Usual disclaimers apply.
Author's notes: I can't help thinking stupid thoughts while writing this. Basically because I'm not really into writing serious shounen-ai. So...
Paranoia Bloopers!
Blooper 1: Leorio and Kurapika
Leorio: Kurapika! Get a hold of yourself! Kurapika!
Kurapika: (quickly sits up) Leorio! You're disgusting!
Leorio: Hey! Aren't you supposed to be in a coma?
Kurapika: Not when you're spitting all over me, you idiot! And your breath stinks too!
Leorio: My breath stinks? Well, I guess it's because of the garlic bread I ate.
Kurapika: Your disgusting! (slaps Leorio and leaves)
0o0
Blooper 2: Leorio and Kurapika, again.
Leorio: Kurapika! Get a hold of yourself! Kurapika!
Kurapika: (quickly sits up) You PERVERT!!!
Leorio: Why what were you thinking, anyway?
Kurapika: (blushes) Nothing... nothing...
0o0
Blooper 3: Gon and Kurapika
Gon: (comes running into the room) KURAPIKA!!! Oops! (trips and falls over Kurapika) Sorry, Kurapika.
Kurapika: ouch...
0o0
Blooper 4: Leorio and Senritsu
Leorio: (grave face) Senritsu...
Senritsu: I chan hir... hish hartbesht...
Leorio: What?
Senritsu: Hish hartbesht...
Leorio: WHAT?!
Senritsu: Damn... (takes off her buckteeth) His heartbeat, you fool! His heartbeat!
Leorio: Waaahhhh!!! The midget's so mean! (runs away crying)
Senritsu: (shakes fist) And don't you dare come back, you buffoon!
0o0
Blooper 5: Kurapika and Kuroro
Kurapika: (walking away)
Kuroro: It's tough isn't it? When... when... what was it again? (takes out script) Oh, here it is!
Kurapika: (sweatdrops)
Kuroro: Ehem... It's tough isn't it? When everybody wants you to be perfect. But what's the use anyway? Why study when the most in... ingo... ingoranet... (blinks eyes) What is this word? Ingorant?
Kurapika: (vein pop) It's ignorant, you fool! Ignorant!
Kuroro: It's such a hard word... Why do I have to speak hard words?
Kurapika: Because you're supposed to talk that way!
Kuroro: (whines) But I don't wanna speak hard words. I wanna be a fairy princess... or a Sailor Senshi... Why can't I be a Sailor Senshi? Wear short skirts... have cute attack names...
Kurapika: ARGH! I can't work like this!!! Hey, Thirteenth_Spider! Come here!
TS: Yep! What is it?
Kurapika: Why do I have to work with this... SPIDER!
TS: Well, it's the whole plot of this story.
Kurapika: But he's an idiot! Why aren't I paired with Leorio or with Killua?! Or maybe even Hysoka?! Why HIM?!
TS: Because I want to... (smirks)
Kurapika: I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS!!! I'm going to my dressing room! (leaves)
Kuroro: (cries) WAAAHHHH!!! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi!
TS: (groans) Wait a minute... does Kurapika have a dressing room? I don't remember providing him with one... (smirks)
0o0
Blooper 6: Voices in the Darkness
Voices: Isn't it great to be in love? Such a warm and fuzzy feeling enveloping you all over! Were his kisses warm and gentle? Or were they hot and passionate?
Kurapika: (blushes) Well... actually... he doesn't kiss me.
Voices: What? But- but-
Kurapika: He goes right on to what happens next, the good stuff. He's a Scorpio, y'know. (hearts for eyes) He'd take me in his arms and...
TS: CUT!!! CUT!!! This is not an NC-17 fic!
Kurapika: It's not?
TS: Yes!
Kurapika: Damn, I was looking forward too...
TS: (thwacks Kurapika) SHUT UP!!! (cries) Oh... my poor innocent mind!
0o0
Blooper 7: Voices in the Darkness
Voices: Don't know you? Oh... you're wrong, Kurapika. We do know you, much more than you know yourself. Much, much more... Your birthday is in April 4, an Aries, blood type AB...
Kurapika: How did you know that?
Voices: We're a member of your fan club!
Kurapika: Really? So, do you have a lock of my hair given to each member of the club?
Voices: Yes we do! We even have a picture of you before the fan club started! (shows picture of Kurapika with long hair)
TS: Hey, cool! (rushes in the scene and looks at the pic) Kurapika, you look good with long hair! What happened?
Kurapika: The fan club happened. I didn't expect to have that many fans.
TS: Oh! Can I join the club too?
Kurapika: Sure! Just let me get some scissors and I'll get you a lock of my hair.
