Garret watched as Jordan finished closing the body on the table in front of
her.
"Jordan, I need to talk to you."
"Man, that sounded ominous."
Garret noticed she sounded almost normal. He cringed as he realized she was beginning to heal. He almost felt it would have been easier if she was still hurting.
"Geez, Garret it can't be that bad...or is it?"
"It's about the trial."
She swore to herself she would be front and center to watch Cahill be put away...but as the opening arguments began she couldn't even open the paper. Jordan wondered if something had already jeopardized the case.
"Jordan, I don't know where to begin."
"You are scaring me now."
"Walcott is calling a witness to the stand today that..."
"Jordan!" Garret and Jordan turned to Lily's yell from the doorway. "You were right! He's alive. Woody's alive. They showed him on the TV being escorted into the courthouse. He's the surprise witness they talking about...."
There was utter silence as Lily's animated announcement trailed out. Jordan held her breath for a moment. The passed few months flashed in her mind. Everything. The last confrontation she had with Woody; the finality of his last words to her. It was almost like he knew he was going to die. He did know, because it was all staged. The scene, the body. It was all a lie.
"I need to get down there."
"Jordan, you can't."
"Garret..."
"He's right Jordan. It's a madhouse down there. You won't be able to get in. The marshals have the place sealed off.
The reality of the situation hit Jordan she braced her hands on the edge of the examination table and looked down at the body in front of her. There was a body at the scene. She spent hours chasing her tail trying to find answers for Woody's family and for herself. For weeks she thought she was loosing her mind.
"If Woody wasn't in that car....who was?"
"A medical cadaver."
Lily gasped and Jordan glared.
"How could you know that Garret?" Jordan asked. "Unless....oh my God. You've known all along, haven't you.....?"
Garret knew this moment was coming.
"....And you didn't say anything..."
"Jordan"
"Garret, how could you."
"I didn't have a choice."
"I thought we were friends Garret."
"Walcott called me the day that officer from the twenty-seven was found shot. Woody was there. That's when I first found out he had been working with the FBI building a case against the mob. Something went wrong. I don't know all the details but, I do know that they didn't have a choice."
"You did though, Garret, you had a choice. You lied through you teeth not only to me but to Woody's family..." Jordan looked over at Lily who couldn't decide if she wanted to cry or not. "....and his friends.....and for that I don't know if I can ever forgive you."
Even as the words came out of her mouth Jordan knew she was being unreasonable, but she was confused and hurt and Garret gave her a target to take her frustrations. She walked passed him and out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jordan spent the rest of her day fighting the desire to storm the courtroom. She caught a glimpse of Bernard during a news conference after testimony had been suspended for the day. He was a marshal not the FBI. She ignored the fact that the marshal's were in charge of the witness protection program.
She would wait. After the trial was over, she'd have all the time in the world...to box his ears.
~~~~~~
Two days into Woody's testimony Jordan had a visitor. It was late but she was still awake. She cracked open the door of her apartment and came face to face with Blackie Conroy. She tried to shut the door in his face.
"Jordan is that the way to greet an old friend of your father's."
Blackie pushed his way into Jordan's apartment.
"Get out of here before I call the police."
"I'll only take a moment of your time. How have you been Jordan?"
"Your moment is running out."
"Jordan, I just wanted to....a...deliver a message for me. I ...appreciate your friend, Detective Hoyt, having balls enough to testify against Cahill. He has saved me a lot of trouble. Let him know that if I can ever return the favor..."
"He didn't do anything for you..."
"Of course not; he did it for you."
"Detective Hoyt was just doing his job."
"Of course."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Detective Hoyt, your dismissed."
With those four words the judge let Woody leave the courtroom for the last time. The last few days he was bombarded from all directions while sitting on the witness stand. He was tired and battered.
He knew within the next twenty fours he would wake up in a new town with a new name starting a new life, tired, battered and homesick.
Outside the courthouse walls, the sound of heavy rain beating the windows matched his mood. Surrounded by guards, he made their way through the drab corridors back to the small meeting room that had been his holding cell for the extent of the trial.
Woody stole a glance at Bernard as he walked into the room. At that moment he couldn't decide who he hated worse. The man that stood to be convicted in the other room or Bernard, who sat there like God himself , planning Woody's life down to the most infinitesimal detail.
