The Random Observations of a Random Observer
Chapter Three: Those Five Small Words
Luna awoke to sunlight shining through her large window, surrounded by luxiourous silk sheets, down quilts, and pillows made of what felt like clouds. Sighing happily, she decided Spooner might not be such a bad place after all. The she spied Carrot, peering through an obviously self-made peep hole. Throwing a shoe at him, she took a reality check and knew that Spooner, despite having huge rooms with absolutely heavenly bed and breakfasts, was not her home, and not where she belonged. Especially if Carrot was there.
Luna, upon thinking of ways to escape Spooner (if we left it up to Karmi...this story would never end), got out of bed and got dressed in one of the outfits they provided, trying to pick out the least slinkiest. Finally settling on an off-the-shoulder black longsleeve shirt and knee- length dark purple/blue pleated skirt with black knee socks and black kid shoes. It was all very black, seeing as this is Luna's favorite color. She is a very dark, morbid, quiet person, so, black suits her.
Karmi however, was not so concious of slinkyness factors or dark colors.She came bounding in, wearing a light pink shirt made of hankerchief material that was exceedingly low cut and see-through with flowing sleeves and a tie up back. Her skirt, like Luna's, was black and pleated, but consderably shorter that Lu-chan's. Completing this outfit that was sure to grab some of Carrot's most unwanted attentions was a pair of white socks. Yes, plain, regular, white socks.
She apparently had some news which needed immediate divulgence, and began spewing out her message as soon as she had at least half of Luna's attention,
"Since we are both teenagers, we are required to go to school as long as we are here. It will be held at Lings High, and today's course will be..."
Karmi paused for a moment to remember what this mystery course was,
"Sex Ed!" she finished, squealing, and running off, half -tripping on all the wooden flooring but somehow managing to make it without falling as far as Luna's eye could see. Luna's mind however, was not on Karmi's well-being (shame on you luna!). It was on those five simple, yet utterly horrific words that in their innoncence, doomed her to a fate worse than death, purgatory, hell, or any means of torture know to man or animal:
Sex Ed with Carrot Glace.
Eyes as round as saucers, and looking like, quite frankly, she was about to go into shock, Luna dropped the misc. item in her hand, stared at the empty hallway, and murmured to herself, "No....please kami no."
~ Meanwhile, In Another Part of Town. ~
The village elder, consequently called Elder Brooks, was a very old- fashioned, appropriate sort of man. So when he had been volunteered to teach Sex Ed on such short notice, was, quite frankly, extremely terrified. However, recruiting a young girl with jade-toned hair who was sitting atop a large muscular blonde, who was pretty much the only one who didn't make leude comments about the diagrams, his fear subsisded somewhat.
Finally, everything had been set up in the PE gym, Karmi, as the girl was called, still sitting on Gaeteu, as the man was called, had chosen a seat in the middle, and he had a feeling neither of them were particularily bright folks, they were however, hard workers, (well, at least the blonde was, the green haired on tried to lead, she really tried, but she could simply not retain the directions of Here, There, and To Your Left,) and he was glad to have company.
Slowly, students filtered in. Marron and Tira came in first sitting at their desks and working quietly on things for other classes. Next to hobble in half-awake was Chocolate, followed by Carrot who was coming on to Juniper at any possible opportunity. Last, but not least, was Luna, trembling in fear, accompained by none other that the cheerful Dota, who apparently had to take classes too.
Dear God, what have they gotten themselves into?
The bell finally rang, starting the class. E. Brooks, or Mr. Ebbie, as Karmi and Dota {who were disturbingly similar} had taken to calling him, began going over the rules of Sex Ed. Seeing as this would be a long boring list of things they did not care about, they proceeded to ignore him and talked amongst themselves.
"Hey Juuuniper, are you tired? Cause you keep running through my dreams..." Carrot said attempting to be suave and debonair.
He of course ended up getting slapped.
"Come on Carrot, that was pathetic even for you." Tira moaned, sweatdropping.
