As he took a deep breath and began to prepare himself to leap off the edge
of the roof, he suddenly heard a soft voice behind him.
"Go-Gordo? Is that you?"
It was a familiar voice, an angelic voice, a loving voice. It was the voice of his friend Lizzie McGuire.
Lizzie? Is that Lizzie? He turned around to see his best friend standing on the rooftop, about ten yards away from him. "Lizzie? What are you doing here?"
She took several steps towards him. "I- I, well, I had a dream, I -"
"Lizzie stop, don't come any closer to me, please!" pleaded Gordo. She was now only a few yards away from him, and he saw deep concern and fear etched on her face.
"Gordo, you're scaring me, please please come down off the ledge."
"Hey, um, look, I just need some time to myself, okay? You really should be at home, getting some sleep. I'll, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"
She frowned, then responded in a firm, clear voice, "No, Gordo, no, I'm not leaving until you get off of that ledge, do you hear me? Please, just get down from there before you fall!"
"Please Lizzie, I'll get down, I promise, but I just need to be alone right now, I'll call you tomorr-"
"No, Gordo, No!" she yelled, tension rising in her voice. "I am not leaving until you get down from there, okay?"
Okay, I'm definitely losing this battle. Just get down, talk to her for awhile, calm her down, get her out of here, and then do it. "Alright, alright, I'm coming down."
He turned his body fully around and cautiously leaped onto the rooftop floor. He looked at Lizzie then slumped down on the ground with his back supported by the rooftop wall.
She breathed a sigh of relief then gingerly walked over to Gordo and sat down next to him, her left shoulder brushing up against his right shoulder.
"See, I'm fine Lizzie, I'm fine, now. How did you know I was here, by the way?"
"Well, it's weird, but I had a dream and this woman, a beautiful woman, whispered in my ear to go to you and that I would know where to go. She was like an angel, and it all felt so real. When I woke up, I knew instantly you were here, and I had to come, I just had to."
She knew that Gordo loved the rooftop to his uncle's apartment and that he would often come here to gaze at the stars. They had often come together, it was one of their favorite spots in the city. It reminded both of them of the rooftop they enjoyed while in Rome.
"Well, I'm here. But, listen, thanks for coming and all, but really, I am absolutely fine, I just need some time to myself, you know? Just some good ol' downtime to hang out with myself and my thoughts. You, on the other hand, Lizzie McGuire, ought to be at home and sound asleep."
She peered into his eyes and said, "I don't believe you. I really don't. Something's the matter with you, I know it."
Gordo shut his eyes and turned the other way.
She gently touched his hands and whispered, "I'm here for you, Gordo, I'm here for you. Tell me what's the matter, tell me what's going on inside of you."
The soft, quiet, loving touch of her hand on his sent warm shivers up his spine. His heart began to open up, slightly.
"I-I-I just feel awful, Lizzie, oh my god, I feel so awful!" He buried his head in his knees and sobbed.
"Oh, Gordo," whispered Lizzie.
"My life, it's just spinning out of control, I can't take it anymore, Lizzie, I just can't. Ohmigod I wake up every morning wondering what's the point, what's the point of going on? I feel so lonely, I feel so damn lonely, oh my god, I feel so lonely . . . "
"Ohmigosh Gordo, I didn't know you felt this way, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she said as she put her arms around his shoulders and began to gently stroke his back. "You know I'm always here for you."
"No, No, Lizzie, that's it, that's the problem, you just don't get it, sometimes I feel the loneliest when I'm with you!" he cried.
"Wha-what do you mean?"
"You don't understand, I try to be so perfect for you, you know? I try so hard not to show you my mistakes, my problems, my flaws, because I want, I want . . . ."
"I - I don't understand, you want . . .?" she asked, deeply puzzled by his remarks.
"I-I want you to, to . . . ." he choked on his words. He couldn't bring himself to say them, to say those words he had been longing to say for as long as he could remember.
She looked at him with warm attention, smiled, cupped his cheeks with her right palm, and said, "It's okay, Gordo, it's okay, you're with me now, it's all okay," and kissed him on the cheeks.
