The Random Observations Of A Random Observer
Chapter 5: In Which We Meet The Magical Bandaid Fairy and Marron Does The
Commentary
It had been exactly 10 days, 6 hours, 45 minutes, and 21 seconds since *22* Luna had been torn *23* from her world *24* so unkindly and *25* forced to endure *26* this hellish place *27* of sex and *28* drugs and SUNLIGHT.*29* So much fucking *30* sunlight.
*31* . . .*32* . . . *33* . . . *3-DAMNIT!
She had been reduced to counting the SECONDS! *Must think of a plan must think of a plan must think of a plan must think of-*BANG!
Marron: (No that was not a plan.)
OW SHIT MOTHERFUCKER OW OW OW OW OW OW
Marron: (That was a wall.)
DAMNITTTTTTTTTT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN
Marron: (Which has just come into contact with Luna's nose.)
WHY MEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
Marron: (Because Luna was walking around while she attempted to concoct a plan. How dumb.)
I NEED A BANDAID!! * sob sob sob *
Marron: (End commentary.)
*60*
All of the sudden, a giant, disturbingly pink fairy/magical-girl type thing appeared in front of Luna. On her nose was the sanctimonius BANDAID. And, low and behold, on her waist she had AN ENTIRE BOX.
Let us all marvel.
"Hiiii! My name is Twinkie, and I am the Almighty Bandaid Fairy! I am here to cure all your ills and grant to you one, holy bandaid which will heal the world and spread peace, love, and happiness across the universe! Yay!"
Luna raised an eyebrow all the way past her hairline. This chick was some scary shit, yo.
And, making a great show of pink sparklies and dancing around and twirling a glitter filled pompom/baton while homocidal sickly sweet music played in the background, she shouted in a voice so high off the tone scale Kami saw it whiz by on his way to Wal*Mart "HEALING DUCKY BANDAID SUGAR KISS!"
And with that, a small, latex-free, pink bandaid with small ducky print appeared on Luna's nose and peace and love spread across the world and all the universe was at peace.
And then we all remembered Bush was president. Damn, so close.
*111*
But at least now we are no longer scared by the very scary site of Luna crying. So scary.
Luna blinked several times, scowled at the color but conceded that she DID feel a hell of a lot better, and turned to the vast space of pinkness that now occupied her room while the horrible sugar music still played on a barbie boombox about 5 inches tall. It's suprising how much of hell can escape from so small a place.
Quickly crushing and grinding the boombox and using Lysol air-freshener to remove the pink void, she gave a sigh of relief. But that damned fairy was still there.
"Hey, are you going to like, disappear or something?" "I can't." "What?!" "You air-freshenered my teleport station." "WHAT?! Can't you just make another one?!?!" "Nope. All my magical juicy juice is gone." Twitch. Twitch twitch. "Magical...juicy juice?" "Yes! Magical juicy juice! Yay!"
Luna was about to state that fuck it all, she could just run to Wal*Mart and BUY some more, but then she remembered that she was in Spooner, in fact, trying to concoct a plan to get out of Spooner, which had gotten her into this whole mess in the first place. And now she was stuck with this...thing....
"CRAP ON A STICK!" Luna screamed. She screamed it very very loud. In fact, it was so loud, I should probably put it like this: "CRAP ON A STICCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" There. That's better.
And so ends the introduction of our newest character: Twinkie, The Almighty Bandaid Fairy. Courtesy of Luna dearest.
* 176 * (Random Observer: Damnit will you quit that!! Marron: Sorry. I'll try.) (End commentary.)
All of the sudden, out of nowhere, they heard this rather disturbing sentence:
"DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!"
Blink. Blink blink.
And all of the sudden, some guy in black with redd0sh-blonde hair ran through the room. Right past Luna, right past Twinkie The Magicial Bandaid Fairy, and right into the door, with one happy Karmi tailing him and screaming "DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!"
"OW! Shit motherfucker, that HURT!"
"Du-uh, you ran into a door you tard."
"I'm not a tard! Retard damnit!"
"Tarrrrddddd!"
