Ryan has been flipping aimlessly through channels, through comic books, through magazines all night long. He's restless, annoyed, and -- he hates to admit it -- jealous. He wonders if Seth and Summer are still out at the restaurant, or if they are back now, in the parent-free house, making out on the couch. Using the kissing advice Ryan gave him. While Ryan sits here and pines away for his probably-straight foster brother. Although, he hadn't imagined Seth's enthusiastic response to Ryan's kiss. And he certainly hasn't imagined Seth's hard cock pressing against him. Nevertheless, Seth didn't mention anything about the night over breakfast this morning, and then by the time Ryan got home from work, Seth was gone -- out on his date with Summer.
Ryan showered and ate after he got home from work, and immediately sequestered himself in the pool house. He didn't want to get in their way if they came home. He'd even closed the blinds on the pool house so that if Seth and Summer decide to use the pool, he won't see anything. He figures if he hears them splashing, he'll scoot out the side door and head to the beach, giving them their privacy.
But so far he's heard nothing. He can't stand sitting around anymore, so he decides to take that walk to the beach now.
Walking towards the ocean, Ryan wishes he had some cigarettes -- this is exactly the kind of empty, frustrating, pensive, confusing moment in life that calls for one. He kicks at the sand a little as he walks, staring down at his feet. He almost doesn't see the figure sitting on the beach at all, but when his eyes do look up, he knows instantly it's Seth. He'd know Seth anywhere. And -- no Summer. Ryan approaches.
"Early date." Ryan says, sitting next to him in the sand, careful not to touch him this time.
"Yeah." Seth replies, unusually quiet.
"What happened?" Ryan asks, looking at him sideways.
Seth is sifting sand through his fingers, not looking at Ryan. "We kissed."
"And?" Ryan asks, swallowing the hot rise of jealousy in his throat.
"I, uh, did everything you suggested, starting slow and using the tongue and whatnot. A pretty good performance if I do say so myself."
"She didn't agree?" Ryan asks, still struggling to achieve a tone of voice appropriate for the conversation.
"No, she seemed into it -- there was even a bit of moaning and gasping, just like with yo— uh, just like you said."
Ryan waited.
"And she certainly brought her A game as well. Very talented, that one," Seth continues. "But uh…" Seth laughed mirthlessly.
Ryan waited again.
"Nothing."
"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Ryan asks
"I mean I felt nothing, OK? It was like kissing my sister."
Ryan feels a surge of joy that he immediately tamps down. "You don't have a sister," he says -- it's the first thing that pops into his mind. Something about Seth makes him do that.
Seth turns to look at him for the first time. His expression is unlike anything Ryan's seen before on the boy; his eyes look hard, hurt, a little angry even. He looks away.
"I've been obsessed with her for as long as I can remember, and now that she is actually interested in giving me the time of day, I..." Seth trails off. "I mean, isn't kissing someone you like supposed to make you feel lightheaded, giddy, like your nerve ends are trying to jump out of your skin and onto the other person?"
Ryan smiles -- Seth has such a cute way with words, it always charms him.
"Like there are no other people alive, nothing else happening in the world except that kiss, that moment." Seth continues, no longer asking but simply stating, softly, what he knows is true. "I didn't feel any of that. What does that mean?" he asks. He's staring off into space now, the look in his eyes still the same odd, hard expression Ryan noted earlier.
"I don't know," Ryan says. He's pretty sure he's not being very comforting to Seth, but really, he's at a loss. He doesn't know what Seth wants to hear. He's searching Seth's face for some hint when Seth speaks again.
"What does it mean that I felt all those things when I kissed you?" he asks. He turns to make eye contact briefly, and Ryan catches a heartbreakingly earnest, hopeful look in his eyes before Seth looks down again, at the sand lying motionless under his hands.
Ryan is staring at Seth, mouth agape. This is everything he's desperately wanted for the past few days, weeks, and also everything he's been horrifyingly afraid of. It challenges everything about Ryan's identity, it threatens his nice safe home environment, it sets him up for a big, big heartbreak. Yet. The pull of Seth is undeniable. Ryan feels like a wave, about to crest and splash all over the sand, all over Seth.
"Look, forget I said anything," Seth says, and starts to stand, brushing sand off his hands and jeans.
Ryan stands too, grabs Seth's wrist. Seth stops in his tracks, still facing away.
"I felt it too," Ryan says thickly.
Seth turns around and stares at Ryan, making full eye contact this time.
The boys stand there, staring into each other's eyes, Ryan's hand around Seth's wrist. Seth licks his dry lips, swallows. Ryan stands still, eyes wide and more expressive than Seth has ever seen -- fear, nerves, anticipation, desire.
