Chapter 14
Disclaimer: Really, do I need to even write this? *Points to previous chapters* It's all there!
*The theme song plays while pictures of the characters modelling undies and bras flash past*
Disembodied Voice: Welcome to another episode of *dramatic pause* 'Daytime Soapies'! Who is the person walking on the footpath and what will happen now Joren has been recognised? What will happen to these and our many other heroes on today's show?
Show The People In Colours talking in a room that over looks the ball.
PIY: I think it's time…
PIG: Err…time for what?
PIY: To tell all the people down there what we have done!!
PIP: Really? Wont they get angry or something?
PIY: No! That's the beauty of this plan! They will all be to embarrass by what they have confessed that they wont have time to be angry!
PIG: *whispering to Purple* Is it just me or has Yellow finally lost it?
Cut to the ballroom. People are standing around talking but trying to avoid each other at the same time. Joren and Lark are standing in front of the door staring at each other, Lark has just recognised Joren.
Lark: So you're not dead huh?
Joren: I err…don't know what you're talking about….
Lark: I would recognise you anywhere-*is cut off*
Door: *swings open with a bang cutting off Lark*
Person: *stands in Door*
Everyone: *gasp*
Person: *walks in* Hey All
All: *covers noses* you smell!
Person: I know, I was sent a little surprise just a while ago; I came back here to find out who sent it to me.
Dom: *hides behind Cleon*
Alanna: *gasp* Liam? I thought you were *dramatic pause* dead!
Liam: No, after the accident with the magic and me growing and extra finger*holds up 6 fingered hand* I left to collect my thoughts. I moved far away, and spent my time reflecting on my time here and our relationship. Then one day I received a package. It showered me with goo and now the goo and the smell wont come off. The return address led me to here. Who is Dom?
Alanna: *snore* Huh? *Wakes up* Oh, that's Dom *gestures behind Cleon*
Cleon: Hey Dom isn't that that guy that, knocked up Lalasa?
Dom: *scared* Well the funny thing is that The Figure lied to us. Some guy called Joren actually did it. Sorry about the goo thing, mate. Bit of a miss understanding…
Liam: *eye twitch*we will sort it out later.
Kel: *gasp* Joren,
did he just say you are the father of Lalasa's baby? How could you? When? Why?
Joren: It was before us. We were on a cruise, working…it meant nothing! Anyway, aren't we fighting?
Dom: You are the father *tackles Joren*
Kel: You didn't tell me? *Attacks them both, scratching and cat fighting*
Liam: *taking her hands* Alanna, will you come back to me?
Alanna: *turning away from him* I am sorry but I'm married now.
Liam: So? *Shrugs* Dump the swine, Jon I presume?
Alanna: No, I decided to marry George…
George: *angry* you have no right to tell her to leave me! *Attacks Liam*
Liam, George, Dom, Kel and Joren: *all fighting*
Everyone else: *watches worried or placing bets*
Cleon: *to Alanna*Twenty nobles says Kel beats them all.
Alanna: You're on. Liam or George will win.
Cleon: Nah, they're old.
Kel: *thinking* Why am I fighting like a lily footed court lady? *Fight properly and wins the fight, knocks out the others* There…
Cleon: Pay up.
Alanna: *grudgingly* Fine…but she must have cheated.
A Speaker On The Wall: Hello everyone. There will be an announcement in a short while. Please make you way to the front of the room. This is no all an evil plot. Thank you for your time.
Cleon: Did you here that? This isn't an evil plot. That's put my heart to rest! Lets go!
Everyone: *standing in front of stage and talking amongst selves*
PIP: Hello! I am The Person In Purple!
Briar: I know you!
Cleon: *mutters to self* But he's wearing orange.
PIP: Yes you do Briar. By the way, did you ever find your mother?
Briar: Umm…no?
Liam: Briar? Is that really you! I am your mother!
Briar: No you not.
Liam: Oh yeah. Silly me.
PIP: Can we move on? Anyway, I am assuming that you have all noticed the strange out bursts you have all been making. You are doing that because…*dramatic pause* we made you! I would now like to welcome onto the stage the mastermind of the plan…The Person In Yellow!
Everyone: *polite clapping*
PIY: Hello. Now for no apparent reason I am going to tell you my entire plan. But first I think all the people who helped pull this off should be up here. Please welcome all the People In Colours! *Colours walk out*
Everyone: *more polite clapping*
PIY: And just so no one feels left out I'd like to call up some Colours from our past who had to leave us for cretin reasons. Come one up Red and Black! Joren! Sandry! Where are you?