"There's been a delay." Bernard's deep emotionless voice said. "This storm has the airport is closed until at least morning. It's impossible to take you back to the safe house at that point...we are looking into other options."
"Then let me go home."
"If you are referring to your apartment, you're belongings were shipped back to Wisconsin weeks ago. We are working on a room at the Seasons right now. It's close and easy to secure. I'll be back when I have something definite"
Bernard left the room leaving Woody alone with Tillman.
"You pulled it off Hoyt. I don't know how to thank you."
"Thank by getting me an hour."
Tillman shook his head. They had had this conversation before. The first time was when he found Hoyt trying to call Dr. Cavanaugh. Hoyt wanted one hour to say goodbye to his friend. An hour to explain why he treated her the way he did. Hoyt told him that he couldn't go to his new life without knowing that Jordan could forgive him.
There was more to it than that and Tillman knew it. Hoyt wanted to say goodbye to the woman he loved.
"You know I can't Woody."
"Can you say that if you were in my shoes?"
Tillman looked away. Hoyt hit a nerve. Tillman thought about he woman he swore he would marry the minute this case was over. The idea of never seeing her again because of circumstances out of his control ate at his gut.
"It's not smart."
"If I were smart I wouldn't be in the situation I am in now."
"Let me talk to Bernard, don't get your hopes up....we'll think of something."
"Thank you"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bernard radioed to make sure the cars were all in place. With luck the rain would provide enough cover to get Hoyt in and out of the Pearl Street apartment building before any one realized his was there.
"Alright Hoyt, we're here. I have my team stationed around the building. I'll have a guy right outside her door. When you are ready to leave, just come out."
~~~~~~
Jordan heard the elevators doors close outside her apartment door. For some reason her heart began to pound. She wasn't surprised when she heard a knock at the door. He was right outside her door and she could feel it. She knew this moment would come. She rehearsed what she would say to him from the second she found out he was alive. She flung the door open.
Woody stood outside looking like a battle wary soldier returning from war. His hair was standing on end like he had raked his hands though it a hundred times. The loose tie around his neck looked as tired and limp as the suit he was wearing.
"Hello Jordan"
Jordan opened her mouth to deliver the harsh words that were bubbling up through her, but they vanished. She reached out a trembling hand to touch his cheek.
She traced his face with her fingers like a blind person would, studying each ridge and each line. His face was different somehow she thought, but yet the same. Little lines radiated for around his mouth showing the stress he had been under. And then it hit her as she ran her fingers over his brows. Her farm boy was gone.
"May I come in?" he asked.
Jordan stepped aside. She slowly closed the door and locked it; trying to vainly lock out the rest of the world. She turned to him and held her arms open. Woody hesitated only a second before he stepped into them.
"Tell me to go to hell, Jordan."
His voice sounded coarse, almost unrecognizable to her. She fought back the tears and held him tight. Her lips brushed his ears as she whispered...
"It's okay. It's over. It's all over."
Without reservation Jordan lifted her face and kissed him. At first his lips were soft and tentative. But soon the anger and frustration of the last few months manifested itself as one kiss lead to another. He pulled away the silent question in his eyes. Her nod was barely noticeable but it spoke volumes to him. Woody lifted her into his arms and walked toward her bed watching her face with every step. He laid her on top and followed her down. He kissed her deeply pouring out his heart and soul. Jordan stopped thinking for a moment. She stopped thinking about how she was deceived by people she held dear. She stopped thinking her lose of trust. It was time to just follow her heart openly. Tomorrow would be soon enough to search for answers. Tonight she just wanted to start over...with the man who had her heart. The man who made her believe in love.
Woody reached up underneath her shirt and splayed his hands over the skin of her back, marveling at the feminine taper from shoulders to waist. "I love Jordan" he whispered and she snuggled closer. One hour wouldn't be enough he admitted to himself. Bernard was going to have to hold a gun to his head to get him to leave before the stormy night was over.
~~~~~~~
Woody tucked her head onto his shoulder as the sun lightened the milky glaze her windows. His breathing was struggling to return to normal when Jordan gave him a lazy smile.
Their lovemaking was intense and passionate. His touch was sure and loving. He took her to heights she never knew truly existed. Just when she thought she couldn't go any further he would only prove her wrong.
There wasn't any talk of the past or the future. No walls, no pretences, just raw, unconnected words of encouragement and gratitude.
There was no laughter either....
....only a dark desperation; like he was trying to fill a lifetime into a single night.
