Ryan and Seth had been looking forward to this weekend for a while -- Sandy and Kristen are both gone, from Friday night to Sunday night -- and they boys have been planning on a raucous Friday night together, and then Saturday Seth actually had a date with Summer planned. God only knows how he scored that.
Anyway. No curfew, no chaperones, a big house and a pool -- the possibilities seemed endless. But now, with this knot of desire in his stomach that he couldn't ignore, Ryan was more terrified of the weekend than anything else. Because as much as he's been trying to ignore it, it's not going away. Every time Seth touches him, Ryan's world pauses while he savors the heat of Seth's hand, arm, leg -- whatever's making contact. Every time Seth laughs Ryan smiles reflexively. Every time Seth walks by Ryan stares. Every time Seth mentions Summer Ryan clenches his jaw. He's never ever had a crush on a guy before. But that, undeniably, is what this is. A crush, attraction, something like that. Something surely unrequited, and something definitely -- for many reasons -- inappropriate. Ryan's busy trying to think of how to get out of a Friday night alone with Seth when Seth arrives at the pool house door, grinning, carrying a shopping bag.
He pulls out the contents -- a six pack. Again, god only knows how he managed that.
"Now I figured, when we go out to parties, it seems to end badly, am I right?" Seth starts. "Sooooo, I'm thinkin', let's stay in tonight." He pulls out a couple DVDs from the bag too, and a new video game. "I know it's not a kegger with tanned women in bikinis, but sounds like fun anyway, right?" His eyes are sparkling, he looks so excited. Ryan has no choice -- he smiles.
"Perfect," he answers, and gets up and follows Seth into the house.
***
The movie is at it's climax -- some silly comedy that of course involves a romantic twist, some couple who seem all wrong for each other, but their passion wins out in the end. Their ardent kiss segues into the closing credits. Seth's had 2 beers, and his face is a little flushed. Ryan, who had at first thought to abstain, gave in to his nervous energy about a third of the way through the movie. He's slammed 3 beers since then, and he's definitely feeling a bit lightheaded. Sitting inches away from Seth on the couch and watching that kissing scene is only adding to that feeling. He looks over at Seth and jokes, badly, "So was that what kissing Summer was like? A romantic explosion of two very different people realizing they are so right for each other?" Ryan notes that he's slurring, just a little bit.
Seth looks at him, smiles unenthusiastically. "Yeah, I wish."
Ryan lifts an eyebrow.
"Well, I mean, she sort of took me by surprise. I wasn't really prepared, so it was kind of, well, bland." Seth pauses, exhales, sets his now empty beer bottle down. "And to be honest, even if I had been expecting it…." He trails off.
"What?" Ryan asks.
"Well, it's just that I'm not all that experienced in the world of kissing. In fact, that was--" he stops, embarrassed. Ryan looks at him; he knew Seth was inexperienced, but he didn't know he was THAT inexperienced. He speaks, to spare Seth the embarrassment of going on. He says the first thing he thinks of.
"Well, there's not all that much to it, really. You just sort of do what you imagine would feel good on you." Seth stares at him, sort of blankly. "Start off light, don't just mash into her face. Use a little teeth, a little tongue. See what makes her gasp or moan or wiggle around a little and go with that." Seth is still staring at him. Ryan licks his lips. He's feeling a little reckless, a little bolstered by the courage of Corona, and he's on a roll. He sees how much farther he can go.
"Uh, this might seem a bit weird, but we could, uh practice. I mean you could. Practice. With me." Ryan holds Seth's gaze to see exactly how weird Seth finds it.
Seth is clearly floored. He sputters and looks away, but doesn't move from his spot on the couch. He shifts nervously, bringing them both into full awareness that their knees had been touching for a long time -- practically the whole movie. Seth coughs.
"Uh, that's the gayest thing anyone's ever said to me." Seth tries to laugh it all off.
"Come on man, you know I don't mean it that way," Ryan lies. "I'm just trying to help a friend out."
Seth is still intrigued enough to stay put. "Well, what do you mean by 'practice'?" he ventures.
