"Pirika?"
The voice penetrated her hearing. She sniffled, then wiped her tears. She then pasted a forced smile on her face. "Onii-chan!"
Horo Horo sat down beside her, looking worried. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"
"Iie."
"But you don't look well." Horo peered at her face. "Did someone hurt my sister?"
When she didn't reply, his jaws tightened. "Tell me what happened. Who did this to you? I swear, I'll make that person pay dearly-"
Pirika threw herself in his arms, crying. "Onii-chan, just hold me…hold me close and don't let me go. Just…just like this."
"Pirika…" The Ainu decided to just do what his sister says for the meantime. He wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to pour her heart out on his chest.
Chapter 6:Wakatte Itahazu (I Should Have Known)
Pirika clapped her hands together. "OK, listen up, you guys. Tomorrow is the big day…all our hard work will culminate in a sixty-minute stage play. Give all your best in those sixty minutes, do you understand?"
Whistles, applauses, and loud "Yeah!" resounded in the auditorium.
Her eyes went sideways and saw Ren sitting by the window, far away from them. He was busy reading the script.
She sighed- she still couldn't get rid of her habit of ogling him. There was just something about Ren Tao that she couldn't get tired of.
She casually shifted her attention back at the cast. "Be here at exactly four in the afternoon, clear?"
Her assistant raised her hand. "Let's head for the restaurant and have an advanced backstage party! A celebration of making our team last in the rehearsals."
"Good idea," she agreed enthusiastically, especially when the school administration decided to treat them to it.
However, she noticed Ren wasn't coming with them. She felt the urge to call him and ask him to join them, but in the end, pride won over her. She wouldn't talk to him even if he was the last person in the world- she would rather die with her oral fluids unused.
One of the propsmen called the Chinese' attention. "Ren Tao, aren't you coming with us?"
He didn't even look back; he merely raised his hand to shake it, saying 'no'.
Pirika could feel some of the people's gazes at her. She couldn't blame them; it had been hardly one week since the incident in the elevator happened. She didn't resign from being a director because she realized that she must be responsible enough to carry out the project no matter what. However, it goes without saying that her working relationship with Thumberena had deteriorated. They hardly talk to each other, which was fine by her. She didn't know what she would say to him anyway if he approaches her,
"Let's go," she said to her group mates, resisting the urge to look back at the figure walking away.
Ren sighed. It had been five days since he and Pirika started to avoid each other deliberately. He placed his hands into the pocket of his pants. He wished that he could muster the guts to approach her, for he had a lot to tell her. But the fangs he could bare in his battles would turn into baby teeth everytime he sees her.
Bason appeared beside him. "Master Ren, you mustn't worry too much. You'll do fine tomorrow."
"Of course," he said lamely.
"Please keep your spirits up, Master. I'm sure that you and Miss Pirika can talk this through," said the power spirit cheerfully.
Ren turned to him, annoyed. "I am NOT thinking of her, dammit!"
Bason scratched his head with his finger. "But then, your thoughts-"
"Don't read my thoughts! It's private!" The Tao exhaled sharply and hastened his pace.
"Master Ren, forgive me! I won't ever do it again!" said the spirit, trailing after him. "It's just that I only want to see you happy, and when you're with her, you're happier than you usually are!"
"You're imagining things."
"Hontou?"
"Real-ly." Ren gave him a brief glance. "And when this play ends, I'm outta here!"
"You're transferring?"
"I'm going back to doing what I really love: training." Ren looked up at the sky. "I have yielded to my sister's caprices long enough."
"But didn't you say a week ago that you were getting used to being a regular student?" The spirit sighed. "Ever since that elevator incident-"
Ren froze. "D-Don't tell me you were there with me inside the elevator?"
"Where else could I be except by my master's side?" smirked Bason.
The Chinese shaman was shocked. In the entire five days, the power spirit hadn't brought it up. He then thought that Bason was out drinking with Mosuke and Amidamaru. Damn, why didn't he even sense the presence of his trusty guardian? Was he that lost in her sweetness?
And just like old lovers, the memory of kissing the Ainu woman reunited with his mind. Her softness in his arms, her scent, her lips.
"I thought you and Miss Pirika does that thing all the time so I didn't ask anymore," explained his spirit, rubbing his cheek. "Like for instance, right now, you're thinking of her again."
"I said, do NOT read my thoughts!" The rope of his temper was near its breaking point.
"That night some years ago, you never forgot her confession. And somewhere deep down your heart, you never let go of her."
"Stop it!"
"Gomen, Master Ren, but a true Tao never runs away from his battles…and he confronts his fears head on. You are the clan head, so you must know these things."
"I am not running away from anything and I fear nothing."
"Iie." Bason's voice became firm. "You are running away from the fact that you fear how your whole being changes when you're with her. You're not comfortable with the idea that you lose control of yourself when you're with her."
