Raindrops Keep Falling – Chapter 5
A/N: So – tired – can't *yawns* I shouldn't have stayed up to watch the Simpsons last night…hehe. I have to go read like now…I'm reading three books at the moment and it's kinda difficult to keep them all straight. For school, Grendel (it's like a companion to Beowulf…I guess. But it's author is known and it was written within the past 100 years…) and Tuesdays With Morrie (such a greatbook! I read it the summer before 9th grade and OMG I recommend it to everyone!) Then, for my SAT tutor (I have to read to work on recognizing sentence structure and stuff) I'm reading The Shinning …hehe I figure I need another reason to keep myself up all night.;) *makes room in her freezer* Yeah, so between the SAT tutor, driving lessons (omfg they're so not fun!), and just being a junior in high school, my updating time is quite limited. Oh, and usually I do it on weekends, but this past weekend was really crazy…with the holidays and all. However, here I am (slacking off homework for a change) and updating! I've been working on this series when I've had a few spare moments, but I've pretty much just been reworking the last few chapters (I'm compulsive and like to have at least 2 chapters ahead of what I've posted written), so that's what took me so long to post. Yeah, okay, wow, this is long. Please read and review, (that is, if it's still worth it…) thanks.
Chandler sat in his barkalounger, watching television and humming idly to himself. He felt content for the first time in months. Finally, the weight of his marriage had been lifted from his shoulders. He had shared his feelings with someone else, and now, they didn't seem so terrible. Someone understood him. She understood him.
In the back of his mind, he was worrying about Monica, though. She was so miserable in her marriage. He wished he could think of some way to convince her to divorce her husband. Still, Monica refused to do it, and he knew that once Monica made up her mind, there was little he could do to change it. But, he didn't worry about it much. She seemed at least moderately happy, when circumstances didn't concern her husband. Besides, she was Monica. She was strong. She could handle anything.
So, at that moment, thanks to her, the main thought on his mind was wondering how Bugs Bunny would escape Elmer Fudd this time. However, an urgent knock on the door forced Chandler to shut off the television and open the door. There was nothing he could to prepare himself for what was next. When he opened the door, he was shocked to his very core.
"Kathy?" he whispered.
"Yeah." She hugged herself nervously as she looked around the apartment.
"Uh, well, come in."
She nodded and forced a small, gracious smile upon her face. He gestured for her to sit on the barkalounger, and he pulled up a green stool and faced her.
"So, umm, what's up?"
"Nothing, just, I…" her eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere, aside from into Chandler's eyes, "I just wanted to see how you were doing."
Chandler's eyes narrowed. "Don't make small talk. You must have a reason for being here. Look, I gave you all the money I have, okay?! What more could you possibly want from me?!"
"It's not that, it's that…I - I think that our divorce might have been a mistake."
"Wha…?"
"I know, I know, we got along horribly for the past year! But, I…I really miss you."
"You were the one who wanted the divorce in the first place!"
"I know, I know!" she stood up and began to pace, "I was angry and stupid, Chandler! I can't tell you how much I regret it."
"I –" he stared at her, "I don't know what to say."
She looked up, momentarily fazed by his reply. Then, she stood up and walked over to him slowly. Just by the look on her face, Chandler knew her exact intensions as she stopped in front of him. He didn't move. Then, she leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Although Chandler was expecting it, he wasn't sure of what he wanted to do next.
Part of him wanted to throw her down and make love to her until he couldn't move another muscle. However, there was another side of him that knew he no longer loved Kathy. Therefore, it would be wrong of him to take advantage of her, and he knew it. Instead, when she removed his lips from hers, he looked into her eyes. This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want her anymore. He knew he wanted someone else – someone just barely touchable to him.
So, as he stared into her eyes, he shook his head lightly. Kathy looked back at him, shocked.
"You think just because you ended it, you can start it back up again?"
"No, it's just I thought we still loved each other!"
Chandler smirked at her. "There you go again."
"What?"
"Assuming you know just how I'm feeling just because you're feeling a certain way."
"Chandler!" she paused, "You know what, I don't have to stay here."
Chandler shrugged. "I agree. No one's making you."
"Look, this is your last chance! So, if you're playing hard to get, you'd better –"
"No thanks."
Kathy looked down at her feet. "Fine then. I'm sorry things didn't work out."
"Yeah," he answered gruffly, "Me too."
She walked to the door, as he followed close behind. She opened the door and then turned around, planting one last kiss on his lips, before she went out the door.