Ryan's heart skips a beat. "You could, uh, kiss me. I mean, pretend I'm her. And I don't know, just … I'll give you pointers along the way." Ryan can't believe he's taking it this far. He feels like he's losing control of the night, of himself. God, he's not even really drunk. But he can't seem to stop.
Seth stands up and paces around a bit. Ryan can see his mind going a mile a minute, but for once Seth isn't voicing his internal dialogue out loud. Ryan holds his breath -- he's not sure what he's wishing for Seth to say. Part of him wants Seth to utter a freaked-out, disgusted 'no' -- that would give Ryan the clear signal that Seth did not share this weird inappropriate attraction, and would maybe make it easier for Ryan to squash these feelings out of existence. But another much larger and more insistent part wants Seth to say yes, so Ryan has an excuse to taste Seth's Cap'n Crunch and Corona mouth, to run his hands over Seth's wiry body that Ryan is somehow sure is electrified. How else could Seth have so much nervous energy?
After a moment, Seth stops pacing, faces Ryan and says, simply, "OK."
It's Ryan's turn to be floored. He doesn't let himself stop to think about what a bad idea this is -- and there is a part of his brain screaming that -- but Ryan is sucked in by the dangerous, exciting, illicit, and irresistible wave he's riding. As casually as he can muster, he stands up and walks close to Seth. He clears his throat. His palms are getting sweaty and he is getting fidgety; he knows he'd better go through with it soon or he'll lose all nerve.
"So, how do we do this?" Seth asks, as nervous as Ryan.
"Um, ok, well, pretend it's the end of a date, and you're kissing her goodnight at her door." Ryan says. Seth looks skeptical at this Leave it to Beaver premise. "I don't know, something. Work with me" Ryan says.
Seth gulps. He lifts his hand and then drops it, leans forward and then stumbles back a little. Ryan grabs Seth's hand, puts it on his waist. He puts his own hand on Seth's shoulder and pulls him forward. "Remember, start slow," he says.
Seth hesitantly brings his face towards Ryan, jerking in fits and starts. Ryan's movements are perfectly steady and smooth -- he's abandoned himself completely to this moment. His eyes drop closed and his head tilts slowly, and his lips meet Seth's in the lightest brush. Ryan tries desperately to move slowly, to not scare Seth, to not scare himself. He sucks at Seth's bottom lip tenderly, then pulls back slightly for another brush against Seth's full lips.
Seth leans back very slightly. "How was that?" he asks.
Ryan can barely choke out words. "Very good," he says, trying to mask the throaty whisper his voice has become. "A little harder now," he says, and Seth presses his lips more firmly onto Ryan's, sliding his hand around Ryan's back a little as he does. Ryan melts into the kiss, and when Seth unexpectedly nips his lower lip with his teeth, he gasps involuntarily.
Seth pulls back again, and this time Ryan could swear he's smiling or smirking. "Now what?" Seth asks, his voice a whisper too.
"Tongue," Ryan says simply, and Seth returns to the kissing, and as Ryan parts his lips, Seth's tongue is there, hesitantly touching Ryan's own probing tongue. Ryan licks Seth's lips and then slides his tongue into Seth's mouth, exploring and dancing around; Seth responds enthusiastically. Ryan brings his had up to Seth's neck and pulls him closer.
Any thought of not moving too fast slips out of his mind; Ryan is careening downhill without brakes. This kiss has taken on a frenetic pace, tongues intertwined, arms wrapped around each other, pulling each other closer. Ryan can feels the electricity -- 10,000 watts at least -- sparking off Seth and onto him. He presses his hips against Seth's, and moans again when he feels Seth's erection press against his own. And then he freezes, freaked out. A split second later, Seth stops too. They jump away form each other as if they are on fire.
"You uh -- there's uh -- you got nothing to worry about. You're very talented," Ryan says, as he turns to leave the room, desperate to hide his hard-on, which Seth surely felt, but still. Ryan can think of nothing but getting out of the room, out of this situation which has spiraled totally out of his control.
"Ryan" Seth says thickly, unsure what to say next.