With the kiss, he lost all controls over his emotions and inhibitions. He felt so much love in her voice, in her words, in her eyes, in her touch, he was beginning to feel seen, to feel real . . . . and it was such a strange, unusual feeling . . . .
"I love you Lizzie, I love you so much," he whispered into her ears.
"I-I love you too, Gordo, you know that."
"No, no, I'm in love with you, Lizzie, I'm in love with you, I've been wanting to tell you that since as long as I can remember and that's why I've felt so lonely with you because I could never tell you how I really felt, I couldn't because I know someone as so beautiful and so wonderful as you could ever love a freak, a complete freak like me!" With that last sentence, he broke down once again.
She held on even more tightly to her friend, placing her head next to his and cradling him as he let loose a torrent of pent up emotions.
"You're not a freak, Gordo," she cooed, "you're not. You are an amazing, smart, wonderful, caring, beautiful person, you are my best friend, you are so dear to me, and I love you so very much and I wouldn't know what I'd do if you ever would be gone from my life."
Tears streamed down Lizzie's cheeks and intermingled with Gordo's.
"Oh Lizzie, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so weak, I'm so weak, I know I'm not good enough for you or for anyone else and my life makes no sense and I can't go on like this, I just can't. Nobody understands me, nobody. I know you like me like a brother, Lizzie, but I also know that you can't see me as anything more than that. No one can, and it's not just about girls, I just feel like such a misfit, I just feel so out of place, I feel like I don't belong at all, with anyone, I'm such a freak, I'm such a freak, oh my god I feel like such a freak!!!"
"Oh Gordo, Oh Gordo . . . ." she held to him as his life depended on it.
'I, I, just want this awful pain to go away, Lizzie, I don't want to suffer so much anymore. Oh my god, there's just this big black hole eating away inside of me, and it hurts so much, it hurts so much, oh my god, why won't the pain go away, why won't it go away? Please, please, go away, I just want the pain to away, please . . . ."
"I know, Gordo, I know, it'll be alright, though, everything will be okay, everything will be okay, you're with me, I'm with you, I'm always with you, I'll always be there for you, I love you, Gordo, I'm here for you," she said in a gentle, sing-song voice. "Hey, look at me."
He wiped away his tears and turned to face Lizzie. "Oh my god, Lizzie, you're so beautiful, you're so beautiful, I don't deserve a friend like you, I don't, I'm just a burden a mess you don't need me complicating your life."
She responded by kissing him on the lips. "Hey, shut up, okay? Don't talk nonsense." She kissed him again.
He felt her soft lips on his and he felt a wave of love and caring flow and course throughout his entire body.
"Always know this Gordo, you are not alone, ever. Okay? I love you, you are the most amazing person I know, you never have to worry about being perfect with me because I love you for who you are, you're Gordo! And I'm sorry that sometimes I take you for granted because you are such an important part of my life, a part of me, I really honestly would feel so lost and alone if you were gone from my life. So, don't leave!" She squeezed his shoulders harder and gave him a big, warm, grin.
She continued. "we'll get through life together, okay?"
His head was spinning. He heard her words, but he had a hard time fully believing in them, they felt so foreign to him. She loves me? She cares for me? "You really love me? Even though I'm a complete mess?"
"Yes, yes, yes, Gordo, I love you for who you are, and nothing can change that, even if you think you're a mess, even though you really aren't!"
"But, but, you love me just as a friend, right, you're not in love with me?" He asked warily.
"I'll be honest, Gordo, I'm not sure, I never thought of you that way before, really, but, that doesn't mean we can't see and find out, right?" She gave him another kiss. "Right? We've got plenty of time, don't we?"
"Lizzie," said Gordo, as he put his forehead on hers. He whispered, "I love you, Lizzie McGuire. Thanks. Thanks for saving my soul," and he returned her kiss by gently stroking her hair and then by softly kissing her on the lips.
And the pair sat there, arms around each other, on the rooftop, gazing at the stars high above, taking in the pure joy of just being, together.
