AN: Hey guys this is my first fic of this fandom so please be nice and it's part of a promp from Tmblr. So if u saw it there under crazysleepydreams it's mine I shall also upload it on AO3. So no beta and inglish isnt my first lenguage. Enjoy!

Sansa felt lost many times in her short life.

The first time was obviously when her then fiance ordered her father's death and all that came after it, but she realized during her time at the Eyre that in Kings Landing she had been far from lost because even if she hadn't realized it back then, she had a protector. And not any protector: she had the bravest, gentlest and most handsome man as her protector and husband. Even if she had been a stupid little girl, who could never look past his height and what society deemed beautiful, back then she shunned him and he was patient and gentle with her in turn.

Then came her time in the Eyre; it wasn't the best time of her life nor was it the worst: for the biggest part it simply was. It was the place where she realized how ugly the world was, how she couldn't trust people even if they carried the same blood as her, it was the also the place were she learned the most about the game… not that she had realized it as she was still a foolish stupid girl clinging to the last hopes about life beeing a song. It was also the place where she remained sane mostly thanks to the ghostly memories of her husband's kindness and smiles avoiding her from getting lost.

Later came her time with Ramsey: she had hoped for a husband as kind as her first, she would later realize that she would have been content with a tenth of that kindness, even if he only wanted her to secure the North (wasn't that the reason she had been married off to Tyrion in the first place?). That time was the one where she was the closest to losing herself even with the ghostly memories of both her father and her true husband doing their best to help her: they didn't, they made everything worse somehow no matter how kind they were, she had been a fool and failed them both and they were probably both dead by then. But before she could resign herself to her life two things happened: Theon and she remembered Tyrion's words about how her mother would have wanted her to live...so she did, she took her destiny in her own hands and killed her husband (a fake, a fake nothing, no one, not even the gods could make her accept him as such).

With the help of Jon they got Winterfell back, but it felt cold for the first time. Then the long night came and with it the Dragon Queen and her husband, during the preparations she felt so lost as she saw her husband with his queen or simply with others: he was so close yet so far away. He wasn't the man she had married so many years back - he was bitter, he was insecure, he was scared and none seemed to notice. Why didn't they realize there was something wrong with him? Was it finally lost? Had the world finally succeeded in killing that beautiful man she once married and like the rest couldn't appreciate? She couldn't stand to be in the same room as that pretender: so she did everything she could to avoid him, she was even hurtful and petty towards him, but as always that didn't matter, he was kind and gentle to her..

At one moment in the crypts she almost agreed with him, almost asked him the unthinkable, but she couldn't, instead she reminded him that with his divided loyalties they could never work. Even if she didn't want to, it seemed for a moment that her words killed whatever was left of the man he had once been and then they fought the undead. She couldn't tell him how sorry she was and how she wanted to ask for his forgiveness, but she let him go with his queen without telling him anything: feeling lost once more.

The massacre that was the battle of the Kings Landing happened and she wasn't there for anything except for when Tyrion abdicated his rights to the crown in favor of her little brother Bran. She didn't stick around long after Bran's coronation due to her own, but because of ravens she learned of Tyrion's appointment as Hand of the King: he seemed to be born to be a Hand. Tyrion and Bran wrote to her regularly: Tyrion about the any matters that might concern her regarding the North and some small advice and he spoke some about his health when she inquired, and Bran seemed to give endless reports about Lord Lannister's health current pastimes and anything she might have wanted to know about her once husband. When Tyrion came North for the first time for some political-diplomatic things that concerned both realms they represented, Sansa felt hopeful: not all was lost. Tyrion seemed healthier, happier and more like himself during his stay. They spoke for hours on end about anything and everything: clever japes thrown at each other in a battle of wits, he spoke about Joy's legitimization, her marriage to Pod and how they were expecting their first child and said child being his heir: a last favor to his father, the child of a legitimized bastard and not an important noble would carry on the Lannister legacy. Tyrion drank, even if it was a small fraction of what he once drank, and he had learned how to wield a sword at some time, much to her confusion and often had friendly spars with her guards and his. Before he left the North it seemed that everything would be alright. Tyrion was finding his way back to her and more importantly he was finding and rediscovering himself: all was far from lost. Maybe, just maybe, she could try to court him slowly and from afar until his next visit: her council approved of the match.

But, alas, it was not meant to be - a fortnight after Tyrion had left the North she received a raven from her younger brother; in truth she received two: one that informed the Northern Kingdom of the passing of Lord Tyrion Lannister, first of his name, Lord Hand, Lord of Casterly Rock, Shield of Lannisport and Warden of the West, during a pirate attack on a village. His group was passing through and he died valiantly protecting the villagers along with his men against the savages; it also informed how after the appropriate mourning period Joy and Poddrick Lannister shall become the new Wardennes and Warden until their child was of age. The second letter was much less regal and more personal, it was also shorter:

I'm sorry, I should have seen it and warned you or him … I was far too lost in the future your decision had created: it was beautiful. He loved you until his last breath: I can only hope you can find it in yourself to ever forgive me. He has always been a good good-brother.

Bran

In the end all had been lost… if she had only kissed him or told him she loved him.

AN: Please don't kill me I don't know why it turned dark... it just did, please leave a review! My wonderfull beta elliecat78 did edit some parts of this one shot so I decided to reload it so to say.