**Disclaimer: I don't own Tomb Raider or Lara Croft. But I do have a statue of her! I had to outrun someone to get that. Go me!**
**Author Insanity: WEEEEEE!!!!! I was looking back at my old video's I'd taped of the Tomb Raider games (Yes, I taped parts of the games. They make me laugh. Don't like it? Bite me.), and decided I wanted to write fanfics about all the parts where she died. Why? *shruggs* Too much free time on my hands. These will make no sense, nor will they have a point. I don't expect them to be good, but hey, judge for yourself. *jumps off cliff* *climbs back up* Oh yeah, these will be short. *jumps back off* MEEEEEEE!!*
The Caves
Hmm. Lara poked the man's arm. Well, he sure was dead. She shrugged and walked in through the heavy stone doors. The doors slammed shut behind her, making her jump a little. She slipped off her sunglasses and tossed them into her backpack, then started forward on her adventure -- and was snapped sharply back.
She winced and turned her head, only to find her braid closed in the doors.
"Oh hell!" She wrapped both hands around it and tugged. It didn't budge. Lara braced one foot against the doors and pulled as hard as she could, ripping free her braid and landing with a loud WHUMP on her butt in the snow. 'Great start girl. Next why don't we walk off a cliff.' ((HEY!! Maybe she will! Who knows!)) Lara brushed herself off and half walked, half slid down the slope in front of her, following the wolf tracks further into the cave.
The dart trap was simple to get past, evidently whoever invented it didn't think that a person could just crawl under them. Dumbass. She kept her pistols out while stomping through the next area, downing the few bats that flapped at her. She glanced into the area to her left, but there was nothing of interest ((Author is hiding in hole with squirt gun. But I have my eyes closed, so nobody can see me!)), so she moved on.
The next area was curved downward and covered in slippery moss, and appeared to the untrained eye a dead end. Lara however knew better. She slid down the first slope and yanked away some of the vines covering a hole in the floor. She dropped into it and walked down the narrow hallway beyond. The door was shut, but the switch was right next to it.
"Why even have the switch if it's right next to the door?" She shook her head and pulled the switch, then turned to face the door. "Oh..." was all she got out before the door swung up from the floor and knocked her back several feet. ((Ingenious!!))
Lara stood up and shook her head a few times to clear the stars then stumbled forward. So far, this was NOT going well at all. The next area had a large doorway blocked off by a fence, which she learned after several shoulder thrusts, was not giving way. Lara sighed and looked up, spotting a hole in the roof, as well as some rocks and ledges that looked climbable leading up to it. ((Suspicious, no?))
She pulled herself up and poked her head up. Nothing. Well, there were rocks and the like, but you know, nothing important. ((HEE!)) She stepped out onto a ledge high above a well lit room with two bridges spanning the enormous gap between ledges. She ignored the wolves howling below her and made her way across the room. Lara jogged through the next open doorway and stopped when she hit the end of the ledge. Across from her were ornate pillars with a large glowy purple crystal. ((GAME SAVE!!!!!! Remember kids, saving your game saves videogame's lives.)) She was about to leap across when she noticed a doorway in the lower right corner of the ditch below her. 'Well why not.'
Lara dropped down and looked in, not noticing the large bear behind her until it was right on her. ((I know what you're thinking. Bear mauls her to death right? *shruggs* I dunno.)) For some odd reason, she didn't even think about drawing her pistols, she turned tail and ran down the hallway.
The door was closed.
However, there was a large concrete slab with an tribal design on it. 'Pressure sensitive I bet.' She raced the last few feet and hurried onto the switch. Her heart leapt into her throat , soon followed by her stomach as the tile dropped beneath her, dropping her face first into the spikes.
**********
Wow. I can't believe I wrote that. As you could tell, I wasn't going for realism. Now before you complain or flame me, I don't think of Lara as being this stupid, this idea just popped into my head, so.....here ya go. I'm going to write more of these, regardless of what people think, but I would like reviews. I love the little reviews. I love them good. Now, if you would like to flame me, go right ahead. I need something to laugh about.
I'm going to seperate all of these chapters into the games they belong. Hence: The Caves level is from Tomb Raider 1, and...you get the pic. More insanity to come soon. BAI!!!!!