"You're cool. I gotta go," Ryan says, and heads into the bathroom. Seth sinks to the floor on the spot, holding his hand to his lips.
Anyway. No curfew, no chaperones, a big house and a pool -- the possibilities seemed endless. But now, with this knot of desire in his stomach that he couldn't ignore, Ryan was more terrified of the weekend than anything else. Because as much as he's been trying to ignore it, it's not going away. Every time Seth touches him, Ryan's world pauses while he savors the heat of Seth's hand, arm, leg -- whatever's making contact. Every time Seth laughs Ryan smiles reflexively. Every time Seth walks by Ryan stares. Every time Seth mentions Summer Ryan clenches his jaw. He's never ever had a crush on a guy before. But that, undeniably, is what this is. A crush, attraction, something like that. Something surely unrequited, and something definitely -- for many reasons -- inappropriate. Ryan's busy trying to think of how to get out of a Friday night alone with Seth when Seth arrives at the pool house door, grinning, carrying a shopping bag.
He pulls out the contents -- a six pack. Again, god only knows how he managed that.
"Now I figured, when we go out to parties, it seems to end badly, am I right?" Seth starts. "Sooooo, I'm thinkin', let's stay in tonight." He pulls out a couple DVDs from the bag too, and a new video game. "I know it's not a kegger with tanned women in bikinis, but sounds like fun anyway, right?" His eyes are sparkling, he looks so excited. Ryan has no choice -- he smiles.
"Perfect," he answers, and gets up and follows Seth into the house.
***
The movie is at it's climax -- some silly comedy that of course involves a romantic twist, some couple who seem all wrong for each other, but their passion wins out in the end. Their ardent kiss segues into the closing credits. Seth's had 2 beers, and his face is a little flushed. Ryan, who had at first thought to abstain, gave in to his nervous energy about a third of the way through the movie. He's slammed 3 beers since then, and he's definitely feeling a bit lightheaded. Sitting inches away from Seth on the couch and watching that kissing scene is only adding to that feeling. He looks over at Seth and jokes, badly, "So was that what kissing Summer was like? A romantic explosion of two very different people realizing they are so right for each other?" Ryan notes that he's slurring, just a little bit.
Seth looks at him, smiles unenthusiastically. "Yeah, I wish."
Ryan lifts an eyebrow.
"Well, I mean, she sort of took me by surprise. I wasn't really prepared, so it was kind of, well, bland." Seth pauses, exhales, sets his now empty beer bottle down. "And to be honest, even if I had been expecting it…." He trails off.
"What?" Ryan asks.
"Well, it's just that I'm not all that experienced in the world of kissing. In fact, that was--" he stops, embarrassed. Ryan looks at him; he knew Seth was inexperienced, but he didn't know he was THAT inexperienced. He speaks, to spare Seth the embarrassment of going on. He says the first thing he thinks of.
"Well, there's not all that much to it, really. You just sort of do what you imagine would feel good on you." Seth stares at him, sort of blankly. "Start off light, don't just mash into her face. Use a little teeth, a little tongue. See what makes her gasp or moan or wiggle around a little and go with that." Seth is still staring at him. Ryan licks his lips. He's feeling a little reckless, a little bolstered by the courage of Corona, and he's on a roll. He sees how much farther he can go.
"Uh, this might seem a bit weird, but we could, uh practice. I mean you could. Practice. With me." Ryan holds Seth's gaze to see exactly how weird Seth finds it.
Seth is clearly floored. He sputters and looks away, but doesn't move from his spot on the couch. He shifts nervously, bringing them both into full awareness that their knees had been touching for a long time -- practically the whole movie. Seth coughs.
"Uh, that's the gayest thing anyone's ever said to me." Seth tries to laugh it all off.
"Come on man, you know I don't mean it that way," Ryan lies. "I'm just trying to help a friend out."
Seth is still intrigued enough to stay put. "Well, what do you mean by 'practice'?" he ventures.
