Disclaimer: I don't own MIB: The Series or MIB: The Movie(s). I'm sure I don't own the characters either, other than those not seen on either MIB media thingy. I do own this story and all my made up characters so please don't plagiarize or sue me. Feel free to review and enjoy the fiction!

The X-Citing Entry Syndrome

Part One: The Silver Screen Meets Series Hit

A haze fell over New York City, residential home of several intergalactic species. Yes, mankind is not alone in this great universe. There are more than just frozen balls of dust zipping around out there amongst the twinkling stars dotting the bright heavens. People work, play, and live amongst the aliens in the city. Unaware of the vast races which surround them in their everyday lives. Men, women, children, and Neuralyzed agents exist oblivious to the fact that we are not alone.

One such example is ex-Agent Elle, now going by civilian name Laurel Weaver, morgue employee. She was returned to her civilian life after expressing a desire to return to a simpler way of thinking to her new partner, the Neuralyzer happy Agent Jay.

The Men In Black were soon to call her back though, Zed--the leader--was having his own share of problems. Too many cases, not enough agents. Thanks to Agent Jay and his overzealous desire to erase the memories of the 'unfit' employees.

Shuffling through a pile of papers on his desk Zed grumbled to himself about how out of hand things had gotten since the case with Serleena and The Light of Zartha. Pressing a button on his desk he waited a brief three seconds before a brown haired, over achieving agent, bustled in the door of his office.

"Sir, yes Sir?" Agent U saluted.

"Agent U," Zed began, "I'm assigning you to retrieval duty."

"Retrieval duty Sir?" U questioned.

"Yes," Zed nodded handing him a folder on the ex-agent Elle, "I want you to find this Neuralyzed agent and bring her in for deneuralyzation."

"Yes Sir," U saluted. "Shall I take Agent W on this assignment Sir?"

"I don't think that will be necessary son," Zed dismissed the matter with a wave of his hand, "You should be able to handle this one solo."

"Understood." U turned and eagerly started out the door.

"Oh and agent," Zed spoke up, U turned, "don't tell Agent Jay about this." he grinned imaging Jay's reaction once he found out that Elle was back, and probably with a vengeance.

"Right." U grinned and left the office.

Zed went back to the other folders on his desk. There was a new doctor coming in to take over the lab while he assigned Agent Elle an alien partner. Lyndon was always pestering him to hire an alien agent to better deal with the intergalactic public and now was as good a time as any to get the irritating ARC leader off his back. Besides, this new JeeDangian had quite an impressive resume, if you overlooked the suspensions.

"Dr. Zeeltor and Agent X," Zed said aloud to himself, "welcome to the MIB family."

******

Meanwhile across the city a blonde (previously a brunette with lighter hair due to a dye incident with a Nevain light ray) slumped down in her desk chair at the morgue. "I can't do this anymore." she sighed. A new victim had just been brought in, a three-year-old girl that needed an autopsy and it was Laurel's job to perform it. She couldn't bare the thought of carving up such an innocent little creature. And what was more, she suspected the child wasn't even human. There was a locket around her neck that flashed neon green whenever she had approached with the scalpel. Things were just getting way to weird for Laurel to do her job. And the demanding work was beginning to take it's toll on her.

Just then a man in a black suit with a military style haircut approached her. "Laurel Weaver?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Agent Utonian from the Institute of Medical Evaluation. I'm gonna have to ask you to come with me for a mental competency exam." U lied flashing his carte noir.

"You're joking right?" Laurel asked suspiciously. "I've never heard of this institution and quite frankly it sounds like a load of-"

"I assure you I'm quite serious. The establishment is new but you are required by state laws to undergo this test. Now if you'll just follow me." U insisted.

"Alright," Elle groaned, "it's not like I had anything better to do."

U lead the way pausing a moment when he passed by the child's body on the gurney, "Empress Liol, what a shame."

"Who?" Laurel asked checking the chart, "This says her name is May Walker."

"This way," U replied.

******

Back at the MIB transportation docks…

"My, what an exciting flight." a strange looking alien doctor/scientist remarked as he got off the transport followed by his traveling companion, a very smug JeeDangian who had complained the whole trip about being forced to sit next to an absolute moron.

"Are you kidding?" X snapped, "That was the worst trip of my life. And I can't believe I had to come all this way just to work for a bunch of pathetic little eared humans!"

"Come now Agent X," Zeeltor chuckled merrily, "it was an excellent trip. And the movie was so enlightening about the human culture."

"There was a man dressed in a giant turtle suit!" X growled, "I was ready to gouge my eyes out!"

"Greetings travelers," a perky female agent with a bun greeted the aliens, "if you'll please follow me to customs we'll check your bags and get your assignments ready."

"Perfect," X grumbled, "I can't wait to see what human reject I've gotten saddled with for a partner. Let's just hope he's a halfway decent public defender."

The agent, Agent Zora, smiled widely and led the two aliens along with a few others over to the front desk and helped them deposit their bags on the counter.

******

Laurel arrived at a strange looking building by the airport with Agent Utonian at around two o'clock that day and was taken straight to deneuralyzation. She passed through the main floor and was naturally surprised to see the variety of odd looking creatures scattered throughout the lobby.

