Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and Sweet Little Lies aren't mine.
in my hands
By miyamoto yui
Part 3 - feeling torn.
"'Tori~!" Ayame whined as he pulled on Hatori's sleeve.
He lifted up an eyebrow as he stopped to look at Ayame. Turning around he answered, "Yes?"
"I've been trying to get your attention for about five minutes now!"
"Mmm..." he answered as Ayame became quite impatient.
"You've been taking your courses really seriously. Even more overboard than you usually are," Ayame commented while resuming walking.
Hatori nodded his head, but kept his lips sealed. He was thinking, but about different things.
"You always know what you want," Ayume said with a sad tone and Hatori couldn't read his expression at that moment...
"But the young master was shouting," the maid said to Hatori as he came back to chaos. He walked into Akito's room. He gave her a look as Akito shook his head. Throwing his pillow at Hatori he shouted, "Get him out of my room. NOW!"
But Hatori kept his stance. He sent the maid away as he closed the door behind him. Leaning on the door, he crossed his arms to look at Akito.
"I know what's best for you," Hatori had said with a straight face.
Akito glared at him as his kimono was falling off his shoulders. He was pulling on the sleeves to keep them up. "Best for me?"
Hatori pushed himself off and wrapped his arms around Akito while Akito shuddered in fear.
This single act of grace was laced with self-infliction.
Hatori's lips parted as they sucked on Akito's neck while he leaned back onto Hatori's warm body. "Stop it," he said while shaking his head slowly.
Hatori pushed him on the wall while putting his hands over Akito's white ones, intertwining their fingers as he kissed him. Hatori said nothing as Akito turned around and slapped him across the face.
Even though Hatori's lip was bleeding, his green eyes stared at the young Akito, who was trying to deny something to both of them, but he couldn't understand himself...
"Ahh..." Akito said as he surrendered to Hatori as his tongue ran down his spine as he made love to him. His hands kept on groping onto Akito as if he would disappear and dismiss him as if he had never been there at all.
He had wanted to touch him for so long even though it made his heart cringe at this wrongdoing.
--
At that moment, Hatori's fingers ran through Akito's hair and then seized the ends.
He stared down at the body below him. Leaning forward, he kissed his ncek and whispered to the sleeping Akito, "Tell me lies. Tell me sweet little lies."
Akito was only fourteen-and-a-half then when he kissed him until all of his bottled up emotions just took over, almost raping him. At the end of the whole thing, Akito held him and wouldn't let him out of his room for days.
Everyone wondered what rigorous work the doctor must have been doing, but Hatori just smirked behind the screen doors of Akito's room. He liked the cold touch of this boy who almost looked like a girl.
There was something about him that he couldn't ever explain to Shigure, Ayame, or anyone for that matter. No, they wouldn't understand the way he felt because it wasn't just a feeling.
It had become a destructive way of life.
Akito was only seven when he had a good look at him in a white kimono. Akito was hanging out the window with a tired look. It wasn't the usual menacing look that people thought was a part of him. No, Akito was just as bright as any other child.
Hatori bowed his head forward in silence while passing by. He even found himself waving to the child that was said to be the core of their curse.
He wondered what was that like. How did the child feel?
Did the child even know?
It was precisely at that moment that Akito found himself waving back at Hatori. Sickly as he was, there were rare moments when he was friendly to people. Most people thought that was an illusion, but Hatori knew all along.
He was the one who had to watch Akito being told that he was going to die because of this curse.
Being a child, Akito's lip quivered. He wasn't going to cry. No, he wasn't going to admit defeat to all these elders.
When he left, he looked out the window to find that Yuki was outside.
He didn't hate Yuki at all...
But Yuki was out there and he was in here.
Yuki looked just like him...
But why was _he_ the one with such a fate?
Things started to work in his head and they would contort with time...
Hatori watched Akito leave and that night, he asked to see him. Akito didn't really know his cousin Hatori, but only as that strange stoic who waved to him from the window.
Reading a book, Akito looked up to see two green eyes looking down at him. Hatori sat before him.
Hatori spoke to him gently, "How are you?"
Akito blinked his eyes at him. "..."
He couldn't say anything.
But at that instant, Akito found his hands forming into fists as he bowed his head. Tears were dripping onto his book and he turned around. Hatori hugged him from behind.
"Don't touch me," Akito protested as he shook his head, not wanting to be pitied. Hatori held him closer and the tears came out even more.
Hatori closed his eyes and said, "It's okay."
"I don't want to die..." the young boy said in fear. "Why do _I_ have to die?"
