Title: It's me, my life. (01)
Author name: Marina
Author email: picsis9@hotmail.com
Category: Drama
Sub Category: Action/Adventure
Keywords: SS/RL, LM/SB, Slash Original characters (paired up with the characters)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None. I don't have the fifth book, which pretty much sucks, so I'm just winging it around, ok? OK.
Summary: Sometimes, the past can hurt. The way Snape and his daughter, Meg, see it, they can either embrace it, or they can run from it. Will they have the strength to?
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The characters and scenarios on which this story is based belong the the one and only J.K. Roling. Except, of course of Meg, Lena and Lex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3: Back in England.
Harry stared at the ceiling with an open magazine on his stomach. A picture of a smiling girl and a quite handsome boy, arm draped around the girl, smiling as well graced the page along with screaming headlines that spoke of the couple's tragedy.
Headlines like "Motocross star killed in Car Crash" and "X-Game King's Sudden Death" were printed on its pages along with pictures of the crash site. The photos seemed too gruesome to watch, blood graced the pavement of the crash site, which undoubtedly belonged to the girl, as the boy was consumed in flames by the explosion that came from crashing against a gasoline tank. At first, Harry wouldn't believe it; he wouldn't believe the reality of the situation and that the people who gave him the best summer of his life were going through so much pain. He remembered those days, and he smiled at the memories.
..........FLASHBACK...................
Just when he thought his life was going to get worse at his arrival to the Dursley's home, Dudley got a new love, and she happened to be a motocross racer. To Dudley's dismay she was taken and the boyfriend was a motocross racer as well. Meg Smith was her name and she was American. Figures.
On Dudley's birthday they went to a race that undoubtedly was product of hours of whining and fake puppy dog eyes (as if the fat brat would ever pull it, even if it worked on his parents). He was amazed at the sheer excitement displayed by the audience. The screams and cheers reigned all over the place, as well as the rumbling but exciting noise the bikes made, followed by tick trails of dust.
Dudley on his part was grinning like an idiot as he watched the race. He seemed to know which one was the girl because his gaze followed everywhere she went and damn! She flies! Her suit's black and blue, just like her bike. He knows because he's listening to the host talk during the race as he explains what's going on. Before he knew what happened, he went on following her, just like his cousin. He notices someone behind her that's closing in, she's ready to make another jump and Harry is anticipating the act anxiously. Just when she jumps, her opponent does so, but at the time he had to land with her, he lost balance and Harry felt himself wincing from the fall. The girl looked behind her and she seemed to slow down until he heard shouts from him commanding her to go on. She hesitated, but nodded and went to catch up on her other opponents. Well, maybe not so much of her opponent.
At the end of the race, Dudley had spotted her with a group of people, talking animatedly and whined to his parents to get an autograph from her. The Dursley's were quite reluctant so they made Harry go and get it for him. Once he is in front of her.
"Excuse me" he starts, nervousness taking over his frail body.
"Yes?" the girl turns at the sound of his voice.
As soon as she turns, the reaction is immediate. Pools of green falling into the deep black circles that were her eyes, staying focused on them as they held everything he wanted. The girl couldn't take his eyes off of him and was altogether ignoring the looks her friends gave her. She was staring too much and she knew it, but she had the feeling that she had seen him somewhere before. Harry broke the intense gaze looking at the magazine in his hand, clearing his throat loudly, as he didn't notice a tall, dark haired boy with sky-blue eyes wrapping his arms around her waist nor the startled little jump she gave at the contact.
"Um, I-I was just wondering if I could, er. have your autograph" he smiled weakly
"Sure!" she said as she took the magazine "To whom may it be addressed?" she playfully added
Harry had to stifle a chuckle of surprise, scarily enough, with that kind of vocabulary, she might as well be like.Snape?
He snapped out of his thoughts. "Uh, right. Dudley, Dudley Dursley."
"All right"
She scribbled down on the magazine.
Handing the magazine back. "Ok, here you go, Dudley"
"What?" asked Harry startled "No, my name's not Dudley, that's my cousin. It seems he was a little too shy to come forward and ask you himself"
The girls who were with her giggled at that.
"It's very sweet of you to come for him," said one of them.
"And very brave!" piped another.
"Usually most of them trip down before they even get to her," said one boy, a bit older than Harry, with silver blonde hair that reminded him of Draco Malfoy, but with a much kind and softer face than the Slytherin git.
Everyone laughed, except Meg, who rolled her eyes at her friends and scowled at the boy who had just spoken.
"I've no doubt about that" Harry replied.
"So, pray tell, what's your name?" asked the boy who had his arms around the girl.
"Oh, my name is Harry, Harry Potter." he extended a hand and the boy shook it.
"Well, nice to meet you Harry, I'm Jason, Jason Bowen." He said with a smile. "My friends call me Jay or JB, so you're welcome to call me that anytime."
"All right. And you can call me Harry."
"Thanks, I will." he then heard a cough. "Oh! And this is my girlfriend, Meg"
Meg beamed. " Meg Smith. Hi!"
A girl with light blonde hair smirked at Jason. "Possessive much?"
"Shut up, Kristen!" Jason scowled, then pointed at her. "This is Kristen. A pain in the ass. Ouch! See?"
Kristen had whacked him upside the head, scowling, then gave Harry an innocent grin. Meg giggled at the sight, then to Harry "It's true, y'know," she said in a whisper.
"Who wouldn't be?" he replied in the same tone of voice earning him a giggle from her.
"This is my friend Jack Martin." Meg motioned to the blonde boy as he waved. He met Max Swanson, a black boy with hazel eyes, and Gabe Blake, a brown haired boy with ocean blue eyes; both were motocross racers. Meg's brother, Lex (as he called himself), was a bit taller than Meg with black hair, blue eyes and porcelain skin. Quite different than Meg . Lex reminded him of someone but couldn't pinpoint whom.
He met Meg friends, who by the way were cheerleaders. A curly, brown haired girl with dark brown eyes introduced herself as Livia. Mandy was a redhead with blue grey eyes that reminded him of Ginny, but taller and leaner. Jane was a blonde with black streaks of hair and unusual dark grey eyes; short in height but charming nonetheless.
