Author's Note:  Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed!  They mean a lot to me.  I don't have much to say, except that definitely after this chapter, the rating for this story will be moved up to R.  That's all, and I hope you enjoy!

*Chapter Two*

Michaelangelo:

            I woke to soft thumping sounds coming from somewhere in the lair.  I wasn't quite sure exactly where they were coming from, but I had a pretty good idea.  It wasn't the first time I'd heard Leonardo at one in the morning, even though he wasn't particularly loud.  I'd never been really interested.   I tried to avoid that room at all costs, except during practice time.  Leo would probably eat and sleep in there if Splinter would let him.  He probably couldn't sleep either, and instead of wasting time lying in bed, waiting for sleep to come to him, he had just decided to go off to the dojo and get in extra practice.  Most likely, there was some challenging part in some kata he was working on, and he wanted to get it perfect for tomorrow to hear Splinter's praise.  But I couldn't help but wonder what he did in there, at night, and this time, my curiosity got the better of me.  I knew I wasn't going to be getting back to sleep anyway.  At least not in the near future. 

            I slipped out of bed and made for the bedroom door.  As my feet made contact with the floor for the first time, I had to pull my them up at the sudden coldness of the hard floor beneath.  They were still used to the warmth of the bed covers.  I shivered, and my breath formed little clouds in front of me as I walked into the living room.  It was always cold down here at night, regardless of the outside temperature.  Hell, it was the underground sewer system after all.  It was cold pretty much all the time, except for during the summer.  Donny hadn't figured out yet how to get a heating system in this place.  But I had learned to be grateful for what I had.  My stomach let out a low growl, and I decided to go into the kitchen to grab a bit to eat before heading over to the dojo to spy on him. 

            I stopped briefly in the doorway to the kitchen, taking in everything.  At first, the place seemed quiet, but as I stood there, kitchen sounds gradually came to my attention.  The refrigerator hummed gently, and it seemed to be holding a rhythm with the soft tick of the clock which hung above it.  I moved over the smooth tiled floor to the fridge and opened the door.  I was almost blinded by the sudden intensity of the bright, white light.  Squinting my eyes, I scanned the shelves, looking for something to eat.  All I could find was some left over pizza from dinner, topped with extra cheese and vegetables.  That had been Leo's.  He always requested veggies on his pizza.  I grimaced, and I closed the door, not feeling very hungry anymore.  I decided to get a drink instead.  I opened one of the kitchen cabinets and grabbed a glass.  I turned on the faucet and filled it to the top.  The water hissed, angry that I had disturbed it.  I gave the faucet a mock glare as I drained the water, and when I was done, I tossed it onto the ever growing stack of dirty ones near the sink.

            I walked out of the kitchen and looked around the living room briefly before going to spy on Leo.  The living room furniture appeared foreign in the darkness.  I smiled as I childhood memories flashed across my mind  I had always been the most afraid of the dark when I was little, expecting the boogie man to jump up from behind the furniture and eat me.  I was teased to no end about this, especially by Raphael.  He'd never miss the opportunity to jump up from behind something and scream.  He scared me every time, and Splinter always punished him for it.  But he continued to do it, until we were too old to do that sort of thing.  Sometimes though, he'll still do it when I'm least expecting it, to see if it still gives me a scare.  Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't.  I never did get my revenge for all the childhood pranks he pulled on me, but he sure got his fair share of punishments for Splinter.  I laughed inwardly.  Raph always seemed to get punished so much more than the rest of us.

            I continued on my way to the dojo, and when I arrived, I pushed open the door silently, knowing I'd get a scolding if I disturbed him.  Surprise flew across my features as I realized who was there.  It wasn't Leonardo, the one I was expecting to see.  He never missed the opportunity to do extra practice.  But this wasn't our "ginsu master," our "fearless leader."  It was Raphael. 

            I watched him silently, not sure if he knew I was there.  He didn't acknowledge my presence, but I figured he had to know.  I leaned sideways against the doorframe, arms crossed over my plastron and studied his slow, fluid movements.  He moved from one position to the next, eyes closed, not missing a beat.  I couldn't help but feel a little shocked.  He was good.  Really good.  I'd never seen him execute his movements so... perfectly.  It was flawless.  And he was doing advanced katas, more intense than anything he ever did during practice.  Splinter never allowed him to do them, because he was never able to do the basic ones correctly.   Or at least, we never thought he could do the basic ones.  So how did he learn to do these in the first place?

            Observation.  Purely through observation.  There could be no other way.  I was amazed.  He'd never been taught to do this, he'd picked it up just by watching Leo.  And he did look like Leo.  Maybe he was even better than Leo.  He looked so relaxed, although I could feel his energy from across the room.  He wasn't operating in his usual half-assed, fast food manner that always drove sensei, not to mention Leo, absolutely crazy. 