"So, uh, what, um. What do we do now?" Seth asks. But he knows the answer; he's already moving his head slowly towards Ryan's face. A split second before their lips meet, Ryan pauses. Breathing his words onto Seth's lips, he says "we go back to the pool house."
Ryan showered and ate after he got home from work, and immediately sequestered himself in the pool house. He didn't want to get in their way if they came home. He'd even closed the blinds on the pool house so that if Seth and Summer decide to use the pool, he won't see anything. He figures if he hears them splashing, he'll scoot out the side door and head to the beach, giving them their privacy.
But so far he's heard nothing. He can't stand sitting around anymore, so he decides to take that walk to the beach now.
Walking towards the ocean, Ryan wishes he had some cigarettes -- this is exactly the kind of empty, frustrating, pensive, confusing moment in life that calls for one. He kicks at the sand a little as he walks, staring down at his feet. He almost doesn't see the figure sitting on the beach at all, but when his eyes do look up, he knows instantly it's Seth. He'd know Seth anywhere. And -- no Summer. Ryan approaches.
"Early date." Ryan says, sitting next to him in the sand, careful not to touch him this time.
"Yeah." Seth replies, unusually quiet.
"What happened?" Ryan asks, looking at him sideways.
Seth is sifting sand through his fingers, not looking at Ryan. "We kissed."
"And?" Ryan asks, swallowing the hot rise of jealousy in his throat.
"I, uh, did everything you suggested, starting slow and using the tongue and whatnot. A pretty good performance if I do say so myself."
"She didn't agree?" Ryan asks, still struggling to achieve a tone of voice appropriate for the conversation.
"No, she seemed into it -- there was even a bit of moaning and gasping, just like with yo— uh, just like you said."
Ryan waited.
"And she certainly brought her A game as well. Very talented, that one," Seth continues. "But uh…" Seth laughed mirthlessly.
Ryan waited again.
"Nothing."
"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Ryan asks
"I mean I felt nothing, OK? It was like kissing my sister."
Ryan feels a surge of joy that he immediately tamps down. "You don't have a sister," he says -- it's the first thing that pops into his mind. Something about Seth makes him do that.
Seth turns to look at him for the first time. His expression is unlike anything Ryan's seen before on the boy; his eyes look hard, hurt, a little angry even. He looks away.
"I've been obsessed with her for as long as I can remember, and now that she is actually interested in giving me the time of day, I..." Seth trails off. "I mean, isn't kissing someone you like supposed to make you feel lightheaded, giddy, like your nerve ends are trying to jump out of your skin and onto the other person?"
Ryan smiles -- Seth has such a cute way with words, it always charms him.
"Like there are no other people alive, nothing else happening in the world except that kiss, that moment." Seth continues, no longer asking but simply stating, softly, what he knows is true. "I didn't feel any of that. What does that mean?" he asks. He's staring off into space now, the look in his eyes still the same odd, hard expression Ryan noted earlier.
"I don't know," Ryan says. He's pretty sure he's not being very comforting to Seth, but really, he's at a loss. He doesn't know what Seth wants to hear. He's searching Seth's face for some hint when Seth speaks again.
"What does it mean that I felt all those things when I kissed you?" he asks. He turns to make eye contact briefly, and Ryan catches a heartbreakingly earnest, hopeful look in his eyes before Seth looks down again, at the sand lying motionless under his hands.
Ryan is staring at Seth, mouth agape. This is everything he's desperately wanted for the past few days, weeks, and also everything he's been horrifyingly afraid of. It challenges everything about Ryan's identity, it threatens his nice safe home environment, it sets him up for a big, big heartbreak. Yet. The pull of Seth is undeniable. Ryan feels like a wave, about to crest and splash all over the sand, all over Seth.
"Look, forget I said anything," Seth says, and starts to stand, brushing sand off his hands and jeans.
Ryan stands too, grabs Seth's wrist. Seth stops in his tracks, still facing away.
"I felt it too," Ryan says thickly.
Seth turns around and stares at Ryan, making full eye contact this time.
The boys stand there, staring into each other's eyes, Ryan's hand around Seth's wrist. Seth licks his dry lips, swallows. Ryan stands still, eyes wide and more expressive than Seth has ever seen -- fear, nerves, anticipation, desire.
"So, uh, what, um. What do we do now?" Seth asks. But he knows the answer; he's already moving his head slowly towards Ryan's face. A split second before their lips meet, Ryan pauses. Breathing his words onto Seth's lips, he says "we go back to the pool house."