TS: No need. (takes out a large scythe) I'll use this instead!
Kurapika: (sweatdrops) Uhmm... Thirteenth_spider, I think that's a bit too much.
TS: No way! I'll get your hair with this... along with your head! Nyahahaha! Kuruta eyes are much more expensive with the head intact! Nyahahahaha!
Kurapika: (runs for his life) YAAAHHHH!!!
TS: (chases after him, swinging her scythe around) Nyahahahahaha!!!
0o0
Blooper 8: Kuroro and The Spider
Kuroro: (looks around him) Who are you?
Spider: I am the Spider
Kuroro: Oh! Hi Spider! I'm Kuroro!
Spider: Hi Kuroro!
Kuroro: Hey, do you like the role they gave to you?
Spider: (whines) Noo! I wanted to be a Powerpuff Girl! I don't wanna be some voice in the darkness!
Kuroro: Yeah! I wanted to be a Sailor Senshi but the authoress won't let me!
Spider: Isn't she the meanest?!
Kuroro: I don't like her! (sticks tongue out)
TS: Hey! I'm here you know?!
Spider and Kuroro: Oops!
TS: Grrrr....
Spider and Kuroro: Run for it!!! (runs, although I don't know how a voice in the shadows could run...)
0o0
Blooper 9: Kuroro and the Shadows
Shadows: (dancing around) Okashira... Okashira... (forms into four men, a muscular one, a fat one, a short one and a masked one)
Kuroro: Beshimi... Shikijo... Hyotoko... Hanya...
TS: (runs and hugs Hanya) Hanya-san!!!
Killua: (whispers to Leorio) I didn't know our authoress has a thing for ugly masked men.
TS: I heard that! And for your information, I do not have that kind of feelings for Hanya... I just think he's the best member of the Oniwabanshuu ever! (faces Hanya) Ne, Hanya, why are you guys here?
Hanya: Huh? Isn't this the scene where we haunt Aoshi Shinomori?
TS: No! This is Hunter x Hunter!
Hanya: Oh! (calls out to his comrades) Come on, guys! We're in the wrong studio! (disappears)
Shikijo: Again! Last time we were in the set of Yuu Yuu Hakusho! (disappears)
Beshimi and Hyotoko: (disappears)
Kuroro: (whines, again) I wanna be a Sailor Senshi!
TS: Oh, SHUT UP! (whacks Kuroro)
0o0
Blooper 10: Shadow Dance
The shadows danced faster... faster...
Shadow 1: (bumps into Shadow 2)
Shadow 2: Ouch! (bumps into Shadow 3)
Shadow 3: Hey! Watch where you're going!
Shadow 4: (steps on Shadow 1's foot)
Shadow 1: Hey! That hurt, twinkle toes!
Shadow 2: Look who's talking! You're the one who bumped into me!
Shadow 1: I wouldn't have bumped into you if you weren't in my way!
Shadow 2: WHAT?!
Shadow 1: So you wanna fight, huh?!
Shadow 2: Yeah!
Shadow 3: Well, you're going to have to fight with me too, Shadow 2! You bumped into me!
Shadow 4: And Shadow 1's also going to have to face me!
Shadows: (start beating each other up)
....and then slower... slower...
Shadow 1: (walks in a disoriented way and faints)
Shadow 2: (faints)
Shadow 3: (blows on Shadow 4's face)
Shadow 4: (tumbles down)
Shadow 3: (peace sign) Victory! (faints)
TS: (groans) Where can I find talented shadow dancers now that my dancers are out of commission?! (hits head on the wall)
0o0
Blooper 11: THE KISS!!! Yeah, baby! Yeah!
Kuroro closed his eyes to keep his tears from falling. I love you, Kuroro... he heard her whisper. He felt her lips brush against his. He placed his hand on top of hers and opened his eyes... but instead of Pakunoda... he saw...
Kuroro: Hysoka?!
Hysoka: Yo! (peace sign)
Kuroro: (spits) Pwe! Pwe!
TS: Hysoka?! You're not in this fic!
Hysoka: (places hand on hips) SoOoOo?
Kuroro: (barfing)
TS: (looks at Kuroro) I almost feel sorry for the guy-
Hysoka: Oh, really?
TS: NAH! (pats Hysoka on the back) Nice job, Hysoka! NOW, GIT!!! (kicks Hysoka out of the fic)
Hysoka: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again! (disappears)
0o0
Blooper 12: Kuruta Village
Kuroro: Are you sure it's alright? The people are avoiding me like a plague.
Kurapika: (smiles sweetly) It's okay. Our tribe is just suspicious of outsiders. I'm sure they'll welcome you warmly once they get to know you.
Kuroro: (shadow) Oh, is that so...
