{Sorry this chapter was a little late; I've been quite swamped. ^^;; And I think development has been slow, so I promise the next chapter will be much speedier in terms of plot. Much gratefulness to Larania, Subaru Sumeragi-- and Saria, I hope I obliged you. ^_~ }
Ch. 5
Falling into Dreamscape, for her, is simply falling asleep. Her eyelids slowly shut out light, and then open again into the soft, quiet room. There is none of the waiting he must do, or the effort involved in projecting such a room-- though by now he is used to projecting, and therefore barely feels it himself.
Of late, she has been slipping in closer and closer to him, and tonight arrives sitting right next to him. Yes, she is blind in some ways, that she does not see what this means; but then, she is still in a mindset that believes only prophetic dreams deal in symbolism. Here, in the neutrality of their dream room, she feels no constraint to act as Fate or her own will dictate her to-- and thus, her actions are more telling than they can ever be otherwise.
He has actually grown accustomed to greeting her, silence no longer a habit he must keep and break only if his companion does. "Hokuto-chan." He summons a small smile for her; tiny miracle of its own, but his eyes are darkened nearly to brown in worry. "Hokuto-chan, you haven't been sleeping well--"
"Nah," she denies this with an emphatic shake of her head, her smile as wide and bright as ever. And yet-- he wonders, is there just a little more strain there? Is it just the slightest bit tighter than the first blissful time he saw it?
This is why he reaches out with one hand and halts the movement of her head by cupping a cheek. "Shh, Hokuto-chan. There are many things you can keep from me, but that isn't one of them."
Distress creeps into her eyes, and she lets the cheerful exterior slip. "I don't keep anything from you, Kakyou-kun. I don't." How can she? He is her… her ally, her friend, her anchor and her strength, for he knows of the dread pressing close to her heart and helps bolster her against it. The side of her that not even her brother knows struggles and schemes against Fate, searches the old prophecies futilely for any mention of the twin to the Seal with onmyoujitsu, and weeps over faces only seen while asleep. All of this under a smile-- good cheer that is the absolute truth, but not all of the truth-- and with the support of the man before her. To lie to him is unthinkable. Perhaps she has tried to gloss over her real condition, but only to protect him from worrying so.
He winces and stumbles over his words in his haste to reassure her, "I-- I know, I know… I just mean that you needn't hide what these dreams are doing to you, Hokuto-chan. They're terrible visions, worse than nightmares, I know." His eyes lock onto hers as he continues, those deep, soft wells radiating empathy, begging her more gently and persuasively than his words ever can, "I wouldn't blame you, not in the slightest, if you wanted to stop. Dreams are taking their toll on you; they're hurting you. I don't want to show you dreams that make you cry, I'd so much rather see you happy, laughing, as you should be. Please, Hokuto-chan, won't you…?"
As she returns his gaze, her eyes falter, and her face loses both the traces of its smile and the more pervasive sorrow. Instead she peers back at him in simple confusion, his words igniting a struggle deep inside her. To wake up in the morning without tear tracks down her cheeks, to spend her nights with him in peace instead of horror… And then, there is also another reason, only the barest of whispers in the deepest corner of her mind. Buried far, far down in the clock that beats out every second of her life, something too insubstantial to be called a thought-- a feeling-- has begun to take root. There is a reason no prophecy concerning Apocalypse mentions her, and it can only be that she will not be there to see it. Thus her stubborn effort to matter in this battle, and thus her desperate drive to live each day and night as fully as possible. But if her time runs short, isn't it better to spend what remains in contentment, rather than the struggle and agony she now submits herself to?
Isn't it?
She shivers a little as these thoughts race through her far too quickly to be processed, and her eyes open wide in a flare of emerald, then drop from his. In place of the rapid, fevered musings, a single picture has sprung into her mind, taken from one of the dreams he has showed her. It is of a young girl, dressed in a white gown, with flowing blonde hair and clear blue eyes. In the original dream, the girl was weeping, polishing a clear glass Earth with salt water. She sat up and tucked the globe behind her, then looked out into darkness with a serenity that belied the tears still trickling out. Death came to her in the form of the Kamui's Shinken, flying out of the darkness to impale her. The impact drove her body back, a little, though she remained propped up by the sword. Her eyes, now weeping blood, were wide with agony, but then she spoke the only words of the entire dream-- indeed, the only sound of the entire dream-- "The future… is still undecided." And her lips, unbelievably, curled themselves into a gentle, happy smile as life fled her, as the glass Earth underneath her rocked slightly but did not break.
She raises her bright green eyes to his amber again, hesitation gone from her, for it is this smile she is remembering now, and the sudden realization that perhaps she knows of what agony and what joy could bring such a smile. "Kakyou-kun, I understand why you offer this to me. And I thank you for caring for me so deeply. But the truth-- and you know it-- is that I can't turn my back now. Even if nothing I do can make a difference, I must try anyway." Her hand catches his as she searches for his understanding. She sees it, but coupled with sharp disappointment that he could not coax her away from her hard path, and so she adds, "but not tonight. Tonight… let's just go to the seashore." Again, her lips curve, and it is not so much her suggestion as the sight of this pure, unstrained smile that causes him to relax even a little, even though he has failed. He nods his understanding and conjures up their favorite scene in less than a heartbeat, knowing this will be the first 'normal' night they've spent together in a long time and not knowing, despite his powers, that it will be the last.