~*~*~
ai sureba ai suru hodo tsuraku
boku no omoi wa ikiba o nakushite
dare mo ga ai o motomete iru no ni surechigau bakari
kimi mo onaji kurai tsurakattan da ne
~*~*~
It's a free day today. A public holiday on Kinmokusei. To commemorate the day the Planet returned to life. Nobody has to work at all. There are festivals held all over the planet. Today, the Princess and her Starlights mingled among the people of Kinmokusei. Later on, Princess Kakyuu would give a speech, but for now, nobody would notice if we had fun like normal people.
I've stopped wearing skirts and dresses now. It'd be rather inconvenient if we were somehow recognized, and someone decided to attack us.
I still feel very tired, but the fresh air and the sunshine are wonderful. Princess Kakyuu is having a wonderful time as usual. Your eyes sparkle when you watch her, you know. They shine, full of happiness and love. I have to wonder…
Princess Kakyuu looks very beautiful. Her hair isn't in its usual style, today, it has just been tied back loosely with a ribbon. She's wearing a simple dress that brings out her features well.
I laugh suddenly, as I hear a stall owner shout for customers.
"Charms! Buy your love charms hear! Win your true love with this love charm! It's guaranteed to produce results!" I decide to indulge myself.
"Perhaps I'll meet my true love with this," I say lightly. The stall owner grins. Smirking at Maker's raised eyebrow I slip the charm into my pocket, toss my hair and move on slightly ahead. You've offered your arm to Kakyuu Princess like a gentleman, leaving Maker and me free. The two of us carefully forge a path through the crowd, moving here and there, clearing a space. Almost synchronized, the way we move.
"Do you think those work?" wonders Maker aloud. I blink.
"… Miss Rei had sold those. If anything, it's not an impossibility. Considering what exists in this day and age, a love charm should be nothing." Maker shrugs.
"What are you supposed to do with it?" I blink again, and take out the slip of paper to look at it. There's a simple sketch of an umbrella, one that's reminiscent of a custom on Earth.
"… I'm not sure. I think I'm supposed to write somebody's name on one side of the handle, and my name on the other, and then bury it or burn it." I shrug.
~*~*~
If I love, I'll be hurting as much as I love
My thoughts have lost their life
Even though everyone wishes for love, they keep on passing by each other
You are the same It's painful isn't it?
~*~*~
I started watching you a while back. I know it was when we were on Earth. The specific time… I think it was when you fell in love with Tsukino Usagi. That Earth girl, that unlikely heroine. I wondered what was so special about her, why she was the second person to make you smile like that. The first… I understood. But not her. And so, I started to watch the two of you, to see what was so extraordinary. I knew, though, that Usagi's heart belonged to another. It was in her eyes, that sadness, the pain of being apart from the one that she loved. That look had showed on your face as well, when we had been searching for Kakyuu. I think it still shows up occasionally.
I often wondered why you continued to persist in trying to gain her affections. Didn't you know that she wasn't in love with you? Didn't have you an obligation? A duty to fulfill? Wasn't your heart already gone?
Such a sad person you were then, drifting out there, all alone. So easily hurt. I hated you then for abandoning our Princess like that. For forgetting her so easily. I truly hated you for that.
Do you know the mistakes that people make over love? Really, it's almost sad.
They never notice the fact that the person who they belong with is right… right in front of them.
Fighter, I know what those looks mean. I often wonder though, if Princess Kakyuu does as well.
It's sad, isn't it?
----------
Hey, Seiya.
… Seiya…
Strange, I haven't called you by your birth name in years. With Maker as well. The day I became Sailor Star Healer, I started thinking of myself as that person. As Healer. I forgot Yaten. I think of myself as part of that unit, The Sailor Starlights. I always have, for a long time. Come to think of it, I have never thought of myself as a person, except when in the presence of Kakyuu-sama.
Nowadays, whenever I have a scrap of time for myself, I walk the streets. I try to be just an average citizen of Kinmokusei for a few hours.
You know of my abilities. During the Galaxia years, I had to… close it. Imagine a room, as my mind, with an open door, signifying that empathic ability. I had to have a… security door there. I could stand at the door, and look out but I'd still be safe from everything outside. That's what I had to do. If I'd let my mind remain open during those years, I would surely have broken down from the stress, and the pain received. Recovering would have lost us precious time. And so, I forced myself to detach myself from everything. I felt all those stars die, and I was sad, but at the same time, it was like watching a movie. I could sympathize but at the same time, I didn't care.
But, when Kakyuu appeared, the sun came out, driving the rain away, and I could open the security door, and step out. And when she died, it started raining again, and the door closed on me. I was left standing out there, cold, shivering, and blind to everything but the fact that Princess – no, Queen… was gone. Don't get me wrong though. Even if I had known that Galaxia would finally gain Kakyuu's Sailor Crystal, I still wouldn't have detached myself. I would experience everything with my Princess, be it joy, or anger, or… death. After that one triumphant moment where we cut Galaxia, my senses came back to me, and I looked to Sailor Moon, like you did. I placed my hope and faith in her. The door opened up for me again, and I stepped back in, but the security door shut and locked itself.
However… It's been years already. Years since Galaxia nearly succeeded in taking over the galaxy, in destroying life. Even when Kakyuu came back to us, the block didn't lift itself. I remember feeling the delirious happiness, but, at the same time, wondering if this was short-lived. If in fact this was this end and because I couldn't stop wondering, it never left me.
It's alright when I'm around all of you though.
The sun shines, but there are still some clouds out. They'll leave yet.
----------
"It's not working. I can't feel her. Are we doing the right thing? How do we even know if she's still alive?"
"How… can you say that?!"
"Too easily Fighter. Too easily."
~*~*~
End Verse
End Chapter