Joren: *reluctantly walks up* I hate you…
PIY: Thank you! Where is Sandry?
Lalasa: * High-pitched scream* Sandry…Sandry's dead! I found her body in the well!
Rosethorn: *looks slightly guilty*
Everyone Else: *blink*
Lalasa: Aren't you all going to scream or something?
Jon: No. NO one really liked her did they?
Lalasa: Oh…
PIY: Well moving on. OK, is everyone really embarrassed and all that? *Not waiting for answer* All of you seem to have been doing this all right, telling your secrets and stuff. But a couple of you haven't. So I'll just help you along a bit. First up is *looks at list* Neal.
Neal: *is dragged onto stage and force feed the drink*
PIY: So Neal. What is your big secret that you ad to go to the police for?
Neal: *trying to hold voice in* I…I…*in one breath* I was coming beck from being away when I saw someone steal…lollies from a baby! I was rushing to inform the police when I…I hit…. *dramatic pause* Tris with my car! Oh, and I like to where women's undies. *Runs out of room screaming*
Everyone: *gasp*
PIY: Thank you. Next up is Daja.
Daja: *pulled onto stage and forced to drink* I wont tell you anything! *To people* Why aren't you helping me?
PIY: *smirking* So, Daja. Who are you in love with?
Daja: B…b…b…Briar!
Briar: *gasp* Really? *Running to her* I have always loved you!
Daja: Really? *Running to him*
Both: *run out door together*
PIY: Well that wasn't supposed to happen…um…anyway, next is Alanna.
Alanna: *is dragged up on stage kicking and screaming and cutting off limbs* Noooooooooo-*is cut off because drink in being pored into her mouth*
PIY: So, do you have any secrets to tell us?
Alanna: N…. n…YES! I am really a *dramatic pause* MAN! My name is Thom.
George: *to Jon and Liam* For some reason I think we should probably have noticed that she was a guy…
PIY: Well that's all I can think off at the moment so why don't we have a brea-
Kel: Wait! Give me some of that drink! I have to prove to Joren that I love him! *Drinks a lot of drink* Joren I *dramatic pause* love Chocolate and YOU!!
Joren: Really? Well I shall prove my love to you as well…*takes deep drink of drink* Kel, I love *dramatic pause* YOU!
Cleon: I want to join in! *Takes drink* I love *dramatic pause* JOREN!!
Joren: Really?
Kel: Wow, hey lets all g live together and have a three-way marriage and do weird kinky things in bed.
Joren & Cleon: OK.
Joren, Cleon & Kel: *walk out*
PIY: Umm…this isn't working out as I had planed there's supposed to be more heart breaking and stuff like that.
Lark: It seems you have done more good then harm.
PIY: Really?
Lark: Yep, that won't stop us hurting you nut. *Takes step towards PIY along with everyone else*
PIY: *realises how much danger is in* Oh…bugger…
Everyone: *storm the PIC's and force-feed them the drink*
Rosethorn: Now, who are you people?
Person In Green: I am…. *dramatic pause* Roger! Back from the dead! Ha ha! You wont take me alive! *Breaks free and does one person conga line*I am such a bad guy! I am such a bad guy!
Person In Purple: I wont tell you! I am definitely not a person you all know. How could you think I was Tobe? I am not Tobe!
Everyone: *gasp*
Lark: Well Yellow, who are you?
Person In Yellow: I will never tell you! Mwahahahahahah! *Is fed more drink* OK fine. I am *dramatic pause*….
Disembodied Voice: Next time...hold on there will be no next time! This is the last episode! I can finally say what I think! This story sucks! It's so see through and everyone know what will happen and I really hate me job but now it's over and I'm FREE!!! *Runs away but falls into a bathtub of Fizzy Fizz Drink (Mmmmm, it's good.) and by doing so unintentionally agrees to never leave the story even though it's over. * Please kill me…
Closing credits play to theme song.
Authors Note: That is the LAST chapter. There might be an epilogue one day to explain why they are all so out of character and all that stuff but it probably wont be for a long time. I really was going to reveal who Yellow was but you know…I'm evil. So I didn't. *Looks up* Wow this was a long chapter…six pages *is amazed*. Well, it's long for me…. Umm…if you liked reading this then don't read any of my other stories because they aren't like this at all (Well most of then aren't…) But if you just want something to read please go check them out!
Thank you to everyone who ever read this!! I LOVE reviews and so therefore I love all of you!!!
THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!
*Throws flowers and chocolate and other great things to readers*