Woody traced a finger down her cheek, his eyes were so consuming she had to look away. He rolled out of bed totally unashamed of his nudity and walked over to look out one of the clear panels of glass that faced the front of the building. He was still staring out when Jordan wrapped her arms around him. He leaned back for a second and she placed a kiss between his shoulder blades. She rested her ear against his back relished in the sound of his beating heart and the feel of his skin so whole so alive.
"I have to go. They're waiting for me."
His voice softly rumbled through his body and echoed in her ear. A cold stab of fear shot through her. She stepped away from him.
"What do you mean?"
"I have to go Jordan. I'm sorry."
Jordan didn't try to control the panic in her voice. "You're coming back..."
Woody turned to grab his clothes and she didn't miss the tears that fell down his face.
"No" Jordan exhaled. It felt like the air had been forced out of her lungs as the reality of the situation hit her.
"It's the only way I'm sorry."
Jordan looked out the window and saw Bernard standing at the curb. Unmarked cars lined the block. She ran around to the rear of the apartment and raised the window. A cold blast of the early autumn dawn air hit her face but she was beyond feeling it. The feds had sealed off the alley.
"No!" she screamed.
Jordan turned back; he was dressed and ready to leave his rumpled suit jacket hanging on the back of the chair. She lunged herself at him kicking and hitting.
"You told me you loved me! You promised me damn it. You promised you'd always be there for me."
Woody knew he made that promise a long time ago, before any of this had happened. It didn't make him feel less guilty.
"Sweet Jesus, I do love you Jordan."
"You can't do this...you can't go."
"If it were just me I would I say the hell with it; but I need to think of my family....of you... Jordan I love you more than anything. Even my own life. I can't take the chance you could get hurt."
"So you'd rather do it yourself?"
"Jordan, please stop. I don't want to leave you like this."
She griped the front of his shirt. "I'll go with you. Yes. I'll go with you."
She franticly looked around the floor for her clothes. Finding nothing, she ran to her dresser pulling out drawers oblivious the items rolling off the top in her haste.
Jordan felt his hands cup her shoulders. "You can't Jordan."
She turned into him. "Yes, yes I can. It's not too late. Bernard can get me a new name too."
He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. She could feel the wetness of his tears as they mixed with hers.
"Your life is here. "
"I want to be with you."
A look of shear pain crossed his face.
He whispered "its impossible Jordan. You have a responsibility to the people who need you to find them justice and their loved one's peace of mind."
"I don't care....." he placed a finger to her mouth.
"You may feel that right now, but it wouldn't be long before you would regret your decision. And for the rest of your life you'd end up hating yourself..."
"What about you Hoyt? Do you regret your decision?"
"From the second I made it."
"Then why did you do it? Was Cahill worth it?"
"I had a responsibility also. The scales needed to be balanced."
There was a quiet knock on the door; the sound wrenched the heart from Jordan's chest. The time had come. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair not willing to give up. Not yet.
"Jordan I love you, with all my heart and soul. I always will. You need to believe that."
He stepped away leaving her feeling as cold as death. The door closed quietly behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The airplane leveled off as Bernard handed Woody his dossier.
"As of this moment Detective Woodrow Hoyt doesn't exist."
"He died before we turned off Pearl Street." His voice cold even to his own ears. He was beyond caring anymore.
"I want you to know your government is thankful for you sacrifices..."
"Fuck my government."
"I'll leave you alone to look over the paper work."
Bernard stood and walked to the forward of the plane. Woody threw the envelope into the seat he had just vacated.
"Fuck me." he spat looking out the window.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas was always a tough season. This year it was especially cold and damp. The kind of cold that slices you to the bone. Jordan had just left an impromptu holiday party at Pogue. The roaring fireplace pushing away the chill of the evening. Everyone eating, drinking, singing, and dancing like they didn't have a care in the world and she was the life of the party. Some days were easier than others. Eddie asked to see her home and she told him no. She didn't think she would be able to carry her end of the conversation.
Jordan stood outside her building and looked up at the bitter cold sky watching her breath as it crystallized in the air. In and Out. In and Out. Sometimes she thought it would have been easier if he did die in the explosion, that day so long ago.
She walked up the three flights of stairs to her apartment and opened the door. She looked at her small apartment with mixed feelings. She needed to move. The place was unpractical. She couldn't give it up, not yet.
