Ayanami Rei indeed....
A human was a strange thing. A DNA code made up of four nucleotides arranged in a certain order would create a human...a woman. But the soul, that was the key. Ritsuko smirked. Soul...did Rei even have something called that? After all, to create Rei, an artificial body wasn't created. An artificial soul was the real design.
The Magi was a project which transferred the thoughts and emotions of a certain Naoko Akagi into three brains which formed the core of the most powerful processing supercomputer in existence.
And while mother was busy making a computer...Ritsuko had her own designs as well.
If the Magi was Naoko's brainchild...then Rei was probably Ritsuko's.
It was originally Gendo's idea. At first Ritsuko wasn't interested in the project...simple human cloning had been done before but had been deemed a failure. But then came the clincher: How about cloning a soul?
Was such a thing even possible?
The body of Rei was just a container. A dummy plug. It could move, breathe, eat, and react to natural stimuli. But how about feelings...emotion...hate...and quite possibly even love?
At that thought, Ritsuko laughed as the sound of her harsh voice echoed across the dank walls. Emotions indeed. No...Rei was a failure at that point. She was a doll. Something barely above a dummy plug itself.
But that was what Gendo wanted.
So she obeyed like the good little woman that she so badly wanted to be for him. And she initiated Creation.
"Does Naoko know about this?" Gendo asked her, his voice as usual, a low grating rumble, but there was urgency there. There was always urgency when it came to the Rei project.
"...No."
Gendo nodded at her. "Keep it that way Ritsuko."
In front of them, floating in LCL was a small girl with blue hair and a strikingly familiar face. Gendo had insisted his wife's DNA be used. Ritsuko wasn't too surprised. His obsession however, almost bordered on necrophilia. Yui Ikari...
Ritsuko grimaced. By God, that face was disgusting. It was beautiful...classically Japanese in every essence of the word. But it roiled something in her gut and made her almost want to vomit. But not here. Not in front of Gendo.
"Does she have a soul?"
"No. She's just a container."
"What do we need?"
"...Human DNA is incompatible. We need a primer...a catalyst. God created man from dirt and breathed life into him."
"Adam then?"
"....This is a woman."
Gendo's eyes tightened. "You ask for much Ritsuko."
"There is no other way. To complete a soul, we need the first woman's DNA. We need Lillith's DNA."
That was the secret. Adam and Lillith were the first creations to receive the breath of life from God. Eve came from Adam. Her life came from a human...not from a God.
Humans were children of Eve. They did not have that key divinity.
Thus it all came to pass...
Yui Ikari's DNA was mixed with Lillith's DNA to create the perfect soul for a doll designated Ayanami Rei...
Well...all but one thing.
And thus it came to pass that she created an Abomination.
The DNA code would work. This was it...a recreation of the creation of man. Ritsuko's eyes tightened as she scanned the chain sample in the microscope. Reaching down to remove the slide, she gasped softly as her thumb gashed against the harsh edge of the glass.
Holding the wound up to the light, a small pearl of blood...her blood reflected off deep vermilion.
Her breath caught.
Slowly...almost unbelieving, she gazed at it. Sliding off the curve of her finger, the drop fell and splashed against the glass slide on the microscope, mixing with the contents held within.
Gendo's harsh voice broke through her reverie as his footsteps reverberated through the sterile lab wall. "Is the sample ready?"
"...."
"Ritsuko?"
"Y...Yes...." Turning around, Ritsuko quickly slid the glass slide into the sample bag. "Yes, the sample is ready."
It worked. Worked beautifully...as if Fate had been waiting for her. Her blood had miraculously blended in with the others...as if it had been a part of it to begin with. Ritsuko stared at her thumb...no scar remained but it was their in her soul...
Or more accurately, Ayanami's soul.
What did that mean then?
And thus...
The girl opened her eyes and gazed through the glass pane. Ritsuko knew Gendo wasn't looking at her...already his eyes were glued to the creation...his word made flesh.
He whispered, "It's perfect."
Stuffing her hand deep into her pocket, Ritsuko swallowed the lump in her throat.
No answer came...
But it was there.
***********
They called Ritsuko Akagi a genius.
The smart one. The shining talent. The one who will create a way to defeat the Angels.
Instead, what she created was for all intents and purposes, an Angel. For that alone, she deserved to be thrown somewhere dark, and the key thrown away.
Ritsuko sat on her cold hard cot, stretching her arms and legs. Some physical activity helped to pass the time in her holding cell. Plus they helped to keep the memories away.