He thought it funny the girls would introduce themselves by their first names only, excepting Meg, as the guys gave their full names. He dissmissed the thought as he remembered the Durslesy must be waiting for him.
He then turned away from them and stole a glance at the Dursleys. They were looking at him with menacing glares and Aunt Petunia had her hands on her waist and stomped her foot repeatedly.
"Um, guys? I better go, my family is waiting, but thanks for the autograph." without waiting for a response he walked away.
"Wait," Meg shouted, advancing towards Harry with her gang right behind her, " hold on!"
Harry stopped and Meg followed suit. Unfortunately, the Dursleys were within earshot; still, it would be impolite to ignore her so at his expense he faced her.
"Yes?"
"We were wondering if you." she pauses as she notices his relatives "and your family of course, could join us to an after race party?"
"We?" started Jason.
"Shush!" she commanded waving her hand at him.
Dudley's eyes widened considerably at the invitation and looked at his parents pleadingly the same time Harry had a look of hope. Vernon Dursley would have jumped up and said no if he pleased, but looking at his son made him reconsider and Harry knew he would give in. Without waiting for an answer, she asked for a piece of paper and a pencil and started scribbling down the address.
"Look, you can go home and think about it, this is the address. Just give the guard my name and he'll know what to do." She handed them the piece of paper and added "I promise I will make it worth your while"
"There's no need to think about it." Replied Vernon briskly. " We've already decided to take you up on your generous offer"
"Great! I'll see you there. It was very nice to meet you Mr. And Mrs. .Dursley, right?"
They nodded in response.
"All right, we'll see you there, Harry" she turned to Harry's cousin with a small smile, "um.Dudley."
"B-bye" he stammered as she retreated.
Of course, right after he got home with the Dursleys, they refused to take him. He, however, did the most unthinkable thing ever: he sneaked out. Voldemort and Death Eaters be damned. This time though, he wore more fitting clothes, the same clothes Sirius bought for him on Christmas.
He smirked at the whole situation. There he was playing Cinderella, something that was liable to get him in trouble, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore.
When he got there Meg and his friends found him keeping his distance as far away as he could from his relatives. He just couldn't risk being seen for he had sneaked out. Just the fact of it made the act thrilling and exciting and hopefully he'd get away with it. He had learned that the Dursleys excused his absence by saying he was feeling a tad ill. Ill my ass, Harry thought, but soon forgot about them as he hung out with Meg's gang. They seemed like a fun lot and being with them during most of the party made him forget about everything. In there, he was Harry. Not Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, but just Harry.
******************FLASHBACK************************************
Even after the party, Harry kept sneaking out at night or when the Dursleys were out, to meet them somewhere. They would go to restaurants, arcades, the mall, the movies and even to teen clubs. Meg and her friends could only stay for so long as they had to get back home to the United States in time for their start of her school's term. She had stayed for two weeks and solemnly bowed to make Harry's summer the best he ever had. And she did. This summer couldn't get any better but then it would.
Amidst all the fun, he realized that he was starting to have a crush on Meg. He knew he couldn't do this to her as she seemed so happy with Jason. Jason adored her; he was always touching her face, kissing her tenderly, hugging her and always kept her close to him. It hurt Harry to see them like this but he cared about her enough to let her go. But now.
Jason's gone. He was gone and the most selfish and most insensitive part of him (however small) thought that at least he was out of the way. He hated himself for letting those thoughts grace his mind, as if it wasn't enough that he was a murderer.
In spite of his friends' protestations, Harry couldn't help but carry the guilt with him. It was as if the weight of it would allow him to never forget, because that was what at the least Cedric deserved; he deserved to have Harry torturing himself for what had happened. Meg tried to drive those thoughts from his mind by repeatedly assuring him that it wasn't his fault at all. Yes, Meg knew; an edited version of it anyway. He couldn't help but wonder afterwards what would she have said if Harry had told her he was a wizard.
'Probably treat me like the freak I am.' He thought bitterly.
He sighed. He missed Meg. He missed her as much as he missed his friends and it he thought it was quite unfortunate that she lived in the States. Though he wished he could use his Gringotts money, he knew he'd be pushing it too far and there was no chance Dumbledore would ever let him out of his sight. Oh, well.
Fortunately, his summer was going to keep on getting better. Since he asked Albus Dumbledore's permission to stay at the Weasley's, after he had gotten the traditional invitation, Dumbledore couldn't deny him this one thing. The Weasley's were due to arrive tomorrow morning and Harry was glad he had everything packed and ready. He even did all of his homework! Harry had the good luck to have the Dursleys out of the house enough to do everything and before they came back, he sent Hedwig to stay at the Weasley's.
Harry sighed, again. He stood up from his bed and made his way toward the light switch, turning out the lights. He tucked himself in placing the magazines in a neat pile on the desk besides his bed, he'd stuff them in his trunk come morning, he thought.
~@~ ~@~
The next morning, Harry was exhausted. He hadn't slept at all thanks to his impending nightmares. Still, not even the exhaustion nor the habitual verbal abuse from his relatives could damper his moods. He was leaving the Dursleys to spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys. When they arrived the Dursleys stared at them in disgust; not that Harry noticed since he was hugging his best friend, Ron, after throwing a greeting at Mr. Weasley's way.
"Man, Harry! We missed you!" said the redhead grinning from ear to ear.
"I missed you, too Ron!" he said "Just a question though did you just get taller or am I getting shorter by the day?"
Ron laughed.
"Ahem." Started a female voice.
Harry turned around to where the voice had come from and gaped at the girl in front of him, clearly not believing his eyes. He took off his glasses, cleaned them with his oversized shirt, and held them up in the light to be sure they were perfectly clean. The girl in question rolled her eyes at the boy and tapped her foot lightly, as if impatient. Harry, satisfied with the cleaning, put his glasses on again, and seeing that no matter how clean his glasses were, the girl didn't change a bit.
"Hermione?" he asked flabbergasted.