She ran her hand down the kitchen counter and humming a song she heard on the way home. She stopped her closet and opened the door. She reached in deep, deep in the back, and pulled out the wrinkled suit coat. Howard had told her a number of times that she should throw it out. She even tried a few times, but could never seem to do it. For the first few weeks she couldn't bring herself to put it away. Soon after that she would only hang it up, just bring it out again. Those days were getting few and far between now. But tonight she needed it out. She pulled the jacket on, knowing right where her fingers would hit the cuff. She knew the exact colors of the threads in its cloth. She wrapped her arms around herself and buried her nose in the collar. His scent was long since replaced with her own.
The phone rang once. She reached to answer it but it stopped ringing. Her crank caller didn't call as frequently as they used to. She decided to double check with Mrs. Granger to make sure she hadn't called. Jordan picked up the phone and pressed the speed dial. It was answered on the second ring.
"Mrs. Granger did you just call?" Jordan whispered into the phone.
It was habit to whisper to Mrs. Granger at this time of night.
"No honey, it wasn't me."
"Oh ok. I thought...I thought maybe he woke up. I just...."
"Jordan dear, we went through this earlier. It's got to be forty below out there. He's sleeping like an angel, all warm and snug. You can pick him up first thing in the morning. Enjoy a night off, have a glass of wine and take a long bath. You deserve it."
Jordan knew she was right. It was too cold. She wiped a tear away from her face.
"Alright, I'll see you in the morning."
Jordan hung up the phone and poured herself a glass of wine. She carried it over to her bed setting in on the night stand. Tomorrow would be soon enough to look at those summer blue eyes and kiss those dimpled fingers. She lay down and pulled the jacket tighter around herself. Tomorrow would be another day and the next and the next. They had each other, and that has always been enough. Jordan fell into a dreamless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Ok, this was the original story was going to end ...well sort of...I changed the ending slightly to give me a tangible reason to bring Woody back (One of MadamBeth's...'wouldn't it be nice' moments). The second half of the story is basically a sequel... I debated on posting it as such but decided to tag it on. It's a little lighter than the first half (and I have to admit a little OOC, but hey I took in consideration a few life changing events...lol) ...if you should decide to hang on for the rest of the ride I hope you enjoy.
"Jordan, I need to talk to you."
"Man, that sounded ominous."
Garret noticed she sounded almost normal. He cringed as he realized she was beginning to heal. He almost felt it would have been easier if she was still hurting.
"Geez, Garret it can't be that bad...or is it?"
"It's about the trial."
She swore to herself she would be front and center to watch Cahill be put away...but as the opening arguments began she couldn't even open the paper. Jordan wondered if something had already jeopardized the case.
"Jordan, I don't know where to begin."
"You are scaring me now."
"Walcott is calling a witness to the stand today that..."
"Jordan!" Garret and Jordan turned to Lily's yell from the doorway. "You were right! He's alive. Woody's alive. They showed him on the TV being escorted into the courthouse. He's the surprise witness they talking about...."
There was utter silence as Lily's animated announcement trailed out. Jordan held her breath for a moment. The passed few months flashed in her mind. Everything. The last confrontation she had with Woody; the finality of his last words to her. It was almost like he knew he was going to die. He did know, because it was all staged. The scene, the body. It was all a lie.
"I need to get down there."
"Jordan, you can't."
"Garret..."
"He's right Jordan. It's a madhouse down there. You won't be able to get in. The marshals have the place sealed off.
The reality of the situation hit Jordan she braced her hands on the edge of the examination table and looked down at the body in front of her. There was a body at the scene. She spent hours chasing her tail trying to find answers for Woody's family and for herself. For weeks she thought she was loosing her mind.
"If Woody wasn't in that car....who was?"
"A medical cadaver."
Lily gasped and Jordan glared.
"How could you know that Garret?" Jordan asked. "Unless....oh my God. You've known all along, haven't you.....?"
Garret knew this moment was coming.
"....And you didn't say anything..."
"Jordan"
"Garret, how could you."
"I didn't have a choice."
"I thought we were friends Garret."
"Walcott called me the day that officer from the twenty-seven was found shot. Woody was there. That's when I first found out he had been working with the FBI building a case against the mob. Something went wrong. I don't know all the details but, I do know that they didn't have a choice."
