Chapter 6: Experiments
Sg-1 just stood in the empty infirmary room, as the door opened to reveal several lab technicians carrying various items. General Hammond was still MCing from the observation booth above.
"SG-1, I am going to turn over the mike to Dr. Robert Pfarr, of area 51. He will be leading you in these exercises." Hammond stepped back away from the microphone, and a young, attractive, dark haired guy appeared in the observation window.
"Good afternoon SG-1. The first two lab techs that are entering now, are carrying ordinary lap top computers. Now if..." The doctor was cut off by Jack.
"Did you say your name was Dr. Fire?" Jack was trying to forego the experiments as long as possible.
"Um, no, Colonel, It's Pfarr. As in FAR from home. Is it okay to proceed?" The Dr. wasn't used to Jack's way of doing things and was rather perturbed at the lack of cooperation that he was receiving from the older officer.
"Don't mind the Colonel, Dr. Pfarr, he always stalls like this. Go ahead." Sam shot Jack an 'I'm still annoyed with you for almost knocking me down in the hall, so I'm gonna get you back any way that I can' look. Besides, from where she was standing, the young Dr. Pfarr was rather cute. And tall too, she liked that. Maybe a little too young for her though, she preferred older men. The doctor continued.
"Thank you. As I was saying, the first two technicians are entering with ordinary lap top computers. We would like two of you that are oppositely charged, to take the computers, and type some general information into it. I.E.... your name and birth date, favorite colors, anything really. It doesn't matter. We want to see how the magnetic fields effect the CPU's of the computers, and if the different magnetic charges have any different results."
Sam took one of the computers, and on the other side of the room, Jonas took the other. They began typing random information into the laptops. The Colonel and Teal'c just stared on, the Colonel actually looking a bit hurt because he had nothing to play with. The lab technicians kept taking steps backward to avoid the magnetic fields that surrounded their subjects. For scientists, Jack didn't think they were too bright. No body had informed them that they too should remove all metal from their person. Jack watched with interest as one struggled to discreetly re-adjust his fly. It wasn't working.
Just to be mean, the Colonel stepped closer to the one having difficulty with his pants. The tech didn't even notice. Jack raised his arms up in the air as if stretching. The technician was surprised as his zipper suddenly went up, and to Jack's horror, stopped halfway as it pinched the technician's "personal equipment". The Colonel didn't know what to do. At first, his instinct told him to put his arm down. But Jack had pinched his own sack on a couple of occasions, and the part that always hurt the worst was getting the zipper DOWN. So Jack just stood there with his arms above his head, afraid to move. The technician was no longer trying to be discreet. The poor guy had tears in his eyes, as he looked up at Jack. The Colonel knew what had to be done. In one, swift motion, he brought his arms straight down. The zipper went back down too.
The technician took it as well as any man could in that situation. A small squeal escaped his mouth, just as Sam and Jonas were finishing up with the laptops. The technician could stifle his scream, but when Sam handed the computer back to him, he couldn't hide the tears, that were now rolling down his cheeks.
" Here you go, I knew it wouldn't take long for the CPU's to go haywire after we touched them, I just didn't think it would happen so qu...Are you okay?" Sam saw the technician's red, tear-streaked face, as he turned and left the infirmary room with the laptop under his arm. Sam looked up at the Colonel.
"Was it something I said?" Sam asked in complete sincerity. Jack just looked down at her and shrugged. He unconsciously adjusted the crotch of his own pants in sympathy for the tech. He really hadn't meant to hurt the guy, but apparently nobody else had noticed what had happened. Or so Jack had thought. He looked around the room, and saw Teal'c simply roll his eyes, and then give a single shake of his head.
Jack shrugged his shoulders again, and mouthed "what?" to his Jaffa comrade. As if to say 'how was I supposed to know the guy would get pinched?' The doctor's voice came back over the intercom.
"The next experiment deals with how your magnetic fields attract everyday ordinary objects that we use to work with in the lab, and around the base. Since this facility will be the first step in any de-contamination process, we need to know how various objects are effected."