Ren was silenced.
"Think it over tonight, Master. Just be true to what you feel, then it will be alright." Bason smiled. "It's alright to change, to lose control, to not know; as long as you feel that it is because of true love."
"Nee-san?"
Jun looked up from her embroidery. Ren was standing outside her door awkwardly, holding two cans of sterilized milk. She smiled when he threw her one of the cans.
"May I stay here?" he asked as he sat down beside her. "I want to get drunk."
"With milk?"
"Of course."
"Why would you want to get drunk?" She looked at her little brother, who didn't mature much since the last time he asked if he could stay beside her eleven years ago.
"Bason is driving me nuts."
"You can always handle him."
"Not tonight. My nerves are uncooperative."
Jun clapped her hands. "You're excited about tomorrow, aren't you?"
He played with the can of milk quietly, wondering whether he should bring up what Bason kept on telling him.
Jun paused. "No, it's not it. Getting drunk is not about Bason or the play." She shook her head smilingly. "Men with face like yours get drunk for only two reasons- because he is in love, and because he is out of love. Which one?"
"I don't know," he found himself saying. "Bason says I'm in love."
"And you believe him?"
"Yes-er, no."
"Good, because the only one you have to believe in is yourself." Jun touched his hand. "And what does yourself says about it?"
"I like…I like kissing her." He looked at his can thoughtfully. "I like seeing her. I like talking to her. I like the feeling she gives me when I hold her close, like when we were practicing the ballroom scene of the play. I like thinking of her. I like seeing her mad, because she can be really cute when her eye blaze and her cheeks turn faintly crimson. But when she smiles, her eyes twinkling and her lips curved beautifully, I sometimes wonder whether I like her best happy or angry. I like how she makes me fell both like a boy and a man. I like remembering over and over how she told me she loved me once upon a time."
"In a nutshell, you're crazy about her," said Jun. "That is so easy to deduce. What is so hard about admitting that you feel that way about her?"
He shook his head. "Because it's so much easier to hate a person than to love someone with all your heart and soul, with force enough to move the skies and the seas. It's scary…one minute I find it delightful to irritate her, and the next minute, I was kissing her passionately, then later, I'll discover how hard it is to live without glancing at her every other minute to check on her, or to feel that protective instinct when someone tries to get close to her, or when I have to exhaust all my self-control not to grab her and kiss her again." He smiled sadly. "I didn't know how much she had meant to me until now, and it hurts…even much more than all the pains Father gives me in our trainings. Those wounds heal, but not this hollow ache I feel."
Jun understood. Her brother wasn't used to the notion of loving, for he was reared in the ways of battles. No wonder he's so unsure about his feelings.
Ren held his can of milk up. "Toast!"
Jun laughed, and clicked cans with him. "To my neurotic brother who took him four long years to realize that he loved the young Ainu girl too. May the other men his age be not like him."
"Cheers!" he smiled bitterly.
It was the day of the play, and Ren was stunned to see that none of the cast was there yet, not even Pirika.
He was starting to get a very bad feeling about this.
Their English class teacher looked worried too. "Where are they? It's already five! The play will start at 5:30!"
Just then, Horo Horo burst into the backstage. "Teacher, teacher! Where is the English teach-" He froze when he saw a familiar looking face dressed in a frilly gown, hair tied with ribbons. Even in the girly get-up he could recognize the aura the person emits.
"Ren Tao?!!!!" Horo Horo quickly came to him, and Ren knew that it was too late to hide. "Gah, don't tell me you're Goldilocks!" He barely finished his sentence when he broke into boisterous laughter.
"Goddamit! Don't you make fun of me!!!" He grabbed a broomstick and aimed it at the still laughing Ainu.
Just then, the teacher appeared. "Is someone looking for me?"
Ren glared at the shaman. "The sensei is here already."
Wiping a tear from his eye, Horo turned to the teacher. "Sensei, we have a problem. It's Pirika and the others. See, they went out to eat in a restaurant, but it ended up that the food served there was stale. So they were all victimized by food poisoning and they're all in bed now because they keep on vomiting and going to the bathroom…you have to reschedule the play!"
The teacher looked frantic. "But we cannot reschedule it anymore! The exhibition is one day only!"
The Ainu's face fell. "But my sister will be heartbroken!"
The woman looked like she was ready to wage World War III. "I'll talk to the manager of the restaurant, and I swear, I'll sue them even to the highest court!"
Ren clenched his fists. He personally witnessed how hard Pirika worked on this play, and he wouldn't let anything put her efforts to vain.
He turned to Horo. "Are Yoh and the others already there?"
"Yeah, they're in the audience."
"Call them now so we can show them the script."
Horo was stunned.
Ren smiled. "The show must go on, as your sister always says."
tsuzuku