Rating: PG for slashyness
Diclaimer: Narnia and all characters belong to CS Lewis. I'm just borrowing them. I've also
borrowed on or two lines of dialogue to tie this in to the frame of Prince Caspian.
No disrespect is meant by this. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
A/N: This will become slashy. Very, very gently slashy, but it will focus on m/m romantic
relationships.
I wrote this in response to a request from my very dear friend AngelHair, and it's dedicated
to her.
Chapter Five - no POV
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
'I say, Lucy,' Edmund said, and then hesitated slightly. It was a grey and dreary morning at
the beginning of the Christmas hols, some months after the children had returned from their
adventure in Narnia, but the first chance that they had really had to be together, and
Edmund had taken his sister aside in a very conspiratorial manner and begged her to talk
with him alone for a moment.
'Spit it out, Ed,' Lucy said kindly. Edmund drew a deep breath and began talking very
quickly.
'It's just that you know how sometimes you've said something or done something that at the
time everyone else said was wrong, but you knew in your heart that there was nothing wrong
with it at all, and in fact it was the only thing to do? I know that happens to you,
sometimes, and – and I know that there have been times when I've argued with you about
things like that, but I know now that it was a stupid, selfish thing to do, and last time
I did try to make the others see things your way when only you could see what Aslan meant
for us to do –'
'You did, Ed, and it was very decent of you,' Lucy said encouragingly, for Edmund beginning
to sound a little defensive, and now that her curiosity had been awakened by his
secretiveness, she did so want him to confide in her. Edmund looked a little relieved at her
words, but he quickly went back to looking nervous.
'Well you see, the thing is, Lu, I'm going to tell you one of those things now.' Lucy
suddenly went very quiet and looked at her brother very hard. She had been excited and
proud that it was she and not Peter with whom Edmund had chosen to share his secret, but
now she began to get the feeling that it was quite serious. Edmund looked at her solemnly.
'I'm going to tell you something that I think most people would think is wrong, but I'm
not so sure it is anymore,' he continued. 'And I don't know what you'll say or if you'll
ever be able to think of me the same way again, but I feel I have to tell somebody or I'll
just burst!'
'Why whatever is it, Ed? Have you done something – something that might be wrong? Oh,
Edmund, you're not in any trouble are you?' Lucy cried out.
'Oh no, Lu! Nothing like that. I – I haven't done anything stupid. I didn't even say
anything to him. And – and he didn't say anything either. But I think he knew.'
'I don't understand, Ed,' Lucy said. 'You think who knew what?' Edmund closed his eyes.
'Caspian,' he said eventually. 'I think that Caspian knew – knows – realised how much I…'
He couldn't go on. Lucy's eyes widened and she stared at her brother in shock.
'Oh Edmund! You mean you…?'
'I love him,' Edmund said in a voice that was almost a whisper. 'I think I love him.'
'But Edmund, he's a boy!' Lucy caught herself almost saying, but she stopped herself,
realising that it was a thoroughly *stupid* thing to say. Suddenly, she found herself
remembering the occasional, secretive, scornful comments her brothers would make to each
other when they thought the girls could not hear about how a certain master was too fond
of a certain boy, or how a prefect had been caught being intimate with another student.
And then they would snigger together, and if she asked questions would blush, and tell her
to cover her ears and pretend that she had not heard. For the boys attended an old-fashioned
public school, and while homosexuality was not rife, and certainly was not accepted or
acceptable, neither was it completely unheard of. Now that she was thinking about it,
Lucy seemed to remember that at her own boarding school, a pair of girls a little older
than she was had been sent home in disgrace for doing something that was not fit to be
discussed in polite company, and amongst the whisperings that had followed, one comment
suddenly stood out in her mind.
'It's disgusting and perverted. They even claimed to be in love!'
Lucy thought hard about this, and realised two things. Firstly, that Edmund was right, and
the majority of people would think that there was something deeply wrong with what he had
admitted to her. But secondly, that it was possible for a person to be in love with someone
of the same sex, or at least to *think* that they were in love. Lucy suddenly wondered how a
person could *tell* when they were truly in love. In stories, the prince would look into
the princess' eyes, and they would both just *know*. Sometimes there were tests, but somehow
Lucy didn't think that a glass slipper or silver rose would be of any help to Edmund. She
wondered if he really could be in love with Caspian, or if he had just made some horrible
mistake. Then he rubbed his eyes hard, as if to make sure he wasn't crying, glanced up at
her, and then looked away, and she realised that he could not be mistaken. Love shone in
his eyes as clearly as it ever did in the eyes of those fairytale princes and princesses in
the stories.