Trapped as she was, the memories of her past sins were her worst enemy. For now she was alone, with no distractions. No Maya to remind her of the Children's sync testing. No Misato to argue with over the best methods of raising teenage children. No Gendo to hold her in the dark, to assure her that they won't get caught, and that when it was all said and done, they will both share Heaven itself.
Ritsuko clenched her fists. Gendo. That bastard Gendo. The man she had entrusted with her heart and soul.
Her ungrateful lover.
He had put her here to rot, as he feverishly began preparations against the Final Angel. After the Seventeenth had been defeated, it would finally prove to God that Man was His equal, and deserved his own place in the firmament. The destruction of the Final Angel would open the way to the Third Impact.
And amidst the Third Impact, Gendo and Ritsuko will ascend to divinity. That was the plan she had sold her soul to be a part of.
The appointment with divinity now belonged to Gendo alone. Ritsuko had been cruelly cut out of the grand design. No longer was she destined to be as one with God, instead, she was cursed to rot here until the Third Impact started.
The promised day when Rei Ayanami, the Eighteenth Angel she created out of pride and misdirected love, shall come for her soul.
Ritsuko stood up, and turned around to look at the dull NERV logo on the wall above her cot. She curled up her hands into fists and punched it. Repeatedly, until her sore hands could take no more.
"My hands hurt, Misato." Ritsuko remembered herself complaining once.
"God, you're a wimp! Come on! At least punch it another ten times!" Misato said as she held the heavy punching bag steady.
"Well okay…" Ritsuko said, uncertain at first, then launching herself into a fury of heavy, hard punches.
"Okay, you can stop now" Misato said.
Ritsuko's normally delicate hands pounded the punching bag again and again. She could feel the pain screaming from her abused knuckles under the padded glove, but she didn't care.
Mother. Mother. Mother. The word played itself over and over in her head as she entered a kind of bloodlust.
"Ritsuko, stop!" Misato said again, some alarm in her voice.
Ritsuko stopped her furious attack, and let her hands fall to her sides. Her hands hurt, but she knew she won't really feel it till much later. There was enough time for her to sneak back and inject some painkiller right into the abused flesh. Science has a way of making everything all right again.
"That was .. a lot of aggression," Misato commented.
"I guess I really got into it," Ritsuko replied, smiling. She desperately hoped that Misato couldn't detect its root cause. She wiped the sweat off her brow before speaking again. "Well.. that was interesting, but I have to see Mother now about the MAGI," Ritsuko said.
"Haha! Still tied to Naoko's apron strings!" teased Misato.
Ritsuko bit her lip at that stinging remark. "Well, tonight I cut them," she thought.
"Hey, we're still going bar-crawling later tonight, right?" Misato asked, slightly uncertain.
"Yes, we are. Don't worry," Ritsuko replied as she got up to leave the NERV gym. Much as she detests tagging along with Misato on her infamous bar crawls, tonight Ritsuko knew she must be seen in public along with her.
Tonight, her alibi must be perfect.
The shower was brief, perfunctory. The long walk to her quarters in the Geofront seemed like an eternity by comparison.
Tonight was the night that she will get what she deserved.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
The conversation replayed in memory over and over and over.
"Hello Rei,"
"Hello mother."
"I'm not your mother, Rei. Do not refer to me as such again."
"Yes. I'm sorry"
"Will you do something for me?"
"Yes."
"It's time you talked to Dr. Akagi"
"I don't understand. Aren't you Dr. Akagi?"
"The…other one. Do you understand what to do?"
"You want me to talk to her."
"That's correct."
"Dr.Akagi, what will I say to her?"
"Just tell her what we rehearsed."
"Yes."
"Doctor?"
"What is it now, Rei?"
"Why does the commander call her a hag?"
Ritsuko's eyes narrowed. She pressed the button that opened the door to Ikari's quarters. As usual, he wasn't anywhere to be found, but Rei, his dear little Rei, was always here.
The open door beckoned. Rei nodded in understanding, and the nine-year old girl cheerfully stepped outside the room. She gave Ritsuko one final look, the question still in her innocent red eyes.
"Because she is," Ritsuko answered curtly before closing the door.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Visitor for you" announced a voice.
Ritsuko's eyes widened. It couldn't be Gendo again. She was sure that she was out of his mind now. Only the scenario mattered to him, and her part in it had been cruelly erased.
"Stand back." Ordered the voice, as the door opened.
It wasn't Gendo that stood in the doorway. Illuminated by the harsh light of the corridor outside was the slim silhouette of a woman.
"Major" Ritsuko greeted cheerlessly.
