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A pack of wolves tore into the clearing, gathering around their master. He melted into the forest with them, tossing a look back at Kagome. "Stay safe!"

The wolf youkai gone, Kagome turned and nearly ran into Sesshoumaru. She looked timidly up into his impassive face, belying his raging golden eyes.

"Rin," he commanded without moving his eyes off of her, "go find flowers. Jaken, go with her."

Kagome felt trapped by his ferocious gaze. This couldn't be good.

17: Trust

Kagome had learned a few things about the demon lord in the short while she had been near him. He wasn't completely heartless like she had thought, nor was he completely impassive. However, when he was most frustrated or angry the cold mask was irremovable, even if his eyes always gave him away. And right now, that almost bored look on his face meant he was a stone's throw away from showing his demonic features.

She watched despairingly as Jaken led Rin and Ah-Un away, leaving her alone with a very foul-tempered youkai. But he wouldn't harm her...would he?

"Sesshoumaru, I..." She stopped when his hands firmly clamped down on either side of her waist. It didn't hurt, but it was tight enough to be uncomfortable. He kept his eyes clamped on hers as he walked her backwards, pushing her back firmly against a huge tree. Kagome's fear grew as he held her there for a moment, his lips pulling into a slight snarl.

He growled loudly as he suddenly withdrew his hands. Kagome froze as his claws flew forward again, terrified of what he might do. She flinched as his hands slammed violently into the tree behind her, centimeters on either side. Slivers of wood exploded outward at the same time Sesshoumaru let loose a feral growl.

Kagome was left standing against the remaining half of the tree, either side having been shattered or was now melting in eerily green poison.

"Sesshoumaru, stop! I had to do it!" She cried out desperately, hoping he would listen to her. He stood a hands-span in front of her and placed his arms on either side of her shoulders, leaning against his knuckles. He bowed his head, hiding his eyes. Kagome, panting, hoped he was bringing himself under control.

"Who is he?" he growled lowly.

Kagome was relieved to hear him speak. "He's the leader of the wolf-youkai pack. His name is Kouga, and he's also after Naraku."

"I don't care," he said dangerously. "I want to know why he says you're his woman."

Kagome trembled a little. "He just decided that on his own, I've told him many times that I won't, but he doesn't listen."

"What do you mean 'decided that on his own'?"

"Um, well, he sort of kidnaped me from Inuyasha once." Sesshoumaru's fists slid in until they were braced against her arms, holding her firmly in place. She continued nervously. "He wanted me originally for my miko sight, but then decided that he wanted me for...other reasons."

Sesshoumaru was enraged beyond anything he had ever experienced. "He took you," he ground out, once again locking his eyes on hers. "I should have killed him."

"Sesshoumaru, please, believe me. He didn't hurt me or take advantage of me, I swear. He even protected me."

"I should have killed him," he repeated. "Why did you stop me?" There was a heavy pause. "Or do you return his affections?"

Kagome felt her anger spike. "Didn't you just watch me turn him down!" she yelled in his face. "I just couldn't let him die! Ever since Inuyasha took me back for them, he's always been there when I needed someone to save me. He's my friend." She added under her breath: "even if he can't take a hint."

Sesshoumaru was looking away from her again, but she hoped she was getting through to him. "Besides, there's been enough blood spilled needlessly in all of this. And...I don't think I could bear it if his death was on your hands."

Sesshoumaru turned in suddenly and closed the space between them, lifting her by her shoulders until her feet were off the ground and trapping her tightly between himself and the rough bark. Kagome panicked again, giving a little squeak. She tried to push herself away, but she couldn't move a muscle. He was looking at her intensely, their faces now at equal height.

"Never jump into danger like that again."

"Sesshou-" Kagome's objections were muffled when Sesshoumaru almost violently pushed his mouth against hers. Aggressively he manipulated her mouth, punishing her with his kiss. Kagome tensed. He had always been very gentle before, but he was making no attempt to spare her now. She whimpered a little against his mouth, but he only responded by grinding into her harder.

She stopped fighting, her mind shutting down as Sesshoumaru's actions sent tremors down her body. She shivered when she felt his soft canines against her tongue. He responded instinctively, nipping her back. Without intending to, his grasp on her tightened until it was painful. Kagome winced. The pain of Sesshoumaru's grip and the tree at her back and the pleasure from his kiss combined to become overwhelmingly strong. She struggled against his grasp, but he didn't show any signs of letting up. When he didn't let go, she fought even harder in alarm.

Feeling her struggle, Sesshoumaru bit again, demanding obedience. Kagome screamed again, half from fear and half from the pain.

This time he heard her. And he tasted blood. He pulled away sharply, finally aware of what he had been doing. His rage vanished instantly.

He realized he was still holding Kagome immobile against the tree. She was struggling to catch her breath and her eyes were full of fear. He dropped her, but she immediately flattened herself against the tree, pressing herself away from him. Her hands remained fisted at her sides, clamped tightly against her even though his hands were no longer holding them there.