Kurapika: (concern) What's wrong Kuroro?
Kuroro: (stops) I have to go to the bathroom! (whimpers) Kurapika: (sweatdrops) Thirteenth_spider! Kuroro's being stupid again! (runs to find the authoress)
0o0
Blooper 13: Go Chain Jail! Go!
He stopped, confused. He shook his head. Why the hell am I stopping? I should attack him now! Attack him before he gets me! But he just stood there, numb. For some weird reason, he can't seem to get the chain jail to shoot out from his hand.
Kurapika: What the?! Go, chain jail! (raises hand... nothing happened) Oh, shit! Go chain jail! (puts hand in a thumbs up position, still nothing.) Fly chain jail! (waves hand, still nothing!) Fly! (wiggles finger with chain jail, still nothing.) Awww! Dammit! (puts hand in a patented Spiderman position, web shoots from his hand) Hey cool!
Kuroro: Ewww!!! It's a web! It's so sticky-icky!
Kurapika: Shut up! Yeah! I'm Spiderman! (shoots web and starts swinging around)
Change of scenery... On top of a tall building, Kurapika is squatting on a thin flagpole.
Kurapika: Who am I? (pause for added effect) I'm Spiderman.
TS: (drops a can of beer ) God, I gotta stop drinking.
0o0
Blooper 14: Punch line
Kurapika: (punches Kuroro) Owww!!! (looks at swelling fist)
Kuroro: Hehehe...
Kurapika: My hand! My beautiful, soft and silky hand! How dare you!
Kuroro: Bwahahahaha!!!
Kurapika: Ugh! (gets some lotion) It's going to take a lot of moisturizing to get this hand back in shape! Oh, my beautiful hand...
TS: (in the background, looks at Kurapika weirdly) Dammit, I feel like such a fag...
0o0
Behind the Scenes: Hands, Face and Mind...
Kuroro: (whimpering, feeling the hard bumps on his cheek) Thirteenth_spider, look what the Kuruta did to my beautiful face! How am I supposed to be Sailor Senshi now with such a bruise-covered face? And I'm missing some teeth too!
TS: Oh, shut up and quit your whimpering lest I yank out more of your teeth from your beautiful... I think I'm gonna spew... face!
Kuroro: (sticks tongue out) Meanie! (sobs) My face... he destroyed my beautiful face...
Kurapika: (whimpering) My hand... my poor soft and silky hand...
TS: (shakes head in disbelief) My mind... my poor innocent and battered mind...
0o0
Blooper 15: Soft Blonde Hair
Kurapika: (crying) Leorio... Leorio...
Leorio: Are you alright, Kurapika? (runs hand through Kurapika's soft blonde hair) God, Kurapika! You're hair... it's so... so...
Kurapika: (wipes tears) So what?
Leorio: It's so soft!
Kurapika: (sits up) Of course! I use "Gee, Your Terrific Hair Smells" shampoo and conditioner everyday!
Leorio: (bends over to smell Kurapika's hair)Pechie-bye-golly Gee! You're right! You're terrific hair does smell! I'm going to use that shampoo too! But... I don't have enough money.
Kurapika: Not to worry, Leorio! "Gee, Your Terrific Hair Smells" Shampoo is also sold in sachet packs, which only cost 2 jenis per sachet!
Leorio: Wow! That's amazing! I'm going to buy some, right now!
Kurapika: Don't forget to buy "Gee, Your Terrific Hair Smells" for armpit hair and you-know-where hair too!
Leorio: Of course I won't! Now let's hurry into the nearest store before they run out of these wonderful products! (leaves)
Kurapika: Hey, wait for me! (runs after Leorio)
TS: Uhmm... guys? This wasn't supposed to be a shampoo commercial... Guys?
0o0
Blooper 16: Jealous of the one who finally found you...
Leorio and Kurapika: (sitting in the bed... K-I-S-S-I-N-G!)
TS: YADDDAAA!!! (pushes Leorio aside) Get off him, you freak!
Leorio: (falls off the bed) Ow! What the hell did you do that for?!
Kurapika: Uhmm... Thirteenth_spider, that kiss was in the script. You wrote it yourself, right?
TS: (blushes) Yes... demooooo...
Kura & Leo: What?
TS: Argh! Never mind! (storms out the room)
Leorio: What's wrong with her?
Kurapika: (shrugs)
0o0
Aftermath: More Jealousy and Sailor Senshis!!!
Kurapika: Mou! I just can't decide.
Kuroro: Kurapika, you know your heart yearns for me...
Leorio: Shut-up freak! Kurapika loves me!
Kurapika: Mou! I just don't know!
Leorio: Pick me, Kurapika! Pick me!