"Close the door please," Misato softly said, followed by the grating sound of the steel door closing.
"Official tour of the facilities?" Ritsuko asked, with as much venom as she could muster.
"No. This is my own initiative," answered Misato, as she steeled herself. Ritsuko has always been a wily, crafty woman, the kind that would resist interrogation the most. This could turn unpleasant very quickly. She tried to allay Ritsuko's natural suspicion, and for want of anything else to say, pointed to the lone bronze star on her collar.
"And by the way, Ritsuko, it's Colonel Katsuragi now," Misato said.
"Congratulations." Ritsuko said. "Was it for putting me in here?" She snidely asked.
"No. Stop blaming me, Ritsuko. What did you expect me to do, just shoot you?" Misato replied, trying to control the dull stab of anger in her heart.
"If Kaji was still around we could have a small party to celebrate your promotion. Just something between friends"
Misato clenched her teeth at the painful reminder, her self-control fading, her face now turned red in anger. She tossed a paper file besides Ritsuko, who held it up to the dim light so that she can read it.
"Read it," Misato commanded.
It was a personnel file, Ritsuko mused to herself, a new Child.
She wanted so much to say that she didn't know this Child.
But she knew it all too well. She knew the signs. She saw the telltale red eyes staring back at her from Kaworu Nagisa's photo.
"The Fifth Child. Sent directly to us, bypassing Marduk." Misato said, her eyes intently scanning Ritsuko's face for any expression that might betray the secrets she knew Ritsuko was hiding from her.
"That boy… what is he?" Misato asked impatiently. Granted, she had no idea what the strange, quiet boy was, or anything about him at all, other than his birth date. However, what disturbed her the most was the way Shinji and Kaworu got along. The way Shinji warmed up to Kaworu was almost … out of character.
Misato's discreet inquiries came up blank, and the MAGI knew nothing. The last, desperate move, was to ask Ritsuko. She knew far more secrets than anyone had previously guessed, and the commander and subcommander grew more distant and uncaring by the day, keeping to their own company at all times, whispering furtive conversations that abruptly ended whenever they felt her presence.
"They've probably bugged the entire room." Ritsuko said cautiously.
"I don't care," Misato answered.
"That boy… what is he?" Misato asked, insistence and frustration working their way into her voice.
Ritsuko paused for several seconds. She pondered revealing the information to Misato, and whether it would do any good. This late into the game, what could Misato do?
Could she stop Gendo?
The more important question, Ritsuko realised as she stared at her friend's chest heaving up and down with each impatient breath she took, was whether she wanted Misato to be the one to stop Gendo. To take away what he had wanted so desperately all this time.
She had no right, Ritsuko concluded, as she put the file away besides her. Misato had her reasons, but Misato knew nothing, did nothing, and had no part in working towards the Complementation of Man.
"I won't let this innocent woman be the one," Ritsuko thought, as she made up her mind. "I'm the one he promised to share godhood with. I'll be the one to take it away from him."
She refocused her eyes to stare directly into Misato's own. There was that fire in them that burned even before Misato joined NERV, the strength of will and spirit that Ritsuko had always pretended to have, but here was the real thing. And this time, the fire was directed at her. She looked away.
"I think.. he's the Final Messenger," Ritsuko finally answered. "Chew on that, Katsuragi," Ritsuko thought bitterly.
Misato's look of disappointment was all Ritsuko needed to know.
"Why do you still do this?" Misato asked, as she crossed her arms and leaned back against the door. "The game of secrets and lies is over. You've lost." Misato said, her tone flat and businesslike.
"Perhaps," Ritsuko answered.
"Stop hiding your secrets, Ritsuko. You've hurt enough people already." Misato said, exasperation creeping into her voice.
"There's a few more that I want to hurt," Ritsuko answered.
Misato's eyes narrowed, her patience at its limit.
"That's your purpose in life, isn't it? To hurt? You told me once, everything you do, everything you say, had a reason. Are you so pathetic that you can't find happiness without taking it from someone?" Misato said in rage.
"You were my friend once," Ritsuko said, turning away from Misato, to look at the blank wall in the dark room.
"And did that serve its purpose as well?" Misato asked.
There was bitter silence for a few seconds as both women stubbornly stared off into nothing, both expecting the other to say something, then came the realisation that the conversation was over,
Misato snorted and spun on her heels, her fists pounding hard against the thick steel door.
"Guard! I'm done here," Misato shouted.
The door opened, Misato stepped out, and Ritsuko was alone again in the dark room.
Friendless.
xxxxxxxxxxx
Her sleep was interrupted yet again.
