AAAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnndd here's another songfic to Hurt by Nine Inch Nails.
Why did the creepy old dead guy get nominated for an award for ripping this
song off? Why?
Chapter 3: Hurt
Memories are a double edged sword. They can either give you joy, motivate you and inspire you to carry on, or they can be a burden greater than any physical load. Bones can be mended when stress causes them to fracture. But memories do a different kind of damage that no one can fully understand, so no one can fully fix. Johnny had his share of cuts and scrapes from that sword. He knew those were there, accepted them and allowed them to heal, then moved on. It was the wide open gashes oh his mind that he tried so hard to forget, to erase from existence. Like an open wound they remained wide open as they were ignored, slowly dripping sanity as a physical cut would blood.
The latest cut that was sure to widen to the point where amnesia would eventually be necessary had just been etched into him by someone he had hoped in vain would never do that. A Nine Inch Nails CD played as the background music in the battlegrounds of his thoughts.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
He knew he should get the glass out of his arms. The pain it made him feel was only a reminder of what was going on internally. He saw from his reflection in the one shard of glass left in the far right side of the mirror that his outside and inside probably didn't look very different. The little pieces of glass sank deeper into his arm as he lifted it. No, escape through the mirror wouldn't be possible. Only in fairytales.
The needle tears a hole
That old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
"Immortalize the moment? How stupid could I be?" He strained his mind to recall a time before all of this. Before the bloody wall and the beautiful girls. But it seemed like memories stolen from another person. "What could have happened that made me end up like this?"
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
All the girls were beautiful in their own special ways, each adding a new volume to his collection of brief but pleasant memories. If only they didn't have to leave so soon. Mostly his last memories of them weren't any different than the ones before, but from time to time one would live for a few seconds after the initial stab, shock or any other method he had used to kill them. On their face was a mix of shock, horror and pain, just what Johnny wanted to use them to escape.
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
But worse yet was the one that got away. Not only was he unable to freeze those few moments of ecstasy in time, but he would have lived through one hundred bloody corpses and guilt provoking last words with a smile in exchange for a second chance at tonight.
I wear my crown of shit
On my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
"Devi. If I could only do everything over again, it would have been different. Whether that means I would have my way or you would have yours, I don't know. I just know it has to be better than this." But she would never hear him. Neither would any of the others; their shallow graves were not within earshot.
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here
"If only", he thought, "You could disappear as easily as the notes of this song. It's beautiful in a unique, bittersweet way. And so were you."
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
He sang along with the last verse of the song, as it resonated with him the most. He closed his eyes, wishing to escape through the mirror, to sleep and wake up as someone else, or at some other time where he could have changed everything.
"But no. The moment is immortalized."
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find
A way
Chapter 3: Hurt
Memories are a double edged sword. They can either give you joy, motivate you and inspire you to carry on, or they can be a burden greater than any physical load. Bones can be mended when stress causes them to fracture. But memories do a different kind of damage that no one can fully understand, so no one can fully fix. Johnny had his share of cuts and scrapes from that sword. He knew those were there, accepted them and allowed them to heal, then moved on. It was the wide open gashes oh his mind that he tried so hard to forget, to erase from existence. Like an open wound they remained wide open as they were ignored, slowly dripping sanity as a physical cut would blood.
The latest cut that was sure to widen to the point where amnesia would eventually be necessary had just been etched into him by someone he had hoped in vain would never do that. A Nine Inch Nails CD played as the background music in the battlegrounds of his thoughts.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
He knew he should get the glass out of his arms. The pain it made him feel was only a reminder of what was going on internally. He saw from his reflection in the one shard of glass left in the far right side of the mirror that his outside and inside probably didn't look very different. The little pieces of glass sank deeper into his arm as he lifted it. No, escape through the mirror wouldn't be possible. Only in fairytales.
The needle tears a hole
That old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
"Immortalize the moment? How stupid could I be?" He strained his mind to recall a time before all of this. Before the bloody wall and the beautiful girls. But it seemed like memories stolen from another person. "What could have happened that made me end up like this?"
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
All the girls were beautiful in their own special ways, each adding a new volume to his collection of brief but pleasant memories. If only they didn't have to leave so soon. Mostly his last memories of them weren't any different than the ones before, but from time to time one would live for a few seconds after the initial stab, shock or any other method he had used to kill them. On their face was a mix of shock, horror and pain, just what Johnny wanted to use them to escape.
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
But worse yet was the one that got away. Not only was he unable to freeze those few moments of ecstasy in time, but he would have lived through one hundred bloody corpses and guilt provoking last words with a smile in exchange for a second chance at tonight.
I wear my crown of shit
On my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
"Devi. If I could only do everything over again, it would have been different. Whether that means I would have my way or you would have yours, I don't know. I just know it has to be better than this." But she would never hear him. Neither would any of the others; their shallow graves were not within earshot.
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here
"If only", he thought, "You could disappear as easily as the notes of this song. It's beautiful in a unique, bittersweet way. And so were you."
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
He sang along with the last verse of the song, as it resonated with him the most. He closed his eyes, wishing to escape through the mirror, to sleep and wake up as someone else, or at some other time where he could have changed everything.
"But no. The moment is immortalized."
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find
A way