Kuroro: No, me! This monkey doesn't deserve you!
Leorio: MONKEY?!!! (evil glare)
Kuroro: (returns evil glare)
Leorio and Kuroro: (beat each other up)
Killua: Hey, Kurapika, what about me? What about the times we shared together?
Kurapika: (blushes) Oh, my!
Hysoka: Kurapika... my fresh fruit...
Kurapika: (blushes harder)
Killua: Hey, who are you calling fresh fruit, freakazoid?!
Hysoka: Hmmm... you're just jealous!
Killua: That's it! I don't care if you're stronger than me! This means war!
Hysoka and Killua: (beat each other up)
Kurapika: (blushy-blush-blush) Boys, boys, please don't fight over me.
TS: DAMEEEE!!!
Everybody: (stops fighting and stares)
TS: (grabs Kurapika) Kurapika's mine!
Everybody: (in shock)
Killua: Hey!
TS: (snaps fingers, Gon suddenly appears)
Gon: Huh? Where am I? (spots Killua) Killua!
Killua: Gon! (runs to give Gon a hug)
Hysoka: You may have bested the shrimp, but can you beat me?
TS: (snaps fingers and Irumi suddenly appears)
Hysoka: Irumi-chan!
Irumi: (shakes head) Oh, no... (runs)
Hysoka: Irumi-chan! (chases after Irumi)
Leorio: Hey, cool! Can you make a lot of sexy chicks who are hopelessly in- love with me appear?
TS: Sure! (snaps fingers and a lot of chicks appear)
Chicken 1: (told you they were chicks) Look girls, he's a big one! (points at Leorio)
Chicken 2: And he's so handsome! (hearts for eyes)
Chicken 3: Ahhh... Leorio-sama! (swoons!)
Leorio: (sweatdrops) This wasn't what I hoped for...
Chicken 4: Let's get him, girls!
Chickens: Yeah!
Leorio: Waaaahhh!!! (runs)
Chickens: (chases after Leorio... yeah, I know, this came from a Johnny Bravo episode...)
TS: Now there's only you and me, Rapi-chan... (hugs)
Kurapika: (sweatdrops) Yes, I know, Thirteenth_spider. But I don't have any feelings for you.
TS: Don't worry! I'm the author of this fic and whatever I say goes! Let me just type that into my computer! (computer appears, Thirteenth_spider types rapidly)
Kurapika: (sweatdrops)
TS: There! Now you're hopelessly in-love with me! (computer disappears) Here we go! (snaps fingers)
Kurapika: (hearts for eyes) Oh, lovely princess! I will bring you the stars and the moon, just say I word and I'll do it! I'll do anything for you! Everything you want me to!
TS: (sweatdrops) A bit too obsessed and sappy... (smirks) But it doesn't matter, right? (standard fox-girl laugh) Ohohoho!!!
Kuroro: (whimpers) What about me?! I still want to be a Sailor Senshi.
TS: Aww! Alright already! Sheesh! (snaps fingers, Kuroro turns into a Sailor Senshi) There's happy now?
Kuroro: Yey! Yey! I'm a Sailor Senshi!
Kurapika: No fair! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi too!
Leorio: Me three!
Gon: Me four!
Killua: Me five!
Hysoka: Me six!
Irumi: Me seven!
TS: Aww! Alright! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi too, dammit! (snaps fingers, they all become Sailor Senshis)
0o0
End: This is the end, I swear! The last one!
(All eight were standing on a wall, posed like Sailor Senshis)
Kuroro: Alright... Let's go! Moon Cosmic Power!
Kurapika: Mercury Star Power!
Irumi: Mars Star Power!
Hysoka: Venus Star Power!
Leorio: Jupiter Star Power!
Gon: Moon Prism Power!
TS: Saturn Planet Power!
All: Make-up! (All transform into Sailor Senshis... please have mercy and don't imagine the naked transformation sequences...)
Kuroro: I am the Sailor Suited Soldier of love and justice, Sailor Moon! I shall punish you, in the name of the moon!
(Sailor Moon Music: Moonlight Densetsu blasts into the scene)
The End... finally... Stupid, isn't it?
(June 13, 2003... Friday the Thirteenth... the perfect night to commit suicide because of all the stupidity caused.)
Self-criticisms! As if the stupidity in this fic wasn't enough...
Hmm... maybe I overdid the aftermath and ending part. But, mou! I was getting jealous, okay! Okay, not only did I overdo the jealousy part, but I also overdid the stupidity! Well, you'd probably end up stupid too if you stayed up late until eleven just to finish this fic!
I have no more comments on this fic except that it's really stupid, and that some of my jokes were a bit green.