~~Jessy A.
**Author Insanity: WEEEEEE!!!!! I was looking back at my old video's I'd taped of the Tomb Raider games (Yes, I taped parts of the games. They make me laugh. Don't like it? Bite me.), and decided I wanted to write fanfics about all the parts where she died. Why? *shruggs* Too much free time on my hands. These will make no sense, nor will they have a point. I don't expect them to be good, but hey, judge for yourself. *jumps off cliff* *climbs back up* Oh yeah, these will be short. *jumps back off* MEEEEEEE!!*
The Caves
Hmm. Lara poked the man's arm. Well, he sure was dead. She shrugged and walked in through the heavy stone doors. The doors slammed shut behind her, making her jump a little. She slipped off her sunglasses and tossed them into her backpack, then started forward on her adventure -- and was snapped sharply back.
She winced and turned her head, only to find her braid closed in the doors.
"Oh hell!" She wrapped both hands around it and tugged. It didn't budge. Lara braced one foot against the doors and pulled as hard as she could, ripping free her braid and landing with a loud WHUMP on her butt in the snow. 'Great start girl. Next why don't we walk off a cliff.' ((HEY!! Maybe she will! Who knows!)) Lara brushed herself off and half walked, half slid down the slope in front of her, following the wolf tracks further into the cave.
The dart trap was simple to get past, evidently whoever invented it didn't think that a person could just crawl under them. Dumbass. She kept her pistols out while stomping through the next area, downing the few bats that flapped at her. She glanced into the area to her left, but there was nothing of interest ((Author is hiding in hole with squirt gun. But I have my eyes closed, so nobody can see me!)), so she moved on.
The next area was curved downward and covered in slippery moss, and appeared to the untrained eye a dead end. Lara however knew better. She slid down the first slope and yanked away some of the vines covering a hole in the floor. She dropped into it and walked down the narrow hallway beyond. The door was shut, but the switch was right next to it.
"Why even have the switch if it's right next to the door?" She shook her head and pulled the switch, then turned to face the door. "Oh..." was all she got out before the door swung up from the floor and knocked her back several feet. ((Ingenious!!))
Lara stood up and shook her head a few times to clear the stars then stumbled forward. So far, this was NOT going well at all. The next area had a large doorway blocked off by a fence, which she learned after several shoulder thrusts, was not giving way. Lara sighed and looked up, spotting a hole in the roof, as well as some rocks and ledges that looked climbable leading up to it. ((Suspicious, no?))
She pulled herself up and poked her head up. Nothing. Well, there were rocks and the like, but you know, nothing important. ((HEE!)) She stepped out onto a ledge high above a well lit room with two bridges spanning the enormous gap between ledges. She ignored the wolves howling below her and made her way across the room. Lara jogged through the next open doorway and stopped when she hit the end of the ledge. Across from her were ornate pillars with a large glowy purple crystal. ((GAME SAVE!!!!!! Remember kids, saving your game saves videogame's lives.)) She was about to leap across when she noticed a doorway in the lower right corner of the ditch below her. 'Well why not.'
Lara dropped down and looked in, not noticing the large bear behind her until it was right on her. ((I know what you're thinking. Bear mauls her to death right? *shruggs* I dunno.)) For some odd reason, she didn't even think about drawing her pistols, she turned tail and ran down the hallway.
The door was closed.
However, there was a large concrete slab with an tribal design on it. 'Pressure sensitive I bet.' She raced the last few feet and hurried onto the switch. Her heart leapt into her throat , soon followed by her stomach as the tile dropped beneath her, dropping her face first into the spikes.
**********
Wow. I can't believe I wrote that. As you could tell, I wasn't going for realism. Now before you complain or flame me, I don't think of Lara as being this stupid, this idea just popped into my head, so.....here ya go. I'm going to write more of these, regardless of what people think, but I would like reviews. I love the little reviews. I love them good. Now, if you would like to flame me, go right ahead. I need something to laugh about.
I'm going to seperate all of these chapters into the games they belong. Hence: The Caves level is from Tomb Raider 1, and...you get the pic. More insanity to come soon. BAI!!!!!
~~Jessy A.