Ron, as it seemed wasn't the only one who had changed. Hermione had straightened her hair and the frizz seemed to have gone completely making her hair look longer than it seemed. She was wearing a sleeveless V-necked crimson blouse with a beige skirt that reached above her knees and high- heels shoes. She had grown into a very beautiful girl (if not woman) that Harry was pretty sure Hermione would have ever guy, including Malfoy, eating out of the palm of her hand! Except him, of course, as Harry still was hung on Meg.
"No, Cindy Crawford." She replied sarcastically, snapping Harry out of his thoughts. "Of course I'm Hermione, who else would it be?"
"Hey! There's plenty of girls around." He replied indignantly.
"Oh? Like who?" she teased, adding: "You better not be cheating on me or I'll hex you bloody into next week"
"You wouldn't! You love me too much to hurt me." Harry teased back and crossed his arms as if challenging her,
Taking a pensive look, then shaking her head "Too true, too true."
Both boys sniggered as Hermione scowled.
"Oh, shut it, you two! Now Harry, c'mere and give me a hug, pronto!"
Harry laughed as he walked towards her and embraced her.
"It's good to see you Hermione." He said into her hair.
"Oh, it's good to see you, too. I've been so worried!" she replied hugging him tightly.
"Come on! You needn't be." He said holding her shoulders in assurance. Then he swept his eyes over her, nodding appreciatively. "Goddamn, 'Mione! You look good!"
Hermione and Ron looked at each other with wide eyes, and then looked at Harry and back at each other.
"Whoever this girl is, she's been a bad influence on our Harry." She said solemnly.
"Oh, shut up" Harry scowled, pushing her shoulder lightly. Ron grinned mischievously.
"The very little I know of her, I can tell you that she's a muggle celebrity from the United States." Ron said matter of factly.
"American?" she asked as she raised her left eyebrow and turned to Harry.
"Yep."
"Guys, she's just a friend." He told his friends.
"Uh-huh." They replied in unison, disbelieving.
"Besides, she had a boyfriend, I met the guy and I befriended him. He was a great guy, not like you, mind you, but great nonetheless; he trusted me and I don't even know why but he did. It would be a betrayal to his memory if I ever acted on my feelings."
"Was?" Hermione asked, eyeing the raven-haired boy quizzically.
"His memory?" asked Ron puzzled. "Harry, what are you on about!?"
Harry then started explaining what he had read in the articles leaving his friends to gape shocked.
"How awful!"
"Sorry, Mate."
"You know what's the most horrible part? That she was there, she watched her boyfriend be consumed by the flames. She saw the death of a loved one right before her eyes and feeling helpless and useless to do anything."
Ron and Hermione looked at each other knowing how Harry related to the situation. As much as they tried, they couldn't make him know it wasn't his fault and stubbornly carried his guilt as his punishment.
"She must have thought it was her fault." He added softly.
"But it wasn't, was it?" She spoke quickly, adding: "It was an accident."
"Well, of course." He said grinning slightly. "With a face like that, who would dare to cry out 'bloody murder'?"
"Harry's very fond of her face, mind you." Ron added solemnly earning a glare from his friend. Hermione giggled at the insinuation shaking her head. It was too amusing to see Harry in that state. She was glad though. He needed someone to make him forget for a while, even if she was a muggle.
"Now, changing the subject." he started. "Where's everyone?"
****@@**** ****@@**** ****@@****
Snape found his daughter in her room, packing. He propped himself against the door frame looking at her as she packed and got lost in thought as he recalled the week's events. She had not spoken to anybody for a week despite of everyone's futile attempts to get her to open up. Her friends noticed the change and went on being worried same as her parents. They didn't know the reason why Meg was in such a gloomy mood, or why she avoided them at all costs. Even then, they called on the phone, hoping against reason that she would want to speak with any of them and end the alarming silence. Snape, along with the rest of the family was getting frustrated. He had written to Dumbledore, updating him on what was going on. Dumbledore just said: "You win by patience, not persistence." Snape snorted. What would he know? He wasn't the one who'd paced the hall right outside her bedroom door for almost every day.
She only got out of her room for her morning exercise and cheerleading practice. She once went to motocross practice but those practices were rare, almost non-existent. He found out that his daughter was a muggle celebrity of some sort. She was a motocross racer and a very good one at that, given that she was a celebrity. He remembered going to one of her practices. The ease and passion she put into racing just made him long to do the same. It made him remember the old days when he raced and thrilled in the speed, the high jumps, the adrenaline, the sweat.everything. Meg abandoned herself completely to the race, as if it would render her free of worries. When she jumped up high, he could see how she thought she could fly away and never return but she'd always landed. No matter how hard she tried, or how much she wanted it, she would always land.
He heard a voice calling him to the land of the living and quickly snapped out of it only to realize it was his daughter calling to him.
"Hey!" she called, standing at least a foot away from him. "Are you ok?"
It took him a minute to assess that his daughter was speaking to him. For the first time, in a week. He even was the first one she had spoken to, or so he thought. He shook out of his thoughts before she could change her mind and started acting as she had.
"Er...yes." He mumbled and then cleared his throat. "Yes, I am. No need to worry."
Meg frowned. "Well, you did look like in another planet and weren't going to come anytime soon."
"I was just doing some thinking"
"Care to elaborate?" She asked. "That is if you don't mind me asking."
"No, not at all." Snape replied quickly. "It was nothing of importance, however. Just mindless thinking."
Rising an eyebrow, disbelieving. "Oh."
"You don't believe me." He stated narrowing his eyes.
She smirked. "No."
"May I inquire on the reason why you don't think so."
"You don't look like the kind of man who would engage on mindless thinking." Meg replied facing him and waving a hand in the airfor emphasis.
Snape chuckled bowing his head.
"Black, on the other hand..." she trailed off.
He chuckled again."Indeed."
Suddenly there was a small lapse of silence in which Meg returned to packing her things into carton boxes. Severus stared some more before speaking again.
"Do you need any help with that?"
Looking around. "Yes. I guess I could use a little bit of help."
Snape happily obliged. Then he thought he wouldn't have the patience to go through all of his daughter things, so he got his wand out and muttered a spell. Meg's things were neatly packed into the boxes.