Edmund stared at the floor. He was getting more and more worried as Lucy's silence
lengthened.
'Oh Lu! Do you think it can be so very wrong?' he burst out suddenly.
Lucy didn't answer straight away. She thought about the two girls sent home in disgrace, and
the words that people had used: unnatural, perverted, queer. And she thought about Caspian's
laughing, kindly, noble face, and the way he had gripped Edmund's arm in silence just as
they were about to leave Narnia.
'You know, Ed, I – I don't think it can be,' she said eventually. Edmund stared at her in
relief.
'Really?' he said.
'Well you see,' Lucy said thoughtfully. 'Aslan told Peter and Susan that they can't come
back to Narnia anymore – if he'd been angry with you, or if he'd never wanted you to see
Caspian again, he could always have said the same to you. And besides that, it was Aslan
himself that made it so that you would meet Caspian. And he must have known that if you
were to meet him, you would fall in love with him; after all, he does know everything.
And – and I don't think he would have let it happen if he hadn't *meant* for it to happen.
And if Aslan meant for it to happen, then how could it possibly be wrong?
Edmund looked as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
'You know, Lucy, I do believe you might be right,' he said softly. Lucy smiled.
'I knew that there were boys who – you know – felt like that about other boys,' Edmund
said after a moment. 'There're some at school, although nobody really talks about it much.'
Lucy nodded. 'But they're mostly the pale-faced, girlish type who are no good at games and
spend their first night back blubbing for mother. I never thought I could possibly have
anything in common with them,' Edmund laughed.
'I feel sorry them.' Lucy said. 'Being treated like they aren't proper men, and being
called all those hateful names. *You* might find yourself acting like a girl if that was the
way you were treated all the time, especially if you'd never had the chance to go on
adventures or be king of Narnia.'
'I suppose I might at that, though it is an odd thought,' Edmund said with a smile.
'But I don't think I ever could now, not when I've got you around to say sensible things
and make me feel like it's perfectly all right.' He looked at Lucy gratefully, and she
smiled back. 'I did *know* there was nothing wrong with it really,' he said. 'It *felt* right,
if you understand what I'm saying. I was just afraid that no one else would ever be able
to see it that way.' He clapped Lucy on the back. 'But I knew if anyone could, it would be
you. You really are a brick!'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Diclaimer: Narnia and all characters belong to CS Lewis. I'm just borrowing them. I've also
borrowed on or two lines of dialogue to tie this in to the frame of Prince Caspian.
No disrespect is meant by this. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
A/N: This will become slashy. Very, very gently slashy, but it will focus on m/m romantic
relationships.
I wrote this in response to a request from my very dear friend AngelHair, and it's dedicated
to her.
Chapter Five - no POV
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
'I say, Lucy,' Edmund said, and then hesitated slightly. It was a grey and dreary morning at
the beginning of the Christmas hols, some months after the children had returned from their
adventure in Narnia, but the first chance that they had really had to be together, and
Edmund had taken his sister aside in a very conspiratorial manner and begged her to talk
with him alone for a moment.
'Spit it out, Ed,' Lucy said kindly. Edmund drew a deep breath and began talking very
quickly.
'It's just that you know how sometimes you've said something or done something that at the
time everyone else said was wrong, but you knew in your heart that there was nothing wrong
with it at all, and in fact it was the only thing to do? I know that happens to you,
sometimes, and – and I know that there have been times when I've argued with you about
things like that, but I know now that it was a stupid, selfish thing to do, and last time
I did try to make the others see things your way when only you could see what Aslan meant
for us to do –'
'You did, Ed, and it was very decent of you,' Lucy said encouragingly, for Edmund beginning
to sound a little defensive, and now that her curiosity had been awakened by his
secretiveness, she did so want him to confide in her. Edmund looked a little relieved at her
words, but he quickly went back to looking nervous.
'Well you see, the thing is, Lu, I'm going to tell you one of those things now.' Lucy
suddenly went very quiet and looked at her brother very hard. She had been excited and
proud that it was she and not Peter with whom Edmund had chosen to share his secret, but
now she began to get the feeling that it was quite serious. Edmund looked at her solemnly.
'I'm going to tell you something that I think most people would think is wrong, but I'm
not so sure it is anymore,' he continued. 'And I don't know what you'll say or if you'll
ever be able to think of me the same way again, but I feel I have to tell somebody or I'll
just burst!'
'Why whatever is it, Ed? Have you done something – something that might be wrong? Oh,
Edmund, you're not in any trouble are you?' Lucy cried out.