And why was Hatori there? Who was he to take care of him?
What did he want from him? Wasn't that what all people wanted? They needed something from you.
"Don't worry, I won't let you," Hatori said as he let go.
Getting up, he left Akito stunned in his place.
It was then that he wanted to become a doctor. Why?
Was it pity? Or was it affection?
No, he didn't understand it himself, but he knew it wasn't fair to Akito. People who didn't have the curse didn't understand. They could empathize, but they couldn't ever truly understand the pain of never being able to touch someone that intimately.
And for him, the scar was even deeper than losing his eye.
He could finally touch Akito, but Akito was far away from him.
Very far away.
Akito wouldn't let him in.
Was it Yuki? No, he understood that Yuki was the cover for his inner struggle.
Hatori positioned him on the bed as he slept soundly, but Hatori couldn't go to sleep. He only turned off the lights to look out into the darkness.
Then, he felt Akito's hands touch him, pulling his face towards him. He pushed his tongue through Hatori's closed lips and forced his way in.
This was the only way.
You could only believe in what your senses could feel, right? Those were the only things that could tell you the truth. Words weren't anything.
Pain or smiling...
It was all the same to him.
This was the only way he could tell Hatori without admitting it aloud. His words meant nothing and his body told the truth towards Hatori, if only Hatori could understand that much.
--
The next day, they went home and Akito took an afternoon nap. Hatori went over to Momiji's part of the lot because Momiji wanted to talk to him. He had heard from Shigure that Akito and him had gone to the cabin up in the mountains.
Hatori sat in Momiji's black deskchair as Momiji sat on the bed with a pout on his face. "Hatori!"
"What?" Hatori answered calmly while lighting up a cigarette.
Momiji cleared his throat and sighed as he said, "I know you're concerned about Akito's health. We all are. We know it's only a matter of time."
"No, he isn't dying," Hatori immediately answered. Whether or not it was out of denial remained a mystery to Momiji.
"Stop doing this to yourself," Momiji said as he shook his head with his hands in fists. "_I_ know more than anyone what's going on here. Whether Shigure-san or Ayame-san realize it or not, _I_ know you more than anyone."
Hatori looked away as he kept smoking his cigarette. "Why are you getting all upset? Calm down."
Momiji got up in frustration. "This is what has happened ever since you moved into his house. You're not the Hatori I used to know then."
The green eye remained unchanged.
"I don't want to see you this way." Momiji stared into Hatori's profile.
Hatori's lips slightly smiled as he said while still not looking at Momiji, "I like it this way."
Shocked, Momiji took up Hatori's collar and shook him back and forth. "You act like you've been drugged. What's wrong with you, Hatori? You used to talk to me. Why are you holding this from me?"
Momiji was close to tears but he would be damned before he even cried. "I was there when you lost Kana and I understood because of my mom. Why are you being this way?"
"Poisoned," Hatori had wanted to say but he kept quiet.
"Please listen to me, Hatori," Momiji pleaded with concerned eyes.
"I have to get back to my office, Momiji," Hatori finally spoke up with a harsh tone.
A tear fell from Momiji's eye as he slowly let go of Hatori's shirt collar. In shock, he looked at Hatori in disbelief. Years ago, Hatori wouldn't have ever been that mean to him.
But Hatori turned a deaf ear and blind eye as he got up to leave.
"There are two kinds of love that exist in the world," Momiji spoke up. "They'll tell you it's between true and false or unrequited and being loved back, but that isn't how I think."
Hatori stopped walking and stood in his place to listen.
Without turning his head to look at Hatori, he blinked his eyes with more tears falling. He couldn't catch them from dropping and he felt like his heart was pouring out before him.
But he wasn't weak. He wasn't going to be weak about this.
Momiji walked in front of Hatori and looked into his face. "For me, the two kinds of love are understanding and not understanding."
Reaching up to Hatori's collar, he shook his head and smiled, "But why am I feeling both of them at the same time?"
Pulling Hatori's collar, Momiji kissed him passionately on the lips.
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's notes: I know there just seems to be (blatantly) lots of 'scenes', but I can't imagine this pairing without it being so sexual. That scene with Akito pulling on Hatori's tie in the series struck me as both beautiful and disturbing. It stuck in my head and is always the unconscious reference that I believe is this pairing.
This is going much faster than it shouldn't it? ^_________^ Hee. You really thought I was just going to leave it with Akito and Hatori? Oh no no...I don't want to make it that easy...
