Boston, August 13, 1915.
The young girl was walking the grounds alone, her head bowed and her hair blowing about her face. The headmistress pursed her lips with distaste, as she watched out the window of her study. Did he really think his money could buy her acceptance? Oh some of the girls spoke to her, but they knew instinctively that she was not one of them! As a result her acquaintances were casual at best; there was no "best friend" to spend time giggling and playing with. And, the headmistress knew that it could get worse as she got older. With a sigh she turned her back on the lonely young girl and started to reply to a letter from a school patron in New York.
For her part Eliza wasn't so pessimistic as the headmistress. She knew that the girls liked her, but they also knew that she was "different." The way she spoke with an accent, the way she acted. Even though she was only nine Eliza knew all this. But she wasn't about to let this stop her from trying to make friends; not someone as stubborn as her!
*****
That night as they were eating their tea the topic got onto parents.
"My father is a very famous lawyer!" Said Katy Williams. "He puts bad people in jail!"
"My father is a senator in Washington-he works for the government." Another girl, Jennifer Smith, said. Then she turned to Eliza, "What about you? What does your father do?"
Eliza hesitated. How could she tell them what her real father did? So she decided to tell them about Cal. A few minutes later they were hanging on to her every word.
"You know, I think my parents know yours!" Katy said. "They went to your Father's wedding-they said it was one of the biggest, grandest weddings they'd ever been to. Mother was very impressed!"
"It was big!" Eliza agreed, but she didn't tell them that she had only watched it from her bedroom window! Amanda had put her foot down at Cal's "charge" as she insisted on calling her attending! "Really Cal, it's great what you're doing for her, but she'd be out of place at a society wedding." Cal had agreed with her, he always seemed to agree to avoid conflict! And so Eliza had watched from the window. Before the ceremony, when he was dressed and ready, Cal had gone to her room and told her again that he was sorry she couldn't be out there. "It's just..well you'll find out one day for yourself what women are like about their weddings...they only want who they want there. In all honesty us men are lucky to be invited!"
"Wow..so you're richer than us!" Jenny said. "I guess you've been to Europe- maybe that's why you speak so funny?"
Eliza smiled. "Yes, I spent a few years there! Then we came back here on the tit-on a huge luxury liner.."
"We went on a ship to England. Mother spent the whole time being scared we were going to sink! It was just after that Titanic thing you see!" another girl said.
"If it did sink it would only be because of you on it!" Katy said cruelly. "Honestly Annabelle, could you possibly stuff yourself anymore? Mother told me that a real lady doesn't have an appetite!"
Eliza saw the tears in the corner of Annabelle's eyes, and glared at Katy. "I think Annabelle is fine the way she is. If she's happy we should be happy for her!"
Katy looked at her thoughtfully, but didn't say anything else.
As they were leaving the dining room Annabelle whispered to Eliza "Thanks for sticking up for me. Katy is right though- I am a pig!"
"Well the food is so nice here you can't help but be a pig. Even I eat more than I usually do!" Eliza replied loyally. Something about the other girl made her feel protective! "And it's certainly better than the food in Sweden!"
"Do they eat weird foods there?" Annabelle asked, interested.
Eliza shook her head. "Not really.." She didn't elaborate, or else she might have told Annabelle that it was not that the food was not nice, it was that there was none of it. Only recently had memories begun to come back to her in bits, like a flood, and when they came they hit her so suddenly! Other than what she remembered her previous life was like a blank canvas. (What she didn't know was that this was normal; people who have experienced a trauma like she had often block it out as a coping mechanism, until they are able to deal with it!) She remembered Cal picking her up and putting her in the boat, but she didn't know why, and she didn't know where her parents had gone. She assumed that they had told him to put her in the boat and they'd planned to catch the next one, but something had prevented this? And as she stood there with Annabelle she also remembered getting on the Titanic, and being inspected by health officials, and her father grumbling that they were rough, and treating them like dogs. And her mother, always calm, saying to be patient, it was a small price to pay for a new life.
"Are you alright? You look kind of pale!" Annabelle asked, a little concerned.
Eliza forced a smile. "I'm fine." She managed, and then she left the room to go back to her room.
On her bed she thought about the image of her father in her mind. Was that what he looked like? Was it so terrible that she couldn't remember it all? Would she ever know what had happened on that night? And her mother; that woman in the memory had been her mother! "Mummy!" She whispered to herself. "Mummy."
*****
Over the next few days Eliza became part of the group. Her story about Cal had made her part of them. Annabelle, of them all, was probably her best friend. Since she had stuck up for her at dinner the other girl stuck as close to Eliza's side as possible. The headmistress, observing this, remarked to another teacher that maybe she had been wrong after all. "It'd be nice to think that girls of their age don't think of people in terms of class..that they can all play together nicely!" The teacher, only a young fool of a woman in the headmistress's opinion, replied. "It would be nice; but I fear that if they find out they could be very cruel!"
