That's Childish, So Childish. . .
Chapter Twenty-Three: You're Much Too Kind. . .
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Disclaimer--Don't own GW. Just enjoy the perks without the hassle of turning away all the other fans demanding the opportunity to buy the rights. ;)
Notes: Sorry to be so slow getting this chapter done. Between a sudden overload of projects requiring a fair portion of creative BS, Finals, and pulled tendons half-ruining my elbow (how do you type without leaning on something?!?), it's slow going right now (especially as the elbow's gonna take at least a month to be good enough to lean on again). But hey, I haven't stopped! And I finally figured out how Dermail is to die. Yay. :)
Warnings--Perhaps mild swearing (just by me at the end). A touch of sadness. Some perkiness. . . to annoying extents. Reasons why Disney should never be substituted for a babysitter. Or Relena, for that matter.
Zechs heads for bed, and runs into a shadow who wants answers. Architecture is briefly studied. Relena almost throws a monkey-wrench into the alliance. . . and causes the first fight between siblings, ever! Well, kinda, anyway. . . Duo gets glomphed.
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Duo heard the door click shut quietly, and leaned his back heavily against the window. Quiet, tired steps rustled beyond his field of vision, the accompanying hiss of cloth suggesting that the room's owner was intent on getting to bed.
//I wonder if I'm wrong, and he'll try sleeping in bed tonight. Then I'll have to go to him. . . I don't want to startle him, though--I just want to talk. Yeah, talk--God, Duo, the kid barely talks already, and now you want the impossible out of him! But he /needs/ to talk. . .//
Dark blue eyes flicked to the shadow of a fluffy teddy bear ensconced in rumpled throws on the chair beside him. //You aren't enough, Ted. For a real young kid, maybe, but an adult in trouble, you need human contact. For kids, too, often enough, now that I think about it. Father taught me that. . .//
The faint pricking of threatening tears at the corners of his eyes made Duo brush those memories aside with a burst of will and a black sleeve, and refocus on his primary objective here.
Footsteps padded closer. . .
Duo straightened, and set his shoulders back, pulling off his black cap and looking expectantly at the moonlit entrance to the dining room. //Well, Father also always said a little prayer can't hurt. So, wish me luck, Big Guy. Hey, if anyone can give me any, You can! And I think I'm gonna need it for Zechs. . .//
Zechs trotted into the room, busily pulling his arm into the second sleeve of a borrowed robe too large for him, not very aware of his surroundings or how the warm cloth trailed behind him like a pale robe of state. A loose T- shirt and ragged-legged loose pants made up his sleeping attire, clearly borrowed as well, but comfortable. The boy must have been very tired, for his senses didn't warn him of another presence in the dim moonlight of the room until he was halfway to the chair.
Then that pale head jerked up in Duo's direction, and he froze mid-step, hands caught fussing at a too-long robe sleeve. . . Icy eyes widened in a panic.
"Hey, um. . . ," Duo began hesitantly, taking a step to close the distance, reaching a hand out in an automatic move to catch a bony shoulder and keep the target from running off.
Almost immediately, before even completing the motion, the look in those eyes told Duo he made a big mistake. //Oh damn--!//
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Miri hadn't expected anyone in his room, and the first thing he encountered was a whirl of mixed emotions: anger, at himself for being caught so foolishly off-guard; terror, the residue of those old memories of Sanc; blinding panic, borne of newer but equally terrible memories. Panic won out, guided by cues he didn't realize he was picking up: someone looking down at him with a smile, something flopping like a rope behind him, a hand reaching to grab, dark clothes--especially boots. . . He remembered boots very well, suddenly--slamming steel toes into his ribs and guts, leaving him to choke for air as other blows fell on his back and head, knowing through the ensuing pain that the worst would come when he could no longer move, defend himself--
//No! Get away!// Backpedaling instantly, Zechs tripped over the overlong robe's tail, slamming onto the floor on his side, but he hit scrambling frantically as a cat with its tail on fire.
"Hey--wait!"
All the boy registered was that it was a familiar voice--he didn't try to place it, though, as he flung himself towards the door and escape like a wild creature, frantic. //Got to get out, get away--not again! I can't take it again!// He wasn't even sure what "it" he was referring to, other than some undefined horror sitting in the darkest recesses of his mind. Terror bound rational thought in tight webbing. //Run--run--RUN!!!//
Arms grabbed him from behind, plucking him off his feet at his first lunge for the door--he kicked wildly and tore at them with his hands, but they held like steel even though he felt his feet connecting with bony shins and fingernails drawing blood from those larger hands. They gave him a firm shake instead, rattling his teeth.