I'm evil, aren't I? * smiles * And I'm enjoying it!
in my hands
By miyamoto yui
Part 3 - feeling torn.
"'Tori~!" Ayame whined as he pulled on Hatori's sleeve.
He lifted up an eyebrow as he stopped to look at Ayame. Turning around he answered, "Yes?"
"I've been trying to get your attention for about five minutes now!"
"Mmm..." he answered as Ayame became quite impatient.
"You've been taking your courses really seriously. Even more overboard than you usually are," Ayame commented while resuming walking.
Hatori nodded his head, but kept his lips sealed. He was thinking, but about different things.
"You always know what you want," Ayume said with a sad tone and Hatori couldn't read his expression at that moment...
"But the young master was shouting," the maid said to Hatori as he came back to chaos. He walked into Akito's room. He gave her a look as Akito shook his head. Throwing his pillow at Hatori he shouted, "Get him out of my room. NOW!"
But Hatori kept his stance. He sent the maid away as he closed the door behind him. Leaning on the door, he crossed his arms to look at Akito.
"I know what's best for you," Hatori had said with a straight face.
Akito glared at him as his kimono was falling off his shoulders. He was pulling on the sleeves to keep them up. "Best for me?"
Hatori pushed himself off and wrapped his arms around Akito while Akito shuddered in fear.
This single act of grace was laced with self-infliction.
Hatori's lips parted as they sucked on Akito's neck while he leaned back onto Hatori's warm body. "Stop it," he said while shaking his head slowly.
Hatori pushed him on the wall while putting his hands over Akito's white ones, intertwining their fingers as he kissed him. Hatori said nothing as Akito turned around and slapped him across the face.
Even though Hatori's lip was bleeding, his green eyes stared at the young Akito, who was trying to deny something to both of them, but he couldn't understand himself...
"Ahh..." Akito said as he surrendered to Hatori as his tongue ran down his spine as he made love to him. His hands kept on groping onto Akito as if he would disappear and dismiss him as if he had never been there at all.
He had wanted to touch him for so long even though it made his heart cringe at this wrongdoing.
--
At that moment, Hatori's fingers ran through Akito's hair and then seized the ends.
He stared down at the body below him. Leaning forward, he kissed his ncek and whispered to the sleeping Akito, "Tell me lies. Tell me sweet little lies."
Akito was only fourteen-and-a-half then when he kissed him until all of his bottled up emotions just took over, almost raping him. At the end of the whole thing, Akito held him and wouldn't let him out of his room for days.
Everyone wondered what rigorous work the doctor must have been doing, but Hatori just smirked behind the screen doors of Akito's room. He liked the cold touch of this boy who almost looked like a girl.
There was something about him that he couldn't ever explain to Shigure, Ayame, or anyone for that matter. No, they wouldn't understand the way he felt because it wasn't just a feeling.
It had become a destructive way of life.
Akito was only seven when he had a good look at him in a white kimono. Akito was hanging out the window with a tired look. It wasn't the usual menacing look that people thought was a part of him. No, Akito was just as bright as any other child.
Hatori bowed his head forward in silence while passing by. He even found himself waving to the child that was said to be the core of their curse.
He wondered what was that like. How did the child feel?
Did the child even know?
It was precisely at that moment that Akito found himself waving back at Hatori. Sickly as he was, there were rare moments when he was friendly to people. Most people thought that was an illusion, but Hatori knew all along.
He was the one who had to watch Akito being told that he was going to die because of this curse.
Being a child, Akito's lip quivered. He wasn't going to cry. No, he wasn't going to admit defeat to all these elders.
When he left, he looked out the window to find that Yuki was outside.
He didn't hate Yuki at all...
But Yuki was out there and he was in here.
Yuki looked just like him...
But why was _he_ the one with such a fate?
Things started to work in his head and they would contort with time...
Hatori watched Akito leave and that night, he asked to see him. Akito didn't really know his cousin Hatori, but only as that strange stoic who waved to him from the window.
Reading a book, Akito looked up to see two green eyes looking down at him. Hatori sat before him.
Hatori spoke to him gently, "How are you?"
Akito blinked his eyes at him. "..."
He couldn't say anything.
But at that instant, Akito found his hands forming into fists as he bowed his head. Tears were dripping onto his book and he turned around. Hatori hugged him from behind.
"Don't touch me," Akito protested as he shook his head, not wanting to be pitied. Hatori held him closer and the tears came out even more.
Hatori closed his eyes and said, "It's okay."
"I don't want to die..." the young boy said in fear. "Why do _I_ have to die?"