"Yes little brother, can't you manage some scrap of decency in your dating attempts?" Marron said reproachfully.
"Oh I'm not the one who doesn't like girls here...."
"What?!" A blushing Marron fumed, raising a scroll and brandishing it like a weapon.
"Girly boy girly boy, Marron is a girly boy!"
"I AM NOT!!"
"Yes you are, you have a crush onnn...Gaetaeu!!!"
"Eeeew....Carrot, your mind's been in worse places than mine has, and that's pretty damn bad!!" Karmi yelled, turning and looking at him in disgust, having picked up some of their conversation.
"And where exactly has your mind been, my lucious little Karma..." Carrot replied lustily, leaning over to get a better...view. Shudder.
Karmi blinked rapidly, and after several minutes realized Carrot was leaning so that he could see straight down her shirt.
"CARROT! STOP THAT YOU NASTY BOY!" Smmmmaccccck. Red hand print on the cheek. Knee in the stomach. Oooh, Ahhh, that had to hurt.....
"Ooooouuuhhhhh...uuuaaaahhh....Ka-Ka-Karmieeeehhh...tha-a-at hurrrtttt...."
"No dippin' dots Sherlock."
Luna, meanwhile had a score sheet that read: Karmi - 1, Carrot - 0. It also had lots of little morbid luna scribbles on it, but that's besides the point.
Hmmm...if this devolps some more I may have to set up the good old betting tables...Oh yea, I'll be rollin' in the dough... Luna though wickedly to herself, planning on exploiting everyone in every possible way, and not feeling the least bit guilty about it. After all, money is money - pictures of dead white guys and all.
Unexpectedly, Ebbie{Elder Brooks} cleared his throat and it sounded like a train wreck, causing them all to turn around a pay attention. After all, witnessing death by choking on your own saliva is a rare event. Ebbie, however, was not dying, but was pleased with how well is hacking fit had caught the attention of the class.
"Now minnasan...." he began, and was just about to be droned out again, when he pulled forth from the shadows a full scale replica of the female body, and a very detailed on at that. And after that it went like dominos: Carrot staring out right unabashedly bug-eyed and drooling, Gaeteau staring blankly until finally realizing what the hell it was and looking down politely, and Marron, blushing rather profusely at both the replica and his brother's reaction, and also looking down, though for him it was mostly shame and embarrasment of his brother.
The girls were different: Luna groaned loudly, Tira also groaned some, Chocolate, Dota, and Karmi all stared kind of blankly, lost as to what was so important. Juniper was thankful, as now Carrot had something to stare at other than her.
"This is the female body. Here we see the aerole of the breast, and here is the....erm....nipple. The main function of the...." Ebbie stumbled along, a credit to his generation for not giving up completly. Carrot was wondering about multiple OTHER uses for the breast, and was thinking about uttering them out loud when a large yellow object hit him like a giant...something out of the sky. Bouncing off his head and smacking Karmi, the small rubber duck squeaked to a halt on the floor.
Luna, the thrower, had achieved her goal in knocking whatever highly perverted thought he was about to speak out, but inadvertently hitting Karmi, who for several minutes entertained the idea that the sky was falling and screamed and threw a giant fuss, one could only feel sorry for Gaeteau.
The hysteria caught on to the panicky group of Student Population, and in the growing mass confusion, Carrot had groped three girls and had swipped the replica. The students went home early, temporarily postponing the worst that was yet to come.
tbc
AN: WHOA! Took me a long time to get this out!!! Major gomen to anyone who anyone who actually reads my stuff, I really am trying! Kudos to Luna for keeping me on task...I think{rubs poor bashed skull}. Half of this was written on a late night Mountain Dew high so it may seem a little wacky, but I promise I'm really gonna devolp the whole sex-ed thing a lot more in the next chapter{is this a good thing...?}. I want to see more of Chocolate and Gaeteau, and just the charecters in general, because dawg-gonnit, it maybe a comedy, but it's going to be a well-devolped one!!!{erm...no sexual pun intended. bad Carrot bad for making Karmi a hentai! bad boy!}
Luna awoke to sunlight shining through her large window, surrounded by luxiourous silk sheets, down quilts, and pillows made of what felt like clouds. Sighing happily, she decided Spooner might not be such a bad place after all. The she spied Carrot, peering through an obviously self-made peep hole. Throwing a shoe at him, she took a reality check and knew that Spooner, despite having huge rooms with absolutely heavenly bed and breakfasts, was not her home, and not where she belonged. Especially if Carrot was there.