Zechs just closed his eyes and went still, panting like a terrified bird through clenched teeth and waiting for something to hurt. //Please no. . . No, please no. . . Please. . .// Nobody had ever listened to the silent, hopeless plea before, but he couldn't stop it from echoing in his head, as if that litany was all that would let him survive the ordeal he knew was coming. //No. . . Please. . . no. . .//
Another shake, not so rough this time. "I'm not going to hurt you." The tone was almost angry, though quiet. "Relax, okay? Just me here--Duo. You /know/ I don't lie."
//Duo?//
"I'm not going to hurt you, okay?"
Miri's eyes opened, and hesitantly he peered over his shoulder, uncertain of what he would see. But the anxious dark blue eyes, genial face, and unruly coppery bangs of Duo's familiar face were there, reassuring and unthreatening. . .
The boy blinked a moment, feeling the rigid chains of his panic melting away. . . to a flicker of weary anger. //I /told/ you not to do this!// "Treize at least /says/ something before he startles me," Zechs grumbled, taking a deep breath to calm his breathing back down.
Duo breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry--forgot. What with all the other things going on, it slipped my mind. Especially as there's little reason to catch you at night, when it's easier to do so in daylight. You're not going to run on me again, are you? We need to talk."
//Talk. . . What's so urgent that it has to be now? I'm tired. . . Though I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now, after this. Not well, anyway.// Miri shook his head firmly, and sighed softly as Duo set him back down on his feet. Once again he began fiddling with the over-long sleeves, folding them back neatly one at a time.
It gave him an excuse not to look Duo in the eye, however, as the boy asked, "Talk about what?" //I don't want to talk about. . . my past. I've had enough of that for one lifetime, let alone one day. Just leave me alone, Duo. . .//
"You keep running off, hiding. . . keeping it all inside. It's going to destroy you, Zechs. You aren't talking, there's nobody to physically vent it on, and you said yourself that you can't withstand it forever! Just /talk/ to someone--let it out, it doesn't matter to who, before--before--" Duo stopped, biting off the rest of what he intended to say.
"Before. . . ?"
"Before we lose you," Duo finished quietly.
Icy eyes stared blankly at the sleeve he was folding back, hands very still a long moment. //I. . . I /should/ talk to someone. It's just. . . Why can't I? Why is it so hard? Maybe. . . I'm just a coward. Tallgeese proved that already. I'm afraid. Afraid to break down my own defenses and reveal the coward I really am. Afraid to be weak. . . especially now, when I need to be strong.//
"I don't know if I /can/," Zechs whispered softly. "Or if I dare. . . Just going back there--looking at my Father's picture--"
Images jumped before his eyes at just the mentioning of today's events. //I'm sorry. . . I'm sorry. . .//
"--I don't know what happened. I think--I think I lost it there. 05-- Wufei--had to shake me out of it. I don't know what might have happened if he wasn't there. I wanted to face the memories. I /think/ I've some control over them now, but if I don't. . . ?"
When he looked up, Duo was smiling wryly down at him. "Well, I think any one of us is capable of shaking you back into reality again. Hey, if Wufei can, it can't be /that/ hard! I did it just now, didn't I?" he laughed, one hand gesturing towards the door, hinting of Zechs's goal only a few minutes earlier.
//He's right. . . And--he /did/. What he just did--it's not that different from what Wufei had to do to help me escape the memories.// That realization brought a measure of hope and relief with it, which his tired heart and soul sorely needed. //Then that's just an excuse to myself, an excuse not to. . . Ah, God, of all things to be made into, why did I /have/ to become a /child/? I can't even reason with myself anymore!// "I. . . I suppose you're right," he answered quietly, looking back down at his sleeve and resuming folding. "You did."
He could almost hear Duo nodding firmly. "Hey, you just have to pick one of us and a time to sit down for a long talk in private. We're a closed- mouthed group. Maybe Sally might want to hear some of it for medical purposes, but I don't see why anything that's said or done might get blabbed around afterwards."
//Reassuring to know. . . I guess. . . I guess I should gather my courage and do it finally. I wish it weren't so hard to /find/ my courage right now, though. I could have sworn I had more somewhere. . . but I just feel so afraid. Of so many things.// Done with the sleeve, Miri hugged his arms around himself, closing his eyes. "I. . . I will. . . Just. . . not tonight. I don't think I can take any more today," he admitted shyly, ashamed.
Carefully, warm arms closed around him slowly to avoid startling him this time, holding him loosely against cloth as black as night and warm as a teddy bear. . . and as reassuring as a parent's embrace. "It's alright," Duo's voice murmured gently just over his head. "It's alright, kiddo. . . Soon as you're ready. But make it /soon/, Zechs, because I don't think we can take any more pranks like last time!"