'Oh no, Lu! Nothing like that. I – I haven't done anything stupid. I didn't even say
anything to him. And – and he didn't say anything either. But I think he knew.'
'I don't understand, Ed,' Lucy said. 'You think who knew what?' Edmund closed his eyes.
'Caspian,' he said eventually. 'I think that Caspian knew – knows – realised how much I…'
He couldn't go on. Lucy's eyes widened and she stared at her brother in shock.
'Oh Edmund! You mean you…?'
'I love him,' Edmund said in a voice that was almost a whisper. 'I think I love him.'
'But Edmund, he's a boy!' Lucy caught herself almost saying, but she stopped herself,
realising that it was a thoroughly *stupid* thing to say. Suddenly, she found herself
remembering the occasional, secretive, scornful comments her brothers would make to each
other when they thought the girls could not hear about how a certain master was too fond
of a certain boy, or how a prefect had been caught being intimate with another student.
And then they would snigger together, and if she asked questions would blush, and tell her
to cover her ears and pretend that she had not heard. For the boys attended an old-fashioned
public school, and while homosexuality was not rife, and certainly was not accepted or
acceptable, neither was it completely unheard of. Now that she was thinking about it,
Lucy seemed to remember that at her own boarding school, a pair of girls a little older
than she was had been sent home in disgrace for doing something that was not fit to be
discussed in polite company, and amongst the whisperings that had followed, one comment
suddenly stood out in her mind.
'It's disgusting and perverted. They even claimed to be in love!'
Lucy thought hard about this, and realised two things. Firstly, that Edmund was right, and
the majority of people would think that there was something deeply wrong with what he had
admitted to her. But secondly, that it was possible for a person to be in love with someone
of the same sex, or at least to *think* that they were in love. Lucy suddenly wondered how a
person could *tell* when they were truly in love. In stories, the prince would look into
the princess' eyes, and they would both just *know*. Sometimes there were tests, but somehow
Lucy didn't think that a glass slipper or silver rose would be of any help to Edmund. She
wondered if he really could be in love with Caspian, or if he had just made some horrible
mistake. Then he rubbed his eyes hard, as if to make sure he wasn't crying, glanced up at
her, and then looked away, and she realised that he could not be mistaken. Love shone in
his eyes as clearly as it ever did in the eyes of those fairytale princes and princesses in
the stories.
Edmund stared at the floor. He was getting more and more worried as Lucy's silence
lengthened.
'Oh Lu! Do you think it can be so very wrong?' he burst out suddenly.
Lucy didn't answer straight away. She thought about the two girls sent home in disgrace, and
the words that people had used: unnatural, perverted, queer. And she thought about Caspian's
laughing, kindly, noble face, and the way he had gripped Edmund's arm in silence just as
they were about to leave Narnia.
'You know, Ed, I – I don't think it can be,' she said eventually. Edmund stared at her in
relief.
'Really?' he said.
'Well you see,' Lucy said thoughtfully. 'Aslan told Peter and Susan that they can't come
back to Narnia anymore – if he'd been angry with you, or if he'd never wanted you to see
Caspian again, he could always have said the same to you. And besides that, it was Aslan
himself that made it so that you would meet Caspian. And he must have known that if you
were to meet him, you would fall in love with him; after all, he does know everything.
And – and I don't think he would have let it happen if he hadn't *meant* for it to happen.
And if Aslan meant for it to happen, then how could it possibly be wrong?
Edmund looked as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
'You know, Lucy, I do believe you might be right,' he said softly. Lucy smiled.
'I knew that there were boys who – you know – felt like that about other boys,' Edmund
said after a moment. 'There're some at school, although nobody really talks about it much.'
Lucy nodded. 'But they're mostly the pale-faced, girlish type who are no good at games and
spend their first night back blubbing for mother. I never thought I could possibly have
anything in common with them,' Edmund laughed.
'I feel sorry them.' Lucy said. 'Being treated like they aren't proper men, and being
called all those hateful names. *You* might find yourself acting like a girl if that was the
way you were treated all the time, especially if you'd never had the chance to go on
adventures or be king of Narnia.'
'I suppose I might at that, though it is an odd thought,' Edmund said with a smile.
'But I don't think I ever could now, not when I've got you around to say sensible things
and make me feel like it's perfectly all right.' He looked at Lucy gratefully, and she
smiled back. 'I did *know* there was nothing wrong with it really,' he said. 'It *felt* right,
if you understand what I'm saying. I was just afraid that no one else would ever be able
to see it that way.' He clapped Lucy on the back. 'But I knew if anyone could, it would be
you. You really are a brick!'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*