Stunned. "Huh...ok. Um, I thought you couldn't use magic outside of...of..."
"Hogwarts?" Snape finished helpfully.
"Yeah, that. Whatever." she shrugged nonchalantly.
"Students and minors alike cannot use magic as they're not properly trained." He explained. "Since I am a fully trained wizard, I am within my right to use magic as I please. However, I do not for I risk sighting by muggles."
"Muggles?"
"Non-magic folk."
"So, if I were to say that I was raised as a muggle, it means that I've been living without magic, is that it?"
"Correct."
"Oh."
Another pause.
"Meg?" Snape called tentatively.
Eyes downcast."Yes?"
"Would you like to talk?"
A quick glance. "Aren't we talking now?"
"I meant..." he paused. "I assumed that you would like to talk about how you feel about leaving."
"Why?"
"I would like to know about your thoughts on this." He swept his hand at his surroundings. "On becoming a witch and learning to control your magic...going home."
Meg mentally bristled at that. She counted to ten before speaking again with the man and meeting his gaze in a cool demeanor.
"This is my home." she countered.
"Yes, I see tha-" He was cut off.
"No, you don't." Meg snapped. "I've made my life here. I have my friends and family right here. I built my past on this place and it's written on these very walls. I've started to build my future here and those things are what your *home* lacks."
"Still, you were born in England and *my home* recognizes you as family." Snape explained. "Furthermore, you also have a family there. A family that is eager to see you and have you back in their lives."
"Why now?" She shouted, thouroughly angry. "Why now and not before? I've never met this family and I'm still reluctant to believe that after almost 15 years, they have decided to have us back. Didn't they want us before?"
"Of course they wanted you!" Snape protested. " But you have to understand that the circumstances of having you back weren't so good."
"Really?"
"Meg, I know you're angry, but you have to understand."
"I have to understand?" Meg asked disbelievingly. "All these years you were gone and neither Lex and I knew why and now after so many years you expect us to accept our fate so readily. Well, screw you!!"
"You will watch your language in front of me young lady!"
"Oh! Now the long lost father demands respect! How ironic!" she laughed bitterly.
"Meg, I'm warning you." He hissed dangerously.
"Yes and what are you going to do? Hit me?" Meg said, defiantly.
Seething. "How dare you?!"
"How dare you burst into my life demanding to be obeyed when you haven't earned that respect! How dare you assume that everything will be all right if you asked me to leave my life and think that I would be pleased to have this whole change. How dare you ruin my life like this!" shouted Meg, furiously only to sit down on her bed sobbing miserably.
Snape watched as his daughter cried on her bed and let go. He watched with growing guilt as he realized the amount of pain he had inflicted on Meg with his abscence, wishing fervently he could take back time and do things differently. He let the tears fill his eyes and fall down his pale face, glad for only a few second to let go of his own pain. He wiped his face furiously with the back of his hand thinking he didn't deserve the relief. He looked at the broken figure of his daughter.
"Meg..." he started only to be cut off again.
"I don't want to hear it." She said shaking her head. "I've heard your excuses and it all comes down to this petty Dark Lord and his stupid followers."
'Ouch' he winced mentally.
"They're nothing!" Meg continued. "Your excuses don't make up for anything and 'sorry' doesn't make a wrong right."
"Are you trying to tell me that it was wrong to protect my family?"
"Protect us? By sending us away"
"I had no other choice."
"Then you should've found one!" Meg accused. "Anything but that. Anything to prevent Lex from crying himself to sleep when he thought you didn't love him and ever making me feel the same way. Anything to keep my classmates from cruelly taunting me, claiming that the reason you left was because I wasn't good enough and loved by you. Anything! Anything that would let us know you were there for us!"
Snape was once again rendered speechless and berated himself some more for his daughter's pain.
"But did you? Of course not! I hated you. I hated you for it!"
These words cut Snape deeply. His heart bled at Meg's angry remarks. How could he? He swore to himself he would never hurt his family, but he did and he hated himself some more.
"I'm sorry." He replied tightly, earning a snort from Meg.
"It's true." Snape insisted. "I swore on my soul I would never hurt my family but you just showed me I did. I never intended to do it. I came for my family and I won't leave for England without you. I need you to give me a second chance."
"If you had come before, all of this would have meant a lot more than it does now." Meg replied coldly.
She wanted him to hurt. To hurt the same way she did. But her revenge wasn't sweet as expected. She realized with every word she say as she pushed her father away, the pain in her heart would only increase. She had learned to love him and call him father in her mind as he saw how happy he made Lex. Why are you doing this? she asked herself. I thought it was all forgiven. It seemed that her thirst for revenge had won her out.
"I'm here now." He replied softly. "Does it mean anything to you?
She didn't respond as she leant on the wall, arms crossed, and gaze out her window.
"At all?"
No response ther either.
"I see." He bowed his head in defeat. "I won't bother you anymore, you can count on this. But know this: you may hate me for the rest of your life, but I love you, I always have. Perhaps the choices I made were the wrong ones, but I've no doubt in my mind that I did it out of love. For you, for Lex and for your mother."
Snape turned around, his face contorted in pain and eyes full of tears and headed for the door.
"It does." Meg spoke.
He froze mid-step. Without turning around he asked: "What does?"
"You... coming here." She replied. "It means everything to me."
Snape closed his eyes and a fresh bath of tears came onto his porcelain face.
"Mom always says: 'Better late than never.' "
Snape faces his daughter who is looking at him hopeful. She seems surprised to see the wet trails on his face and he does not wipe them away. He slowly walks towards her and fastens the pace a bit once she didn't seem to move away. Soon, he had her on his arms and she buried her tear stained face on his chest and cried again. He runs his long, delicate fingers through his daughter silky raven hair and after a few moments he grabs her face and looks straight at her.
"I'm not letting any of you go this time." He bowed and she laughs as she flungs her slim arms around his neck.
Snape kissed his daughter's hair and whispered into it:
"My baby. My baby girl, I missed you so much."
She replied. "I know...I missed you, too."
