Author's Note-thank you all for the reviews. I wasn't sure how people
would respond to this story because it's a rather surreal tale, I'm glad
you find it interesting. Here is chapter two, please read and review.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------
Gordo turned back to face and peer down the street below. He could see the street lamps brightening up the dark, hard pavement with soft yellow light.
"Do it, Gordo," whispered a voice directly in front of him.
He raised his head to see Death, floating in mid-air, several feet away, looking straight in his eyes and desperately urging him to jump. Wasn't he just behind me? Wondered Gordo.
He then noticed something out of the corner of his right eye. He turned his head slightly to his right, and he saw the Angel gracefully moving about the clear midnight air. She looked at him with her beautiful purple- blue eyes, and when he made eye contact with her, she gave him an affectionate smile.
"Listen to your heart, Gordo," the Angel said softly.
"No, listen to your pain, and feel that dark, angry, bitter energy inside of you . . . do you want to live with that feeling for that rest of your life?" retorted Death. "Because it's always going to be there with you. It's never going to go away. And if you decide you want to continue to live in this hell, you will just suffer and torture yourself, and for what? For absolutely nothing."
Death's words pierced Gordo's soul like a hot knife through butter, triggering more tears. "You-you're right, my god, you know exactly how I'm feeling inside."
He closed his eyes, then began letting loose his rage. "I feel so awful, so goddamn awful, I hate my life, I hate my life so goddamn much!! Oh my god, everything feels so chaotic inside, I feel so much chaos sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode into a million pieces!"
"Yes, yes, yes," snarled Death.
"I just want to float away from it all, you know?" continued Gordo. "I just want to float away from my pain, from myself. I feel like the pain is never going to go away, it's never going to end, it's going to consume me, the loneliness is going to consume me, suffocate me, tear me into little pieces, oh god sometimes it feels like I can't breathe I can't breathe, and it feel like I'm suffocating, I'm suffocating in my sorrow, suffocating in my despair."
"Yes, yes!!" Death clapped her hands, as she took pleasure in hearing Gordo's pain.
"I'm dying, I'm dying, I feel like I'm dying inside every day of my life, I feel like I'm invisible, I'm dying I'm dying I can't live, I don't want to live anymore, I don't know who or what I am or what to do and this pain just feels like this insidious virus swirling around inside of me and making me feel filthy and dark and black inside. Oh God I want this pain to end, I just want this pain to end, I want my loneliness to end, I want it to just end, I just want it all to end, I just, I just . . . ."
"Want some joy and love in your life?" The Angel finished Gordo's sentence for him.
"Yes!!" and he began sobbing once again.
"But, you do have it, Gordo, you do have love and joy in your life. You just won't allow your self to feel it. Just open up your heart, my dear, wonderful David. Let love in and that loneliness you feel will disappear. Let Lizzie love you, Gordo, let her love you, let her into your heart," gently urged the Angel.
"Re-really?" A faint glimmer of hope quietly entered his heart.
"She's lying to you! Stop listening to her lies!! Lizzie doesn't love you! She'll never love someone like you! You know that! You know what you are, you know who you are deep down inside. And no one can ever love someone as worthless, useless, and irrelevant like yourself! You know that because you know that you are a . . . ."
"Freak, I'm a freak, I know it, you're right, I know it," replied Gordo in a beaten and weary voice.
"That's why you have no friends, Gordo! That's why as Lizzie is spending time with other boys you're home, alone, doing nothing, being nothing. She can never love someone like you. Nobody can."
Death's words felt like a sledgehammer to his soul, and Gordo began to swim once again in his lonely sorrow, feeling like nobody in the world could truly understand what he was feeling, feeling like nobody in the world truly cared about him or would miss him if he were to leave life and enter the realm of eternal nothingness.
He stared up at the stars, sleeping up above, shining little spots of sharp white light on a pitch-black canvas. He always loved gazing at the stars, wondering and imagining about what they were thinking as they watched intently on the busy activity going on underneath them, millions and millions of miles below.
I'll miss the stars when I'm gone . . . .
"Gordo, listen to me," said the Angel.
"Yes?"
"Just let Lizzie into your heart, don't be afraid of her. Trust in her, David, trust her. Have faith, have faith in life, have faith in Lizzie, have faith in hope, have faith in love, and most of all, dear David, have faith in yourself," whispered the Angel. She gave one last knowing smile, and then she was gone.
Gordo turned to his left to see Death disappearing back into the darkness.
He was now alone.
He wondered for a moment if he had been hallucinating, but he thought, it really didn't matter at this point. What the Angel said stirred something in his heart, but Gordo had already made up his mind. He wanted to join Death in her realm, he wanted to take on Death's embrace.
I think this is right, I think this is what I want to do. I mean, Death's right, she's gotta be right.
As he took a deep breath and began to prepare himself to leap off the edge of the roof, he suddenly heard a soft voice behind him.
"Go-Gordo? Is that you?"
