Chapter 5-The hospital
"you, you, di- did??" Eric stammered. "yeah, I did, for about 2 years when I was 13-15" Robbie answered. "uhh, rev. Camden, I don't want to end this so quickly, but I need to talk to Ruthie, can I?" Robbie asked. "uhh.. Sure, sure Robbie, I'll tell Annie and the kids." Eric answered. "thanks" Robbie said. Eric left the room.
Robbie waited a few minutes then headed down the hall to Ruthie's hospital room. No one was there so he just walked in. "Ruthie?" he said. Ruthie looked up from the bed. "pleas don't give me another lecture about how stupid this was or how wrong it is, I have already heard it plenty of times today. And please don't say you feel bad for me and you're sorry and everything, because I just can't believe it's true" Ruthie said. " ok, I won't but I do need to say a few things Ruthie, I feel like this is all my fault. I know it's not, but I do take some responsibility for this. You see I wanted to talk to you this morning, I wanted to ask you something but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to ask you if you have been cutting yourself because I suspect that you have. I know you know this is wrong, and I know that Lucy's best friend used to do this, Mary told me. But I know the feeling and the addictiveness of it. The pain just clears your mind. I can still remember it." Robbie told her. Ruthie seemed very interested "you, you did it Robbie?? When?"
"when I was 13, I did It for 2 years. It started when I fell of my bike, I had done that many times before but this time it was so different. The pain cleared all the bad thoughts in my mind, that's when it started I guess." Robbie replied. " oh, I know what you mean. it kind of started the same way with me, you know, I was cutting a bagel in half when I sliced my finger, and you know the rest I guess. What happened to you, why did you stop?" Ruthie asked. "this hospital setting is familiar to me, I ended up here once, I was in counselling for a year and I half. I learned a lot in counselling. Robbie answered. "counselling I forget" Ruthie said. Robbie nodded, they heard a knock at the door. "Can we talk to her?" Eric asked. Robbie slipped out.
"honey, I don't know if the 10 stitches taught you anything about today, maybe made you realize you were more then, more then nothing, you weren't worthless. You will have to go to counselling though, you know that Ruthie, how is your wrist?" Eric asked. "my wrist hurts, but it's ok. Yes, I learned a lot from this , when I started to feel faint I knew I didn't want to die. I know I have to go to counselling now, and did Robbie talk to you?" Annie, still sobbing, nodded.
Annie and Eric left and the kids got to talk to their sister, one by one, Lucy came in first. "oh Ruthie, are you ok?" she started crying "I love you Ruthie, I love you so much, I wish I had have been there for you. Please you have to stop this, don't be like Nicole" Lucy said. Ruthie hated what she did to her family. Lucy left and Matt came in with Sarah. "hey, kid, I'm so sorry that I haven't been around you life, and that things have sucked for you. I feel awful. I'd really miss you if you died. You have so much to life for. I love you so much" Sarah nodded. Ruthie couldn't take much more. She nodded. They left and Mary came in. "sorry I haven't been around kid, I've missed you guys. I really would miss you if you died. I know you know that what you did was wrong and stupid, and I hope you never do it again. I love you sis." Ruthie started crying . Mary left. Simon came in. He looked more mad then sad. "what did you think you were doing? It was really stupid and selfish. We would all have been so upset and missed you. When we all found out we were bawling our eyes out. First dads surgery, then grandpa dies and now this. I can't take much more of it. I hope you love us enough to never do anything like that again. Cause I love you a lot sis." he started to cry. "I'm sorry and I love you all a lot. I know I was stupid and selfish and I was so scared and I'll never do anything like that again!" Ruthie said. She yawned. "you need to get some rest, it has been a long day. Goodnight kid." Simon said and then left.