And why was Hatori there? Who was he to take care of him?
What did he want from him? Wasn't that what all people wanted? They needed something from you.
"Don't worry, I won't let you," Hatori said as he let go.
Getting up, he left Akito stunned in his place.
It was then that he wanted to become a doctor. Why?
Was it pity? Or was it affection?
No, he didn't understand it himself, but he knew it wasn't fair to Akito. People who didn't have the curse didn't understand. They could empathize, but they couldn't ever truly understand the pain of never being able to touch someone that intimately.
And for him, the scar was even deeper than losing his eye.
He could finally touch Akito, but Akito was far away from him.
Very far away.
Akito wouldn't let him in.
Was it Yuki? No, he understood that Yuki was the cover for his inner struggle.
Hatori positioned him on the bed as he slept soundly, but Hatori couldn't go to sleep. He only turned off the lights to look out into the darkness.
Then, he felt Akito's hands touch him, pulling his face towards him. He pushed his tongue through Hatori's closed lips and forced his way in.
This was the only way.
You could only believe in what your senses could feel, right? Those were the only things that could tell you the truth. Words weren't anything.
Pain or smiling...
It was all the same to him.
This was the only way he could tell Hatori without admitting it aloud. His words meant nothing and his body told the truth towards Hatori, if only Hatori could understand that much.
--
The next day, they went home and Akito took an afternoon nap. Hatori went over to Momiji's part of the lot because Momiji wanted to talk to him. He had heard from Shigure that Akito and him had gone to the cabin up in the mountains.
Hatori sat in Momiji's black deskchair as Momiji sat on the bed with a pout on his face. "Hatori!"
"What?" Hatori answered calmly while lighting up a cigarette.
Momiji cleared his throat and sighed as he said, "I know you're concerned about Akito's health. We all are. We know it's only a matter of time."
"No, he isn't dying," Hatori immediately answered. Whether or not it was out of denial remained a mystery to Momiji.
"Stop doing this to yourself," Momiji said as he shook his head with his hands in fists. "_I_ know more than anyone what's going on here. Whether Shigure-san or Ayame-san realize it or not, _I_ know you more than anyone."
Hatori looked away as he kept smoking his cigarette. "Why are you getting all upset? Calm down."
Momiji got up in frustration. "This is what has happened ever since you moved into his house. You're not the Hatori I used to know then."
The green eye remained unchanged.
"I don't want to see you this way." Momiji stared into Hatori's profile.
Hatori's lips slightly smiled as he said while still not looking at Momiji, "I like it this way."
Shocked, Momiji took up Hatori's collar and shook him back and forth. "You act like you've been drugged. What's wrong with you, Hatori? You used to talk to me. Why are you holding this from me?"
Momiji was close to tears but he would be damned before he even cried. "I was there when you lost Kana and I understood because of my mom. Why are you being this way?"
"Poisoned," Hatori had wanted to say but he kept quiet.
"Please listen to me, Hatori," Momiji pleaded with concerned eyes.
"I have to get back to my office, Momiji," Hatori finally spoke up with a harsh tone.
A tear fell from Momiji's eye as he slowly let go of Hatori's shirt collar. In shock, he looked at Hatori in disbelief. Years ago, Hatori wouldn't have ever been that mean to him.
But Hatori turned a deaf ear and blind eye as he got up to leave.
"There are two kinds of love that exist in the world," Momiji spoke up. "They'll tell you it's between true and false or unrequited and being loved back, but that isn't how I think."
Hatori stopped walking and stood in his place to listen.
Without turning his head to look at Hatori, he blinked his eyes with more tears falling. He couldn't catch them from dropping and he felt like his heart was pouring out before him.
But he wasn't weak. He wasn't going to be weak about this.
Momiji walked in front of Hatori and looked into his face. "For me, the two kinds of love are understanding and not understanding."
Reaching up to Hatori's collar, he shook his head and smiled, "But why am I feeling both of them at the same time?"
Pulling Hatori's collar, Momiji kissed him passionately on the lips.
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's notes: I know there just seems to be (blatantly) lots of 'scenes', but I can't imagine this pairing without it being so sexual. That scene with Akito pulling on Hatori's tie in the series struck me as both beautiful and disturbing. It stuck in my head and is always the unconscious reference that I believe is this pairing.
This is going much faster than it shouldn't it? ^_________^ Hee. You really thought I was just going to leave it with Akito and Hatori? Oh no no...I don't want to make it that easy...
I'm evil, aren't I? * smiles * And I'm enjoying it!