Stalker's Stalker- Hey everyone this is a new thing for me!!! Well a friend
of mine gave me an idea and I was like, 'well lemme *lightbulb clicks on*
AAAAAHHHHH HA!' Well here I'm gonna introduce you to my other personality(-
y+ies). Meet Slayer *tall, long black hair with trench coat, steel toed
boots, turtleneck, jeans*
Slayer-*looks at the crowd with her icy green eyes* Remind me why I'm here.
SS- Well aren't you Miss Tall-Dark-And-Scary?
Slayer- *pulls out a wicked looking dagger* It only takes a second for me to cut your throat. Do you want to know the exact length of time? *waves it around*
SS- *stares at it* ummm... no not really.
Slayer- *shrugs and puts it away* ok. *turns her back*
SS- *wipes sweat off of her brow*
Slayer- *whips around and severs her head with a katana. Head rolls away into the darkness and the body falls over. Looks at the shocked crowd* Don't worry. Her head'll come back to the body soon. *looks the crowd over* Well?!?! What are you staring at?! Read on Damn it!
*crowd quickly averts their eyes to the story*
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Sara couldn't believe her luck. Her bike had been stolen (though she was pretty sure someone had just taken it for a day), there was some slick grease just outside her door, all of her clothes had been turned inside out but she hadn't noticed till she looked at the tag staring at her from under her neck and when she did correct the shirt they all said in bold red 'I haven't gotten laid in some time.', her jacked had been taken and replaced with a bright pink fuzzy one she swore she would've burned on site if it wasn't snowing outside, her beanie was left alone except for the 'I smell' patch on it, her ring tone had been changed to something by the Spice Girls and she found lots of broken eggs in the bottom of her favorite high heeled boots and all of her other sneakers were gone and bright pink bunny slippers were in their place except for a pair of combat looking things. When Jake had called she ignored it and when the answering machine picked up she almost died. As plain as broad sunlight her voice singing over the shower to the tune of Britney Spear's that had gotten stuck in her head weeks ago. When she dove for it the recording part kicked in and all she could hear was someone pounding on the floor and the taunting sound of Jake's laughter. When she went for her coffee it turned out to be decaf and that was all she had. Someone had taken her favorite cereal, Crispix, and replaced it with the sugar loaded Fruity Pebbles. Danny called but before she could spare herself the embarrassment of her singing she forgot about the furniture move and fell over that (how she's still not sure). His reaction was no less than howls of laughter until the machine kicked him off. She never made it because somehow (and she was pretty sure who but not sure how) had tied her combat boot looking shoes's strings and she promptly fell over as she got up. Her clock, she found on arriving to work, was an hour ahead of schedule. Someone had put bonding agent on her seat and switched all of her files around.
Someone was going to have Hell to pay as soon as she saw him.
Danny walked in with two foam cups, one at his lips and the other at his side. When he saw Sara the one by his side hit the ground and the other moved away from his lips as he sprayed everything in a five foot radius with the spit/coffee. He howled again in laughter and walked out where she couldn't see from her sitting spot on the chair. Jake walked in about ten minutes later with a thick protein looking shake. Same effect. When he shut the door she wheeled herself over to the door and locked it as well as shut the blinds as well (A/N: SS- Did they have blinds? Slayer- SHUT UP AND LET THEM READ!!!)
Danny was the first to come back and tried to apologize through the giggles. He even brought a peace offering. "Here Pez," he handed over a set of jeans. She looked them over carefully then ushered him out. It was a little hard to get out of the jeans but her friend Mr. Scissors made the job rather easy. The jeans were a little big but she wasn't gonna complain right now. She was going to take a day off and go on a man hunt. Well she was gonna do that after she got rid of the shirt, jacket and found some way to get the patch off of her cap. About that time Jake burst through the door. She held back the sudden urge to dive for him and strangle him.
"Hey Pez," he tried not to burst into a fit of giggles but she could tell he wasn't doing a very good job. He put down one of the NYPD shirts and doubled over holding his sides. It was a good thing he was facing the door with his ass in clear kicking range. With one great kick of frustration he was flying out the door and crashing on the floor. There rang through the door the laughter of the other men but she was too frustrated to care. About that time Danny walked back in.
"Brought another peace offering." She would have kissed him if he wasn't married. He had given her a cheap coat, yes but it beat the pink fuzzy thing she intended to burn. He left again so she could change. She looked dorky but the coat was black and with it zipped up and hood over her head it wasn't bad at all. When she emerged Dante informed her that she had the whole day off before walking back to his office chuckling. She almost lost control and probably would've thrust her Witchblade through his throat. Almost but it would've helped out her day.
[He's going to wish he didn't pull these stunts on me,] she growled in her own head as she set out to hunt down her stalker.
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SS- HELLO!!!!!!!!! As you can see my head is back on and I have no intention of having it whacked off again *locked a metal collar around her whole neck*
Slayer- That's not gonna do you much good if I want to.
SS- I know but it'll at least keep my head intact.
Slayer- Wanna bet? *pulls out a welding kit*
SS- *laughs* That's about as dangerous and as absurd as me owning any of the characters I just used.
Slayer- But you have Ian tied up in your room.
SS- I said own.
Slayer- He's still locked up in your room
SS- I said own! OWN WHICH I DO NOT!
Slayer- *shrugged* same diff. *puts the welding kit away and pulls out the BIG battle axe from inside her coat* Well I can always for the midsection.