Chandler stared at the door, shocked at what had just occurred. Day after day, he would replay the moment Kathy returned to him in his mind. Every time, they would end up together again, living happily ever after. However, he now realized being with Kathy would not be his 'happily ever after', but merely his escape from his most intense feelings and desires.
No, something the day before had changed Chandler's view on his life and on his feelings. Something stronger than dreams had come to him the night before. Something called reality.
Monica walked up to Joey and Chandler's apartment, holding Alex's hand loosely in hers. Chandler had called her the day before, invited her and Alex to dinner with he and Joey. Monica was happy to accept. She loved when Alex spent time with his "uncles". She hoped, perhaps, he would be able to find a father figure in them, since his real father was little to look up to.
As soon as they entered, Alex sprinted right past Chandler, and headed straight towards the Playstation. He picked up the controller and immediately became enthralled in the game. Monica sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Won't you at least say hi to your Uncle Chandler?"
"Hi!" he called, eyes never leaving the television screen.
Monica was about to scold him, when Chandler interrupted her. "Hey buddy." Then he turned to Monica, "It's okay, really. I was expecting that. I even turned on the game for him."
She chuckled. "All right, but he makes it seem like he doesn't have one of those video games at home," and then said louder, so that Alex could hear, "You're off the hook this time."
"So, how's it going?"
"It's going fine," Chandler frowned at her and she shrugged, "Well, it's going, anyway."
He smiled slightly and grasped her hand. She gasped lightly with surprise.
"You remember your promise…?"
"I do. And I'm keeping it."
"Good."
They stared into each other's eyes for a bit longer, only jolting out of the mutual gaze by Alex's groan as he lost the game.
"So, where's Joey?"
"Oh," Chandler looked away, "He can't make it today."
"Oh?" Monica wondered, very mildly disappointed.
"Yeah, he had to, uh, work."
The truth of the matter was, however, that Chandler never told Joey to begin with. He was actually hoping to get a moment alone with Monica, so he could talk to her. He now realized, as she watched Alex's game and ruffled his hair, that it would be harder than he had bargained for.
"Well, we should probably get going," Chandler urged.
"Aww, but I'm almost done this level!"
"Yes, but it's getting late and we need to get home before your –"
Monica stopped arguing when she saw the words "game over" dance their way onto the screen. Alex sighed and put down the controller.
"So, where to?" Chandler asked, as he ushered them out the door.
"Pizza!"
"Alex –"
"Pizza sounds great."
Monica titled her head and grinned at Chandler. He smiled back at her.
"Yeah," she agreed absently, still watching Chandler, "Pizza sounds great."
After dinner, Chandler insisted upon seeing Monica and Alex to their house. On the train ride home, Alex fell asleep. So, as they walked up the stairs to her house, Chandler held the sleeping boy in his arms. When they entered, Chandler brought Alex into his room and laid him down on the bed. He watched from the door, as Monica dressed him in his pajamas, kissed his forehead tenderly, and shut off the lights. He realized, at that moment, just how grateful he was that Monica had Alex in her life. Chandler could see at that moment that Alex was one of the only things in her life keeping her sane.
Monica turned to leave the room, and gasped softly when she noticed Chandler standing at the door.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he mumbled, as they headed down the stairs.
"It's ok. I thought you had gone downstairs."
"Nah, I wanted to watch you two," she blushed, "He's such a good kid."
Chandler sat down on the couch, while Monica headed towards the kitchen.
"He really is," she called from the other room, "I don't know what I'd do without him."
"Me neither," he muttered to himself.
"What was that?" Monica questioned, as she brought two coffees into the living room.
He ignored her question. "I really love what you've done with the place. I feel like I haven't been her in ages!"
"Yeah, well…you kinda haven't. I'm always the one going into the city."
"Yeah…we should all be less lazy and come visit you."
Monica chuckled. "It's okay. I have to go into the city for work, anyway."
"True, true."
Monica watched Chandler, as he mixed sugar into his coffee. He was right - she really didn't invite her friends over to the house much. She was always afraid, as she was at that very moment, that Bobby would come home, drunk. Then, they would all see just what Bobby was like now, and she was certain they would try to convince her to divorce him. In fact, there was a part of her that wanted to ask Chandler to leave. However, aside from the fear of being considered rude, another, more reckless part of her, wanted him to stay. She decided she would listen to that side, for a change.
"So," he began, "I guess I'll just tell you what I've been wanting to tell you all night."
