A/N: Sorry it's been so dang long, but I just haven't been in the whole best -writer- in -the- world mood…. Well, okay, best- writer- in- the- continent mood. Fine, okay! Best-writer-in-the-city mood.

Best-writer-in-my-little-empty-room mood. Fine. I admit it. Damn you honesty.

***********

Chapter 4

October 13, 2003 The Loft 12:09:56 AM

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

I don't know what to do….

I think I might be in shock. Yeah, that's it. Shock. My buddy. My pal. Good old shock. How you doing, shock? Anything new? How's the wife? I heard about your promotion to "constant factor in my life." Congratulations! I'm happy for you, really. Are we having a party? Where's the cake? Were any animals harmed in the creation of this yummy treat? You know how I feel about animals. Animals are good. Eating animals is bad. Animals are good. Wearing animals is bad. Animals are good. Killing animals is bad. I don't eat animals, I'm a vegetarian. Did you know that? I have failed to convert one person to my lifestyle so far, shock. Isn't that sad and pathetic? Don't I feel like a total failure, shock? I haven't converted my mom, my dad. I haven't converted Grandmere, Lars, Tina. I haven't converted Lilly, Michael--

Michael. Michael. Oh. So THAT'S why I'm in shock. Michael. Michael. I think the shock's wearing off now. Boo. Bye bye shock. See you soon. Keep in touch. Thanks for comi-

MICHAEL MOSCOVITZ, WHAT THE FRICKIN HECK IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!

LATER

G&T

I'm ignoring him. I'm ignoring him. No, don't look that way, Mia. HE's over there. HIM. No. don't say his name.

Well, write his name, because, well, yeah, I'm kind of writing in my diary right now, which you should know because you're my diary and I'm writing in you, so you should know that I don't want to say his name, well, write his name, because if I say his name, write his name I mean, I'll like spontaneously explode like that one guy from Monty Python that exploded because he ate so much, and was so disgusting because he was like throwing up everywhere and throwing up is just gross, I don't care if it's a perfectly normal human body function, or just body function because, like, other animals, not just humans, can throw up, like Fat Louie when he eats socks, which isn't good, because then they clog up his intestines and he yowls and screams and he makes a lot of noise, and my mom starts swearing at him, but he can't help it because he's a cat, and we have to take him to the animal hospital, and the doctors have to take the sock out of him, because he ate it and it isn't good, and we have to spend, like, a small fortune to pay for it, not that it's really that big of a deal now that I'm a princess, because they give me discounts now, but I guess I've always technically been a princess, so why did they just start giving me discounts now, I mean, really, that's kind of unfair, I should get discounts on sock-out-of-cat removals because Fat Louie is a royal cat and he's always technically been a royal cat, so what are they thinking?

Poor Fat Louie.

Hold on, Lilly's talking to me.

Lilly: Mia, what are you writing about?

Me: Unfairness to royal cats.

Lilly: Oh. Well, what's with the look?

Me: What look?

Lilly: The look you have.

Me: The look I have? What's wrong with my look?

Lilly: You look at strained and sickly.

Me: Well, maybe thinking about the horrible unfairness the community of royal cats receives from their public is making me feel strained and sickly?

Lilly: Seriously? 'Cuz that's almost as weird as being mad at Michael for being.

Michael: You were mad at me for being? When?

OH MY GOD. MICHAEL. I forgot about him, which is kind of weird, since I've been thinking about him for, like, years. That's so weird. I guess Lilly's right. I am weird. That's kind of depressing. I mean, when you think-

Michael and Lilly: MIA!

Me: What?! Geez, what's your problem? I'm writing here.

Lilly: We're kind of talking to you, Mia. (Gives me weird look.)

Me: Oh. Yeah. You. I forgot about that. Upps. (Smiles sheepish smile)

Michael: Can we get back to the part about you being mad at me for being?

Me: You're being. That's bad.

Don't cause a scene in G&T. Don't cause a scene in G&T. Don't- wait, what did I just say?

Lilly: Are you on the cough syrup again? See, Michael, I told you she's acting weird.

Me: I'M ACTING WEIRD? I, ME, MYSELF, I! I'M ACTING WEIRD?!?!

Lilly: Yup, Mia. You're actually kind of scary.

Michael: (looking all concerned and hot and concerned.. Damn him) Mia? Are you okay? Are you not telling us something?

Me: Are you not telling me something? HUH? Like anything, I dunno, incriminating?

Lilly: What's your problem, Mia? I gave you the tape, you should be happy.

Michael: Tape? What tape?

Lilly: The one of you yelling "GET OUT OF MY ROOM, LILLY!" over and over like a psychopath.

Michael: What- THAT tape? Why'd you give her tape? What's going on? Mia? Mia!

Me: Shut up! Just, shut up! Shut up shut up shut up shut up! Leave me alone!

I wrote that last part in the girl's bathroom. I wonder why I'm in the girl's bathroom. Hmmm. Maybe because I started screaming like an freak and ran out of my classroom into the girl's bathroom like a homing pigeon coming, well, home. To the pigeons. Like a good homing pigeon. How do they do that? I mean, with the homing, and the pigeoning? Like that Homeward Bound movie. How did those dogs and cat do it? Could I find my way home from all the way over there? No! Which means I'm not as smart as a dog. Or a cat. I don't like this train of thought. It's kind of depressing. How did I get here? I want to get off!

Oh yeah. Me. Homing pigeon. Embarrassment.

Can I get back on the train, please?

A/N: Okay, I know that was kind of short, but my fingers are tired. I mean, it takes a lot of work to type those rambling rants….. This is why PD is my favorite fanfic to write. I get to ramble and rant and talk about sock-out-of-the-cat operations! Wheee! Thanks for reading.