            I couldn't help but smile.  I always knew he had it in him.  He wasn't as stupid and incapable as he acted.  He was just stubborn as all hell.  He wouldn't give them the satisfaction of obeying them, and taking them seriously.  I kinda wished that I could record this, just to see the astonished looks on the faces of Leonardo and Splinter.  Leo would really flip out.  With all the fighting he did with Raph... 

            Raphael froze in place and I knew he was done.  I considered ducking back around the corner before he turned around and saw me.  He wouldn't like that I was spying on him.  I was still trying to judge his reaction to my presence when his voice cut through the silence.

            "You don't have to leave," he informed as he turned and stared straight at me.  I tensed.  "I knew you were there."

            I watched him for a moment, trying to determine if he was setting me up.  I didn't want to be the target of one of his infamous outbursts.  He relaxed his stance and grabbed a towel off the floor.  He wiped away the beads of sweat on his forehead.

            "I wasn't sure if you saw me," I mumbled, cautious.  "Figured you would've stopped."

            He grinned slyly at me.  "Why'd you figure that?"

            I stared at him for a moment.  "Well with all the effort you go through to make everyone believe that you haven't got a clue, I didn't figure you'd want me to know that you can actually do  those katas," I smiled.

            He didn't reply.  I watched as he headed over to the far wall and retrieved a bottle of water.  He drained it and let it fall to the mat again.  It landed with a soft, hollow thud.  The towel dropped beside it.

            "Couldn't sleep either?" he inquired.  I shook my head.  I was still slightly shocked by what I had seen.   And I wasn't totally sure what kind of reaction to expect from him.  I'd figured he'd be annoyed that I was here, but he wasn't.  Instead, he was smiling.

            "Pretty impressive, huh?" he asked, a touch of pride in his tone.  He approached me silently and leaned against the nearby wall, staring at nothing in particular in the empty, suddenly silent room.

            "Hey, Raph?"

            "Mmm?"

                "How come...?" I started.  I hesitated.  I wasn't exactly sure how to word this.  He turned and looked at me expectantly.  "How come you never do that for Splinter, or Leo? " I finally asked.  "I mean, you bitch about how they're always on your case... but if you just did that for them..."  He stared at me, and said nothing.  There was no reaction.  Was he waiting for more of an explanation?  "Why don't you just give them what they want?"

            He sighed and looked away.  "I mean, geez Raph.  It would be different if you couldn't do it, like they think.  But if you can, why do you fight with them?"

            There was a moment of silence.  Then his eyes met mine again.  "It's not that simple, Mikey," he sighed.

            "Why not?"

            He was quiet for a minute.  "What would happen if I did, Mikey?" he questioned.  "What do you think?"

            I wasn't sure how to answer that.  It sounded like it might be a rhetorical question.  "I dunno, Raph," I admitted.  "But at least it'd get them off your case."

            "No, Mike, it wouldn't."

            I studied him carefully.  I could tell he'd thought long and hard about this.  His eyes were deep and sad.  "Why not?" I asked.

            "Because they'll never be satisfied," he mumbled.  "Why am I gonna kill myself trying to be perfect when it doesn't make a damn bit of difference?"

            I didn't have an answer for that.  I wasn't entirely sure I agreed with him, but I let him continue.  He sighed.  "Mike, we all have images to keep up, you know?"

            I didn't answer right away.  I understood what he was saying, but I didn't understand what he was getting at.  "You know, I was always under the impression that you didn't like the whole image that they put on you."

            "No, I don't like it," he agreed.  "But I can't change it.  I'm an asshole, jerk, psycho, angry, irresponsible, hotheaded, stubborn…"

            "Yeah, yeah," I cut him off.  He could go on forever.  I'd heard it all.

            "You know me, Mike.  You know the image.  And we all have them.  Don's gotta be the genius, you've gotta be the goof off, and Leo's gotta be the perfect son.  He's gotta be the leader, the best at everything."  He paused.  "You realize what would happened if I was better than him at something?  Do you realize what would happen if I did good katas and exercises during practice?"

            I opened my mouth to say something, but he held up a hand to stop me.  "It's not fair, and I don't like it.  But we're all shoved into boxes with categories, whether we're aware of it or not.   And if any of us step out of that box, you know it'll cause problems."

            I considered that for a few minutes.  He looked up and our eyes met.  "I know you understand this, Mike," he sighed.  "I mean, what's happened when you've said something, anything, that makes you sound like you have a brain?  Or when you haven't told too many jokes in one day, huh?  What's happened?"

