EPOV
She may be... what?
She must be trolling now!
There was no way she'd be throwing all these big fucking words in the same day!
But she seemed... serious?
"What do you mean you may or may not be... pregnant?"
Wow!
Did I manage to say that word out loud?
Wow, just wow!
"I haven't taken the tests yet," she said.
Oh?
She must be equally scared!
"I remember you had said you didn't want to be a mother until you hit thirty," I said.
That's what she had said, right?
So... How was this going to work?
And she said she wanted a divorce!
So... What did all this mean?
"Well, we had said a lot of things." she said.
That's true.
Nothing seemed to be going as per the plan!
"My question to you is..." she said, "What if I am?"
What if she were?
Oh, was she asking me what if she were and what should we do in that case?
"How is that possible?" I asked. Not sure if that was a correct question to ask!
"Well... Technically it's possible," she said.
Yeah... That's right!
So now maybe I should say something to ease her panic?
"I'm sure we can take care of this?" I said, "I mean, there're options available. I mean, we're not ready for this. Don't worry! We'll figure out how to get rid of this."
Wait!
Was that something I wanted?
I mean, she said she didn't want to be a mother till thirty, and I was definitely not ready for this for at least the next three years.
But then, why did it feel wrong?
And... She looked at me with the same hurtful expressions.
No.
This time they seemed worse.
Okay, I had fucked this up again!
"No... Wait! Please wait! I don't even know what I'm talking about right now." I said as I rubbed my face in panic, "Don't take whatever I say right now seriously, please! I'm not able to think right now."
So what she meant was, there was a possibility that there was actually going to be a real person in our lives in the next few months!
What?
Like, what?
No, I wasn't ready for that.
Like, I had no fucking idea what I was supposed to do and how exactly it was going to work.
Was I even ready to take this responsibility?
Wasn't this exactly like when they had suddenly asked me to grow up and be ready to take on business responsibilities after Dad had passed away?
"I'm thirteen and I've just lost my father." I said.
"We know that," Big Pa said, "But it is what it is. We're not saying that you need to start from tomorrow. You have time till you complete your studies, but you need to understand that your childhood and youth ends at this point. It's time you understand your responsibilities. It's time you start diving deep into the details."
"Both of you have lost your mind. You're scaring me." I said, "I'm just a kid."
"You're not a kid anymore," Mom said, "And even if you think you're, it's high time you forget about that and move on. You've a lot of responsibilities, Edward."
"But I'm not ready." I said.
"Then take your time, and prepare yourself to get ready. It is what it is. I don't want to hear a single childish thing from you from now on. It's time you start understanding your responsibilities."
No, this seemed even worse than that. At that time, I knew Mom and big Pa were with me, and I actually had a few years to digest what was coming next.
I had failed terribly at that. They had asked me to grow up, and I felt like I never really grew up! I might have done a good job at handling business responsibilities, but that was all about it! I had failed at everything else.
And this current situation? This time I had no fucking idea what was I supposed to do and nobody was going to help me.
There was no way I could ever be a good father!
No, just no way!
Initially I thought I might be ready to be a father within the next few years, but... no!
I was never going to be a good father.
I was a pathetic son. That's what Mom always said.
I was a terrible friend. Apart from one or two friends, I had hardly managed to save any of my friendships because I had failed terribly at juggling my friendships and my responsibilities.
I was a coward and a loser boyfriend. That's what Angela had said.
I was a horrible boss. The only thing I knew was to crack the deals and get the business going. I doubted if anybody really liked me.
I was a terrible husband. I had terribly failed my wife. I couldn't be a good husband even with the terms and conditions we had defined. I had failed to understand her feelings beyond those terms and conditions, and now she wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible.
It's like I didn't have a single relation that I could proudly claim I was doing a good job.
Yeah.
There was no way I could ever be a good father!
Did I really want to add one more person to the list of people who I had failed?
And did I also want that person to be on the list of people who hated me?
What was all this pain I was feeling in my heart, I didn't get it!
I thought I was incapable of feeling these emotions anymore.
Then what was all this?
"Never mind..." Isabella said, "I got my answer."