The end.
"
"Go-Gordo? Is that you?"
It was a familiar voice, an angelic voice, a loving voice. It was the voice of his friend Lizzie McGuire.
Lizzie? Is that Lizzie? He turned around to see his best friend standing on the rooftop, about ten yards away from him. "Lizzie? What are you doing here?"
She took several steps towards him. "I- I, well, I had a dream, I -"
"Lizzie stop, don't come any closer to me, please!" pleaded Gordo. She was now only a few yards away from him, and he saw deep concern and fear etched on her face.
"Gordo, you're scaring me, please please come down off the ledge."
"Hey, um, look, I just need some time to myself, okay? You really should be at home, getting some sleep. I'll, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"
She frowned, then responded in a firm, clear voice, "No, Gordo, no, I'm not leaving until you get off of that ledge, do you hear me? Please, just get down from there before you fall!"
"Please Lizzie, I'll get down, I promise, but I just need to be alone right now, I'll call you tomorr-"
"No, Gordo, No!" she yelled, tension rising in her voice. "I am not leaving until you get down from there, okay?"
Okay, I'm definitely losing this battle. Just get down, talk to her for awhile, calm her down, get her out of here, and then do it. "Alright, alright, I'm coming down."
He turned his body fully around and cautiously leaped onto the rooftop floor. He looked at Lizzie then slumped down on the ground with his back supported by the rooftop wall.
She breathed a sigh of relief then gingerly walked over to Gordo and sat down next to him, her left shoulder brushing up against his right shoulder.
"See, I'm fine Lizzie, I'm fine, now. How did you know I was here, by the way?"
"Well, it's weird, but I had a dream and this woman, a beautiful woman, whispered in my ear to go to you and that I would know where to go. She was like an angel, and it all felt so real. When I woke up, I knew instantly you were here, and I had to come, I just had to."
She knew that Gordo loved the rooftop to his uncle's apartment and that he would often come here to gaze at the stars. They had often come together, it was one of their favorite spots in the city. It reminded both of them of the rooftop they enjoyed while in Rome.
"Well, I'm here. But, listen, thanks for coming and all, but really, I am absolutely fine, I just need some time to myself, you know? Just some good ol' downtime to hang out with myself and my thoughts. You, on the other hand, Lizzie McGuire, ought to be at home and sound asleep."
She peered into his eyes and said, "I don't believe you. I really don't. Something's the matter with you, I know it."
Gordo shut his eyes and turned the other way.
She gently touched his hands and whispered, "I'm here for you, Gordo, I'm here for you. Tell me what's the matter, tell me what's going on inside of you."
The soft, quiet, loving touch of her hand on his sent warm shivers up his spine. His heart began to open up, slightly.
"I-I-I just feel awful, Lizzie, oh my god, I feel so awful!" He buried his head in his knees and sobbed.
"Oh, Gordo," whispered Lizzie.
"My life, it's just spinning out of control, I can't take it anymore, Lizzie, I just can't. Ohmigod I wake up every morning wondering what's the point, what's the point of going on? I feel so lonely, I feel so damn lonely, oh my god, I feel so lonely . . . "
"Ohmigosh Gordo, I didn't know you felt this way, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she said as she put her arms around his shoulders and began to gently stroke his back. "You know I'm always here for you."
"No, No, Lizzie, that's it, that's the problem, you just don't get it, sometimes I feel the loneliest when I'm with you!" he cried.
"Wha-what do you mean?"
"You don't understand, I try to be so perfect for you, you know? I try so hard not to show you my mistakes, my problems, my flaws, because I want, I want . . . ."
"I - I don't understand, you want . . .?" she asked, deeply puzzled by his remarks.
"I-I want you to, to . . . ." he choked on his words. He couldn't bring himself to say them, to say those words he had been longing to say for as long as he could remember.
She looked at him with warm attention, smiled, cupped his cheeks with her right palm, and said, "It's okay, Gordo, it's okay, you're with me now, it's all okay," and kissed him on the cheeks.