For the first time since she was imprisoned here, Ritsuko heard laughter and happy voices on the other side of the door.
It had been.. what, thirty days? Longer, or shorter? Did it matter anymore?
It mattered little. It had been long enough for Ritsuko to perceive joy, happiness, even the sound of human laughter, to be something alien. She sat impassively as the footsteps approached her door.
"Hey Akagi! Blondie!" a gruff male voice. It wasn't Gendo.
"I'm listening," Ritsuko replied, as politely as she could without expressing the contempt she feels for the nameless man's parentage.
To her surprise, several bars of chocolate and something that smelled like Kirin beer in a plastic cup was pushed through the food slot in her door.
Ritsuko gasped, this time she really was taken aback. What cruel trick was this?
"Hey come on, Doc. Eat up, make merry and all. It's your share of the victory party goodies!" said the voice on the other side.
Ritsuko gingerly took the offered goodies.
"Vic.. Victory party?" she asked, confused. Yet some part of her could already guess what he meant.
The sound of running feet. Ritsuko guessed that it was a woman. She never really noticed the differences in walking style until her imprisonment.
"Senpai!!" shouted an exuberant female voice. Maya.
"Think I can trust you with her?" asked the male voice.
"Yes, sir!" Maya said.
"All right then. Too bad you're not joining the party," the male voice said, as his footsteps grew more and more faint.
"Senpai! It's Ibuki!" Maya said excitedly.
"Is this from you?" Ritsuko asked, her voice quavering slightly as she picked up and unwrapped a bar of chocolate.
"I'm sorry, senpai, I know this isn't much…" Maya stammered in apology.
"Nice to know some things don't change," Ritsuko muttered to herself.
"Maya, tell me, what's going on?" Ritsuko asked, in between chewing the delicious chocolate. Her stomach protested the presence of the rich chocolate, and she'll regret eating it later, but right now, she didn't care.
"We beat the Seventeenth Angel," Maya said, beaming on her side of the thick door.
"All Seventeen?" Ritsuko asked.
"Yes, Senpai." Maya answered.
"I suggest you count again," Ritsuko said, finishing the last of the candy bar. She was tempted to lick the wrapper, it felt so good.
Maya fell silent. Ritsuko paused. Perhaps, the best thing she could ever do for the poor girl was not to burden her with the knowledge. After all, nobody wanted to be told when they were going to die.
"Thank you Maya. It was .. kind of you to visit," Ritsuko said. Maya recognised her tone of voice, and made her discreet exit.
The fools think the last Angel had been destroyed.
Ritsuko knew the truth. The defeat of the Angels will prove once and for all, that Man's true enemy is Man.
The true enemy of all that lived, was a girl called Ayanami Rei.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Even from behind the thick steel door, she can hear the announcement over the public address system. The MAGI were being hacked, and the pitiful technicians were probably running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to isolate the attackers.
It would only be a matter of time before they realised they needed a professional.
She laughed wicked, bitter laughter.
The door abruptly opened. Ritsuko turned to the now open door, squinting against the harsh light of the corridor outside. "The 666 protection system, correct?" she asked, the old haughty tone returning briefly.
"That's correct. Lt. Ibuki will have the details," her jailer said, urgency in his voice.
"So even his discarded woman has her uses. How egotistical," Ritsuko
spat the words, even as her body rose up from the hard
cot.
This time, she thought as she made the long walk back the Command Centre, logic be damned. As the technicians opened up the outer cover of the Caspar Magi, she set her vengeance into action.
She effortlessly did the necessary, entering lines of code, rewiring vital connections, shutting down unnecessary input/output ports, and laying down the framework of the 666 Magi Protection System that she first used against the Eleventh Angel. Her fingers danced effortlessly on the keyboard, but inside, her mind was in turmoil, her heart raced so fast she was convinced that it would burst out of her chest. She had never felt so excited, so empowered and in control.
She enjoyed the sensations, as her mind focused on the one thing she cared about now. Vengeance. She looked up from the screen, looking at the circuits, organic processing units, wires and power lines that now housed her mother.
She felt the need to say goodbye.
"Mother, the interactions between men and women are so illogical," Ritsuko commented as she finished entering in the last of her special routines.
"Well, I'll see you later," she said, her right hand brushing against the steel casing that housed the MAGI's organic central processor. This time, she meant it. She had hacked into control systems for the Geofront's main nuclear reactor, setting it to meltdown and destroy everything Gendo had ever dreamed of, along with herself, but the price didn't really matter now.
There was only one final task left to go.