*****
Eliza was quietly reading a book when in the sun, when all of a sudden the sun was blocked out. She looked up startled. Katy stood there, a triumphant look on her face, surrounded by the other girls, even Annabelle who stood well back, with an unhappy look on her face. Some of the girls looked knowing, others simply looked curious.
"I knew it you know..I knew there was something strange about you!" Katy said, waving a piece of paper in front of Eliza's face.
"And not just the funny accent!" Jennifer chimed in.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Eliza insisted.
"Your father is Caledon Hockley you claim!" Katy said.
Eliza swallowed hard.
"According to Mother Caledon Hockley doesn't have any children. He does, however, have a ward that he took in after the Titanic disaster. A steerage passenger whose parents died on the ship and who was left alone. Mother says you're only a charity act!" Katy said.
Eliza couldn't speak, tears were welling up in her eyes, and she felt like there was a huge lump in her throat.
"You're a liar." Katy declared. The girls were all silent now; calling someone a liar was a big thing.
"I'm not.he is like my father now!" Eliza insisted.
"A charity act." Katy spat again, her eyes cold. "A charity act liar! We're not speaking to you now...come on girls, lets leave the liar alone!"
Most of them followed her, although Annabelle and another girl hung back.
"Were you really on the Titanic?" Margaret asked.
"Yes." Eliza replied.
"Wow, what was it like? I've seen photos of it; it was huge wasn't it? And very luxurious."
"I don't really remember it much." Eliza said. Seeing the look of disbelief on the other girls face she assured her that she really didn't remember much. "I get bits of memories coming back all the time lately though..the other day I remembered health inspection!"
"Health inspection?" Margaret repeated, a funny look on her face. "Isn't that like for third class passengers only?"
Eliza hesitated, and then decided that if people wanted to know the truth they would get the truth. She was no liar!
"Yes it is...and it was horrible. We had our hair checked for lice and we had-"
"I better hurry up or they'll be wondering where I am." Margaret cut her off, and she hurried after Katy and the girls.
Eliza watched her go, and then turned to Annabelle. "Well? Are you going to leave too?" She asked her harshly.
Annabelle shook her head earnestly. "No! You're the only one here who's really nice to me..you're my friend!"
Eliza smiled, and Annabelle smiled too. As long as she had someone maybe she'd be able to survive this school thing!
The young girl was walking the grounds alone, her head bowed and her hair blowing about her face. The headmistress pursed her lips with distaste, as she watched out the window of her study. Did he really think his money could buy her acceptance? Oh some of the girls spoke to her, but they knew instinctively that she was not one of them! As a result her acquaintances were casual at best; there was no "best friend" to spend time giggling and playing with. And, the headmistress knew that it could get worse as she got older. With a sigh she turned her back on the lonely young girl and started to reply to a letter from a school patron in New York.
For her part Eliza wasn't so pessimistic as the headmistress. She knew that the girls liked her, but they also knew that she was "different." The way she spoke with an accent, the way she acted. Even though she was only nine Eliza knew all this. But she wasn't about to let this stop her from trying to make friends; not someone as stubborn as her!
*****
That night as they were eating their tea the topic got onto parents.
"My father is a very famous lawyer!" Said Katy Williams. "He puts bad people in jail!"
"My father is a senator in Washington-he works for the government." Another girl, Jennifer Smith, said. Then she turned to Eliza, "What about you? What does your father do?"
Eliza hesitated. How could she tell them what her real father did? So she decided to tell them about Cal. A few minutes later they were hanging on to her every word.
"You know, I think my parents know yours!" Katy said. "They went to your Father's wedding-they said it was one of the biggest, grandest weddings they'd ever been to. Mother was very impressed!"
"It was big!" Eliza agreed, but she didn't tell them that she had only watched it from her bedroom window! Amanda had put her foot down at Cal's "charge" as she insisted on calling her attending! "Really Cal, it's great what you're doing for her, but she'd be out of place at a society wedding." Cal had agreed with her, he always seemed to agree to avoid conflict! And so Eliza had watched from the window. Before the ceremony, when he was dressed and ready, Cal had gone to her room and told her again that he was sorry she couldn't be out there. "It's just..well you'll find out one day for yourself what women are like about their weddings...they only want who they want there. In all honesty us men are lucky to be invited!"
"Wow..so you're richer than us!" Jenny said. "I guess you've been to Europe- maybe that's why you speak so funny?"
Eliza smiled. "Yes, I spent a few years there! Then we came back here on the tit-on a huge luxury liner.."
"We went on a ship to England. Mother spent the whole time being scared we were going to sink! It was just after that Titanic thing you see!" another girl said.
