Epilogue; The Loguys
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and I loosely based The Loguys on a real award show. And I don't own another things that might pop up. So, yeah…that's all really. Read and review!!!
Some dramatic music plays in the background and you see a small room. It is empty except for two voices coming out of nowhere. The Disembodied Voice and the Loguys Presenter.
Loguys Presenter: *in gravely voice* I can't present tonight, stuffed my voice up by yelling too much. We tried to get someone else but you where the only one available. Do this well and we might just have a look at annulling that everlasting contract you have with 'Daytime Soapies.'
Disembodied Voice: Really? Sir you wont regret this! I promise, I'll do the best job every. *Mutters to self* and then I can finally get away from that blasted show.
Loguys Presenter: Good, good. Whatever. Just get out there and present The Loguys!
Cut to a picture of a room full of people. They are all dressed up and sitting at tables. They all go quiet when a voice comes out of a speaker.
Disembodied Voice: Greetings and welcome to the years amazing Loguys! Tonight we will be presenting a whole bunch of awards, wont that be fun? Ok. To present the first away tonight is a performer who has thrilled his audiences for years and will continue to do so for many to come. Please welcome that big purple ball of blubber. Tinky Winky!!!
Crowed: *claps and cheers*
Tonky Winkie: *walks no stage* Hello everyone! How are we all tonight?
Crowd: *confused*
Random Person: Tinky Winky doesn't sound like that!
Tinky Winky: Look, I'm just a big purple actor that plays and annoying ball of flub in the show. I'm not really like that, OK? I do have a life outside the Teletubbies you know.
Crowd: *blink blink*
Cricket: Chirp chirp
Tonky Winkie: Fine…*sigh* Eh-oh!
Crowd: *yelling and cheering*
Tinkey Winky: The nominees for the 'Totally Irrelevant Soap Opera That Takes It's Actors From Other Worlds And Puts Them In Situation That Wouldn't Happen In Their World In Which They Act Totally Out Of Character' are 'The Bold, the Beautiful and The Ring'. 'Daytime Soapies.' And 'Home & Away At Discworld.'
Big Screen: *showing clips from each Soapie*
***
Fordo: We must get the ring back before Legolas uses it to propose to Aragon! He will not be able to refuse if the Ring uses its power on him!
Sam: Yes master Frodo, but what about your wedding? You can't miss that!
Frodo: I don't care! The fate of the world hangs in the balance. *Runs out of room*
***
Person
in Yellow: *enters sinisterly* Hello. Briar, I believe you have something we
want. May we please have it?
Briar: *getting a little bit scared and backing away* Never! You cannot have my
note.
PIY (Person in Yellow): Fine I will have to take you in to...
PIP:...Duh duh duh...
PIY: ...The room!
***
Rincewind: I have to get to the beach! I must warn everyone of the runaway space probe coming to crash right on their head! *Run out*
Commander Vimes: He wont get far…*pick up the phone and dial 000* Hello. Yes this is an emergency. A mad man is running to the beach with his clothes full of explosives; yes he's just on the road. They will only explode if he reaches the beach. You'll pick him up straight away? Thank you very much. *Hand up phone* Mwahahahahahah!
***
Tinky Winky: And the winner is-
Random Person: Ahem.
Tinky Winky: *sigh* Big hug to winner…'Daytime Soapies'! *Storms of stage and throw trophy at Evilstrawberry who is coming up on stage to collect it*
Evilstrawberry: *looks at trophy with tears in eyes* I don't know what to say…I want to thank my Mummy and Daddy for dropping my on my head when I was little, and the nice people in white coats for letting my stay in that padded room and giving me all those pills and I'd like to thank all the actors who acted of their own free will in my soap opera. Why don't you all come up here?
All People From Daytime Soapies: *walk onto stage and drone in time with each other* We liked working For Miss Strawberry. She was good to us and she didn't feed us hypnotic drugs of any kind. We worked of our own free will.
Evilstrawberry: *big grin* Kel, would you like to say a few words?