******************************************************************
R & R!!
Author name: Marina
Author email: picsis9@hotmail.com
Category: Drama
Sub Category: Action/Adventure
Keywords: SS/RL, LM/SB, Slash Original characters (paired up with the characters)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None. I don't have the fifth book, which pretty much sucks, so I'm just winging it around, ok? OK.
Summary: Sometimes, the past can hurt. The way Snape and his daughter, Meg, see it, they can either embrace it, or they can run from it. Will they have the strength to?
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The characters and scenarios on which this story is based belong the the one and only J.K. Roling. Except, of course of Meg, Lena and Lex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3: Back in England.
Harry stared at the ceiling with an open magazine on his stomach. A picture of a smiling girl and a quite handsome boy, arm draped around the girl, smiling as well graced the page along with screaming headlines that spoke of the couple's tragedy.
Headlines like "Motocross star killed in Car Crash" and "X-Game King's Sudden Death" were printed on its pages along with pictures of the crash site. The photos seemed too gruesome to watch, blood graced the pavement of the crash site, which undoubtedly belonged to the girl, as the boy was consumed in flames by the explosion that came from crashing against a gasoline tank. At first, Harry wouldn't believe it; he wouldn't believe the reality of the situation and that the people who gave him the best summer of his life were going through so much pain. He remembered those days, and he smiled at the memories.
..........FLASHBACK...................
Just when he thought his life was going to get worse at his arrival to the Dursley's home, Dudley got a new love, and she happened to be a motocross racer. To Dudley's dismay she was taken and the boyfriend was a motocross racer as well. Meg Smith was her name and she was American. Figures.
On Dudley's birthday they went to a race that undoubtedly was product of hours of whining and fake puppy dog eyes (as if the fat brat would ever pull it, even if it worked on his parents). He was amazed at the sheer excitement displayed by the audience. The screams and cheers reigned all over the place, as well as the rumbling but exciting noise the bikes made, followed by tick trails of dust.
Dudley on his part was grinning like an idiot as he watched the race. He seemed to know which one was the girl because his gaze followed everywhere she went and damn! She flies! Her suit's black and blue, just like her bike. He knows because he's listening to the host talk during the race as he explains what's going on. Before he knew what happened, he went on following her, just like his cousin. He notices someone behind her that's closing in, she's ready to make another jump and Harry is anticipating the act anxiously. Just when she jumps, her opponent does so, but at the time he had to land with her, he lost balance and Harry felt himself wincing from the fall. The girl looked behind her and she seemed to slow down until he heard shouts from him commanding her to go on. She hesitated, but nodded and went to catch up on her other opponents. Well, maybe not so much of her opponent.
At the end of the race, Dudley had spotted her with a group of people, talking animatedly and whined to his parents to get an autograph from her. The Dursley's were quite reluctant so they made Harry go and get it for him. Once he is in front of her.
"Excuse me" he starts, nervousness taking over his frail body.
"Yes?" the girl turns at the sound of his voice.
As soon as she turns, the reaction is immediate. Pools of green falling into the deep black circles that were her eyes, staying focused on them as they held everything he wanted. The girl couldn't take his eyes off of him and was altogether ignoring the looks her friends gave her. She was staring too much and she knew it, but she had the feeling that she had seen him somewhere before. Harry broke the intense gaze looking at the magazine in his hand, clearing his throat loudly, as he didn't notice a tall, dark haired boy with sky-blue eyes wrapping his arms around her waist nor the startled little jump she gave at the contact.
"Um, I-I was just wondering if I could, er. have your autograph" he smiled weakly
"Sure!" she said as she took the magazine "To whom may it be addressed?" she playfully added
Harry had to stifle a chuckle of surprise, scarily enough, with that kind of vocabulary, she might as well be like.Snape?
He snapped out of his thoughts. "Uh, right. Dudley, Dudley Dursley."
"All right"
She scribbled down on the magazine.
Handing the magazine back. "Ok, here you go, Dudley"
"What?" asked Harry startled "No, my name's not Dudley, that's my cousin. It seems he was a little too shy to come forward and ask you himself"
The girls who were with her giggled at that.
"It's very sweet of you to come for him," said one of them.
"And very brave!" piped another.
"Usually most of them trip down before they even get to her," said one boy, a bit older than Harry, with silver blonde hair that reminded him of Draco Malfoy, but with a much kind and softer face than the Slytherin git.
Everyone laughed, except Meg, who rolled her eyes at her friends and scowled at the boy who had just spoken.
"I've no doubt about that" Harry replied.
"So, pray tell, what's your name?" asked the boy who had his arms around the girl.
"Oh, my name is Harry, Harry Potter." he extended a hand and the boy shook it.
"Well, nice to meet you Harry, I'm Jason, Jason Bowen." He said with a smile. "My friends call me Jay or JB, so you're welcome to call me that anytime."
"All right. And you can call me Harry."
"Thanks, I will." he then heard a cough. "Oh! And this is my girlfriend, Meg"
Meg beamed. " Meg Smith. Hi!"
A girl with light blonde hair smirked at Jason. "Possessive much?"
"Shut up, Kristen!" Jason scowled, then pointed at her. "This is Kristen. A pain in the ass. Ouch! See?"
Kristen had whacked him upside the head, scowling, then gave Harry an innocent grin. Meg giggled at the sight, then to Harry "It's true, y'know," she said in a whisper.
"Who wouldn't be?" he replied in the same tone of voice earning him a giggle from her.
"This is my friend Jack Martin." Meg motioned to the blonde boy as he waved. He met Max Swanson, a black boy with hazel eyes, and Gabe Blake, a brown haired boy with ocean blue eyes; both were motocross racers. Meg's brother, Lex (as he called himself), was a bit taller than Meg with black hair, blue eyes and porcelain skin. Quite different than Meg . Lex reminded him of someone but couldn't pinpoint whom.
He met Meg friends, who by the way were cheerleaders. A curly, brown haired girl with dark brown eyes introduced herself as Livia. Mandy was a redhead with blue grey eyes that reminded him of Ginny, but taller and leaner. Jane was a blonde with black streaks of hair and unusual dark grey eyes; short in height but charming nonetheless.