"If it did sink it would only be because of you on it!" Katy said cruelly. "Honestly Annabelle, could you possibly stuff yourself anymore? Mother told me that a real lady doesn't have an appetite!"
Eliza saw the tears in the corner of Annabelle's eyes, and glared at Katy. "I think Annabelle is fine the way she is. If she's happy we should be happy for her!"
Katy looked at her thoughtfully, but didn't say anything else.
As they were leaving the dining room Annabelle whispered to Eliza "Thanks for sticking up for me. Katy is right though- I am a pig!"
"Well the food is so nice here you can't help but be a pig. Even I eat more than I usually do!" Eliza replied loyally. Something about the other girl made her feel protective! "And it's certainly better than the food in Sweden!"
"Do they eat weird foods there?" Annabelle asked, interested.
Eliza shook her head. "Not really.." She didn't elaborate, or else she might have told Annabelle that it was not that the food was not nice, it was that there was none of it. Only recently had memories begun to come back to her in bits, like a flood, and when they came they hit her so suddenly! Other than what she remembered her previous life was like a blank canvas. (What she didn't know was that this was normal; people who have experienced a trauma like she had often block it out as a coping mechanism, until they are able to deal with it!) She remembered Cal picking her up and putting her in the boat, but she didn't know why, and she didn't know where her parents had gone. She assumed that they had told him to put her in the boat and they'd planned to catch the next one, but something had prevented this? And as she stood there with Annabelle she also remembered getting on the Titanic, and being inspected by health officials, and her father grumbling that they were rough, and treating them like dogs. And her mother, always calm, saying to be patient, it was a small price to pay for a new life.
"Are you alright? You look kind of pale!" Annabelle asked, a little concerned.
Eliza forced a smile. "I'm fine." She managed, and then she left the room to go back to her room.
On her bed she thought about the image of her father in her mind. Was that what he looked like? Was it so terrible that she couldn't remember it all? Would she ever know what had happened on that night? And her mother; that woman in the memory had been her mother! "Mummy!" She whispered to herself. "Mummy."
*****
Over the next few days Eliza became part of the group. Her story about Cal had made her part of them. Annabelle, of them all, was probably her best friend. Since she had stuck up for her at dinner the other girl stuck as close to Eliza's side as possible. The headmistress, observing this, remarked to another teacher that maybe she had been wrong after all. "It'd be nice to think that girls of their age don't think of people in terms of class..that they can all play together nicely!" The teacher, only a young fool of a woman in the headmistress's opinion, replied. "It would be nice; but I fear that if they find out they could be very cruel!"
*****
Eliza was quietly reading a book when in the sun, when all of a sudden the sun was blocked out. She looked up startled. Katy stood there, a triumphant look on her face, surrounded by the other girls, even Annabelle who stood well back, with an unhappy look on her face. Some of the girls looked knowing, others simply looked curious.
"I knew it you know..I knew there was something strange about you!" Katy said, waving a piece of paper in front of Eliza's face.
"And not just the funny accent!" Jennifer chimed in.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Eliza insisted.
"Your father is Caledon Hockley you claim!" Katy said.
Eliza swallowed hard.
"According to Mother Caledon Hockley doesn't have any children. He does, however, have a ward that he took in after the Titanic disaster. A steerage passenger whose parents died on the ship and who was left alone. Mother says you're only a charity act!" Katy said.
Eliza couldn't speak, tears were welling up in her eyes, and she felt like there was a huge lump in her throat.
"You're a liar." Katy declared. The girls were all silent now; calling someone a liar was a big thing.
"I'm not.he is like my father now!" Eliza insisted.
"A charity act." Katy spat again, her eyes cold. "A charity act liar! We're not speaking to you now...come on girls, lets leave the liar alone!"
Most of them followed her, although Annabelle and another girl hung back.
"Were you really on the Titanic?" Margaret asked.
"Yes." Eliza replied.
"Wow, what was it like? I've seen photos of it; it was huge wasn't it? And very luxurious."
"I don't really remember it much." Eliza said. Seeing the look of disbelief on the other girls face she assured her that she really didn't remember much. "I get bits of memories coming back all the time lately though..the other day I remembered health inspection!"
"Health inspection?" Margaret repeated, a funny look on her face. "Isn't that like for third class passengers only?"
Eliza hesitated, and then decided that if people wanted to know the truth they would get the truth. She was no liar!
"Yes it is...and it was horrible. We had our hair checked for lice and we had-"
"I better hurry up or they'll be wondering where I am." Margaret cut her off, and she hurried after Katy and the girls.
Eliza watched her go, and then turned to Annabelle. "Well? Are you going to leave too?" She asked her harshly.
Annabelle shook her head earnestly. "No! You're the only one here who's really nice to me..you're my friend!"
Eliza smiled, and Annabelle smiled too. As long as she had someone maybe she'd be able to survive this school thing!