With the kiss, he lost all controls over his emotions and inhibitions. He felt so much love in her voice, in her words, in her eyes, in her touch, he was beginning to feel seen, to feel real . . . . and it was such a strange, unusual feeling . . . .
"I love you Lizzie, I love you so much," he whispered into her ears.
"I-I love you too, Gordo, you know that."
"No, no, I'm in love with you, Lizzie, I'm in love with you, I've been wanting to tell you that since as long as I can remember and that's why I've felt so lonely with you because I could never tell you how I really felt, I couldn't because I know someone as so beautiful and so wonderful as you could ever love a freak, a complete freak like me!" With that last sentence, he broke down once again.
She held on even more tightly to her friend, placing her head next to his and cradling him as he let loose a torrent of pent up emotions.
"You're not a freak, Gordo," she cooed, "you're not. You are an amazing, smart, wonderful, caring, beautiful person, you are my best friend, you are so dear to me, and I love you so very much and I wouldn't know what I'd do if you ever would be gone from my life."
Tears streamed down Lizzie's cheeks and intermingled with Gordo's.
"Oh Lizzie, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so weak, I'm so weak, I know I'm not good enough for you or for anyone else and my life makes no sense and I can't go on like this, I just can't. Nobody understands me, nobody. I know you like me like a brother, Lizzie, but I also know that you can't see me as anything more than that. No one can, and it's not just about girls, I just feel like such a misfit, I just feel so out of place, I feel like I don't belong at all, with anyone, I'm such a freak, I'm such a freak, oh my god I feel like such a freak!!!"
"Oh Gordo, Oh Gordo . . . ." she held to him as his life depended on it.
'I, I, just want this awful pain to go away, Lizzie, I don't want to suffer so much anymore. Oh my god, there's just this big black hole eating away inside of me, and it hurts so much, it hurts so much, oh my god, why won't the pain go away, why won't it go away? Please, please, go away, I just want the pain to away, please . . . ."
"I know, Gordo, I know, it'll be alright, though, everything will be okay, everything will be okay, you're with me, I'm with you, I'm always with you, I'll always be there for you, I love you, Gordo, I'm here for you," she said in a gentle, sing-song voice. "Hey, look at me."
He wiped away his tears and turned to face Lizzie. "Oh my god, Lizzie, you're so beautiful, you're so beautiful, I don't deserve a friend like you, I don't, I'm just a burden a mess you don't need me complicating your life."
She responded by kissing him on the lips. "Hey, shut up, okay? Don't talk nonsense." She kissed him again.
He felt her soft lips on his and he felt a wave of love and caring flow and course throughout his entire body.
"Always know this Gordo, you are not alone, ever. Okay? I love you, you are the most amazing person I know, you never have to worry about being perfect with me because I love you for who you are, you're Gordo! And I'm sorry that sometimes I take you for granted because you are such an important part of my life, a part of me, I really honestly would feel so lost and alone if you were gone from my life. So, don't leave!" She squeezed his shoulders harder and gave him a big, warm, grin.
She continued. "we'll get through life together, okay?"
His head was spinning. He heard her words, but he had a hard time fully believing in them, they felt so foreign to him. She loves me? She cares for me? "You really love me? Even though I'm a complete mess?"
"Yes, yes, yes, Gordo, I love you for who you are, and nothing can change that, even if you think you're a mess, even though you really aren't!"
"But, but, you love me just as a friend, right, you're not in love with me?" He asked warily.
"I'll be honest, Gordo, I'm not sure, I never thought of you that way before, really, but, that doesn't mean we can't see and find out, right?" She gave him another kiss. "Right? We've got plenty of time, don't we?"
"Lizzie," said Gordo, as he put his forehead on hers. He whispered, "I love you, Lizzie McGuire. Thanks. Thanks for saving my soul," and he returned her kiss by gently stroking her hair and then by softly kissing her on the lips.
And the pair sat there, arms around each other, on the rooftop, gazing at the stars high above, taking in the pure joy of just being, together.
The end.
"