He thought it funny the girls would introduce themselves by their first names only, excepting Meg, as the guys gave their full names. He dissmissed the thought as he remembered the Durslesy must be waiting for him.
He then turned away from them and stole a glance at the Dursleys. They were looking at him with menacing glares and Aunt Petunia had her hands on her waist and stomped her foot repeatedly.
"Um, guys? I better go, my family is waiting, but thanks for the autograph." without waiting for a response he walked away.
"Wait," Meg shouted, advancing towards Harry with her gang right behind her, " hold on!"
Harry stopped and Meg followed suit. Unfortunately, the Dursleys were within earshot; still, it would be impolite to ignore her so at his expense he faced her.
"Yes?"
"We were wondering if you." she pauses as she notices his relatives "and your family of course, could join us to an after race party?"
"We?" started Jason.
"Shush!" she commanded waving her hand at him.
Dudley's eyes widened considerably at the invitation and looked at his parents pleadingly the same time Harry had a look of hope. Vernon Dursley would have jumped up and said no if he pleased, but looking at his son made him reconsider and Harry knew he would give in. Without waiting for an answer, she asked for a piece of paper and a pencil and started scribbling down the address.
"Look, you can go home and think about it, this is the address. Just give the guard my name and he'll know what to do." She handed them the piece of paper and added "I promise I will make it worth your while"
"There's no need to think about it." Replied Vernon briskly. " We've already decided to take you up on your generous offer"
"Great! I'll see you there. It was very nice to meet you Mr. And Mrs. .Dursley, right?"
They nodded in response.
"All right, we'll see you there, Harry" she turned to Harry's cousin with a small smile, "um.Dudley."
"B-bye" he stammered as she retreated.
Of course, right after he got home with the Dursleys, they refused to take him. He, however, did the most unthinkable thing ever: he sneaked out. Voldemort and Death Eaters be damned. This time though, he wore more fitting clothes, the same clothes Sirius bought for him on Christmas.
He smirked at the whole situation. There he was playing Cinderella, something that was liable to get him in trouble, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore.
When he got there Meg and his friends found him keeping his distance as far away as he could from his relatives. He just couldn't risk being seen for he had sneaked out. Just the fact of it made the act thrilling and exciting and hopefully he'd get away with it. He had learned that the Dursleys excused his absence by saying he was feeling a tad ill. Ill my ass, Harry thought, but soon forgot about them as he hung out with Meg's gang. They seemed like a fun lot and being with them during most of the party made him forget about everything. In there, he was Harry. Not Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, but just Harry.
******************FLASHBACK************************************
Even after the party, Harry kept sneaking out at night or when the Dursleys were out, to meet them somewhere. They would go to restaurants, arcades, the mall, the movies and even to teen clubs. Meg and her friends could only stay for so long as they had to get back home to the United States in time for their start of her school's term. She had stayed for two weeks and solemnly bowed to make Harry's summer the best he ever had. And she did. This summer couldn't get any better but then it would.
Amidst all the fun, he realized that he was starting to have a crush on Meg. He knew he couldn't do this to her as she seemed so happy with Jason. Jason adored her; he was always touching her face, kissing her tenderly, hugging her and always kept her close to him. It hurt Harry to see them like this but he cared about her enough to let her go. But now.
Jason's gone. He was gone and the most selfish and most insensitive part of him (however small) thought that at least he was out of the way. He hated himself for letting those thoughts grace his mind, as if it wasn't enough that he was a murderer.
In spite of his friends' protestations, Harry couldn't help but carry the guilt with him. It was as if the weight of it would allow him to never forget, because that was what at the least Cedric deserved; he deserved to have Harry torturing himself for what had happened. Meg tried to drive those thoughts from his mind by repeatedly assuring him that it wasn't his fault at all. Yes, Meg knew; an edited version of it anyway. He couldn't help but wonder afterwards what would she have said if Harry had told her he was a wizard.
'Probably treat me like the freak I am.' He thought bitterly.
He sighed. He missed Meg. He missed her as much as he missed his friends and it he thought it was quite unfortunate that she lived in the States. Though he wished he could use his Gringotts money, he knew he'd be pushing it too far and there was no chance Dumbledore would ever let him out of his sight. Oh, well.
Fortunately, his summer was going to keep on getting better. Since he asked Albus Dumbledore's permission to stay at the Weasley's, after he had gotten the traditional invitation, Dumbledore couldn't deny him this one thing. The Weasley's were due to arrive tomorrow morning and Harry was glad he had everything packed and ready. He even did all of his homework! Harry had the good luck to have the Dursleys out of the house enough to do everything and before they came back, he sent Hedwig to stay at the Weasley's.
Harry sighed, again. He stood up from his bed and made his way toward the light switch, turning out the lights. He tucked himself in placing the magazines in a neat pile on the desk besides his bed, he'd stuff them in his trunk come morning, he thought.
~@~ ~@~
The next morning, Harry was exhausted. He hadn't slept at all thanks to his impending nightmares. Still, not even the exhaustion nor the habitual verbal abuse from his relatives could damper his moods. He was leaving the Dursleys to spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys. When they arrived the Dursleys stared at them in disgust; not that Harry noticed since he was hugging his best friend, Ron, after throwing a greeting at Mr. Weasley's way.
"Man, Harry! We missed you!" said the redhead grinning from ear to ear.
"I missed you, too Ron!" he said "Just a question though did you just get taller or am I getting shorter by the day?"
Ron laughed.
"Ahem." Started a female voice.
Harry turned around to where the voice had come from and gaped at the girl in front of him, clearly not believing his eyes. He took off his glasses, cleaned them with his oversized shirt, and held them up in the light to be sure they were perfectly clean. The girl in question rolled her eyes at the boy and tapped her foot lightly, as if impatient. Harry, satisfied with the cleaning, put his glasses on again, and seeing that no matter how clean his glasses were, the girl didn't change a bit.
"Hermione?" he asked flabbergasted.
