Chapter 2

I lied there on my stomach with my eyes wide open. It was morning. My parents left me last night, but I didn't even notice them leave. My mother had offered me a hug, but I didn't want one. I wasn't sure if I had my eyes open the whole night or if I fell asleep then woke up. All I could think about was him. It was just yesterday that he was living & breathing, now he's not. It happened so quickly. I had to make sure I understood so I kept telling myself that he was gone. But I wanted to see him for myself. That thought gave me butterflies & I guess, no, I knew I really didn't want to see him. Too terrified of what I might see. All my parents had told me was that someone murdered him in an alley. They didn't want to tell me how.

Was it gruesome?

I couldn't help, but wonder how he died. If it was quick & easy or if it was slow & painful. And almost like a reflex, I pictured him on the alley floor, moving about, trying to stay alive as long as possible, but can't even get up . . .

Don't think like that!

I cringed. I couldn't imagine it. Not to him, not to Jann Lee.

You were invincible . . .

Another thing I wondered was what he was thinking before he breathed his last breath.

What was he thinking?

"Leifang . . . Leifang, you don't know how many phone calls I've answered," it was Hitomi.

I had finally come out of my thoughts & I was staring at a painting of myself. I was really hot. My hair was all over my face, making me hotter than I already was. I was sweating & I could barely feel my arms & legs. My eyes had gone dry from not blinking. I blinked a couple of times to get them wet again. Then I tried to get up, but my neck hurt from having it turned for a long time. I was sitting up soon, brushing the hair out of my face to see Hitomi on her bed.

"You're finally out of your trance?" she asked me, almost a whisper.

She had been lying down, but sat up when I was up. She was in her PJs, which made me wonder what time it was. I asked her what time it was.

"It's only eight. Breakfast will be ready at nine instead of now," she told me, "Are you feeling well?"

"A little."

"Hey, I'm really sorry about, well . . . you know."

"It's okay, you didn't k- . . . him. Someone else did."

I wasn't able to say that word.

"He was a really nice guy . . . Nice fighter, too."

"Yeah . . ."

"Makes you wonder how he could lose, huh?" Hitomi covered her mouth as if she said something wrong.

But I didn't take it that way.

Yes, it does . . .

Then it was quiet. We sat there on our beds. There wasn't much to talk about then.

"Your friends had been calling you," she said, "Well, some of them, the ones that watched the news. I told them that you weren't feeling good so they wouldn't bother you."

What she said made me wonder about Jann Lee's friends & how they were taking the news. Jann Lee wasn't really a people person, but I knew he had friends. Maybe some of the other bouncers at the clubs. I didn't hang around Jann Lee much to know who were his friends.

"Some vacation, huh?" Hitomi said, breaking the silence.

I looked up at her.

Yeah . . .

"Oh, I'm sorry, Leifang! It didn't mean to come out that way!" she slapped her forehead, "I'm still not over all the drinks I had . . . I'ma go downstairs."

She left me alone in my room, which gave me more time to think about him. But I didn't want to. I was too depressed & weary. I needed to take my mind off of him, just for a second so I could get things done.