Disclaimer: In no way am I affiliated with Dawson's Creek. This story is for entertainment purposes only. No profit will be made. (Maybe I should find a more profitable hobby).

Notes: This is a series of entries in Amy's diary. She is fifteen and everyone else is about forty. The main basis of the story is how Amy will deal with all the angst that comes with being fifteen along with issues about having an unconventional family, dealing with issues about her real father, and trying to cope with the absence of her mother. The first chapter is an introductory chapter. The title Amy Explains It All pretty much says everything. Each following chapter will center around one person: Pacey, Doug, Grams, Joey, Andie, Audrey, Dawson, and Jack.

Rating: PG-13

The Diary Of Amy Lindley

Pacey-Amy Date Night

Is it wrong to have a crush on your uncle? Well, Pacey's not really my Uncle. He's an Uncle in the sense that he's a close family friend. But then again he's Dougie's brother. So in an odd, slightly dysfunctional way Pacey is my uncle in the same way that Jack's sister, Andie, is my aunt. Anyway, the important thing is that I think and refer to him as him Uncle Pacey. Of course now that I'm getting a little older I keep calling him by just his first name more and more often. Maybe it's because I feel foolish calling someone that I've had graphic dreams about, Uncle'.

When I was a little girl I thought of Pacey as a swashbuckler. With his messy hair, neatly trimmed goatee and flashy white smile he reminded me of the drawings of pirates in my storybooks. He looked the perfect vision of a romantic hero, rescuing his damsel in distress and sailing away with her.

It was easy for me to picture myself as a precocious pirate princess when he would take me sailing. He says it's a good thing to keep your sea legs. And he's right. There is a certain freedom in sailing that can't quite be captured anywhere else. Sometimes it feels as though you are one with the ocean, like you are a part of that swirling grey-blue abyss as it ebbs and encroaches, sloshes and recedes. But then the sea changes and you realize that you are two separate beings, that you are a mere mortal soul that could be swallowed up, annihilated. But those times of synergy, that's what I live for.

"What are you thinking?" Pacey's words brought me out of my thoughts.

"Just that we should go sailing again soon, you know before the weather turns to crap and we can't go anymore."

He flashed that smile. God, I love that smile. "One of these days after school you and I will hit the open seas. And here I thought you were checking the time, too cool to spend a Saturday night with Uncle Pace."

That brought about a touchy subject. It's not that Im too cool to spend time with him, it's just that it was Saturday night and there was sort of this party that C. J. invited me to, part of his let's be friends' initiative.

Pacey could tell by the guilty look on my face that I made other plans. "Let me guess what could be more important than spending an entire Saturday night with good ol' Uncle Pacey?" He was joking, I could tell. "An all night study session at the library? A prayer group meeting? No, wait, C. J. Elliot's parents are in Saint Martin and he's having a kegger."

Busted. "How did you know?"

"My role as owner-operator of the Ice House makes me privy to all sorts of teenage gossip. Like did you know that Mary Bodine just broke up with Marcus Malloy?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "No, actually I didn't know."

"Hot off the press, Flounder." Flounder, that's his special nickname for me. It's from The Little Mermaid, the cartoon, not the book.

"You're not gonna tell JaJa, are you?" JaJa's party rules are parents present, alcohol and drugs absent'. He actually yells that to me when I leave with my friends.

"Nah," he shook his head. "Just promise me you'll use your head and your secret is safe with me."

Pacey can be cool like that; maybe it's because he spends so much time at the Ice House with teenagers. But I know that he would never let his daughter, Astrid, go to a keg party. But believe me, she will. When it comes to his daughter Pacey has a protective streak a mile long. Astrid is brash and loud and a little rude yet completely endearing at the same time. Pacey will just laugh at her antics and say she's a little pistol, like her mother.

I guess that's true. Audrey is kind of like a bomb. She bursts in when no one is expecting her and shakes things up. Then, just as suddenly, she is gone leaving all of us to only shake our head in sheer amazement and wonder if we imagined the whole experience. Audrey is almost like a mythical figure to me. She's exceedingly glamorous. As a backup singer she travels all over the world. Once in a while she'll drop us all a postcard with an amusing anecdote scribbled hastily across it. Once we got one that simply read I met Mick Jagger!'. She's a trip but I love hanging out when it's just me and her. I feel like I have this rock star cool vibe going on. When she drives me around town in her Porsche and I see everyone that I go to school with crane their heads to get a better look at the hot blond that I'm with I can't help but feel a smug sense of satisfaction.