Ron, as it seemed wasn't the only one who had changed. Hermione had straightened her hair and the frizz seemed to have gone completely making her hair look longer than it seemed. She was wearing a sleeveless V-necked crimson blouse with a beige skirt that reached above her knees and high- heels shoes. She had grown into a very beautiful girl (if not woman) that Harry was pretty sure Hermione would have ever guy, including Malfoy, eating out of the palm of her hand! Except him, of course, as Harry still was hung on Meg.
"No, Cindy Crawford." She replied sarcastically, snapping Harry out of his thoughts. "Of course I'm Hermione, who else would it be?"
"Hey! There's plenty of girls around." He replied indignantly.
"Oh? Like who?" she teased, adding: "You better not be cheating on me or I'll hex you bloody into next week"
"You wouldn't! You love me too much to hurt me." Harry teased back and crossed his arms as if challenging her,
Taking a pensive look, then shaking her head "Too true, too true."
Both boys sniggered as Hermione scowled.
"Oh, shut it, you two! Now Harry, c'mere and give me a hug, pronto!"
Harry laughed as he walked towards her and embraced her.
"It's good to see you Hermione." He said into her hair.
"Oh, it's good to see you, too. I've been so worried!" she replied hugging him tightly.
"Come on! You needn't be." He said holding her shoulders in assurance. Then he swept his eyes over her, nodding appreciatively. "Goddamn, 'Mione! You look good!"
Hermione and Ron looked at each other with wide eyes, and then looked at Harry and back at each other.
"Whoever this girl is, she's been a bad influence on our Harry." She said solemnly.
"Oh, shut up" Harry scowled, pushing her shoulder lightly. Ron grinned mischievously.
"The very little I know of her, I can tell you that she's a muggle celebrity from the United States." Ron said matter of factly.
"American?" she asked as she raised her left eyebrow and turned to Harry.
"Yep."
"Guys, she's just a friend." He told his friends.
"Uh-huh." They replied in unison, disbelieving.
"Besides, she had a boyfriend, I met the guy and I befriended him. He was a great guy, not like you, mind you, but great nonetheless; he trusted me and I don't even know why but he did. It would be a betrayal to his memory if I ever acted on my feelings."
"Was?" Hermione asked, eyeing the raven-haired boy quizzically.
"His memory?" asked Ron puzzled. "Harry, what are you on about!?"
Harry then started explaining what he had read in the articles leaving his friends to gape shocked.
"How awful!"
"Sorry, Mate."
"You know what's the most horrible part? That she was there, she watched her boyfriend be consumed by the flames. She saw the death of a loved one right before her eyes and feeling helpless and useless to do anything."
Ron and Hermione looked at each other knowing how Harry related to the situation. As much as they tried, they couldn't make him know it wasn't his fault and stubbornly carried his guilt as his punishment.
"She must have thought it was her fault." He added softly.
"But it wasn't, was it?" She spoke quickly, adding: "It was an accident."
"Well, of course." He said grinning slightly. "With a face like that, who would dare to cry out 'bloody murder'?"
"Harry's very fond of her face, mind you." Ron added solemnly earning a glare from his friend. Hermione giggled at the insinuation shaking her head. It was too amusing to see Harry in that state. She was glad though. He needed someone to make him forget for a while, even if she was a muggle.
"Now, changing the subject." he started. "Where's everyone?"
****@@**** ****@@**** ****@@****
Snape found his daughter in her room, packing. He propped himself against the door frame looking at her as she packed and got lost in thought as he recalled the week's events. She had not spoken to anybody for a week despite of everyone's futile attempts to get her to open up. Her friends noticed the change and went on being worried same as her parents. They didn't know the reason why Meg was in such a gloomy mood, or why she avoided them at all costs. Even then, they called on the phone, hoping against reason that she would want to speak with any of them and end the alarming silence. Snape, along with the rest of the family was getting frustrated. He had written to Dumbledore, updating him on what was going on. Dumbledore just said: "You win by patience, not persistence." Snape snorted. What would he know? He wasn't the one who'd paced the hall right outside her bedroom door for almost every day.
She only got out of her room for her morning exercise and cheerleading practice. She once went to motocross practice but those practices were rare, almost non-existent. He found out that his daughter was a muggle celebrity of some sort. She was a motocross racer and a very good one at that, given that she was a celebrity. He remembered going to one of her practices. The ease and passion she put into racing just made him long to do the same. It made him remember the old days when he raced and thrilled in the speed, the high jumps, the adrenaline, the sweat.everything. Meg abandoned herself completely to the race, as if it would render her free of worries. When she jumped up high, he could see how she thought she could fly away and never return but she'd always landed. No matter how hard she tried, or how much she wanted it, she would always land.
He heard a voice calling him to the land of the living and quickly snapped out of it only to realize it was his daughter calling to him.
"Hey!" she called, standing at least a foot away from him. "Are you ok?"
It took him a minute to assess that his daughter was speaking to him. For the first time, in a week. He even was the first one she had spoken to, or so he thought. He shook out of his thoughts before she could change her mind and started acting as she had.
"Er...yes." He mumbled and then cleared his throat. "Yes, I am. No need to worry."
Meg frowned. "Well, you did look like in another planet and weren't going to come anytime soon."
"I was just doing some thinking"
"Care to elaborate?" She asked. "That is if you don't mind me asking."
"No, not at all." Snape replied quickly. "It was nothing of importance, however. Just mindless thinking."
Rising an eyebrow, disbelieving. "Oh."
"You don't believe me." He stated narrowing his eyes.
She smirked. "No."
"May I inquire on the reason why you don't think so."
"You don't look like the kind of man who would engage on mindless thinking." Meg replied facing him and waving a hand in the airfor emphasis.
Snape chuckled bowing his head.
"Black, on the other hand..." she trailed off.
He chuckled again."Indeed."
Suddenly there was a small lapse of silence in which Meg returned to packing her things into carton boxes. Severus stared some more before speaking again.
"Do you need any help with that?"
Looking around. "Yes. I guess I could use a little bit of help."
Snape happily obliged. Then he thought he wouldn't have the patience to go through all of his daughter things, so he got his wand out and muttered a spell. Meg's things were neatly packed into the boxes.