Author's notes: I can't help thinking stupid thoughts while writing this. Basically because I'm not really into writing serious shounen-ai. So...
Paranoia Bloopers!
Blooper 1: Leorio and Kurapika
Leorio: Kurapika! Get a hold of yourself! Kurapika!
Kurapika: (quickly sits up) Leorio! You're disgusting!
Leorio: Hey! Aren't you supposed to be in a coma?
Kurapika: Not when you're spitting all over me, you idiot! And your breath stinks too!
Leorio: My breath stinks? Well, I guess it's because of the garlic bread I ate.
Kurapika: Your disgusting! (slaps Leorio and leaves)
0o0
Blooper 2: Leorio and Kurapika, again.
Leorio: Kurapika! Get a hold of yourself! Kurapika!
Kurapika: (quickly sits up) You PERVERT!!!
Leorio: Why what were you thinking, anyway?
Kurapika: (blushes) Nothing... nothing...
0o0
Blooper 3: Gon and Kurapika
Gon: (comes running into the room) KURAPIKA!!! Oops! (trips and falls over Kurapika) Sorry, Kurapika.
Kurapika: ouch...
0o0
Blooper 4: Leorio and Senritsu
Leorio: (grave face) Senritsu...
Senritsu: I chan hir... hish hartbesht...
Leorio: What?
Senritsu: Hish hartbesht...
Leorio: WHAT?!
Senritsu: Damn... (takes off her buckteeth) His heartbeat, you fool! His heartbeat!
Leorio: Waaahhhh!!! The midget's so mean! (runs away crying)
Senritsu: (shakes fist) And don't you dare come back, you buffoon!
0o0
Blooper 5: Kurapika and Kuroro
Kurapika: (walking away)
Kuroro: It's tough isn't it? When... when... what was it again? (takes out script) Oh, here it is!
Kurapika: (sweatdrops)
Kuroro: Ehem... It's tough isn't it? When everybody wants you to be perfect. But what's the use anyway? Why study when the most in... ingo... ingoranet... (blinks eyes) What is this word? Ingorant?
Kurapika: (vein pop) It's ignorant, you fool! Ignorant!
Kuroro: It's such a hard word... Why do I have to speak hard words?
Kurapika: Because you're supposed to talk that way!
Kuroro: (whines) But I don't wanna speak hard words. I wanna be a fairy princess... or a Sailor Senshi... Why can't I be a Sailor Senshi? Wear short skirts... have cute attack names...
Kurapika: ARGH! I can't work like this!!! Hey, Thirteenth_Spider! Come here!
TS: Yep! What is it?
Kurapika: Why do I have to work with this... SPIDER!
TS: Well, it's the whole plot of this story.
Kurapika: But he's an idiot! Why aren't I paired with Leorio or with Killua?! Or maybe even Hysoka?! Why HIM?!
TS: Because I want to... (smirks)
Kurapika: I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS!!! I'm going to my dressing room! (leaves)
Kuroro: (cries) WAAAHHHH!!! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi!
TS: (groans) Wait a minute... does Kurapika have a dressing room? I don't remember providing him with one... (smirks)
0o0
Blooper 6: Voices in the Darkness
Voices: Isn't it great to be in love? Such a warm and fuzzy feeling enveloping you all over! Were his kisses warm and gentle? Or were they hot and passionate?
Kurapika: (blushes) Well... actually... he doesn't kiss me.
Voices: What? But- but-
Kurapika: He goes right on to what happens next, the good stuff. He's a Scorpio, y'know. (hearts for eyes) He'd take me in his arms and...
TS: CUT!!! CUT!!! This is not an NC-17 fic!
Kurapika: It's not?
TS: Yes!
Kurapika: Damn, I was looking forward too...
TS: (thwacks Kurapika) SHUT UP!!! (cries) Oh... my poor innocent mind!
0o0
Blooper 7: Voices in the Darkness
Voices: Don't know you? Oh... you're wrong, Kurapika. We do know you, much more than you know yourself. Much, much more... Your birthday is in April 4, an Aries, blood type AB...
Kurapika: How did you know that?
Voices: We're a member of your fan club!
Kurapika: Really? So, do you have a lock of my hair given to each member of the club?
Voices: Yes we do! We even have a picture of you before the fan club started! (shows picture of Kurapika with long hair)
TS: Hey, cool! (rushes in the scene and looks at the pic) Kurapika, you look good with long hair! What happened?
Kurapika: The fan club happened. I didn't expect to have that many fans.
TS: Oh! Can I join the club too?
Kurapika: Sure! Just let me get some scissors and I'll get you a lock of my hair.
TS: No need. (takes out a large scythe) I'll use this instead!