"You did though, Garret, you had a choice. You lied through you teeth not only to me but to Woody's family..." Jordan looked over at Lily who couldn't decide if she wanted to cry or not. "....and his friends.....and for that I don't know if I can ever forgive you."
Even as the words came out of her mouth Jordan knew she was being unreasonable, but she was confused and hurt and Garret gave her a target to take her frustrations. She walked passed him and out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jordan spent the rest of her day fighting the desire to storm the courtroom. She caught a glimpse of Bernard during a news conference after testimony had been suspended for the day. He was a marshal not the FBI. She ignored the fact that the marshal's were in charge of the witness protection program.
She would wait. After the trial was over, she'd have all the time in the world...to box his ears.
~~~~~~
Two days into Woody's testimony Jordan had a visitor. It was late but she was still awake. She cracked open the door of her apartment and came face to face with Blackie Conroy. She tried to shut the door in his face.
"Jordan is that the way to greet an old friend of your father's."
Blackie pushed his way into Jordan's apartment.
"Get out of here before I call the police."
"I'll only take a moment of your time. How have you been Jordan?"
"Your moment is running out."
"Jordan, I just wanted to....a...deliver a message for me. I ...appreciate your friend, Detective Hoyt, having balls enough to testify against Cahill. He has saved me a lot of trouble. Let him know that if I can ever return the favor..."
"He didn't do anything for you..."
"Of course not; he did it for you."
"Detective Hoyt was just doing his job."
"Of course."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Detective Hoyt, your dismissed."
With those four words the judge let Woody leave the courtroom for the last time. The last few days he was bombarded from all directions while sitting on the witness stand. He was tired and battered.
He knew within the next twenty fours he would wake up in a new town with a new name starting a new life, tired, battered and homesick.
Outside the courthouse walls, the sound of heavy rain beating the windows matched his mood. Surrounded by guards, he made their way through the drab corridors back to the small meeting room that had been his holding cell for the extent of the trial.
Woody stole a glance at Bernard as he walked into the room. At that moment he couldn't decide who he hated worse. The man that stood to be convicted in the other room or Bernard, who sat there like God himself , planning Woody's life down to the most infinitesimal detail.
"There's been a delay." Bernard's deep emotionless voice said. "This storm has the airport is closed until at least morning. It's impossible to take you back to the safe house at that point...we are looking into other options."
"Then let me go home."
"If you are referring to your apartment, you're belongings were shipped back to Wisconsin weeks ago. We are working on a room at the Seasons right now. It's close and easy to secure. I'll be back when I have something definite"
Bernard left the room leaving Woody alone with Tillman.
"You pulled it off Hoyt. I don't know how to thank you."
"Thank by getting me an hour."
Tillman shook his head. They had had this conversation before. The first time was when he found Hoyt trying to call Dr. Cavanaugh. Hoyt wanted one hour to say goodbye to his friend. An hour to explain why he treated her the way he did. Hoyt told him that he couldn't go to his new life without knowing that Jordan could forgive him.
There was more to it than that and Tillman knew it. Hoyt wanted to say goodbye to the woman he loved.
"You know I can't Woody."
"Can you say that if you were in my shoes?"
Tillman looked away. Hoyt hit a nerve. Tillman thought about he woman he swore he would marry the minute this case was over. The idea of never seeing her again because of circumstances out of his control ate at his gut.
"It's not smart."
"If I were smart I wouldn't be in the situation I am in now."
"Let me talk to Bernard, don't get your hopes up....we'll think of something."
"Thank you"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bernard radioed to make sure the cars were all in place. With luck the rain would provide enough cover to get Hoyt in and out of the Pearl Street apartment building before any one realized his was there.
"Alright Hoyt, we're here. I have my team stationed around the building. I'll have a guy right outside her door. When you are ready to leave, just come out."
~~~~~~
Jordan heard the elevators doors close outside her apartment door. For some reason her heart began to pound. She wasn't surprised when she heard a knock at the door. He was right outside her door and she could feel it. She knew this moment would come. She rehearsed what she would say to him from the second she found out he was alive. She flung the door open.
Woody stood outside looking like a battle wary soldier returning from war. His hair was standing on end like he had raked his hands though it a hundred times. The loose tie around his neck looked as tired and limp as the suit he was wearing.
"Hello Jordan"
Jordan opened her mouth to deliver the harsh words that were bubbling up through her, but they vanished. She reached out a trembling hand to touch his cheek.