"Agh!"
At this point, there is some wrestling on the ground, and some things that could be construed as sexual harrasament, and some more things that WERE sexual harrasment, before Karmi lost her attention span. It was at this point that she noticed Twinkie.
"Ah! You're PINK! And you have little WINGS! And...and...* gasp * BANDAIDS!"
The Twinkie responded as thus, "Yes, that I do."
-BzzzrRErawesf TECH DIFF dafreajpertttttttttttttt-
Ruroni Kenshin: What the hell am I doing here?! And why is that pink weirdo talking like me, that she is!
Random Observer: You're not even in this story...shoo....
RK: but, I can be in this story if I wish, that I can!
RO: No you can't....* pushes a button. RK dissapears. *
Pikachu: PIKA!
-Bzzzzzzzzzzzz-
Everyone blinked. That was weird. Oh well.
Karmi grabbed the guy in black by his shirt and showed him proudly to Luna. "Lookit what I caught! He was outside!
Luna stared for a couple of moments, looked up at the ceiling and promptly made this comment:
"Why God WHY?! All I did was refer to you as a donkey!"
Karmi blinked, and the black clothes guy said, "Hi, I'm Jade."
"Yes! This is Jade! Who's you're new friend Luna?"
"I'm Twinkie. I'm the Magical Bandaid Fairy!"
"WOW!"
Karmi and Twinkie both skipped off out of Luna's room and to God-knows- where to do God-knows-what. Gee, God sure does know a lot. I wish I was that enlightened. Jade and Luna both stared into the camera screen and questioned, in unision,
"What the fuck are you looking at?"
(End commentary.)
tbc *457*
AN: Ooh, it's been a long time! But I thought this chapter was worth it. We met Twinkie and Jade! XD Yes, they, like myself and Luna, are actual people. More will be coming next chapter. And, I want response on the whole RK thing. Personally, I thought it was amusing, but then again no one's mind works quite like mine. The song 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' is heretofore property of the kick-ass band Aerosmith, which I do not own, and probably never will. and, while I'm at it, that's a kick-ass song too. XD Tchsus!
It had been exactly 10 days, 6 hours, 45 minutes, and 21 seconds since *22* Luna had been torn *23* from her world *24* so unkindly and *25* forced to endure *26* this hellish place *27* of sex and *28* drugs and SUNLIGHT.*29* So much fucking *30* sunlight.
*31* . . .*32* . . . *33* . . . *3-DAMNIT!
She had been reduced to counting the SECONDS! *Must think of a plan must think of a plan must think of a plan must think of-*BANG!
Marron: (No that was not a plan.)
OW SHIT MOTHERFUCKER OW OW OW OW OW OW
Marron: (That was a wall.)
DAMNITTTTTTTTTT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN
Marron: (Which has just come into contact with Luna's nose.)
WHY MEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
Marron: (Because Luna was walking around while she attempted to concoct a plan. How dumb.)
I NEED A BANDAID!! * sob sob sob *
Marron: (End commentary.)
*60*
All of the sudden, a giant, disturbingly pink fairy/magical-girl type thing appeared in front of Luna. On her nose was the sanctimonius BANDAID. And, low and behold, on her waist she had AN ENTIRE BOX.
Let us all marvel.
"Hiiii! My name is Twinkie, and I am the Almighty Bandaid Fairy! I am here to cure all your ills and grant to you one, holy bandaid which will heal the world and spread peace, love, and happiness across the universe! Yay!"
Luna raised an eyebrow all the way past her hairline. This chick was some scary shit, yo.
And, making a great show of pink sparklies and dancing around and twirling a glitter filled pompom/baton while homocidal sickly sweet music played in the background, she shouted in a voice so high off the tone scale Kami saw it whiz by on his way to Wal*Mart "HEALING DUCKY BANDAID SUGAR KISS!"
And with that, a small, latex-free, pink bandaid with small ducky print appeared on Luna's nose and peace and love spread across the world and all the universe was at peace.
And then we all remembered Bush was president. Damn, so close.