Stunned. "Huh...ok. Um, I thought you couldn't use magic outside of...of..."
"Hogwarts?" Snape finished helpfully.
"Yeah, that. Whatever." she shrugged nonchalantly.
"Students and minors alike cannot use magic as they're not properly trained." He explained. "Since I am a fully trained wizard, I am within my right to use magic as I please. However, I do not for I risk sighting by muggles."
"Muggles?"
"Non-magic folk."
"So, if I were to say that I was raised as a muggle, it means that I've been living without magic, is that it?"
"Correct."
"Oh."
Another pause.
"Meg?" Snape called tentatively.
Eyes downcast."Yes?"
"Would you like to talk?"
A quick glance. "Aren't we talking now?"
"I meant..." he paused. "I assumed that you would like to talk about how you feel about leaving."
"Why?"
"I would like to know about your thoughts on this." He swept his hand at his surroundings. "On becoming a witch and learning to control your magic...going home."
Meg mentally bristled at that. She counted to ten before speaking again with the man and meeting his gaze in a cool demeanor.
"This is my home." she countered.
"Yes, I see tha-" He was cut off.
"No, you don't." Meg snapped. "I've made my life here. I have my friends and family right here. I built my past on this place and it's written on these very walls. I've started to build my future here and those things are what your *home* lacks."
"Still, you were born in England and *my home* recognizes you as family." Snape explained. "Furthermore, you also have a family there. A family that is eager to see you and have you back in their lives."
"Why now?" She shouted, thouroughly angry. "Why now and not before? I've never met this family and I'm still reluctant to believe that after almost 15 years, they have decided to have us back. Didn't they want us before?"
"Of course they wanted you!" Snape protested. " But you have to understand that the circumstances of having you back weren't so good."
"Really?"
"Meg, I know you're angry, but you have to understand."
"I have to understand?" Meg asked disbelievingly. "All these years you were gone and neither Lex and I knew why and now after so many years you expect us to accept our fate so readily. Well, screw you!!"
"You will watch your language in front of me young lady!"
"Oh! Now the long lost father demands respect! How ironic!" she laughed bitterly.
"Meg, I'm warning you." He hissed dangerously.
"Yes and what are you going to do? Hit me?" Meg said, defiantly.
Seething. "How dare you?!"
"How dare you burst into my life demanding to be obeyed when you haven't earned that respect! How dare you assume that everything will be all right if you asked me to leave my life and think that I would be pleased to have this whole change. How dare you ruin my life like this!" shouted Meg, furiously only to sit down on her bed sobbing miserably.
Snape watched as his daughter cried on her bed and let go. He watched with growing guilt as he realized the amount of pain he had inflicted on Meg with his abscence, wishing fervently he could take back time and do things differently. He let the tears fill his eyes and fall down his pale face, glad for only a few second to let go of his own pain. He wiped his face furiously with the back of his hand thinking he didn't deserve the relief. He looked at the broken figure of his daughter.
"Meg..." he started only to be cut off again.
"I don't want to hear it." She said shaking her head. "I've heard your excuses and it all comes down to this petty Dark Lord and his stupid followers."
'Ouch' he winced mentally.
"They're nothing!" Meg continued. "Your excuses don't make up for anything and 'sorry' doesn't make a wrong right."
"Are you trying to tell me that it was wrong to protect my family?"
"Protect us? By sending us away"
"I had no other choice."
"Then you should've found one!" Meg accused. "Anything but that. Anything to prevent Lex from crying himself to sleep when he thought you didn't love him and ever making me feel the same way. Anything to keep my classmates from cruelly taunting me, claiming that the reason you left was because I wasn't good enough and loved by you. Anything! Anything that would let us know you were there for us!"
Snape was once again rendered speechless and berated himself some more for his daughter's pain.
"But did you? Of course not! I hated you. I hated you for it!"
These words cut Snape deeply. His heart bled at Meg's angry remarks. How could he? He swore to himself he would never hurt his family, but he did and he hated himself some more.
"I'm sorry." He replied tightly, earning a snort from Meg.
"It's true." Snape insisted. "I swore on my soul I would never hurt my family but you just showed me I did. I never intended to do it. I came for my family and I won't leave for England without you. I need you to give me a second chance."
"If you had come before, all of this would have meant a lot more than it does now." Meg replied coldly.
She wanted him to hurt. To hurt the same way she did. But her revenge wasn't sweet as expected. She realized with every word she say as she pushed her father away, the pain in her heart would only increase. She had learned to love him and call him father in her mind as he saw how happy he made Lex. Why are you doing this? she asked herself. I thought it was all forgiven. It seemed that her thirst for revenge had won her out.
"I'm here now." He replied softly. "Does it mean anything to you?
She didn't respond as she leant on the wall, arms crossed, and gaze out her window.
"At all?"
No response ther either.
"I see." He bowed his head in defeat. "I won't bother you anymore, you can count on this. But know this: you may hate me for the rest of your life, but I love you, I always have. Perhaps the choices I made were the wrong ones, but I've no doubt in my mind that I did it out of love. For you, for Lex and for your mother."
Snape turned around, his face contorted in pain and eyes full of tears and headed for the door.
"It does." Meg spoke.
He froze mid-step. Without turning around he asked: "What does?"
"You... coming here." She replied. "It means everything to me."
Snape closed his eyes and a fresh bath of tears came onto his porcelain face.
"Mom always says: 'Better late than never.' "
Snape faces his daughter who is looking at him hopeful. She seems surprised to see the wet trails on his face and he does not wipe them away. He slowly walks towards her and fastens the pace a bit once she didn't seem to move away. Soon, he had her on his arms and she buried her tear stained face on his chest and cried again. He runs his long, delicate fingers through his daughter silky raven hair and after a few moments he grabs her face and looks straight at her.
"I'm not letting any of you go this time." He bowed and she laughs as she flungs her slim arms around his neck.
Snape kissed his daughter's hair and whispered into it:
"My baby. My baby girl, I missed you so much."
She replied. "I know...I missed you, too."
******************************************************************
R & R!!