She traced his face with her fingers like a blind person would, studying each ridge and each line. His face was different somehow she thought, but yet the same. Little lines radiated for around his mouth showing the stress he had been under. And then it hit her as she ran her fingers over his brows. Her farm boy was gone.
"May I come in?" he asked.
Jordan stepped aside. She slowly closed the door and locked it; trying to vainly lock out the rest of the world. She turned to him and held her arms open. Woody hesitated only a second before he stepped into them.
"Tell me to go to hell, Jordan."
His voice sounded coarse, almost unrecognizable to her. She fought back the tears and held him tight. Her lips brushed his ears as she whispered...
"It's okay. It's over. It's all over."
Without reservation Jordan lifted her face and kissed him. At first his lips were soft and tentative. But soon the anger and frustration of the last few months manifested itself as one kiss lead to another. He pulled away the silent question in his eyes. Her nod was barely noticeable but it spoke volumes to him. Woody lifted her into his arms and walked toward her bed watching her face with every step. He laid her on top and followed her down. He kissed her deeply pouring out his heart and soul. Jordan stopped thinking for a moment. She stopped thinking about how she was deceived by people she held dear. She stopped thinking her lose of trust. It was time to just follow her heart openly. Tomorrow would be soon enough to search for answers. Tonight she just wanted to start over...with the man who had her heart. The man who made her believe in love.
Woody reached up underneath her shirt and splayed his hands over the skin of her back, marveling at the feminine taper from shoulders to waist. "I love Jordan" he whispered and she snuggled closer. One hour wouldn't be enough he admitted to himself. Bernard was going to have to hold a gun to his head to get him to leave before the stormy night was over.
~~~~~~~
Woody tucked her head onto his shoulder as the sun lightened the milky glaze her windows. His breathing was struggling to return to normal when Jordan gave him a lazy smile.
Their lovemaking was intense and passionate. His touch was sure and loving. He took her to heights she never knew truly existed. Just when she thought she couldn't go any further he would only prove her wrong.
There wasn't any talk of the past or the future. No walls, no pretences, just raw, unconnected words of encouragement and gratitude.
There was no laughter either....
....only a dark desperation; like he was trying to fill a lifetime into a single night.
Woody traced a finger down her cheek, his eyes were so consuming she had to look away. He rolled out of bed totally unashamed of his nudity and walked over to look out one of the clear panels of glass that faced the front of the building. He was still staring out when Jordan wrapped her arms around him. He leaned back for a second and she placed a kiss between his shoulder blades. She rested her ear against his back relished in the sound of his beating heart and the feel of his skin so whole so alive.
"I have to go. They're waiting for me."
His voice softly rumbled through his body and echoed in her ear. A cold stab of fear shot through her. She stepped away from him.
"What do you mean?"
"I have to go Jordan. I'm sorry."
Jordan didn't try to control the panic in her voice. "You're coming back..."
Woody turned to grab his clothes and she didn't miss the tears that fell down his face.
"No" Jordan exhaled. It felt like the air had been forced out of her lungs as the reality of the situation hit her.
"It's the only way I'm sorry."
Jordan looked out the window and saw Bernard standing at the curb. Unmarked cars lined the block. She ran around to the rear of the apartment and raised the window. A cold blast of the early autumn dawn air hit her face but she was beyond feeling it. The feds had sealed off the alley.
"No!" she screamed.
Jordan turned back; he was dressed and ready to leave his rumpled suit jacket hanging on the back of the chair. She lunged herself at him kicking and hitting.
"You told me you loved me! You promised me damn it. You promised you'd always be there for me."
Woody knew he made that promise a long time ago, before any of this had happened. It didn't make him feel less guilty.
"Sweet Jesus, I do love you Jordan."
"You can't do this...you can't go."
"If it were just me I would I say the hell with it; but I need to think of my family....of you... Jordan I love you more than anything. Even my own life. I can't take the chance you could get hurt."
"So you'd rather do it yourself?"
"Jordan, please stop. I don't want to leave you like this."
She griped the front of his shirt. "I'll go with you. Yes. I'll go with you."
She franticly looked around the floor for her clothes. Finding nothing, she ran to her dresser pulling out drawers oblivious the items rolling off the top in her haste.
Jordan felt his hands cup her shoulders. "You can't Jordan."
She turned into him. "Yes, yes I can. It's not too late. Bernard can get me a new name too."
He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. She could feel the wetness of his tears as they mixed with hers.