SS- Oh......... CRAP!! *runs*
Slayer- Well we'll be back as soon as she writes another chapter. By then I'm sure she'll have reattached herself *runs after SS swinging her axe*
Slayer-*looks at the crowd with her icy green eyes* Remind me why I'm here.
SS- Well aren't you Miss Tall-Dark-And-Scary?
Slayer- *pulls out a wicked looking dagger* It only takes a second for me to cut your throat. Do you want to know the exact length of time? *waves it around*
SS- *stares at it* ummm... no not really.
Slayer- *shrugs and puts it away* ok. *turns her back*
SS- *wipes sweat off of her brow*
Slayer- *whips around and severs her head with a katana. Head rolls away into the darkness and the body falls over. Looks at the shocked crowd* Don't worry. Her head'll come back to the body soon. *looks the crowd over* Well?!?! What are you staring at?! Read on Damn it!
*crowd quickly averts their eyes to the story*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sara couldn't believe her luck. Her bike had been stolen (though she was pretty sure someone had just taken it for a day), there was some slick grease just outside her door, all of her clothes had been turned inside out but she hadn't noticed till she looked at the tag staring at her from under her neck and when she did correct the shirt they all said in bold red 'I haven't gotten laid in some time.', her jacked had been taken and replaced with a bright pink fuzzy one she swore she would've burned on site if it wasn't snowing outside, her beanie was left alone except for the 'I smell' patch on it, her ring tone had been changed to something by the Spice Girls and she found lots of broken eggs in the bottom of her favorite high heeled boots and all of her other sneakers were gone and bright pink bunny slippers were in their place except for a pair of combat looking things. When Jake had called she ignored it and when the answering machine picked up she almost died. As plain as broad sunlight her voice singing over the shower to the tune of Britney Spear's that had gotten stuck in her head weeks ago. When she dove for it the recording part kicked in and all she could hear was someone pounding on the floor and the taunting sound of Jake's laughter. When she went for her coffee it turned out to be decaf and that was all she had. Someone had taken her favorite cereal, Crispix, and replaced it with the sugar loaded Fruity Pebbles. Danny called but before she could spare herself the embarrassment of her singing she forgot about the furniture move and fell over that (how she's still not sure). His reaction was no less than howls of laughter until the machine kicked him off. She never made it because somehow (and she was pretty sure who but not sure how) had tied her combat boot looking shoes's strings and she promptly fell over as she got up. Her clock, she found on arriving to work, was an hour ahead of schedule. Someone had put bonding agent on her seat and switched all of her files around.
Someone was going to have Hell to pay as soon as she saw him.
Danny walked in with two foam cups, one at his lips and the other at his side. When he saw Sara the one by his side hit the ground and the other moved away from his lips as he sprayed everything in a five foot radius with the spit/coffee. He howled again in laughter and walked out where she couldn't see from her sitting spot on the chair. Jake walked in about ten minutes later with a thick protein looking shake. Same effect. When he shut the door she wheeled herself over to the door and locked it as well as shut the blinds as well (A/N: SS- Did they have blinds? Slayer- SHUT UP AND LET THEM READ!!!)
Danny was the first to come back and tried to apologize through the giggles. He even brought a peace offering. "Here Pez," he handed over a set of jeans. She looked them over carefully then ushered him out. It was a little hard to get out of the jeans but her friend Mr. Scissors made the job rather easy. The jeans were a little big but she wasn't gonna complain right now. She was going to take a day off and go on a man hunt. Well she was gonna do that after she got rid of the shirt, jacket and found some way to get the patch off of her cap. About that time Jake burst through the door. She held back the sudden urge to dive for him and strangle him.
"Hey Pez," he tried not to burst into a fit of giggles but she could tell he wasn't doing a very good job. He put down one of the NYPD shirts and doubled over holding his sides. It was a good thing he was facing the door with his ass in clear kicking range. With one great kick of frustration he was flying out the door and crashing on the floor. There rang through the door the laughter of the other men but she was too frustrated to care. About that time Danny walked back in.
"Brought another peace offering." She would have kissed him if he wasn't married. He had given her a cheap coat, yes but it beat the pink fuzzy thing she intended to burn. He left again so she could change. She looked dorky but the coat was black and with it zipped up and hood over her head it wasn't bad at all. When she emerged Dante informed her that she had the whole day off before walking back to his office chuckling. She almost lost control and probably would've thrust her Witchblade through his throat. Almost but it would've helped out her day.
[He's going to wish he didn't pull these stunts on me,] she growled in her own head as she set out to hunt down her stalker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SS- HELLO!!!!!!!!! As you can see my head is back on and I have no intention of having it whacked off again *locked a metal collar around her whole neck*
Slayer- That's not gonna do you much good if I want to.
SS- I know but it'll at least keep my head intact.
Slayer- Wanna bet? *pulls out a welding kit*
SS- *laughs* That's about as dangerous and as absurd as me owning any of the characters I just used.
Slayer- But you have Ian tied up in your room.
SS- I said own.
Slayer- He's still locked up in your room
SS- I said own! OWN WHICH I DO NOT!
Slayer- *shrugged* same diff. *puts the welding kit away and pulls out the BIG battle axe from inside her coat* Well I can always for the midsection.
SS- Oh......... CRAP!! *runs*
Slayer- Well we'll be back as soon as she writes another chapter. By then I'm sure she'll have reattached herself *runs after SS swinging her axe*