Ryan's heart skips a beat. "You could, uh, kiss me. I mean, pretend I'm her. And I don't know, just … I'll give you pointers along the way." Ryan can't believe he's taking it this far. He feels like he's losing control of the night, of himself. God, he's not even really drunk. But he can't seem to stop.
Seth stands up and paces around a bit. Ryan can see his mind going a mile a minute, but for once Seth isn't voicing his internal dialogue out loud. Ryan holds his breath -- he's not sure what he's wishing for Seth to say. Part of him wants Seth to utter a freaked-out, disgusted 'no' -- that would give Ryan the clear signal that Seth did not share this weird inappropriate attraction, and would maybe make it easier for Ryan to squash these feelings out of existence. But another much larger and more insistent part wants Seth to say yes, so Ryan has an excuse to taste Seth's Cap'n Crunch and Corona mouth, to run his hands over Seth's wiry body that Ryan is somehow sure is electrified. How else could Seth have so much nervous energy?
After a moment, Seth stops pacing, faces Ryan and says, simply, "OK."
It's Ryan's turn to be floored. He doesn't let himself stop to think about what a bad idea this is -- and there is a part of his brain screaming that -- but Ryan is sucked in by the dangerous, exciting, illicit, and irresistible wave he's riding. As casually as he can muster, he stands up and walks close to Seth. He clears his throat. His palms are getting sweaty and he is getting fidgety; he knows he'd better go through with it soon or he'll lose all nerve.
"So, how do we do this?" Seth asks, as nervous as Ryan.
"Um, ok, well, pretend it's the end of a date, and you're kissing her goodnight at her door." Ryan says. Seth looks skeptical at this Leave it to Beaver premise. "I don't know, something. Work with me" Ryan says.
Seth gulps. He lifts his hand and then drops it, leans forward and then stumbles back a little. Ryan grabs Seth's hand, puts it on his waist. He puts his own hand on Seth's shoulder and pulls him forward. "Remember, start slow," he says.
Seth hesitantly brings his face towards Ryan, jerking in fits and starts. Ryan's movements are perfectly steady and smooth -- he's abandoned himself completely to this moment. His eyes drop closed and his head tilts slowly, and his lips meet Seth's in the lightest brush. Ryan tries desperately to move slowly, to not scare Seth, to not scare himself. He sucks at Seth's bottom lip tenderly, then pulls back slightly for another brush against Seth's full lips.
Seth leans back very slightly. "How was that?" he asks.
Ryan can barely choke out words. "Very good," he says, trying to mask the throaty whisper his voice has become. "A little harder now," he says, and Seth presses his lips more firmly onto Ryan's, sliding his hand around Ryan's back a little as he does. Ryan melts into the kiss, and when Seth unexpectedly nips his lower lip with his teeth, he gasps involuntarily.
Seth pulls back again, and this time Ryan could swear he's smiling or smirking. "Now what?" Seth asks, his voice a whisper too.
"Tongue," Ryan says simply, and Seth returns to the kissing, and as Ryan parts his lips, Seth's tongue is there, hesitantly touching Ryan's own probing tongue. Ryan licks Seth's lips and then slides his tongue into Seth's mouth, exploring and dancing around; Seth responds enthusiastically. Ryan brings his had up to Seth's neck and pulls him closer.
Any thought of not moving too fast slips out of his mind; Ryan is careening downhill without brakes. This kiss has taken on a frenetic pace, tongues intertwined, arms wrapped around each other, pulling each other closer. Ryan can feels the electricity -- 10,000 watts at least -- sparking off Seth and onto him. He presses his hips against Seth's, and moans again when he feels Seth's erection press against his own. And then he freezes, freaked out. A split second later, Seth stops too. They jump away form each other as if they are on fire.
"You uh -- there's uh -- you got nothing to worry about. You're very talented," Ryan says, as he turns to leave the room, desperate to hide his hard-on, which Seth surely felt, but still. Ryan can think of nothing but getting out of the room, out of this situation which has spiraled totally out of his control.
"Ryan" Seth says thickly, unsure what to say next.
"You're cool. I gotta go," Ryan says, and heads into the bathroom. Seth sinks to the floor on the spot, holding his hand to his lips.