Luna, upon thinking of ways to escape Spooner (if we left it up to Karmi...this story would never end), got out of bed and got dressed in one of the outfits they provided, trying to pick out the least slinkiest. Finally settling on an off-the-shoulder black longsleeve shirt and knee- length dark purple/blue pleated skirt with black knee socks and black kid shoes. It was all very black, seeing as this is Luna's favorite color. She is a very dark, morbid, quiet person, so, black suits her.
Karmi however, was not so concious of slinkyness factors or dark colors.She came bounding in, wearing a light pink shirt made of hankerchief material that was exceedingly low cut and see-through with flowing sleeves and a tie up back. Her skirt, like Luna's, was black and pleated, but consderably shorter that Lu-chan's. Completing this outfit that was sure to grab some of Carrot's most unwanted attentions was a pair of white socks. Yes, plain, regular, white socks.
She apparently had some news which needed immediate divulgence, and began spewing out her message as soon as she had at least half of Luna's attention,
"Since we are both teenagers, we are required to go to school as long as we are here. It will be held at Lings High, and today's course will be..."
Karmi paused for a moment to remember what this mystery course was,
"Sex Ed!" she finished, squealing, and running off, half -tripping on all the wooden flooring but somehow managing to make it without falling as far as Luna's eye could see. Luna's mind however, was not on Karmi's well-being (shame on you luna!). It was on those five simple, yet utterly horrific words that in their innoncence, doomed her to a fate worse than death, purgatory, hell, or any means of torture know to man or animal:
Sex Ed with Carrot Glace.
Eyes as round as saucers, and looking like, quite frankly, she was about to go into shock, Luna dropped the misc. item in her hand, stared at the empty hallway, and murmured to herself, "No....please kami no."
~ Meanwhile, In Another Part of Town. ~
The village elder, consequently called Elder Brooks, was a very old- fashioned, appropriate sort of man. So when he had been volunteered to teach Sex Ed on such short notice, was, quite frankly, extremely terrified. However, recruiting a young girl with jade-toned hair who was sitting atop a large muscular blonde, who was pretty much the only one who didn't make leude comments about the diagrams, his fear subsisded somewhat.
Finally, everything had been set up in the PE gym, Karmi, as the girl was called, still sitting on Gaeteu, as the man was called, had chosen a seat in the middle, and he had a feeling neither of them were particularily bright folks, they were however, hard workers, (well, at least the blonde was, the green haired on tried to lead, she really tried, but she could simply not retain the directions of Here, There, and To Your Left,) and he was glad to have company.
Slowly, students filtered in. Marron and Tira came in first sitting at their desks and working quietly on things for other classes. Next to hobble in half-awake was Chocolate, followed by Carrot who was coming on to Juniper at any possible opportunity. Last, but not least, was Luna, trembling in fear, accompained by none other that the cheerful Dota, who apparently had to take classes too.
Dear God, what have they gotten themselves into?
The bell finally rang, starting the class. E. Brooks, or Mr. Ebbie, as Karmi and Dota {who were disturbingly similar} had taken to calling him, began going over the rules of Sex Ed. Seeing as this would be a long boring list of things they did not care about, they proceeded to ignore him and talked amongst themselves.
"Hey Juuuniper, are you tired? Cause you keep running through my dreams..." Carrot said attempting to be suave and debonair.
He of course ended up getting slapped.
"Come on Carrot, that was pathetic even for you." Tira moaned, sweatdropping.
"Yes little brother, can't you manage some scrap of decency in your dating attempts?" Marron said reproachfully.
