Philadelphia, November, 1942.
Eliza opened her eyes and winced at the bright light suddenly shining into them. A strange male face was peering down at her. When he realised that Eliza's eyes were now open he smiled. "Welcome back to the land of the living. You've been out of it a long time now."
"Where am I?" Eliza asked. She struggled to sit up, but found herself to weak to move much, and had to just lie there instead.
A strange look flitted across the man's face. "You're in the hospital Mrs. Gracie." He said slowly.
"The hospital." Eliza repeated with a sigh. And then she remembered it all: drifting in and out of consciousness at home, with the maid, Katy, taking control of the children who were anxious as to what was happening with their mother. Someone must have called for an ambulance because the next thing Eliza remembered was waking up briefly in one. And then getting to the hospital and seeing Doctors and nurses gather round her. But that was it. She swallowed and licked her dry lips and asked the question which she had to know the answer to. "Is the baby all right?"
The doctor looked away for a moment, giving Eliza all the answer she really needed, before turning his gaze back to her. "Mrs. Gracie, I'm terribly sorry. You had a miscarriage."
"I didn't know that still happened at four months." Eliza said, blinking back her tears, determined to remain strong and in control.
"It can." The doctor replied. "Although it's not all that common. Mrs. Gracie, I know you probably don't want to answer questions now, but I feel this is pretty important from your health point of view. I've spoken to your doctor, and he told me his advice to you. I need to know- were you following it?"
Eliza sighed. "I was being pretty good, not perfect I'll admit. But it wasn't like I was running around or anything..how could this happen?"
The doctor looked thoughtful. "I don't know sometimes Mrs. Gracie, and all I can tell you is that everything happens for a reason, even if sometimes the reason isn't entirely clear. Perhaps it would have been better in hindsight, to have kept you in bed the entire nine months, rather than just planning that for the last few.." He looked uncomfortable. "I have to go and see a few other patients. I'm very sorry about this all Mrs. Gracie."
Eliza nodded. "Thank you doctor. Has my husband been contacted, do you know?"
"I know a message was left with him some time ago, but he was in a meeting. I'm sure he'll be here as soon as he can. In the meantime I suggest you rest, and try and get some sleep. You've been through a very stressful experience, your body as well as your mind, and you've also got to recover from the operation we had to do to clean you out." The doctor said.
"Sleep?" Eliza laughed bitterly. "I don't know whether that's going to be much of a possibility doctor."
The doctor stopped on his way to the door and nodded. "I'll see if I can get the nurse to give you something to help you sleep."
After the doctor had left Eliza turned her head onto the pillow and bit her lip. The baby was dead. The baby, she and Edward had been so looking forward to, was dead. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away almost angrily, but that single tear was the catalyst for the torrent of tears which poured out, and which she thought would never stop.
When the nurse came in with an injection to help her sleep only ten minutes later she saw Eliza lying in bed, her body wracked with tears. For a moment she felt pity for the woman, but then she shook her head. Most likely this woman already had children of her own when some women couldn't even have any. Most likely this rich woman had everything she wanted when some women had to slave to make ends meet because their husband was out of a job. Most likely this woman had taken being pregnant for granted and not even really looked after her unborn child.
"Come now. Stop crying. It won't do you or anyone else any good will it?" The nurse asked, coming over to Eliza.
Eliza continued to cry and the nurse felt a surge of anger. She reached over and grabbed Eliza's shoulder and shook it. "Didn't you hear me? I said stop it. STOP IT!"
The sharp words shocked Eliza into silence and she stared at the nurse surprised.
"That's better." The nurse said. "What's done is done, and there's nothing anyone can do about it is there?"
Eliza felt a surge of anger against the woman. Weren't nurses supposed to be compassionate and kind? "As far as I know there is no rule against crying when someone dies." Eliza said. "And what's more it's healthy to cry rather than to bottle it all up inside."
The nurse snorted. "What kind of psychobabble have you been reading to believe that nonsense?" She snapped, preparing the syringe for Eliza's injection.
Eliza shrugged. "Obviously nothing you've read." She said. She didn't want to admit it to the nurse, but she was glad she'd stopped her crying- otherwise she thought she would have gone on forever. She might not be crying on the outside now, but she sure was on the inside. Her heart felt hollow and dead, and her womb ached for the baby it had been used to.
The nurse didn't comment now, just gave Eliza the injection, curtly ordered her to sleep and left the room. Eliza made a face at her retreating back. That woman, she told herself, had serious issues. With a sigh, she fell back against the pillow and closed her eyes. But for some time, before she fell asleep, images of the unborn baby floated around inside her head.
She was woken a few hours later by the sound of a chair creaking. She turned her head to the side, groggy from the injection as well as the operation, to see Edward sitting in the chair. He had a bunch of roses in his arms.
"Edward." Eliza croaked, her throat aching again.
"Eliza. Sweetie." Edward was up in a flash, the flowers on the bed beside her and his hands holding hers tightly. "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry I was in a meeting or I'd have been here much earlier, but I asked not to be disturbed."
"It's okay." Eliza assured him. "You're here now and that's all that matters."
"Are you all right?" Edward asked concerned.
"The baby died." Eliza said, blinking back more tears.
"I know. I've spoken to the doctor." Edward replied. "But my main concern at the moment is you: how are you feeling?"
"Empty, and sore." Eliza said.
"Oh sweetie." Edward said, putting his arms around her. "Don't worry baby, everything will be all right. I promise."
"I know." Eliza said dully. As much as she hurt now, she knew that in time everything would be all right again. Maybe she'd never completely get over it all, but life would go on.