Kurapika: (sweatdrops) Uhmm... Thirteenth_spider, I think that's a bit too much.
TS: No way! I'll get your hair with this... along with your head! Nyahahaha! Kuruta eyes are much more expensive with the head intact! Nyahahahaha!
Kurapika: (runs for his life) YAAAHHHH!!!
TS: (chases after him, swinging her scythe around) Nyahahahahaha!!!
0o0
Blooper 8: Kuroro and The Spider
Kuroro: (looks around him) Who are you?
Spider: I am the Spider
Kuroro: Oh! Hi Spider! I'm Kuroro!
Spider: Hi Kuroro!
Kuroro: Hey, do you like the role they gave to you?
Spider: (whines) Noo! I wanted to be a Powerpuff Girl! I don't wanna be some voice in the darkness!
Kuroro: Yeah! I wanted to be a Sailor Senshi but the authoress won't let me!
Spider: Isn't she the meanest?!
Kuroro: I don't like her! (sticks tongue out)
TS: Hey! I'm here you know?!
Spider and Kuroro: Oops!
TS: Grrrr....
Spider and Kuroro: Run for it!!! (runs, although I don't know how a voice in the shadows could run...)
0o0
Blooper 9: Kuroro and the Shadows
Shadows: (dancing around) Okashira... Okashira... (forms into four men, a muscular one, a fat one, a short one and a masked one)
Kuroro: Beshimi... Shikijo... Hyotoko... Hanya...
TS: (runs and hugs Hanya) Hanya-san!!!
Killua: (whispers to Leorio) I didn't know our authoress has a thing for ugly masked men.
TS: I heard that! And for your information, I do not have that kind of feelings for Hanya... I just think he's the best member of the Oniwabanshuu ever! (faces Hanya) Ne, Hanya, why are you guys here?
Hanya: Huh? Isn't this the scene where we haunt Aoshi Shinomori?
TS: No! This is Hunter x Hunter!
Hanya: Oh! (calls out to his comrades) Come on, guys! We're in the wrong studio! (disappears)
Shikijo: Again! Last time we were in the set of Yuu Yuu Hakusho! (disappears)
Beshimi and Hyotoko: (disappears)
Kuroro: (whines, again) I wanna be a Sailor Senshi!
TS: Oh, SHUT UP! (whacks Kuroro)
0o0
Blooper 10: Shadow Dance
The shadows danced faster... faster...
Shadow 1: (bumps into Shadow 2)
Shadow 2: Ouch! (bumps into Shadow 3)
Shadow 3: Hey! Watch where you're going!
Shadow 4: (steps on Shadow 1's foot)
Shadow 1: Hey! That hurt, twinkle toes!
Shadow 2: Look who's talking! You're the one who bumped into me!
Shadow 1: I wouldn't have bumped into you if you weren't in my way!
Shadow 2: WHAT?!
Shadow 1: So you wanna fight, huh?!
Shadow 2: Yeah!
Shadow 3: Well, you're going to have to fight with me too, Shadow 2! You bumped into me!
Shadow 4: And Shadow 1's also going to have to face me!
Shadows: (start beating each other up)
....and then slower... slower...
Shadow 1: (walks in a disoriented way and faints)
Shadow 2: (faints)
Shadow 3: (blows on Shadow 4's face)
Shadow 4: (tumbles down)
Shadow 3: (peace sign) Victory! (faints)
TS: (groans) Where can I find talented shadow dancers now that my dancers are out of commission?! (hits head on the wall)
0o0
Blooper 11: THE KISS!!! Yeah, baby! Yeah!
Kuroro closed his eyes to keep his tears from falling. I love you, Kuroro... he heard her whisper. He felt her lips brush against his. He placed his hand on top of hers and opened his eyes... but instead of Pakunoda... he saw...
Kuroro: Hysoka?!
Hysoka: Yo! (peace sign)
Kuroro: (spits) Pwe! Pwe!
TS: Hysoka?! You're not in this fic!
Hysoka: (places hand on hips) SoOoOo?
Kuroro: (barfing)
TS: (looks at Kuroro) I almost feel sorry for the guy-
Hysoka: Oh, really?
TS: NAH! (pats Hysoka on the back) Nice job, Hysoka! NOW, GIT!!! (kicks Hysoka out of the fic)
Hysoka: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again! (disappears)
0o0
Blooper 12: Kuruta Village
Kuroro: Are you sure it's alright? The people are avoiding me like a plague.
Kurapika: (smiles sweetly) It's okay. Our tribe is just suspicious of outsiders. I'm sure they'll welcome you warmly once they get to know you.
Kuroro: (shadow) Oh, is that so...
