Well, here's my first piece for FFXV, a comedic one. As I was playing and noticed the different regions in the game and watching a video about the weather in the American South, I thought, "Hmm, wonder if I can do a parody piece?" And here is it. And I'll be basing this more on the "Dawn of the Future Timeline", minus the crystal getting destroyed.

So, as usual for the disclaimer, nothing is owned, not even the idea as it came from the channel It's a Southern Thing. On with the story.

Update: Due to more ideas, I plan on making a trilogy from this with this one being the most humorous. But it'll set the foundation for the other two stories.

-miano53

Chronicles of Eos: When Summer Never Ends

September 16th, 768 M.E., Crown City of Insomnia, Citadel's throne room…

A few years after the end of Endless Night, the Kingdom of Lucis found themselves in what seemed to be the "Endless Summer". Across the continent, the temperature exceeded expectations and had been for the past four months. Ninety-three degrees Fahrenheit, or 33.9 degrees Celsius, and above 70% humidity for the past several weeks and there was no relief in sight. The people thought of it as a punishment for the fight with Bahamut, but the Oracle-Queen, Lunafreya, insisted that the truth was much simpler.

Her husband, the 114th King of Lucis, Noctis Lucis Caelum, sent his personal guards, the Kingsglaive, Lucian hunters, scientists, and his friends across the continent to investigate. The royal couple themselves even ventured out, exploring the city, and seeing the citizenry of the rebuilt Crown City lined up at ice cream shops, nearly passed out at bus stops, and looking exceptionally miserable walking the streets. Stepping outside, especially wearing black, proved to be a mistake as Noctis was so sure he had stepped out of the car and into Inferno.

That day, drenched in sweat due to the heat and humidity, the King returned to his throne room, seeing those he sent out to investigate waiting for him. They all looked miserable, with Prompto pale, sitting in a chair and face covered with mosquito bites. The female Glaives and his wife's hair were matted and frizzy, the humidity destroying any hairstyles the women were trying out. The men were either passed out on the floor, leaning against a wall, or sitting on the stairs.

"We nearly got killed out there…" one of them said.

Noctis noticed that he was missing one person, his Shield, Gladiolus Amicitia. His sister, Iris, was there, looking utterly miserable as the 25-year-old Shield Maiden had returned from her investigations. Texting him, he asked where he was, and his reply didn't shock him in the least. Another Glaive complained, saying, "It's like we're being punished for what happened with the Crystal…"

A third said, "I wanna quit and move to somewhere like Tenebrae…At least it's cool there…"

Wanting to be the king he was supposed to be, despite feeling like he was going to pass out at any second, Noctis asked, "So, you wanna quit over some heat?"

"Your Majesty, we have to!" a scientist told him.

"Indeed, Noct. Air conditioners only have so much power…That and the rising electric bills…" his friend, Ignis, told him.

"We've been getting 90 plus degree days since April!" Iris added.

"Summer's just different this year. Like, it's not letting up," a fifth Glaive said.

Slightly in denial due to his near heat exhaustion…and the only one still wearing all black, Noctis told them, "Hey! We've been fighting summer heat for over 2,000 years! We can do this! It's in our DNA! We're Lucians! It's in our blood!"

"Uh, about that. I don't think Prompto's got any blood left. A cloud of mosquitos ate him up when we arrived at Wiz's Chocobo Post," Iris said, raising her hand.

He looked to his mosquito-bitten best friend and the blonde muttered something deliriously. Asking for a translation, he received, "Noct, I don't think I can do this anymore buddy…I think I'm dead…"

"So, you're just gonna let a couple of mosquito bites bother you? We faced worse in the Malmalam Thicket! What will others think, especially Cindy, Prompto?" Noctis told him.

"Oh, um, well I talked with Aranea a couple of days ago. She said that the high over in Cartanica is 72 degrees," Iris said.

Everyone in the room, minus Noctis, sighed, wondering why the weather couldn't be as pleasant. They couldn't have gotten that wimpy in the last 12 years, Noctis thought. Lucis always had terrible summers, right up until the Endless Night. So, there was no reason for them to complain. Prompto and Lunafreya could as they weren't native to Lucis…But they've been there long enough.

"Oh…I have the perfect mink scarf to wear if the weather cools down. Noctis bought it for me last Winter Festival and it's so soft," Lunafreya said.

Shaking his head, Noctis told them, "Enough! Listen to yourselves! We're Lucians and we don't whine about the temperature being a few extra degrees! Summers have always been this bad and it's not stopping anytime soon."

The recently appointed leader of the Kingsglaive, Cor Leonis raised his hand and said, "Majesty…Hate to be 'that guy', but the humidity is unusually…"

"It's not that bad," Noctis said, still in denial.

Lunafreya, holding up her long blonde hair that turned exceptionally frizzy, "No, Noctis! It's pretty bad!"

"Well, fine! Anyone else got something they like to complain about? What about you, Dr. Sania?" Noctis asked.

The red hat-wearing Dr. Sania Yeagre, among the few scientists that returned, looked fine and she said, "I'm actually a smidge cold."

"You know you can't ask her," Iris muttered.

"Do you want me to ask Gladio? The heat's not getting to him. I texted him and he told me he's over at the Vesperpool, fighting Sahagin at an abandoned outpost with his bare hands!" Noctis said, still denying the heat and imaging Gladio looking like a wild man and fighting the cold-blooded, reptilian creatures.

"Sorry, Noct. But I do admit that it feels this year's summer will never end," Ignis told him.

Everyone agreed and Noctis told them, "You know what. It might never end. I know that no one wants to hear that, but it's true. But I know that all of us, minus Luna, have gone to the playground in 100-degree heat and slid down metal slides, nearly burning our butt off!"

"Wait, what?" a Glaive said, a bit confused.

"Deep-fried Zu drumsticks and your skin too while camping," Noctis told him.

Ignis raised his hand slightly, saying, "No, Noct. I think that was just your failed attempt at cooking when we camped at…"

"Got Founder's Day wreaths and prayed that it didn't spontaneously combust upon buying it and taking it outside," the Lucian king added, ignoring him.

"Are we gonna talk about all the stuff you did during the summer? Cause I remember that happening when…" Iris asked.

"You didn't let the heat stop you then, right? The worse is behind us! Because you know what's next? Anyone?" Noctis said, interrupting her.

"Fall?" a Glaive asked.

"Yes! And what comes in the fall?" His Majesty asked.

Everyone grinned and said, "Blitzball!"

Luna gave a wry smile, not really into the sport as her home country kinda sucked at the game. Noctis nodded, telling the group, "And that's the reward for our suffering! We do what no other nation can! Now, let's go back out there and show the world what the Kingdom of Lucis does best: enjoy summer!"

"YEAH! WOO!" the group, minus Prompto, who passed out upon standing, cheered.

After everyone was done and calmed down, they looked to their king. Cor then asked, "So…can we stay in the air conditioning a bit longer, Your Majesty?"

"Yeah, we can. Call back the Glaives. None of us are going out there unless we really have to," Noctis replied.

The group sighed in relief but still didn't notice poor Prompto on the floor.

Poor Prompto. Yes, mosquito bites in the American South suck! Went down there with bare ankles and was practically eaten up by the time I went back home. :(

Update: Due to the new trilogy, bits of the story will change. But it'll still have its family and humorous roots.