It was a familiar voice, an angelic voice, a loving voice. It was the voice of his friend Lizzie McGuire.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------
Gordo turned back to face and peer down the street below. He could see the street lamps brightening up the dark, hard pavement with soft yellow light.
"Do it, Gordo," whispered a voice directly in front of him.
He raised his head to see Death, floating in mid-air, several feet away, looking straight in his eyes and desperately urging him to jump. Wasn't he just behind me? Wondered Gordo.
He then noticed something out of the corner of his right eye. He turned his head slightly to his right, and he saw the Angel gracefully moving about the clear midnight air. She looked at him with her beautiful purple- blue eyes, and when he made eye contact with her, she gave him an affectionate smile.
"Listen to your heart, Gordo," the Angel said softly.
"No, listen to your pain, and feel that dark, angry, bitter energy inside of you . . . do you want to live with that feeling for that rest of your life?" retorted Death. "Because it's always going to be there with you. It's never going to go away. And if you decide you want to continue to live in this hell, you will just suffer and torture yourself, and for what? For absolutely nothing."
Death's words pierced Gordo's soul like a hot knife through butter, triggering more tears. "You-you're right, my god, you know exactly how I'm feeling inside."
He closed his eyes, then began letting loose his rage. "I feel so awful, so goddamn awful, I hate my life, I hate my life so goddamn much!! Oh my god, everything feels so chaotic inside, I feel so much chaos sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode into a million pieces!"
"Yes, yes, yes," snarled Death.
"I just want to float away from it all, you know?" continued Gordo. "I just want to float away from my pain, from myself. I feel like the pain is never going to go away, it's never going to end, it's going to consume me, the loneliness is going to consume me, suffocate me, tear me into little pieces, oh god sometimes it feels like I can't breathe I can't breathe, and it feel like I'm suffocating, I'm suffocating in my sorrow, suffocating in my despair."
"Yes, yes!!" Death clapped her hands, as she took pleasure in hearing Gordo's pain.
"I'm dying, I'm dying, I feel like I'm dying inside every day of my life, I feel like I'm invisible, I'm dying I'm dying I can't live, I don't want to live anymore, I don't know who or what I am or what to do and this pain just feels like this insidious virus swirling around inside of me and making me feel filthy and dark and black inside. Oh God I want this pain to end, I just want this pain to end, I want my loneliness to end, I want it to just end, I just want it all to end, I just, I just . . . ."
"Want some joy and love in your life?" The Angel finished Gordo's sentence for him.
"Yes!!" and he began sobbing once again.
"But, you do have it, Gordo, you do have love and joy in your life. You just won't allow your self to feel it. Just open up your heart, my dear, wonderful David. Let love in and that loneliness you feel will disappear. Let Lizzie love you, Gordo, let her love you, let her into your heart," gently urged the Angel.
"Re-really?" A faint glimmer of hope quietly entered his heart.
"She's lying to you! Stop listening to her lies!! Lizzie doesn't love you! She'll never love someone like you! You know that! You know what you are, you know who you are deep down inside. And no one can ever love someone as worthless, useless, and irrelevant like yourself! You know that because you know that you are a . . . ."
"Freak, I'm a freak, I know it, you're right, I know it," replied Gordo in a beaten and weary voice.
"That's why you have no friends, Gordo! That's why as Lizzie is spending time with other boys you're home, alone, doing nothing, being nothing. She can never love someone like you. Nobody can."
Death's words felt like a sledgehammer to his soul, and Gordo began to swim once again in his lonely sorrow, feeling like nobody in the world could truly understand what he was feeling, feeling like nobody in the world truly cared about him or would miss him if he were to leave life and enter the realm of eternal nothingness.
He stared up at the stars, sleeping up above, shining little spots of sharp white light on a pitch-black canvas. He always loved gazing at the stars, wondering and imagining about what they were thinking as they watched intently on the busy activity going on underneath them, millions and millions of miles below.
I'll miss the stars when I'm gone . . . .
"Gordo, listen to me," said the Angel.
"Yes?"
"Just let Lizzie into your heart, don't be afraid of her. Trust in her, David, trust her. Have faith, have faith in life, have faith in Lizzie, have faith in hope, have faith in love, and most of all, dear David, have faith in yourself," whispered the Angel. She gave one last knowing smile, and then she was gone.
Gordo turned to his left to see Death disappearing back into the darkness.
He was now alone.
He wondered for a moment if he had been hallucinating, but he thought, it really didn't matter at this point. What the Angel said stirred something in his heart, but Gordo had already made up his mind. He wanted to join Death in her realm, he wanted to take on Death's embrace.
I think this is right, I think this is what I want to do. I mean, Death's right, she's gotta be right.
As he took a deep breath and began to prepare himself to leap off the edge of the roof, he suddenly heard a soft voice behind him.
"Go-Gordo? Is that you?"
It was a familiar voice, an angelic voice, a loving voice. It was the voice of his friend Lizzie McGuire.