"Yeah? What's that?" she asked, breathlessly.
"Well, Kathy came by today."
"Oh?" Monica's face fell for a moment, but she recovered quickly. However, it wasn't fast enough to hide from Chandler.
"Yeah, she, uh, wanted to get back together."
"I, umm, oh. I see. What did you - did you say?"
"I said no."
Monica sighed inwardly, despite herself. Even if there wasn't – couldn't be – anything between them, she wanted that option to always be open. Perhaps, that was slightly selfish, but she wanted it, nonetheless.
"Yeah, I realized I didn't feel anything for her anymore."
"Ohh."
"Yeah, and you know why I realized that?"
"No, why?"
"Because of you. You and your advice."
"I didn't do much."
He grasped her hands again. "No, no! You did everything. You listened."
She smiled and touched his cheek. However, her finger lingered longer than she expected. She couldn't bring herself to pull away. The feel of his skin against hers was comforting, yet exhilarating, at the same time. Chandler felt the same way. Instead of moving away from her touch, Chandler brought his hand up to his face and rested it lightly on top of her hand.
Chandler had no idea what was happening. It was as if his mind had completely fled from his head, as he leaned in and kissed her. She sighed, content on finally kissing him again. Monica hadn't noticed just how much she craved it, until she felt his soft lips upon hers again. Her eyes fluttered as his arms reached around her neck. However, after a minute, Chandler pulled back and gazed into her eyes.
"We shouldn't be doing this," he whispered.
"I know."
"But I really want to."
"Me too."
"Mon, I," he licked his lips, and she held her breath, "I have feelings for you."
She let out the breath she was holding in. "You do?"
"Yeah, I do. That's why I said no to Kathy. That's how I knew I was over her."
"I, uh, I…"
"And I know," he continued, "That nothing can happen between us, but -"
Monica cut him off by kissing him passionately on the lips. Chandler leaned back, as she continued, eagerly and hungrily, letting out all the emotions that she held pent up inside herself for so long. After a moment, he kissed her back with just as much passion, expressing the same confined feelings. At the moment in time, it was as if they had lived only for that one, magical kiss.
Minutes turned to seconds, as Monica reluctantly pulled away from Chandler. He looked at her curiously, and a smile crept upon her face. She cupped his face in her hands before speaking once more.
"I have feelings for you, too."
He smiled. "I was hoping I interpreted that kiss right."
"But what," Monica looked away, "What are we gonna do about our circumstances?"
"Well, you're not willing to leave him, right?"
She shook her head.
"Well, then, there's only one more option left."
"What's that?" she asked, pretty confident that she already knew the answer.
"Do you think it's worth the risk?"
"I don't know."
"Well, I want you to think about," he replied before rising, "But I also want you to know one thing."
"What's that?"
"He might be able to give you a marriage and a roof over your head, but he can't give you the greatest gift that I have to give."
"What's that?" she asked, heart beating rapidly.
"He can't give you love."
Monica nodded, realizing that she had been hoping for that answer all along. It had been a vague dream that she never knew existed, re-instilled in her mind. She watched as Chandler headed for the door. She was about to stop him, when, to her horror, the doorknob turned.
Bobby entered, his hair disheveled and tie hanging haphazardly from his neck. However, Monica noticed he didn't seem drunk. On the contrary, the only visible attribute of his manner was the strongly suspicious look he shot Chandler, as he walked past him. Still, Monica didn't worry much. Bobby was always suspicious of men who were around her, no matter how close of a friend they were. The irony of the situation, however, was that he had been right, for once.
Chandler bid Bobby goodbye, wondering what he had done to make Bobby so suspicious. After all, he hadn't been in the house when they kissed. He was about to leave, when Monica's voice stopped him. He turned around and looked at her curiously. Bobby, in turn, stopped to scrutinize Monica.
"I'll take your offer."
Chandler smiled and nodded, before leaving the apartment. While he closed the door, he heard Bobby question her on what that exact offer was. Her answer didn't matter to him, though – she would come up with something. He was in love and everything was right with the world.
A/N: Uh, yeah, that's about it. I have to get back to reading and/or playing e-mail tag with Michey Pishey *hugs* loverr u! And no, Yen, u get no mention b/c u go online too late for my poor, exhausted brain!! (…she has a brain?!) *kicks the time difference* Oh, and I checked and hon, Boris IS dead. Lol, Ok, please leave a review, thanks!:)