            I cut my gaze to the floor.  I didn't need to answer that, or he wouldn't have asked it in the first place.  "I'm not allowed to change, Michaelangelo.  And neither are you.  And you know it."

            I nodded, but said nothing.  There wasn't anything for me to say.  He'd made his point, as painful as it was.  I half-expected him to leave now, but he didn't.  We were silent again, but it wasn't really a total silence.  Raph and I spoke so much to each other without words, that there wasn't a need for the emptiness to be filled with talk all the time.  So the silence was comforting, and it was almost better to have that than a real conversation.  Besides, he'd given me a lot to think about.

            After a few minutes, he moved back over to the corner where he had dropped the empty water bottle and towel.  He picked them both up and slung the towel over his shoulder.  A moment later, he walked back to the door, passing me.  He stopped halfway through the living room, as if he'd forgotten something, and turned back to me.

            "Hey Mike, uh…" he began, his voice filled with uncertainty.  "I can trust you not to say anything about this, right?"

                I stared at him for a moment, surprised.  "Why?"

            "Just don't," he pleaded. "Don't tell anyone about this.  Please?  Especially Leo."

            I smiled faintly.  "No problem, Raph," I answered.

            "Thanks."

            "Although it could be some good blackmail, couldn't it?" I grinned, acting as if I were deep in thought.

            I barely caught the towel that almost hit me in the face.

Splinter:

            The room was quiet and peaceful, but I felt as if a war was waging in my soul.  I could not lessen the concern that consumed me.  My thoughts were drawn to my son, and they stalled there, unable to focus on anything else.  He rarely spoke to me about anything anymore.  There was a time when he would trust me.  But now, he trusted no one.  He had closed himself off from the world.  I had never pressured him, but I was recently concerned.  Something was distinctly different about him.  He was even more distant from us, and spending more and more time away from home.  Distracted and distant, he offered no effort to his practices.  His sloppy, nonchalant attitude had earned a great deal of conflict between him and Leonardo.  I did not dispute with him, though I, too, was disturbed by the excessive amounts of time he spent away from home. 

            The candlelight flickered over the pages of the book, but I was not concentrating.  I heard the front door open and looked up to see a dark shadow outlined in the doorway.  He turned, and froze in his tracks as he saw me.  I beckoned to him.

            "Come and sit beside me, my son."

            He did not move immediately, but before I had a chance to ask again, he had moved quite reluctantly and hesitantly to my side.

            "What have I done wrong this time?" he demanded.

            Normally I would not accept such tones of disrespect, but tonight, I chose to ignore it.  Now was not the time to lecture him on how he should behave if I expected to get anything out of him.        "Well?" he pressed.  I could tell that my brief moment of silence was beginning to irritate him.

            I did not want to begin with an accusation.  I knew that if he felt he must defend himself, he would simply remain silent.  I wanted to speak with him, not to lecture, as he was expecting.

            "Are you all right, my son?" I inquired.    "Fine," he answered simply.  He stopped and stared at me.  There was a moment of tense silence.  "That all?"

            I wasn't about to let him go.  "There is nothing troubling you?" I tried asking it another way.

            "I said I'm fine," he repeated, an edge to his tone.  "Nothing's wrong with me.  Can I go now?"

            I sighed.  "If there is anything you feel you have to tell me my son, please tell me now."

            He turned his head and let out a low growl.  "How many times do I have to tell you I'm fine?" he shot.  "You want me to say it in fifty languages?"

            That was enough.  I tensed, fur bristling at his tone.  Well able to control my anger, I only glared at him.  He sighed deeply and hung his head.  "I'm sorry, sensei," he whispered.  "But really, I'm fine.  Can I go to bed now?  Please?"

            I felt greatly disappointed.  I knew that I could not force him to talk, but I had hoped that he would reveal where he had been these past few nights.  It was obvious that he was going somewhere, to escape.  And he did not return encased in the smell of alcohol.  He was spending his time elsewhere, but he would not speak of it.     "Master?" he asked, standing to his feet.

            I relented.  "Yes, Raphael.  You may go."

            He moved silently toward his bedroom.  "Raphael?"  He turned, and did not move.  For a moment I thought he would return my call with a smart remark, but he did not.  He waited, although I could feel his impatience.  "I would like you to treat me as you would a friend.  I would like you to talk to me."

            He stood there for a few moments, as if he were storing away my words.  Then he turned and continued on the journey to his room.  I sighed, releasing my disappointment.  I had not expected answers from him, but I still had held a flicker of hope.  Even now, that hope was not extinguished.  If something was drastically wrong, he still might come to me for help and guidance.

            With another sigh, I opened my book and continued to read as I waited for sleep to find me.