Kel: *droning voice* Yes. Thanks you. I am very proud that we won this award and we are not all on extra super hypnotic drugs for tonight to make sure we don't tell anyone anything at all. No, we are all acting exactly normal. *Eyes flicker* What? Oh my god! I'm free! It wore off! Yes! *Sees Evilstrawberry* Stay away from me! I refuse to take anymore of you hypnotic thingys! *Grabs award and waves it like a weapon*
Evilstrawberry: *fixed smile* He he he. You are so funny Kel. Now why don't you just hop of the stage?
Cleon: *blinking eyes* The…the drugs wore off? We're free? YES! In your face Miss. Strawberry!
All The Rest: *waking up*
Joren: *advancing on Evilstrawberry* You made me into a sissy!
Lalasa: *deliriously happy* Everyone, I'm free! Look-*pulls pillow from under her clothes* I wasn't pregnant! Every wondered why I didn't give birth in the show? They were to cheep to get a baby to play the baby! Ha ha! *Twirls around in circles* It was so annoying having people come up to me and ask me when I was due…
Neal: *taking a microphone and addressing the crowd* I would like to point out that I do not like wearing womens undies. The draw full of them in my room is for…academic proposes only. Got it?
Evilstrawberry: These guys are so funny, gets joke guys! *Worried*
Joren: I am going to hurt you…
Evilstrawberry: Hehehe, this is really funny.
Joren: Look into to my eyes and tell me I'm joking. You made me be with The Lump!
Evilstrawberry: Umm…the Readers! Yeah, the readers made me do it! I didn't want to and they forced me!
Cleon: And me liking Joren?
Evilstrawberry: All the readers fault. You can even look at their reviews. See, not my fault at all.
Jon: As king I suggest we go and talk to these readers. And we take Evilstrawberry for a little talk too.
Joren: *twitch* Yes, talk…
All: *storm out door*
Disembodied Voice: I thought I had gotten away from them! They are everywhere! Everywhere! I can't escape! *High pitched screaming*
Cut to a picture of all the Characters planing.
Kel: So these readers, they would be reading this right now right? And everything we are doing is writing it self on this script right here *waves around papers* And that is what they are reading?
Liam: It seems so. Hmm…so if we just-
Evilstrawberry: *cuts him off with a scream* Noooooo! I'll promise never to go near you ever again if you'd only let me go! Please!
Joren: No way.
Rodger: Not a chance, this is too much fun…
Rosethorn: Lucky no one drinks out of this well huh? Or they'd be drinking some pretty strange things for a while. Who knew two little mice could make a nest in someone's hair so quickly. Ok Alanna, start singing again.
Evilstrawberry: *high pitched scream*
Liam: As I was saying, if we just wrote that we- *whisper whisper whisper*
Jon: That could work…lets do it.
Kel: *picks up pencil and writes something at bottom of the script*
Joren: *snatches script and pencil and write something of his own*
A vortex suddenly formes in the middle of the group. It leads to another world. One in which people are sitting in front of computers and reading this. All the characters jump through. Joren looks up just before he jumps through the vortex and says "Keep looking aver your shoulders, we'll be coming for you real soon…" He smirks and jumps through the vortex.
Alanna: *is in the vortex tumbling around* Just out of curiosity, does anyone know who these readers are? No? Well where are we going exactly then?
Kel: Ummm…I don't really know…
Alanna: Oh, well right then.
All: *tumble out in the middle of now where*
Jon: I think maybe we should have thought this through a bit more…
Evilstrawberry: I escaped! Mwahahahahahah! You are all trapped here forever!!
Joren: Bugger…
The End
Authors Note: That was…weird…and pointless and didn't make sense…like most of my writing! *Grin* Anyway, I won't leave them there forever. Just a few days, then they will be returned to their homes with all their memories wiped, OK? Feel free to pop over to 'The Middle of Nowhere.' And play with them. Well this is truly the end. Really. Wow, what'll I do in my spare time now? I wasn't even going to write this so soon except it's the holidays and I had nothing to do. I guess I could start some of my school assignments that are due soon…or I could sleep…. hmmm…
Thank you sooooooooooo much for reading and please review!!!
Good Luck and Good Bye,
Evilstrawberry