BPOV
"Congratulations!" I said to him, "I'm not pregnant."
"Oh!" He said.
Oh?
I didn't know what that meant.
"Are you... Are you sure?" He asked.
"You can check the results there if you don't trust me," I said.
"Oh!" He said again.
He must be relieved.
I should be, too, but I wasn't!
Wasn't this for the best?
Now we didn't have anything to hold us together after the divorce, and we wouldn't have to worry about spoiling anyone's life.
But then why wasn't I happy?
Why did I want that baby?
Why did I want his baby?
I didn't understand!
"I should have tested it before talking to you," I said.
Yeah, that might have saved me from putting myself in the embarrassing situation I was in right now.
I wasn't able to control my tears now.
I knew I was looking pathetic.
I was looking so weak.
I was looking like a loser.
But I couldn't help it.
He came forward and took my hands in his.
"Isabella..." He said, "Please, look at me."
"Just leave me alone," I said.
But he didn't leave me.
Why was he doing this?
He always left me alone whenever I had asked him to.
I struggled to get myself freed from his grip, but failed miserably as he tightened his grip.
Why was he doing this?
Why wasn't he leaving me alone?
"Just look at me please..." He pleaded.
It took a lot of strength, but finally,
His eyes were nothing like I had seen them before.
They looked stressed, sincere, sad, and fearful. It's like he was going through a plethora of emotions at the moment.
"I hoped for the result to come out positive." He said.
What?
What did he mean?
"I'm sorry I took a lot of time to figure that out, but that's something I hoped for too while you were in," he said.
What did he mean?
Did he mean that he also wanted the baby even if he had mentioned earlier that he didn't want it for four years?
But...
"And..." He released his grip from my arms, and put his one hand on my cheek, "I want to work on our marriage. If you please, please give me a chance, I will do my best to be a good husband. Please..."
What?
Why did that do some unknown things to my heart? What were these emotions? I failed to recognize them!
Didn't Dad always say I could never stay firm on any of my decisions? I always argued with him on that, but wasn't that exactly what I was headed towards now?
Hadn't I already made the decision that I wanted a divorce?
Why should it matter to me if he didn't want it?
Why should I change my decision based on what he wanted?
But didn't I also want the same thing as him?
I felt like I had lost my ability to think anything!
So I just threw my arms around his neck and cried pathetically in his arms.
What was fucking wrong with me!
Why was I such a loser?