"Oh I'm not the one who doesn't like girls here...."
"What?!" A blushing Marron fumed, raising a scroll and brandishing it like a weapon.
"Girly boy girly boy, Marron is a girly boy!"
"I AM NOT!!"
"Yes you are, you have a crush onnn...Gaetaeu!!!"
"Eeeew....Carrot, your mind's been in worse places than mine has, and that's pretty damn bad!!" Karmi yelled, turning and looking at him in disgust, having picked up some of their conversation.
"And where exactly has your mind been, my lucious little Karma..." Carrot replied lustily, leaning over to get a better...view. Shudder.
Karmi blinked rapidly, and after several minutes realized Carrot was leaning so that he could see straight down her shirt.
"CARROT! STOP THAT YOU NASTY BOY!" Smmmmaccccck. Red hand print on the cheek. Knee in the stomach. Oooh, Ahhh, that had to hurt.....
"Ooooouuuhhhhh...uuuaaaahhh....Ka-Ka-Karmieeeehhh...tha-a-at hurrrtttt...."
"No dippin' dots Sherlock."
Luna, meanwhile had a score sheet that read: Karmi - 1, Carrot - 0. It also had lots of little morbid luna scribbles on it, but that's besides the point.
Hmmm...if this devolps some more I may have to set up the good old betting tables...Oh yea, I'll be rollin' in the dough... Luna though wickedly to herself, planning on exploiting everyone in every possible way, and not feeling the least bit guilty about it. After all, money is money - pictures of dead white guys and all.
Unexpectedly, Ebbie{Elder Brooks} cleared his throat and it sounded like a train wreck, causing them all to turn around a pay attention. After all, witnessing death by choking on your own saliva is a rare event. Ebbie, however, was not dying, but was pleased with how well is hacking fit had caught the attention of the class.
"Now minnasan...." he began, and was just about to be droned out again, when he pulled forth from the shadows a full scale replica of the female body, and a very detailed on at that. And after that it went like dominos: Carrot staring out right unabashedly bug-eyed and drooling, Gaeteau staring blankly until finally realizing what the hell it was and looking down politely, and Marron, blushing rather profusely at both the replica and his brother's reaction, and also looking down, though for him it was mostly shame and embarrasment of his brother.
The girls were different: Luna groaned loudly, Tira also groaned some, Chocolate, Dota, and Karmi all stared kind of blankly, lost as to what was so important. Juniper was thankful, as now Carrot had something to stare at other than her.
"This is the female body. Here we see the aerole of the breast, and here is the....erm....nipple. The main function of the...." Ebbie stumbled along, a credit to his generation for not giving up completly. Carrot was wondering about multiple OTHER uses for the breast, and was thinking about uttering them out loud when a large yellow object hit him like a giant...something out of the sky. Bouncing off his head and smacking Karmi, the small rubber duck squeaked to a halt on the floor.
Luna, the thrower, had achieved her goal in knocking whatever highly perverted thought he was about to speak out, but inadvertently hitting Karmi, who for several minutes entertained the idea that the sky was falling and screamed and threw a giant fuss, one could only feel sorry for Gaeteau.
The hysteria caught on to the panicky group of Student Population, and in the growing mass confusion, Carrot had groped three girls and had swipped the replica. The students went home early, temporarily postponing the worst that was yet to come.
tbc
AN: WHOA! Took me a long time to get this out!!! Major gomen to anyone who anyone who actually reads my stuff, I really am trying! Kudos to Luna for keeping me on task...I think{rubs poor bashed skull}. Half of this was written on a late night Mountain Dew high so it may seem a little wacky, but I promise I'm really gonna devolp the whole sex-ed thing a lot more in the next chapter{is this a good thing...?}. I want to see more of Chocolate and Gaeteau, and just the charecters in general, because dawg-gonnit, it maybe a comedy, but it's going to be a well-devolped one!!!{erm...no sexual pun intended. bad Carrot bad for making Karmi a hentai! bad boy!}