SG-1 watched as several more technicians entered the infirmary. Jack was given what resembled a microscope. Sam was given different lab tools that were used to modify alien equipment, and she was surprised to see that it was HER stuff that they were handing her.
"Hey this is my stuff! I don't want to ruin it, isn't there anything else we can use?" Sam looked up and asked the doctor in the window.
"Not to worry Major, we didn't bring anything electronic. Mechanically speaking, we just want to see how it is effected. Now please, take the tools." The doctor looked back down at what he was writing in front of him.
"With all due respect, Dr. Pfarr," Sam said without taking the tools from the technician's hand. "Do you understand how a magnet works? By temporarily aligning all of the atoms within the metal, little clusters are created called Domains. When the domains are all aligned in one direction, they are temporarily magnetized. This can either occur by way of another magnet, or by a magnetic field." She stopped to take a breath, and the doctor jumped in before she could begin again.
"I am aware of how a magnet is created major, that's why I was called in for what were supposed to be brief observational experiments. Now if you please, the tools. Then, we will give the objects to Mr. Quinn, and Mr. Teal'c to see the effects of the opposite charge."
Sam was getting frustrated with the civilian scientist.
"First, It's Teal'c. Not MISTER Teal'c. Second, if the domains within the materials of the objects are temporarily magnetized one way, and then temporarily re-arranged the opposite way, who's to say that some of them won't stay permanently magnetized? I won't ever get another accurate reading from this equipment again! Do you have any idea how expensive this stuff is?" Sam could feel her face and ears burning.
"So in other words Dr. Flyer, the Major does not wish to continue with this experiment, so I suggest you move on to the next one!" Jack was struggling to get the microscope out of his hands to hand it back to the technician in front of him. Teal'c and Jonas looked at each other and shook their heads at the mispronunciation of the doctor's name. The doctor didn't put up a fight.
"Very well."
************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Three hours and a dozen more experiments later, it was almost time for dinner. Jack noticed his stomach growl, and looked up at the observation booth.
"Are we done yet?" The Colonel asked the doctor who was still writing away. General Hammond had already left the level, and had gone back to his office over two hours ago, and Janet and Dr. Pfarr were the only ones still left in the booth.
"Yes, Colonel, in fact this is our last scenario, I think you'll find it quite entertaining. It is a rescue scenario. What's going to happen is, two of you who are oppositely charged, are going to go first. One will lie down on the floor, and assume to be injured. The other will attempt a rescue, by running from one side of the infirmary to the other to pull the injured one to safety. The object of the experiment is to get the injured one out of harm's way to the other side of the infirmary, in the quickest amount of time. The experiment will then be repeated with two of you who are charged identically. I'll give you a few moments to decide who will participate." The doctor stepped back from the mike.
"Well, this sounds like fun. Teal'c you get to rescue me, I'll be the injured one. I don't think any of us could pull you anywhere by ourselves. Then, Carter and I will go, and she gets to be the injured one. Jonas? Your job on this mission is to stand there and NOT laugh at us as we try this out. Okay Dr. farm, we're ready." Jack looked up at the observation booth again.
"Just waiting for one more thing. And Colonel? It's PFARR! P-F-A-R-R! Pfarr, got it?"
"Pfarr, got it. Hey what's Siler doing here?" The Colonel asked as Sergeant Siler entered the room above the infirmary.
"That's what I was waiting for, we're incorporating the sounds of gunfire, and staff weapon blasts over the speakers, and dimming the lights to almost nothing to make it seem more real to you. Enjoy!" That said, and the lights immediately dimmed. Sam and Jonas stepped back out of the way of the Colonel and Teal'c, careful not to get too close to each other in the process. The tape played of gunfire and staff blasts. Sam couldn't believe how real it sounded. She'd have to ask Siler later how he came up with it.
The Colonel was at one end of the infirmary, lying on the floor, face down. Teal'c was at the other end in a runners ready stance, waiting for the go ahead. The pseudo gunfire roared in the large empty room.
