Disclaimer: If I owned Rurouni Kenshin all would be right with the world….

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New Use For An Attack

Epilogue: Oh The Power Of Tea…

**note: Scarlet Rurouni is just going to be called Liz for the rest of this fic as it is my real name. That and it takes less time to type! ^_^x;;

Liz is lying in bed, propped up on many, many pillows. She is entirely covered by several blankets, except for her face, which is deathly pale, and she has an ice pack on her forehead. Her breath is barely detectable, making no sound whatsoever and coming out in tiny, short little puffs as she tries to breathe through a stuffed up nose. And this, is exactly how Kenshin finds her, after she has settled down for a nice, long, nap.

::Kenshin walks into the bedroom, having just finished making lunch for the young authoress::

Kenshin: Liz-dono, lunch is ready, that it is! ::big rurouni grin::

Liz: ………

Kenshin: Liz-dono? ::walks a little closer to the sickbed, just beginning to notice that she's not moving::

Kenshin: Liz-dono? ::beginning to get a little frantic, Kenshin places his head over Liz's heart, straining to hear a heartbeat. Unfortunately, it never occurred to him to peel back the many blankets covering her form before doing this, so the poor rurouni hears nothing::

Kenshin: **GASP!** Liz-dono… you can't be… sessha doesn't want you to… ::getting exceedingly desperate:: LIZ-DONO! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::flings himself onto Liz's "corpse", sobbing as he buries his face in his arms::

Ummmmmm, not that I don't appreciate the sentiment Kenshin, but… do you think you could keep it down? I've kind of got a headache and I need to rest.

::Kenshin stops crying and looks at Scarlet Rurouni, mouth agape. One would think he'd be rendered speechless but…::

Kenshin: LIZ-DONO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!! ::somehow manages to get past the many blankets and happily hugs Liz with crushing strength::

Liz: ….Kenshin…can't…breathe….onegai….need….air…!

Kenshin: Oh! ::releases her:: Gomen nasai, Liz-dono! Sessha is just happy you are alive, that I am! ::smiling like an idiot, but in that cute rurouni way of his::

Liz: …. Um. Kenshin?

Kenshin: Hai, Liz-dono?

Liz: What made you think I was dead?

Kenshin: Sessha came in to tell you that lunch is ready, but you did not move, so sessha listened for your heartbeat and… ::slowly, a look of horrific realization comes over Kenshin's face:: YOU ARE NOT LIZ-DONO!!

Liz: ….. huh?

Kenshin: You have NO heartbeat! ::instantly, the loving rurouni is gone, amber eyes now stare coldly at the very confused SR:: I will avenge Liz's death by killing the foul demon that now inhabits her body! ::unsheathes his sakabatou:: Prepare to die!

Liz: WAIT ONE ORO-LOVING MINUTE!!!! ::battousai pauses, poised to stab the reversed sword edge into her heart:: Did it ever occur to you that it might be a bit difficult to hear a person's heartbeat when they're underneath a pile of blankets?!

Kenshin: …….. Aa. Good point. ::Amber eyes are replaced by amethyst::

Liz: **sigh** Now I really have a headache…..

Kenshin: Sessha is very sorry for trying to kill you Liz-dono.

Liz: That's okay Kenshin, you wouldn't have been able to kill me anyway.

Kenshin: Oro? But… you have no way to defend yourself.

Liz: Baka rurouni. Of course I have a way to protect myself! Even if I am sick!

Kenshin: ::stares at Liz, wondering what defense an unarmed, weakened fanfic author could possibly have against the great hitokiri battousai:: What would you have done, Liz-dono?

Liz: ::Gives the rurouni her best "isn't it obvious?" look:: Ended the fanfic.

~owari~

A/N: Okay, it's about one in the morning, I've got a nasty cold, and suddenly I thought, I wonder what Kenshin would do if he saw me like this. Naturally, I wrote this little "epilogue" as a result, of course, the fact that I had about ten gallons of herbal sweetened with LOTS of sugar wouldn't have anything to do with it. ^_~x Yet again, pointless and random humor. A welcome break from the sappy bit of fluff I am currently trying to write. Anyway, make this sick person feel happy and tell me what you thought! ^_^x