Author - xfool
Disclaimer – I would think that we all know the drill by now
Notes – This is an AU/Songfic. All lyrics are in bold and any flashbacks are in italics
Two beds and a coffee machine
"Mac, she is beautiful. What are you going to name her?"
"Emmaline Juliet. Emma for short. Here, hold her. Jack won't be back for another week or so…he says he is on business but I know better…" he voice trailed off as she fell asleep from exhaustion. Harm sat next to her, holding the baby, not sure of what his place is in her marriage.
Mac sat back on the couch, an ice pack on her left eye and a makeshift bandage on her arm. Her uniform was covered in blood; the apartment looked like a war zone. Of course, that's what it was now. Her home was not filled with love, but with hate and resentment. To escape from him she envisions Emma's birth and how he wasn't there to help her. But he's here now and she's thankful that Emma is at Bud and Harriet's for the night. When she married Jack, she vowed to make sure that her children wouldn't go through what she did. It was a cliché….nothing more than an empty promise.
And she takes another step
Slowly she opens the door
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor
Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
He passed out a little while ago after his "routine". She knows this is not her fault but she has no one to turn to. No one can know. She walks to his room, making sure he is asleep. If he wakes up it will be another argument, another bruise. Thankfully her uniform covers the black marks in the shapes of fists and hands up and down her arms and upper body. The swelling is going down so she takes the ice pack off her eye and starts cleaning the glass and porcelain off the floor. The coffee table is in the corner, splintered with two legs broken. The white couch is stained crimson. She is careful to keep quiet. Cleaning what she can, the apartment still is a mess. She goes to her room, being as quiet as possible, and packs her uniforms, some jeans, a couple of blouses, her under garments and makeup.
He stirs. She pauses. His eyes open. In them she can see flashes of hatred. He's up and shaking her before her marine instincts can take effect.
"You whore. How can you do this to me?!?!?! Where's Emma? I thought I told you to clean this mess up? Can't you do anything right?" Each question is accented with a slap to the face.
She doesn't respond. Instead she hangs her head, praying he stops. She needs him to stop. Last time she had a miscarriage, and she is sure she will again if he doesn't calm down. He releases her and goes back to bed with a threat that she will meet her maker unless she cleans before he wakes up. He saunters away, the smell of alcohol leaving a permanent stain in the air. Outside, thunder rolls and lightening flashes. The rain is heavy. She can't cry anymore. That isn't allowed. Forgetting the cleaning she takes her suitcase, briefcase, purse and car keys. The darkness of the apartment isn't as dark as her heart. Taking out her cell phone she calls Harm.
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
"Mac, what is happening to you? You never go out anymore. I seldom see you even when we're at work."
She shakes her head. "It's nothing. Emma is taking a lot of my time. And Jack…."
"What about Jack?" He sees the marks on her arms, the cut on her face. He puts it all together. "Did he do this to you?"
She has tears in her eyes. "No. It's my own clumsiness. Honest." But she can't look him in the eye. If he knew…God, things would be so much worse. Everyone looks but they refuse to believe, they know but decline to say anything.
"Then how did this happen?" She can hear the skepticism in his voice.
"I slipped and fell. I had forgotten I mopped the floor…Emma started to cry…I ran to the nursery…I, um, I…"
"That's not the truth and I know it. You know it. Emma's nursery is near your room…you have no hardwood or tile in your house. Was he drunk? Sober? High? What?"
"He wasn't anything…I swear he didn't do this. Just stop before you make it worse..."
"How am I gonna make it worse?"
"You just will."
And there are children to think of
Baby's asleep in the backseat
Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare
But the mind is an amazing thing
Full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel
Two beds and a coffee machine
But there are groceries to buy
And she knows she'll have to go home
He doesn't answer the phone. No one does. Who would at three in the morning? She heads to the office. She can sleep in her office. As she drives, she tries to come up with a new reason why she looks the way she does. Bud and Harriet will bring Emma with them to work. She can't go home. She knows she should leave; run and never look back. Maybe press charges of assault. She can't charge him with military violations, but she knows that the police don't look past things like this.
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
There are no hospitals or clinics that haven't seen her. They all know. But she can't let them tell the police. Three years of hell. She doubts her ability to hide what is happening. No makeup will hide that ugliness of her left eye.
Time to start another day. Bud and Harriet walk through the bull pen, Emma, little AJ and Marie between them. Emma see her mom and breaks away, running at top speed. She throws herself into Mac. She flinches but recovers quickly.
"Hey sweetie. Did you have a good time with Auntie Harriet and Uncle Bud last night?"
"Mommy! I had soooo much fun! AJ, Marie and I…" she starts chatting. Mac glances up to see Bud and Harriet turn their eyes away. She can feel the stares. See the sympathetic looks.
"Thanks Bud; Harriet. It was nice to have a night to ourselves." She gives an attempted smile, but the bruised and swollen lips won't allow it.
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
Another lonely highway in the black of night
But there's hope in the darkness
You know you're going to make it
AJ, Marie and Emma are in the corner playing the Sponge Bob Squarepants game. Harm knocks on her door.
"Enter."
"Hey Mac. I was wonder—"
"What?"
"Did he do this to you?"
"Did HE do WHAT?"
"You know what I mean."
She sucks in a breath, carefully. "Close the door."
He obeys and sits across from her.
"I need your help. I can't go home. I don't know what to do…"
"Oh Mac. I wish you didn't have to go through this. Come on, let's see the Admiral. He'll know what to do."
Another ditch in the road
Keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last
Wonder how I ever made it
A YEAR LATER
Emma was playing in the front yard with her new puppy. Things were slowly getting back to normal. Harm and the admiral eventually convinced her to press charges and divorce Jack. She was healing, but it was going to take a lot of time. Harm stood next to her, drying the dishes. No words were spoken between them.
She broke the silence. "I talked with the doctor today. She says that I don't have the flu."
"That's good," he responds, his eyes never leaving Emma.
"But she says that we need a bigger house."
The dish falls with a muffled thud into the soapy water. He faces her. "You're not."
She nods; her face brightens up with a smile. "I am," she says as she plays with her wedding band. He closes the space between them and captures her lips with his.
"I love you Sarah. I'm proud of you. Look how far you've come."
"I love you too. I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you."