In the confusion, nobody noticed Ritsuko slipping away. She caught a glimpse of Maya on the raised control tower as she surreptitiously left. She had been a good adjutant, and the idea of not being able to say goodbye saddened Ritsuko for some reason. She felt like giving her a hug, but there was no time for that.
Now was the time for Gendo to know what Ritsuko Akagi was capable of.
In a darkened vault in the lower recesses of Central Dogma, the still form of Ayanami Rei waited in her cloning vat. Her school clothes were neatly folded away. She floated silently in the dim light of the clone tank, surrounded by various body parts. Spare parts from spare bodies, now forever floating, preserved exhibits of Ritsuko Akagi's hate.
The sound of footsteps above drew her attention, and she spun herself lazily in the LCL, raising her head up, expecting to see Commander Ikari, here at last to take her to her destiny.
Instead, it was the haggard, scowling face of Doctor Akagi. She was pointing a gun at her. Rei looked on, unconcerned with the obvious threat to her life. Ritsuko stood on the clone tank's edge, looking down on Rei. Ritsuko's lips were trying to maintain a confident sneer, but her eyes were on the verge of tears.
"You and I are both damned, you do know that, don't you?" Ritsuko asked, holding the gun steadily pointed at Rei's head. She held her gaze, staring right into Rei's red eyes. It was something she had always been reluctant to do until now.
Rei did what she always did. Nothing. Ritsuko's rage railed at her, cursing her, commanding her to pull the trigger, but the remnants of her logical mind still exerted control. There were things she needed to settle with the First Child.
"Misato just put us on battle stations. The JSSDF are coming. Before they kill us all, the Commander will play his trump card. You. Today is the day we created you for. " Ritsuko said, spitting out the word "Commander".
"You know what he's planning… don't you?!" accused Ritsuko.
Rei nodded once.
"Well I won't let him! This ends here, Ayanami. I probably can't stop him from killing us all, but I will stop him from damning our souls!" Ritsuko shouted, chambering the round in her small pistol. As she did so, her left hand released its grip on the gun, slowly making its way back into her pocket, where she kept the datapad, the instrument of her revenge.
"I really am sorry for this…" Ritsuko said, her hand trembling as she struggled to steady her weapon. "But I must. Just because it's our destiny to be doomed, doesn't mean we accept it! Your way is wrong!" Ritsuko wiped away an angry tear with her free hand. "You never thought of another way! You never cared for anyone! You don't deserve to be his!" Ritsuko yelled out, almost hysterical. Something within her urged her on, to squeeze the trigger, destroy the last Ayanami clone, and destroy Ikari's dreams.
"Doctor Akagi, you're wrong" Ayanami said softly. Her voice carried faintly in the LCL, but her lip movements were there, and Ritsuko recognised the words. The shock of Rei actually speaking in defence of herself brought Ritsuko back from the edge of madness, allowing her to relax her frenzied grip on the trigger.
"Don't tell me... You think you can stop him? " Ritsuko asked, incredulous.
She gazed into the First Child's eyes. In a single, brief moment, she saw everything, everything she had ever done, all the pain and hurt and misery she had caused, reflected back at her through Rei's unnatural red eyes. In that brief moment, came understanding. She understood now, that Rei had come to the same conclusion she herself had. It slowly dawned on Ritsuko that Rei knew there was a choice, but the choice would be hers alone. It must be hers alone.
Ritsuko lowered her gun down. She couldn't bear to kill Rei now, not when the poor child was finally going to become her own person instead of someone else's plaything. Recognising it was motherhood's most painful emotional moment.
However, Ikari still had to be stopped. "Hell has no fury as a woman scorned," Ritsuko silently mouthed to Rei. Her own vengeance notwithstanding, Ayanami will get her chance.
"I'll see you at Terminal Dogma," Ritsuko finally said, putting the gun back into her coat pocket. "We'll see if we damned women can redeem ourselves." Ritsuko calmly turned around and took steady steps out of the chamber. She then carefully locked the door behind her, ignoring Misato's increasingly frantic commands over the main public address system. The battle fought by the men and women fighting for their lives several floors above her was no longer a concern. She felt no danger, no sense of self-preservation coming to the fore in NERV's desperate last hours.
Ritsuko kept walking towards Terminal Dogma. Death was now welcome, but there was one final confrontation, one final barrier to achieve the salvation of her soul. It was time to prove that damnation was illogical.
END.
Author's notes: Thank you to fellow authors Kalus, Foxboy, Chibi Fenrir and everyone else who contributed. I'm sorry I didn't credit you guys earlier cause I suck.