"Your life is here. "
"I want to be with you."
A look of shear pain crossed his face.
He whispered "its impossible Jordan. You have a responsibility to the people who need you to find them justice and their loved one's peace of mind."
"I don't care....." he placed a finger to her mouth.
"You may feel that right now, but it wouldn't be long before you would regret your decision. And for the rest of your life you'd end up hating yourself..."
"What about you Hoyt? Do you regret your decision?"
"From the second I made it."
"Then why did you do it? Was Cahill worth it?"
"I had a responsibility also. The scales needed to be balanced."
There was a quiet knock on the door; the sound wrenched the heart from Jordan's chest. The time had come. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair not willing to give up. Not yet.
"Jordan I love you, with all my heart and soul. I always will. You need to believe that."
He stepped away leaving her feeling as cold as death. The door closed quietly behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The airplane leveled off as Bernard handed Woody his dossier.
"As of this moment Detective Woodrow Hoyt doesn't exist."
"He died before we turned off Pearl Street." His voice cold even to his own ears. He was beyond caring anymore.
"I want you to know your government is thankful for you sacrifices..."
"Fuck my government."
"I'll leave you alone to look over the paper work."
Bernard stood and walked to the forward of the plane. Woody threw the envelope into the seat he had just vacated.
"Fuck me." he spat looking out the window.
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Christmas was always a tough season. This year it was especially cold and damp. The kind of cold that slices you to the bone. Jordan had just left an impromptu holiday party at Pogue. The roaring fireplace pushing away the chill of the evening. Everyone eating, drinking, singing, and dancing like they didn't have a care in the world and she was the life of the party. Some days were easier than others. Eddie asked to see her home and she told him no. She didn't think she would be able to carry her end of the conversation.
Jordan stood outside her building and looked up at the bitter cold sky watching her breath as it crystallized in the air. In and Out. In and Out. Sometimes she thought it would have been easier if he did die in the explosion, that day so long ago.
She walked up the three flights of stairs to her apartment and opened the door. She looked at her small apartment with mixed feelings. She needed to move. The place was unpractical. She couldn't give it up, not yet.
She ran her hand down the kitchen counter and humming a song she heard on the way home. She stopped her closet and opened the door. She reached in deep, deep in the back, and pulled out the wrinkled suit coat. Howard had told her a number of times that she should throw it out. She even tried a few times, but could never seem to do it. For the first few weeks she couldn't bring herself to put it away. Soon after that she would only hang it up, just bring it out again. Those days were getting few and far between now. But tonight she needed it out. She pulled the jacket on, knowing right where her fingers would hit the cuff. She knew the exact colors of the threads in its cloth. She wrapped her arms around herself and buried her nose in the collar. His scent was long since replaced with her own.
The phone rang once. She reached to answer it but it stopped ringing. Her crank caller didn't call as frequently as they used to. She decided to double check with Mrs. Granger to make sure she hadn't called. Jordan picked up the phone and pressed the speed dial. It was answered on the second ring.
"Mrs. Granger did you just call?" Jordan whispered into the phone.
It was habit to whisper to Mrs. Granger at this time of night.
"No honey, it wasn't me."
"Oh ok. I thought...I thought maybe he woke up. I just...."
"Jordan dear, we went through this earlier. It's got to be forty below out there. He's sleeping like an angel, all warm and snug. You can pick him up first thing in the morning. Enjoy a night off, have a glass of wine and take a long bath. You deserve it."
Jordan knew she was right. It was too cold. She wiped a tear away from her face.
"Alright, I'll see you in the morning."
Jordan hung up the phone and poured herself a glass of wine. She carried it over to her bed setting in on the night stand. Tomorrow would be soon enough to look at those summer blue eyes and kiss those dimpled fingers. She lay down and pulled the jacket tighter around herself. Tomorrow would be another day and the next and the next. They had each other, and that has always been enough. Jordan fell into a dreamless sleep.
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~Ok, this was the original story was going to end ...well sort of...I changed the ending slightly to give me a tangible reason to bring Woody back (One of MadamBeth's...'wouldn't it be nice' moments). The second half of the story is basically a sequel... I debated on posting it as such but decided to tag it on. It's a little lighter than the first half (and I have to admit a little OOC, but hey I took in consideration a few life changing events...lol) ...if you should decide to hang on for the rest of the ride I hope you enjoy.