"Is this some kind of science fiction convention?" she questioned spotting an odd pair standing at a custom's counter. The green alien with large pointy ears eyed her disdainfully.

"What are you lookin' at Little Ears?"

"Not much," she shot back as U pulled her own towards the appropriate room.

X huffed and turned back to make sure the desk clerk wasn't getting grubby opposable thumbprints all over his crystals.

"I think you like her," Zeeltor laughed.

"Shut up and mind your own business nutcase," X snarled.

Zeeltor laughed lightly and went back to collecting his beakers.

"Here we are," U stated as he pointed for Laurel to sit down in the deneuralyzer.

"This doesn't look like any piece of medical equipment that I've ever seen," she worried as U started the machine.

"That's because this isn't a piece of medical equipment," U answered, "The truth is, you're an ex-agent of a secret organization that monitors and polices all alien activity on Earth."

"What?" Laurel laughed.

"Why do you think the last few years of your life have been a complete blank?" U pointed out, "You're one of the proud, the few, the Men In Black."

"But I'm a woman," Laurel added just as the machine took effect.

"We named it before there were female agents," U rolled his eyes as Laurel's memories came flooding back to her.

The machine stopped a short while later and Laurel stared blankly at the opposite white wall.

U cocked an eyebrow, walked over, and waved a hand in front of her face.

Blinking slowly Laurel looked up at the concerned agent, "W-where am I?"

"Welcome back to the MIB," U began, "Agent Elle."

******

The LTD pulled into the MIB parking garage with a very disheveled pair of agents. Agents Kay and Jay exited the vehicle and headed for the elevator.

"Man, those Parsoosi immigrants get more violent every year," Agent Jay, the forever rookie of the pair stated grumpily as he pulled a thread off a tear in his jacket.

"You should see a Frous-frous invasion Slick," Kay answered mildly.

"Are you ever gonna cut it with the nicknames?" Jay whined.

"When ya grow up." Kay countered.

Ding.

"Time to report to the Z-Man," Jay groaned heading off the elevator behind his experienced partner.

"That's the way it's done." Kay said as they headed through the main floor.

"THERE HE IS!" an irritated female voice shouted from the entrance to the denaturalization room.

"Sounds like one of your fans Junoir." Kay grinned to Jay.

"No…" Jay panicked, "…it couldn't be!"

Agent Elle stormed over to her old partner and whacked him upside the head with a folder that she'd snatched from a passing paper pusher, "How dare you Neuralyze me for making one little comment about how different life was as an agent!"

Kay glared at Jay, "So that's what happened to Elle."

"Hey," Jay replied defensively, "she wanted to go back!"

"NO!" Elle hissed, "I WANTED to feel normal again, not give up life protecting the Earth. I never said, 'Jay please Neuralyze me and take away my right to protect humanity!'"

"Coulda fooled me," Jay muttered.

"Agent Elle?" a familiar voice asked from behind, "Welcome back to the MIB."

"Yeah thanks," Elle spun around to face her old boss, Zed, "but U already gave me the Welcome Home Speech."

"Well I think you'll be pleased to know that I'm not partnering you up with Agent Jay again." Zed chuckled. "And I think Jay will be relieved."

Jay nodded eagerly. "Got my one and only partner right here," he patted Kay on the shoulder, "Me and this dude are inseparable, the perfect team."

Unless Aileen drops by. thought Kay.

"Then who do I work with?" Elle inquired and was soon to regret asking.

"Agent Elle," Zed gestured over his shoulder to the rude JeeDangian that approached, "this is your new partner, meet Agent X."

"You?!" Elle gasped.

"Oh great," X muttered, "not only do I get shipped to this miserable little dust ball to protect a bunch of puny little humans but now I've got the puniest one of all for a partner."

"I'm thrilled about getting paired up with you too." Elle narrowed her eyes.

"Small ears, beady eyes, could your species get any uglier?" X complained.

"I hate you." Elle informed him.

"I think this is a match made in Heaven." Jay joked only to be silenced by death glares from both Elle and X.

"Now agents," Zed intervened, "I've got an assignment for all of you that I think'll require a lot of brain and bronze power."

"Good thing I'm loaded with both." X murmured confidently.

"Spare me." Elle faked a cough.

"This is serious agents," Zed continued, "Elle, I think it applies to you most of all. The city's got a bug problem. It's a subspecies of Edgar's. They've infested a local hotel uptown and are treating the guests like a human buffet. I want the four of you to span out in that building and do some high tech exterminating. Remember, bugs of any alien species are dangerous. And these are hungry. Watch each other's backs and report in if you run into any trouble. Is that understood?"

"Affirmative." Kay answered, "Time to weed out the roaches."

"Bout time we got a good case." Jay threw in.

"Figures a bunch of bugs would want to invest this disgusting planet." X jeered.

Elle elbowed him in the side, "I say we use bat boy here as bait."

"I'm sure they'd rather nibble on trash like you." X countered.

Before a heated argument could begin Kay and Jay hustled the two bickering agents back down to the garage. It was going to be a long 37 hour day.

________________________________________________________________________

*Not bad for a movie and series crossover fic huh? Review and let me know what ya think. I'll try and update this and my other fics soon.*