Kagome felt herself melt a little more with his soft golden eyes looking into her own. He was so different, peaceful and caring. She was falling in love with him, and there was nothing she could do to stop herself. She loved the way his arms were tightened around her, holding her protectively against him. She didn't even mind that she was only wearing his haori, and that thin piece of material was the only barrier between his skin and hers. Tonight his eyes had shed their violent possessiveness, replaced by a gentle slow-burning commitment.

"Sesshoumaru," she said seriously, "I think you should carry the Tetsusaiga."

Sesshoumaru was surprised to hear her say this. The last time the subject had come up she had been vehemently opposed to him possessing it.

"Did you know one of Inuyasha's fangs is in the Tetsusaiga too?" she continued, nervous at his silence. "And he used it to find the power to break through Naraku's barriers." She fidgeted, playing with the hem of Sesshoumaru's sleeves. "I guess that...since the sword has accepted you, you should use it."

Inuyasha. He was always present between them, Sesshoumaru thought with disappointment. But if what Kagome said was true, he had reason to be grateful to his brother. The power he had invested in the sword was still protecting the woman they had both fallen in love with. His father and his brother. They were still beside him somehow, even though both were dead. While he couldn't be sure of their motives, one thing was certain. Everything was pushing him towards protecting Kagome. "I will use it then," he reassured her, comforted when she relaxed again in his arms. She even arched her head back to him, offering him a bittersweet smile.

Entranced, Sesshoumaru ran his hand down the line of her neck before leaning in planting a soft kiss on her jaw, then allowing his lips to follow the path his hand had made. Kagome started shaking, her breath coming in hollow gasps. He felt her ribs shudder against his arm. She was crying. Disappointed, he pulled back.

"Sesshoumaru, what am I to you?" Kagome's voice was shaky. She had already had her heart broken, and to face that again so soon would kill her, she was sure. Her honor screamed that she should not be so in love with another man after Inuyasha. But even worse, what if she had fallen in love with someone who could never care about her like that? Why did he have to be so hard to interpret? "Please. Please, I have to know."

Her lost expression and pleading made him want to hold her all the closer, comfort her until her fears were allayed. He captured her face and lifted it so her wide brown eyes were looking right at his. "It is for your sake that I have become able to use the swords. I know that you understand what this means. You have become very important to me. Do not doubt that."

"Please..." she begged again. "I don't want to be hurt."

"You may trust me," he told her, and for the second time his lips found hers. Sesshoumaru used his arm around her to urge her body up towards him, and used the other to hold her head turned to him. He tasted her without hesitation this time, letting his mouth open slightly and allowing his tongue to gently explore her sweet lips. Kagome responded, turning in his grasp to face him a little more and curling one arm around his neck. Pleased by her consent, Sesshoumaru let his hand wrap to her face, brushing downward and gently urging her to drop her jaw and part her lips. She obeyed, her breaths deepening as she started to cautiously return the kiss. She didn't have a lot of experience, but it wasn't a problem as Sesshoumaru was content to have control. His claws were moving in interesting patterns on her back and neck, sending exhilarating shivers through her body. Without realizing it, she was giving Sesshoumaru's ears and neck a similar treatment, while the hand she used to brace against his bare chest was warming against him.

Every motion she made only provoked him more, but he had to stay in control or risk hurting her or damaging her trust. Hungrily he deepened the kiss, earning a little gasp from her, but no signs of resistance. He could feel her body heat rising and was smugly satisfied that he was pleasing her.

She cared about him, he knew now. She would not have asked him not to hurt her if she had not. She tasted even better, he thought as he explored the inside of her mouth. He drew back and resumed teasing her lips with his tongue before trailing his lips downward. He alternately nipped softly and kissed his way down her neck, pausing at her collar to take in the full flavor of her skin. She sighed gratifyingly and rested against him, content to let him continue with his gentle ministrations. She nuzzled into Sesshoumaru's neck, kissing it lightly while he continued his work at her collar.