He had lost control of himself in his frustration. He couldn't remember ever letting his instinct take over like that. This girl had too many unfamiliar and strange effects on him. She couldn't help that, but because of it he had hurt her, and she was afraid of him again.

Slowly he brought his hand up to her face, cringing inwardly as she flinched at his approach. "It's all right," he coaxed. "I'm sorry."

When his claws made contact with her face, she turned her head away from him, pushing harder against the tree, having no place else to go. A tear fell as she closed her eyes. Damn. He had made her cry.

"Please let me see," he whispered. With a feathery touch on her chin, he implored her to open her mouth. She obeyed, not opening her eyes. Frowning, he inspected the two small punctures on the backside of her bottom lip. They weren't deep, they had only barely drawn blood. But maybe that was enough to shatter her faith in him. Kagome closed her mouth, licking her lips to clear the blood and tears. She felt Sesshoumaru's cool breath on her skin and realized he was cautiously kissing her tears.

"Does it hurt?" he murmured.

Kagome shook her head a little. It was mostly the shock and fear that had elicited her reaction.

He sighed and gently pulled her into an embrace. She went stiff in his arms. Sesshoumaru worried that he had destroyed any affinity she had for him. In his anger and jealousy, he had forgotten how fragile she was. Sometimes when she acted so bravely he completely forgot she was human. All her bravery didn't give her the resources to allow her to stop him when he got out of control, though.

He tried to reassure her by gently rubbing his hand in circles on her back, while stoking her hair with his other hand. Kagome's muscles went lax as she collapsed against his chest.

"You scared me," she said, crying.

Sesshoumaru was ashamed. "I know, I didn't mean to." Her tears shook her as she cried against him. "I'm very sorry." He squeezed her a little for emphasis. "I won't let it ever happen again."

He continued to comb through her hair apologetically as Kagome sniffed away her tears. "Why were you so angry? What I told you about Kouga is true. Don't you believe me?"

"I believe you."

"Then why...?"

What could he tell her? He had been angry at the wolf for trying to lay claim to her, and angry that Kagome had defended another man. Her disobedience was what had thrown him over the edge, though. She had thrown herself into the battle after all his attempts to keep her safe. The brief moment she had been between his sword and the wolf had provoked his loss of control.

"You could have been killed," he said simply.

Kagome snapped her head up, finally understanding. "You were worried about me?"

Sesshoumaru wordlessly pulled her in a little closer. Kagome laid her head against his chest.

"You disobeyed me and put yourself in danger. Never do that again."

Kagome scoffed. "Don't try and kill my friends. I can't just sit by and watch. And... I don't like killing."

"Sometimes it is necessary. You will solve nothing by getting yourself killed in the process."

"I wasn't afraid back then," Kagome said. "I knew you would be able to stop your attack, and Kouga would never hurt me."

"But I would," Sesshoumaru said with a calmness that denied his inner turmoil.

Kagome frowned. "I didn't say that."

"It doesn't matter," he said, running his fingers across her lips. "I've already done it."

She pushed herself into him. "Will you do it again?"

"Never."

"It's alright then," Kagome whispered.

"You would trust me after that?" Sesshoumaru asked in disbelief.

"I'm not hurt - you stopped yourself. You spared Kouga. You take good care of Rin. You are a better person than you think you are, Sesshoumaru. I do trust you."

"Perhaps you are too trusting for your own good," Sesshoumaru commented dryly. "Trust is too often broken, innocence makes you defenseless to suffering. How often have you been hurt?"

Images of all the times Inuyasha had hurt her flashed through her mind. She had always faithfully returned to him. Always trusted him. She recalled the re-animated Kikyou. She had tried so hard to accept what she was, see her as a person, despite all the times it harmed her to do so. "Often."

"Then why do you trust?" he asked, pushing her long hair behind her ear.

"I would rather be innocent and trustful and get hurt, than doubtful and safe. This way, I'm not lonely and the only one I can hurt is me."

Sesshoumaru pulled away, holding both of her hands in his and looking at her intently. "Definitely too trusting." Kagome smiled at him a little, her eyes still glistening. "I will honor that as long as you are here with me. Keep your innocence." He bent and kissed her forehead. "I will justify your trust."

"Thank you," she said, standing on the tips of her toes to return the kiss lightly to his cheek. She wondered at the phrase 'as long as you are here with me.'



Okie dokie, that was fun. I didn't even give you a cliff hanger. Aren't I nice?

I know this chapter is short, but that's just the way things fell. Next one is longer.

Thanks so much to everybody who reviewed. I was going to do more detailed responses, but am tired and this chair is making me dizzy.

Now it is my intention to spin around in this chair for several minutes. Oh yeah, lots of work getting done around here.

Please Review!!



This chapter last updated: Thursday, May 22, 2003