Disclaimers: Why? This world is so cruel?!! I don't want to admit it but I'm too poor if all of you charge me! If you wish for me to own them, I don't mind. Hehehe except wait till I earn my own profits. To tell you the truth I'm still 17!!! It definitely will be mine in future!!!! (baka dess!!! -_-") . I know I'm hentai!!*Sob sob*
Author's note: First of all I wanna say thank you to all my reviewers. I dunno if this fiction is so valuable to me and I found out when I received a lot of reviews from all of you. sTrAwbErYfAnSz, tsubasa, d-chan, and suke-san, sankyu!!!!!! Now, I don't mind if my fic sucks, as long as I still create my own worlds!! Thank you mina-san!!!
Warnings: Y-A-O-I! To tell you the truth I didn't know what it means at the first time but I get used to it now! Hehehe and I found out this recently that I'm a hentai writer *sob sob* my adolescent! Give it back to me!!! (-_-" baka-dess).
Shilly-shally
Chapter 4: Decision
After that accident, Taka-san sent Fuji to his own resident although it was too late, Mrs. Fuji tried to persuade Taka-san to have a cup of tea and take a seat. It seemed like it was a usual thing to do at this hour and not to mention that, she tried to hold Taka-san at the front door and chat about this morning news while Fuji walked to his own bedroom silently and left all the problems to deal for Taka-san. (Poor Taka-san).
Like usual, his bedroom was dark and Fuji seemed don't mind to turn off the light and also because he preferred this silent. He threw his bag next to the window where the cacti seemed to answer his sorrow and he lying mutely on his bed while the tears slowly moving down to his cheeks. When he moved his head towards the window, he could see the letter lying wordlessly near the cacti.
He made a move to grab the letter fiercely and put it inside the drawer. When he heard the drawer *bang* loudly, he chocked back his tears. How could he be so cruel to his own dearest brother? When the tears seemed to stop, the usual smile made back to his own place.
Once again he lying inaudibly on his bed, he thought maybe it would be better if he chose his own brother better than those freaks that turned his world into dust! Yeah freaks, what a good word to use! A moment before he felt guilty and now he felt hatred for them. What it would be for the moment later? Would he ever feel the feeling of love? Now he doubt it after all of this happened.
Would it be better if he chose Tezuka? But he knew that Taka-san wouldn't agree to leave him. And one more thing that he must confirm, he knew that Tezuka never care for him and the most important was he doubted Tezuka ever love him. Now the way Tezuka was acting must be because his ego to be the major player, did he thought that everything just like a tennis game included his feeling? He knew Tezuka too well, he knew all of that from the moment he became Seigaku's regular. The first time he being rejected by Tezuka and that he should hide all his pain with his smile. Did Tezuka ever know that to pretend a smile was really hurt like rib of your own heart?
That was true that the cold people wouldn't know what is love if it wore a name badge and hit you with a mallet. (Sorry, I borrow this line from another author).
What should he do?
"Fuji?" his mother called him behind the door. "Are you asleep? Do you know that Taka-san is really a nice person and he also a best person to chat with?….." he didn't know what his mother was muttering about while he drowned in his own world.
What should he do?
***
Today he must talked to Tezuka. It was the only way to solve this problem and he knew what he should do. He mustn't hurt both of them so it must be the perfect solution.
He met Tezuka near the Seigaku's changing room and when Tezuka arrived, he told him everything that could solve this triangle solution. Yes, it was the best way.
"Tezuka, I have to tell you something."
"Mmn, I know."
"I have broken with Taka-san. So?"
Tezuka only looked him quietly and he knew that with this silent Fuji already knew what the answer. The only thing he did is to share his conform to Fuji by hugging him and he didn't know that Fuji sobbing silently.
Fuji knew it was cruel to cheating people and the most important was to cheat the person who cared for you but he must do it if he wanted to find out whom the person he loved most although in the end he would hurt all of them include himself. While he tried to cover his sadness he didn't remember the letter still lying in the drawer with the writer feeling. Undiscovered by people.
-Poem-
Love
Love is a thrilling state of mind
In life, we would never fail to find;
Fancy colour our natural noble fires
Adding lives to our deep desires
But so long as it lasts, it rules
And last even after it rules
All rush to come under its magic power
And wish this spell to go on for ever
TBC
Thanks mina-san but it still not the ending so please keep reading although it sucks and it isn't a forbidden thing to leave reviews. Sorry for the delay because of the exam. Next time I will work harder for the support. Thanks!!!!