You see I'm unique. That's my thing. That's how I fit into a high school hierarchy that can be cruel, crushing, and unforgiving (and that's on a good day). When I was younger all I wanted to do was fit in, to fade away. Actually that's still what I want but I've realized that my way of fitting in is being different. People want to be friends with me so they can come to my house and have dinner with my two dad's, they want to go sailing with my gorgeous Uncle', they want to be an extra in Dawson's latest film, they want to ride around with Audrey the rock star in her red convertible, they want Joey to take them to the new art exhibit and talk philosophy with them, and they want Andie to regale them with stories about Europe. They pretty much want to try my unconventional life on for size, sigh, say that my life is such a trip and go home to their two parent families and congratulate Opie for winning the big game. It's not a trip – it's my life. But I don't tell anyone that.

"I'm surprised that you even want to go to C.J.'s party." That was Pacey once again tearing me from my thoughts. I don't know why, but for some reason my inner monologue has been on overdrive lately.

I couldn't help but sigh. "I do but I don't. Out of the blue a few days ago he came up to me in hallway and said he wanted us to be friends again."

"Is that what you want?"

"No," I admitted. "Well I do, but I want more too." I couldn't help but blush a little bit. Usually I only talk about boys to Joey or Andie. "But if I don't go to the party tonight he'll think that I'm bitter about him breaking up with me in front of the whole school, which I am a bit. And if I do go not only will it be a bizarre form of torture to have to act like what happened between us doesn't bother me but we'll be under a microscope. So it sucks either way."

"Have you talked to C.J. about what happened at the dance?"

"Only a little. I mean he said that he was sorry but he never explained why he would just go postal and break up with me in front of everyone. Even JaJa saw."

"I know that must have sucked," Pacey said sympathetically. I could only nod my head in agreement. It sucked up one side and down the other. "But maybe I can offer a little insight into the male psyche. It probably didn't have anything to do with you. Guys, especially teenage guys, can really suck when it comes to expressing their feelings. Things probably just built up inside him until he couldn't keep them in anymore. He probably just lashed out at the most convenient target."

"Maybe," I conceded. It sort of makes sense. Actually I like that theory better than the 'Amy's a sucky girlfriend' theory that has recently plagued my thoughts.

"Of course you'll never know unless you ask him."

"I guess," I mumbled.

Since we were sort of connecting, or whatever, I guess I thought it was as good a time as ever to ask Pacey about some things that I have been wondering.

"Can I ask you something, Uncle Pace?"

"Sure," he said absentmindedly swirling a fry in ketchup. "Ask me anything you want Flounder."

"When people say that my mom made mistakes in her past, before she came to Capeside I mean, what exactly are they talking about?"

Pacey shifted in his chair a little and then cleared his throat. He's obviously uncomfortable. "Well, I didn't know your mom until she came to Capeside. It was the day before tenth grade, actually. We were at Dawson's house making a movie and she pulled up in a yellow Taxi. It was immediate,"

"Uncle Pacey," I groaned. I've heard this story at least a hundred times.

"Your mother was a wonderful woman. There was no one funnier and she wise, beyond her years actually. Jen was an absolute sweetheart."

He's avoiding the question. I obviously won't get any answers from him. What could have been so bad that would send her to another state?

"I should probably go," I said.

"How about you stay for another half an hour with me and I'll give you a ride to C.J.'s. I don't want you to walk in the dark."

"Sounds good," I took a drink of my soda. Actually the thought of walking wasn't very appealing.

"Did I ever tell you about the time that Joey sang in rock band?" He loves to tell me surprising stories about everyone.

"Only about a million times," I groan. I think it actually may have been two million. It's one of his favorites.

"What about Dawson's sixteenth birthday party?"

"I know all about the time that Uncle Dawson went cake diving." I still can't help but giggle at the mental image of Dawson falling into a cake.

"Hmm," I can tell that he's searching his conscious for a story I haven't heard. After fifteen years I bet he can't come up with one.

"Do you know about the time that Jack wore leather pants and got caught in a thunderstorm?"

"What!" Alright he found a story I have never heard. I can't believe that my dad would actually put on a pair of leather pants. "For real?"

"Yup," Pacey flashed his white teeth once more. "This is when he and your mom were in college. They were living in New York then and we had all come up to visit. He wanted to impress some guy. But when he was walking to the bar it started pouring out. Well not only were his pants ruined, but they were stuck."

"No way!" Why have I never heard this story before? It's priceless.

"Yeah. In the end I think Grams was the one who got them off of him. She used some homemade remedy or something. I never asked about it because frankly, I think I knew too much already."

I was laughing so hard I actually started to cry. I haven't teased JaJa about the pants yet. I think I'll save it as ammunition for a day when he doesn't like what I'm wearing to school.

Actually JaJa is calling me for breakfast right now. So I have to go now but I'll be back. You won't even believe what happened at the party.

Bye for now,

Amy

To Be Continued, Chapter Three Sheriff Witter Talks Crime And Punishment