Kurapika: (concern) What's wrong Kuroro?
Kuroro: (stops) I have to go to the bathroom! (whimpers) Kurapika: (sweatdrops) Thirteenth_spider! Kuroro's being stupid again! (runs to find the authoress)
0o0
Blooper 13: Go Chain Jail! Go!
He stopped, confused. He shook his head. Why the hell am I stopping? I should attack him now! Attack him before he gets me! But he just stood there, numb. For some weird reason, he can't seem to get the chain jail to shoot out from his hand.
Kurapika: What the?! Go, chain jail! (raises hand... nothing happened) Oh, shit! Go chain jail! (puts hand in a thumbs up position, still nothing.) Fly chain jail! (waves hand, still nothing!) Fly! (wiggles finger with chain jail, still nothing.) Awww! Dammit! (puts hand in a patented Spiderman position, web shoots from his hand) Hey cool!
Kuroro: Ewww!!! It's a web! It's so sticky-icky!
Kurapika: Shut up! Yeah! I'm Spiderman! (shoots web and starts swinging around)
Change of scenery... On top of a tall building, Kurapika is squatting on a thin flagpole.
Kurapika: Who am I? (pause for added effect) I'm Spiderman.
TS: (drops a can of beer ) God, I gotta stop drinking.
0o0
Blooper 14: Punch line
Kurapika: (punches Kuroro) Owww!!! (looks at swelling fist)
Kuroro: Hehehe...
Kurapika: My hand! My beautiful, soft and silky hand! How dare you!
Kuroro: Bwahahahaha!!!
Kurapika: Ugh! (gets some lotion) It's going to take a lot of moisturizing to get this hand back in shape! Oh, my beautiful hand...
TS: (in the background, looks at Kurapika weirdly) Dammit, I feel like such a fag...
0o0
Behind the Scenes: Hands, Face and Mind...
Kuroro: (whimpering, feeling the hard bumps on his cheek) Thirteenth_spider, look what the Kuruta did to my beautiful face! How am I supposed to be Sailor Senshi now with such a bruise-covered face? And I'm missing some teeth too!
TS: Oh, shut up and quit your whimpering lest I yank out more of your teeth from your beautiful... I think I'm gonna spew... face!
Kuroro: (sticks tongue out) Meanie! (sobs) My face... he destroyed my beautiful face...
Kurapika: (whimpering) My hand... my poor soft and silky hand...
TS: (shakes head in disbelief) My mind... my poor innocent and battered mind...
0o0
Blooper 15: Soft Blonde Hair
Kurapika: (crying) Leorio... Leorio...
Leorio: Are you alright, Kurapika? (runs hand through Kurapika's soft blonde hair) God, Kurapika! You're hair... it's so... so...
Kurapika: (wipes tears) So what?
Leorio: It's so soft!
Kurapika: (sits up) Of course! I use "Gee, Your Terrific Hair Smells" shampoo and conditioner everyday!
Leorio: (bends over to smell Kurapika's hair)Pechie-bye-golly Gee! You're right! You're terrific hair does smell! I'm going to use that shampoo too! But... I don't have enough money.
Kurapika: Not to worry, Leorio! "Gee, Your Terrific Hair Smells" Shampoo is also sold in sachet packs, which only cost 2 jenis per sachet!
Leorio: Wow! That's amazing! I'm going to buy some, right now!
Kurapika: Don't forget to buy "Gee, Your Terrific Hair Smells" for armpit hair and you-know-where hair too!
Leorio: Of course I won't! Now let's hurry into the nearest store before they run out of these wonderful products! (leaves)
Kurapika: Hey, wait for me! (runs after Leorio)
TS: Uhmm... guys? This wasn't supposed to be a shampoo commercial... Guys?
0o0
Blooper 16: Jealous of the one who finally found you...
Leorio and Kurapika: (sitting in the bed... K-I-S-S-I-N-G!)
TS: YADDDAAA!!! (pushes Leorio aside) Get off him, you freak!
Leorio: (falls off the bed) Ow! What the hell did you do that for?!
Kurapika: Uhmm... Thirteenth_spider, that kiss was in the script. You wrote it yourself, right?
TS: (blushes) Yes... demooooo...
Kura & Leo: What?
TS: Argh! Never mind! (storms out the room)
Leorio: What's wrong with her?
Kurapika: (shrugs)
0o0
Aftermath: More Jealousy and Sailor Senshis!!!
Kurapika: Mou! I just can't decide.
Kuroro: Kurapika, you know your heart yearns for me...
Leorio: Shut-up freak! Kurapika loves me!
Kurapika: Mou! I just don't know!
Leorio: Pick me, Kurapika! Pick me!
