Author's Note: Sorry but I was away for a while so I really couldn't update on my fic. Sorry I broke the promise. I hope I'll start having more time to update. This fic will be a little different because it has a few rewritten song from rap artists. I hope you like it as much as I did thinking a bout the words to replace.
Disclaimer: I own them or maybe I don't. I don't own them so sorry but if I did I would say yes. Wouldn't I? Maybe not. Whatever… woo- hoo.
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~Captain Falcon Got A Brand New Baby~
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Capt. F: No, if you don't take full responsibility I will put you on Child Support.
Young Link: Hah.. I am way too young to have a child. Hence the name Young Link.
*Quin had just walked in on the "affair".
Quin: How in the hell can you have an affair with an 11 year old kid? Heh, this stuff gets weirder and weirder. Back to the question, how in the hell can you have an affair with an 11 year old kid?
Young Link: Stay out of this it's not your baby so don't worry about it.
Quin: I don't see a baby. *Looks left then right*
*Capt. Falcon holds up Capt. Linky!
Quin: Ack. Qhat the fuck is that.
Young Link: My child dumbass. I don't know what you are talking about when you said "thing"?
Quin: My god he has got to see this.
*Quin pulls Link out of his room dragging him down the stairs not caring whom or what he hits.
Quin: Look at your child Link.
Link: That ain't mine. Hey he has Capt. Falcon's eyes and my hair. That ain't mine and it never will be.
Young Link: Well, I am a younger you so evidently you are the father.
*Capt. Falcon leans up to Link.
Captain Falcon: Yeah maybe you're a little bigger than you younger version! * clicks tongue *
Link: I am not a homophobe.
*Quin holds up a picture of Marth naked and Link gets an erection.
Link: No, no, no! It can't be. Nooooooooooo!
*The room spins around with Link looking up.
Link: Wait then who was I sleeping with last night?
*Flashback*
Unknown guy: Are you ready?
Link: Yeah I've been waiting for this.
*When they get in the bed Link remembers who it is.
*End Flashback*
Link: Oh no it can't be. It was … it was… it was rrr….rrrr…rr…Ganondorf.
Quin: Damn Elf boy I feel bad for you.
Captain Falcon: Hey Link you cheated on me. You are a dead man.
*Link grabs baby Capt. Linky and kills him.*
Quin: Ohh noo you killed Capt. Linky!
Young Link: You bastard!
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
Captain Falcon: Now who in the hell can that be?
Quin: I'll give you one guess. *Opens Door*
Marth: Heya Link Ganon told me all about last knight and well you know I wanted to--
*Capt. Faclon tackles Marth but Marth retaliates an Ko's Captain Falcon.*
Marth: Now Link I was saying-- *Marth looks around* where did he go.
*Quin points out of the window*
Link: I'm gonna commit suicide! Maybe I'll be straight again. * Jumps into water but before he reaches the water, Oprah grabs him out of mid-air*
Oprah: I need someone on my talk show!
Marth: Hey you're cute how about we go and *makes certain movements*
Young Link: Sure.
Marth: I was talking about him.
Quin: Yo man I'll pass.
Marth: Like hell you won't!
* Quin jumps off the window but hangs onto the edge*
The Man with the Creepy Hand on Scary Movie 2: Grab my hand!
Quin: No give me your other hand.
Creepy Hand Man: No grab my little hand it's the strong one.
Quin lets go and drops to his death.
~End~
~Rap Songs ~
Missy Elliot AKA Capt. Falcon
{*scratching*} DJ please, pick up your phone
I'm on the request line {*scratching*}
This is a Captain Falcon one time exclusive
(C'mon, c'mon)
Chorus:
Is it worth it, let me suck it
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )
If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}
I'd like to get to know ya so I could show ya
Put the dick in ya like I told ya
Gimme all your numbers so I could phone ya
Your boy actin' stank then call me over
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Phone before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don't or you will or won't ya
Go downtown and suck it like a vulture
See my hips and my tips, don't ya
See my ass and my lips, don't ya
Lost a few pounds in my waist for ya
This be the beat that goes ba ta ta
ba ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta
Sex me so good I say blah-blah-blah
Work it, I need a glass of water
Boy, oh, boy, it's good to know ya
Is it worth it, let me suck it
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )
If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}
If you a fly gal get your nails done
Get a pedicure, get your hair did
Boy, lift it up, let's make a toast-a
Let's get drunk, that's gon' bring us closer
Don't I look like a Marth/Roy poster
See the Belvedere playin' tricks on ya
Boyfriend wanna be like me, never
You won't find a bitch that's even better
I make you hot as Las Vegas weather
Listen up close while I take it backwards
(Watch the way Captain like to take it backwards) [backwards]
I'm not a prostitute, but I could give you what you want
I love your braids and your mouth full of floss
Love the way my ass go bum-bum-bum-bum
Keep your eyes on my bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
And think you can handle this gadong-a-dong-dong
Take my thong off and my ass go vroom
Cut the lights off so you see what I could do
Is it worth it, let me suck it
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )
If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}
Boys, boys, all type of boys
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Japanese boys
Why-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai
Rock-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai
Boy, Boy, get that cash
If it's 9 to 5 or shakin' your ass
Ain't no shame, boys do your thang
Just make sure you ahead of the game
Just 'cause I got a lot of fame supa
Link couldn't get me change my name papa
Kunta Kinte a slave again, no sir
Picture me sayin', "Oh, yes a master"
Picture Peach dating a pastor
Ganon and Mewtwo can out last ya
Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya
When I come out you won't even matter
Why you act dumb like "Uh, duh"
So you act dumb like "Uh, duh"
As the drummer boy go ba-rom-pop-pom-pom
Give you some-some-some of this Cinnabun
Is it worth it, let me suck it
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )
If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}
To my fellas, ooooh
Good God, I like the way you work that
{*scratching: "Peter Piper" featuring Jam Master Jay*}
To my men, woo
You sure know how to work that, good God
Qunmaster: Sorry I miscounted on my documents and I only have that one song sorry. Will be more next one.