"Time starts...NOW!" Said the doctor. Teal'c took off at break neck speed. It was hard for Sam and Jonas to keep watch with the lights so low. Teal'c ran so fast, that when he got to O'Neill and their magnetic fields attracted, he tripped over his own shoes, and landed right on the Colonel. It was very tough watching the big Jaffa take a fall, but what came next made up for it.
"OAOAW damn it Teal'c I thought you were supposed to be rescuing me, not injuring me further! Are you trying to kill me? Will you get off of me?!!" The two rolled over and over trying to disconnect themselves. The more they rolled, the more they got stuck.
"Three minutes Colonel." Came Dr. Pfarr's voice over the explosion sounds.
"Colonel, remember what I said about magnets?" Sam shouted over at the struggling pair. "The more you struggle, the harder it is to get disconnected! Roll swiftly in OPPOSITE directions, you should come un-connected then!" Jonas and Sam watched as Teal'c and Jack rolled away from each other, and the Colonel just laid there waiting for Teal'c to come back again. He did.
Teal'c slowly stood up and gently leaned down to grab O'Neill by the waistband of his trousers. His hand was immediately pulled to the Colonel, and Teal'c proceeded to drag the older man to the other side of the infirmary, where he had started from. Two lab technicians helped to separate them when they reached the other side.
"Are your injuries severe O'Neill? It was not my intention to injure you, only to rescue you." Teal'c asked.
"Nah, don't worry about it, I'm fine. You sure could stand to lose a few pounds though. Go ahead and Stand with Jonas, let Carter and I try this now." Jack was brushing himself off as he talked to Teal'c.
" Colonel that was over ten minutes! What would have happened in that span of time on the battlefield? My estimation is that the two of you would have been eliminated. Let's try the second phase of the experiment. Please!"
Sam lay down on the floor in the same position as the Colonel had been in when Teal'c clobbered him. Jack waited for the go ahead.
"Time starts ...Now!" Jack could tell the doctor was getting a kick out of this. He charged to the other side of the room to where Sam lay. Now, they had a problem. As the Colonel reached down for his 2ICs waistband like Teal'c had done, his hand was pushed away by the magnetic field. The closest He could get to her was about half a foot away. The Colonel tried every angle possible, and none would allow him to gain the advantage to where he could grab a hold of Sam.
"Twelve minutes Colonel!" Came the doctor's voice. After fifteen minutes, the doctor stopped the experiment.
"Fifteen minutes Colonel, okay you can quit now." The lights came on, and the fake gunfire stopped. The quiet was welcomed by all. Sam stood up, and dusted herself.
"I don't get it." Jack started in. "What happened? No matter what I tried, I couldn't reach you. What was that?"
"Sir, remember when I told you that because we are magnetically charged the same, our magnetic fields will repel each other? That's what it was. The more we try to touch, the farther away we will be repelled. Like when you were trying to run into me in the hall. Every time you stepped closer to me, I was pushed away. I think that was the whole purpose of the experiment sir. To see what would happen if we sent electro-magnetically charged soldiers into battle. Some of them would be able to help each other, and others wouldn't. Potentially a very dangerous situation sir." Sam finished.
"So no matter how hard I try, I won't even be able to touch you? " The Colonel realized what he'd said as everyone looked at him. "Uh, what I meant was, that if I wanted to... or if I couldn't... or if you were really...uh... never mind. I think I got it." Jack stammered.
"You've got to admit though sir, it would be a great way to control the frat regs." Sam said as the door opened to the infirmary. Remembering his earlier antics, Sam invited the Colonel to ahead of her. "C'mon sir, let's go get some chow. After you." The four headed back to their temporary quarters. Sam had a twinkle in her eye as the Colonel exited the infirmary ahead of her. They were followed by Teal'c and Jonas who were lost in their own conversation.
Dr. Pfarr turned to look down at Dr. Frasier.
"Are they always like that?" He inquired.
"Oh no they are usually much worse." Janet was exiting the observation booth, and Dr. Pfarr heard her continue her sentence as she walked away from him.
"Yes, much, much, much worse."
************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************