Eliza opened her eyes and winced at the bright light suddenly shining into them. A strange male face was peering down at her. When he realised that Eliza's eyes were now open he smiled. "Welcome back to the land of the living. You've been out of it a long time now."
"Where am I?" Eliza asked. She struggled to sit up, but found herself to weak to move much, and had to just lie there instead.
A strange look flitted across the man's face. "You're in the hospital Mrs. Gracie." He said slowly.
"The hospital." Eliza repeated with a sigh. And then she remembered it all: drifting in and out of consciousness at home, with the maid, Katy, taking control of the children who were anxious as to what was happening with their mother. Someone must have called for an ambulance because the next thing Eliza remembered was waking up briefly in one. And then getting to the hospital and seeing Doctors and nurses gather round her. But that was it. She swallowed and licked her dry lips and asked the question which she had to know the answer to. "Is the baby all right?"
The doctor looked away for a moment, giving Eliza all the answer she really needed, before turning his gaze back to her. "Mrs. Gracie, I'm terribly sorry. You had a miscarriage."
"I didn't know that still happened at four months." Eliza said, blinking back her tears, determined to remain strong and in control.
"It can." The doctor replied. "Although it's not all that common. Mrs. Gracie, I know you probably don't want to answer questions now, but I feel this is pretty important from your health point of view. I've spoken to your doctor, and he told me his advice to you. I need to know- were you following it?"
Eliza sighed. "I was being pretty good, not perfect I'll admit. But it wasn't like I was running around or anything..how could this happen?"
The doctor looked thoughtful. "I don't know sometimes Mrs. Gracie, and all I can tell you is that everything happens for a reason, even if sometimes the reason isn't entirely clear. Perhaps it would have been better in hindsight, to have kept you in bed the entire nine months, rather than just planning that for the last few.." He looked uncomfortable. "I have to go and see a few other patients. I'm very sorry about this all Mrs. Gracie."
Eliza nodded. "Thank you doctor. Has my husband been contacted, do you know?"
"I know a message was left with him some time ago, but he was in a meeting. I'm sure he'll be here as soon as he can. In the meantime I suggest you rest, and try and get some sleep. You've been through a very stressful experience, your body as well as your mind, and you've also got to recover from the operation we had to do to clean you out." The doctor said.
"Sleep?" Eliza laughed bitterly. "I don't know whether that's going to be much of a possibility doctor."
The doctor stopped on his way to the door and nodded. "I'll see if I can get the nurse to give you something to help you sleep."
After the doctor had left Eliza turned her head onto the pillow and bit her lip. The baby was dead. The baby, she and Edward had been so looking forward to, was dead. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away almost angrily, but that single tear was the catalyst for the torrent of tears which poured out, and which she thought would never stop.
When the nurse came in with an injection to help her sleep only ten minutes later she saw Eliza lying in bed, her body wracked with tears. For a moment she felt pity for the woman, but then she shook her head. Most likely this woman already had children of her own when some women couldn't even have any. Most likely this rich woman had everything she wanted when some women had to slave to make ends meet because their husband was out of a job. Most likely this woman had taken being pregnant for granted and not even really looked after her unborn child.
"Come now. Stop crying. It won't do you or anyone else any good will it?" The nurse asked, coming over to Eliza.
Eliza continued to cry and the nurse felt a surge of anger. She reached over and grabbed Eliza's shoulder and shook it. "Didn't you hear me? I said stop it. STOP IT!"
The sharp words shocked Eliza into silence and she stared at the nurse surprised.
"That's better." The nurse said. "What's done is done, and there's nothing anyone can do about it is there?"
Eliza felt a surge of anger against the woman. Weren't nurses supposed to be compassionate and kind? "As far as I know there is no rule against crying when someone dies." Eliza said. "And what's more it's healthy to cry rather than to bottle it all up inside."
The nurse snorted. "What kind of psychobabble have you been reading to believe that nonsense?" She snapped, preparing the syringe for Eliza's injection.
Eliza shrugged. "Obviously nothing you've read." She said. She didn't want to admit it to the nurse, but she was glad she'd stopped her crying- otherwise she thought she would have gone on forever. She might not be crying on the outside now, but she sure was on the inside. Her heart felt hollow and dead, and her womb ached for the baby it had been used to.
The nurse didn't comment now, just gave Eliza the injection, curtly ordered her to sleep and left the room. Eliza made a face at her retreating back. That woman, she told herself, had serious issues. With a sigh, she fell back against the pillow and closed her eyes. But for some time, before she fell asleep, images of the unborn baby floated around inside her head.
She was woken a few hours later by the sound of a chair creaking. She turned her head to the side, groggy from the injection as well as the operation, to see Edward sitting in the chair. He had a bunch of roses in his arms.
"Edward." Eliza croaked, her throat aching again.
"Eliza. Sweetie." Edward was up in a flash, the flowers on the bed beside her and his hands holding hers tightly. "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry I was in a meeting or I'd have been here much earlier, but I asked not to be disturbed."
"It's okay." Eliza assured him. "You're here now and that's all that matters."
"Are you all right?" Edward asked concerned.
"The baby died." Eliza said, blinking back more tears.
"I know. I've spoken to the doctor." Edward replied. "But my main concern at the moment is you: how are you feeling?"
"Empty, and sore." Eliza said.
"Oh sweetie." Edward said, putting his arms around her. "Don't worry baby, everything will be all right. I promise."
"I know." Eliza said dully. As much as she hurt now, she knew that in time everything would be all right again. Maybe she'd never completely get over it all, but life would go on.