Kuroro: No, me! This monkey doesn't deserve you!
Leorio: MONKEY?!!! (evil glare)
Kuroro: (returns evil glare)
Leorio and Kuroro: (beat each other up)
Killua: Hey, Kurapika, what about me? What about the times we shared together?
Kurapika: (blushes) Oh, my!
Hysoka: Kurapika... my fresh fruit...
Kurapika: (blushes harder)
Killua: Hey, who are you calling fresh fruit, freakazoid?!
Hysoka: Hmmm... you're just jealous!
Killua: That's it! I don't care if you're stronger than me! This means war!
Hysoka and Killua: (beat each other up)
Kurapika: (blushy-blush-blush) Boys, boys, please don't fight over me.
TS: DAMEEEE!!!
Everybody: (stops fighting and stares)
TS: (grabs Kurapika) Kurapika's mine!
Everybody: (in shock)
Killua: Hey!
TS: (snaps fingers, Gon suddenly appears)
Gon: Huh? Where am I? (spots Killua) Killua!
Killua: Gon! (runs to give Gon a hug)
Hysoka: You may have bested the shrimp, but can you beat me?
TS: (snaps fingers and Irumi suddenly appears)
Hysoka: Irumi-chan!
Irumi: (shakes head) Oh, no... (runs)
Hysoka: Irumi-chan! (chases after Irumi)
Leorio: Hey, cool! Can you make a lot of sexy chicks who are hopelessly in- love with me appear?
TS: Sure! (snaps fingers and a lot of chicks appear)
Chicken 1: (told you they were chicks) Look girls, he's a big one! (points at Leorio)
Chicken 2: And he's so handsome! (hearts for eyes)
Chicken 3: Ahhh... Leorio-sama! (swoons!)
Leorio: (sweatdrops) This wasn't what I hoped for...
Chicken 4: Let's get him, girls!
Chickens: Yeah!
Leorio: Waaaahhh!!! (runs)
Chickens: (chases after Leorio... yeah, I know, this came from a Johnny Bravo episode...)
TS: Now there's only you and me, Rapi-chan... (hugs)
Kurapika: (sweatdrops) Yes, I know, Thirteenth_spider. But I don't have any feelings for you.
TS: Don't worry! I'm the author of this fic and whatever I say goes! Let me just type that into my computer! (computer appears, Thirteenth_spider types rapidly)
Kurapika: (sweatdrops)
TS: There! Now you're hopelessly in-love with me! (computer disappears) Here we go! (snaps fingers)
Kurapika: (hearts for eyes) Oh, lovely princess! I will bring you the stars and the moon, just say I word and I'll do it! I'll do anything for you! Everything you want me to!
TS: (sweatdrops) A bit too obsessed and sappy... (smirks) But it doesn't matter, right? (standard fox-girl laugh) Ohohoho!!!
Kuroro: (whimpers) What about me?! I still want to be a Sailor Senshi.
TS: Aww! Alright already! Sheesh! (snaps fingers, Kuroro turns into a Sailor Senshi) There's happy now?
Kuroro: Yey! Yey! I'm a Sailor Senshi!
Kurapika: No fair! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi too!
Leorio: Me three!
Gon: Me four!
Killua: Me five!
Hysoka: Me six!
Irumi: Me seven!
TS: Aww! Alright! I wanna be a Sailor Senshi too, dammit! (snaps fingers, they all become Sailor Senshis)
0o0
End: This is the end, I swear! The last one!
(All eight were standing on a wall, posed like Sailor Senshis)
Kuroro: Alright... Let's go! Moon Cosmic Power!
Kurapika: Mercury Star Power!
Irumi: Mars Star Power!
Hysoka: Venus Star Power!
Leorio: Jupiter Star Power!
Gon: Moon Prism Power!
TS: Saturn Planet Power!
All: Make-up! (All transform into Sailor Senshis... please have mercy and don't imagine the naked transformation sequences...)
Kuroro: I am the Sailor Suited Soldier of love and justice, Sailor Moon! I shall punish you, in the name of the moon!
(Sailor Moon Music: Moonlight Densetsu blasts into the scene)
The End... finally... Stupid, isn't it?
(June 13, 2003... Friday the Thirteenth... the perfect night to commit suicide because of all the stupidity caused.)
Self-criticisms! As if the stupidity in this fic wasn't enough...
Hmm... maybe I overdid the aftermath and ending part. But, mou! I was getting jealous, okay! Okay, not only did I overdo the jealousy part, but I also overdid the stupidity! Well, you'd probably end up stupid too if you stayed up late until eleven just to finish this fic!
I have no more comments on this fic except that it's really stupid, and that some of my jokes were a bit green.