*111*
But at least now we are no longer scared by the very scary site of Luna crying. So scary.
Luna blinked several times, scowled at the color but conceded that she DID feel a hell of a lot better, and turned to the vast space of pinkness that now occupied her room while the horrible sugar music still played on a barbie boombox about 5 inches tall. It's suprising how much of hell can escape from so small a place.
Quickly crushing and grinding the boombox and using Lysol air-freshener to remove the pink void, she gave a sigh of relief. But that damned fairy was still there.
"Hey, are you going to like, disappear or something?" "I can't." "What?!" "You air-freshenered my teleport station." "WHAT?! Can't you just make another one?!?!" "Nope. All my magical juicy juice is gone." Twitch. Twitch twitch. "Magical...juicy juice?" "Yes! Magical juicy juice! Yay!"
Luna was about to state that fuck it all, she could just run to Wal*Mart and BUY some more, but then she remembered that she was in Spooner, in fact, trying to concoct a plan to get out of Spooner, which had gotten her into this whole mess in the first place. And now she was stuck with this...thing....
"CRAP ON A STICK!" Luna screamed. She screamed it very very loud. In fact, it was so loud, I should probably put it like this: "CRAP ON A STICCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" There. That's better.
And so ends the introduction of our newest character: Twinkie, The Almighty Bandaid Fairy. Courtesy of Luna dearest.
* 176 * (Random Observer: Damnit will you quit that!! Marron: Sorry. I'll try.) (End commentary.)
All of the sudden, out of nowhere, they heard this rather disturbing sentence:
"DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!"
Blink. Blink blink.
And all of the sudden, some guy in black with redd0sh-blonde hair ran through the room. Right past Luna, right past Twinkie The Magicial Bandaid Fairy, and right into the door, with one happy Karmi tailing him and screaming "DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!"
"OW! Shit motherfucker, that HURT!"
"Du-uh, you ran into a door you tard."
"I'm not a tard! Retard damnit!"
"Tarrrrddddd!"
"Agh!"
At this point, there is some wrestling on the ground, and some things that could be construed as sexual harrasament, and some more things that WERE sexual harrasment, before Karmi lost her attention span. It was at this point that she noticed Twinkie.
"Ah! You're PINK! And you have little WINGS! And...and...* gasp * BANDAIDS!"
The Twinkie responded as thus, "Yes, that I do."
-BzzzrRErawesf TECH DIFF dafreajpertttttttttttttt-
Ruroni Kenshin: What the hell am I doing here?! And why is that pink weirdo talking like me, that she is!
Random Observer: You're not even in this story...shoo....
RK: but, I can be in this story if I wish, that I can!
RO: No you can't....* pushes a button. RK dissapears. *
Pikachu: PIKA!
-Bzzzzzzzzzzzz-
Everyone blinked. That was weird. Oh well.
Karmi grabbed the guy in black by his shirt and showed him proudly to Luna. "Lookit what I caught! He was outside!
Luna stared for a couple of moments, looked up at the ceiling and promptly made this comment:
"Why God WHY?! All I did was refer to you as a donkey!"
Karmi blinked, and the black clothes guy said, "Hi, I'm Jade."
"Yes! This is Jade! Who's you're new friend Luna?"
"I'm Twinkie. I'm the Magical Bandaid Fairy!"
"WOW!"
Karmi and Twinkie both skipped off out of Luna's room and to God-knows- where to do God-knows-what. Gee, God sure does know a lot. I wish I was that enlightened. Jade and Luna both stared into the camera screen and questioned, in unision,
"What the fuck are you looking at?"
(End commentary.)
tbc *457*
AN: Ooh, it's been a long time! But I thought this chapter was worth it. We met Twinkie and Jade! XD Yes, they, like myself and Luna, are actual people. More will be coming next chapter. And, I want response on the whole RK thing. Personally, I thought it was amusing, but then again no one's mind works quite like mine. The song 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' is heretofore property of the kick-ass band Aerosmith, which I do not own, and probably never will. and, while I'm at it, that's a kick-ass song too. XD Tchsus!