He pulled back rather suddenly, squinting away from her. Kagome, startled, lifted her head and felt the color rising to her cheeks. Had she done something wrong? Or had he just realized she wasn't worth kissing?

Seeing the hurt and confusion in Kagome's eyes, he smiled a little. "It's fine," he told her. "It's just that Rin and Jaken are back." He could see her relief, her flushed lips parting as she let out a breath she had been holding. "Beautiful," he said softly. She blushed even more. Her innocence and fragility only made her more alluring and lovely. Sesshoumaru knew he could never let her go now.

In a moment, his dragon was within his sight as well as scent, appearing moments later next to the fire. Sesshoumaru had risen and assisted Rin with her dismount. Kagome came up behind him and received the replacement set of clothing he handed her. He allowed her to sneak into the trees and stayed turned while she changed. She was back in a moment, looking much more relaxed. Rin had already latched on to her, hugging Kagome's legs and nearly tripping her. She released Kagome after the miko ruffled her hair affectionately and began to encircle her, jabbering away cheerfully about something or other Jaken had done on their little errand. Smiling, Kagome returned Sesshoumaru's haori to him, accepting a new bow and quiver in exchange.

"You have gotten better," he complimented, allowing himself to smile. "Keep this with you at all times," he said more seriously. She nodded solemnly while he pulled his clothing back on.

"Now," he said firmly, "you will sit down by the fire again and eat something. After that, you are resting. You seem to have been healed, but you came close to death today. I will not allow you to risk your health."

She wanted to resent him for bossing her around again, but this time his orders seemed good-natured, and she knew that he was sincerely concerned. Every day she was able to tell a little more of what he was thinking. She rolled her eyes at him, but sighed and flopped back down by the fire, accepting Rin clambering onto her lap. Sesshoumaru, true to his nature, watched her like a hawk as she ate, and as soon as she had finished her nightly routine had insisted she go to sleep. Kagome gave him another exasperated expression and a pout, but was exhausted so she didn't fight it too much. Taking it for granted that Sesshoumaru would protect her while she slept, she laid down without hesitation. She was curled not far from the fire and asleep within moments. Rin contentedly snuggled up to her. The little girl was glad to have found such good company in the miko. As long as Kagome and Sesshoumaru were with her, everything was alright in her world.

It was apparent to Jaken that his master was not the same demon he had been a year ago. It was obvious that he had completely given in to acceptance towards humans. Sesshoumaru and Kagome's scents were mingling and lingered on each other, there could be no doubt that the two had become closer. The toad leaned against his staff and grumbled dismally about what his world was coming to.

Sesshoumaru settled himself against a tree, eying Rin's position with a little jealousy. Though the day had started darkly, he had never felt more at peace than he did now. Forgetting for a moment the trials that lay ahead of them, he smiled at Kagome's vestige still clinging to his haori and prepared for another night of watching over her.



Author's Notes and Responses:

Finals are finally over!!!!!!!

First off, let me say that I've never written anything romantic before this. Ever. So I'm very sorry if it sucks.

Next, the reason Naraku wanted Kagome's body was that he thought it probably wasn't smart to leave somebody he wanted dead in the hands of someone with a sword that resurrects. Sorry if this wasn't clear.

Why didn't Tenseiga work on Inuyasha?- This is something that I've only hinted at so far. Will become more clear in future chapters.

Wickedwolf: Heh heh heh, don't worry, I thought the same thing when I was writing it. Mmmmm. Delicious innuendo.

Sailor Panda: Thanks so much. I tried to fix it a little, I hope it's better now.

Fallen Angel of Death: Yeah, you're right. I swear I've been meaning to do that. Really!!

Thanks to everybody who sent in ideas or comments. Reviews make me happy. Still plenty of time if you want to tell me what you would like me to write about.

Til next time, review, review, review!

-Aiwendil



This chapter last updated: Wednesday, May 14, 2003- minor story changes

Originally posted: Saturday, May 10, 2003