Zechs had stiffened ever-so-slightly at that loose hug, but Duo's last words drew a weak laugh from him, easing some of the tension in his body. //I need this,// he decided, surprised. //It's. . . not the most comfortable thing right now, but I /need/ it. I guess I really /am/ a kid now. . .//
Resting his head against Duo's ribs, Miri focused on relaxing, keeping his eyes closed, letting his body re-adjust slowly, to begin healing from old trauma, to learn to recognize what reassuring physical contact meant again. And Duo simply held him, firmly but not confining, as if the lone survivor of the Maxwell Tragedy knew exactly what he needed. . . and why.
//Our tragedies aren't so different, perhaps. . .//
The boy knew then and there who he would tell his terrors to. . .
//He understands me better than I do right now.//
"You can tell them to relax. . . I'm not up to it tonight."
Zechs felt the vibration of Duo's chuckles under his cheek before he heard them echo softly over his head.
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Relena rubbed at her eyes, feeling very tired though the morning had just begun. //I thought I outgrew those nightmares long ago. . .// Confusing flashes, a tangle of images that carried with them an overtone of fear and loneliness, she couldn't remember them all when she woke. Something about fire. . . ? Fire and booming sounds, a sickly smell, a soft red blanket with pink flowers on it and intense light-blue eyes that stared briefly into her own. . .
Eyes of a nightmare?
//No. . . but something important, that's all I know, deep in my heart. I wish I knew who, though.//
Smoothing her skirt one final time, the young princess picked up her notes for today's talk to the class full of peace-oriented students, and scanned them over carefully. Not an easy concept to teach others, the Peace Principle. Well, perhaps the Principle itself was easy, but how to achieve and maintain it in today's world was a challenge to figure out. Relena didn't lie to herself--she wasn't sure she knew how to achieve it herself. But people were counting on her. . .
//The people of Sanc. . . Heero, his friends, his alliance. . . My brother. Brother? I wish I knew more about that--could it really be true, that he exists? And if so, what is he doing, why is he leaving all this to me when he's the elder, where is he, and why is he hiding from me of all people? I should talk to Pagan after class. So many questions. . .// Shaking her head, Relena gathered the notes together neatly in her hands and turned away from her desk.
//Heero is counting on me. I don't want to fail him. . .//
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to her suite and juggled the notes into her other hand, backing into the hall and reaching to shut the door--
--and collided with someone!
The impact rammed her into the doorjamb, scattering the notes from her hand to drift to the floor like a flutter of feathers, drawing a cry of dismay from her as they lost their sequence. Offended mildly by this unwanted delay, she whirled to look at the one who'd run into her.
//A. . . girl?// For a moment, long hair gave Relena the impression that she had run into a girl, but only for a moment, as the sharp planes of his face suggested otherwise. //No, a boy. I've never seen him before, I'm sure of it.//
He'd fared not quite as well as she, having ended up sitting on the polished hallway floor, braced up on his arms, blinking at her in surprise with large eyes, white drifting around him as well--only in his case, paper didn't settle about his shoulders and the floor in a wild mass, but long pale hair did.
//Such a strange boy.// Those wide eyes refused to blink, but seemed to stare right /through/ her, as if something behind her mesmerized him. //I wonder if he's alright?// Perhaps he'd been hurt by the fall.
"Are you alright?" she asked quietly, uncertainly, reaching a hand out to help him up.
The young boy blinked, gaze adjusting to focus on her, and opened his mouth- -but nothing came out, for all his efforts. Eyes flicking to her hand, he cringed back before daring to glance up at her through a long fringe of blonde hair and nod shyly.
Relena let her hand drop back to her side, feeling a twinge of hurt. //It's as if he's almost afraid of me. Does he know who I am? Why would he be afraid of me?//
"Bother," she sighed, looking around at the notes scattered haphazardly on the floor. //I really should get moving, or I'll be late. I should do something to reassure him, though--I don't want him to think I'm some terrible tyrant princess.// Kneeling, she began scooping them together, trying to fit them in order again. "What's your name?" she offered gently, glancing over to give him a warm smile.
Caught clambering back to his feet, uncertain ice-blue eyes blinked at her fearfully as he straightened. Probably not more than seven years old, she'd guess, but those clothes had to be hand-me-downs: too worn and poor- fitting to have been bought for him. A too-large T-shirt of faded blue, loose too-long pale pants folded at the ankles, sandals that hung loose on his feet. . . His family must be poor, perhaps one of the locals hired as servants by Pagan.
He only stared at her, expression almost painful under her scrutiny, not answering her question, seemingly frozen by her attention.
Lifting her notes to her breast, Relena straightened as well, brushing at her skirt self-consciously. //I wonder who his parents are. And what he's been told about me. . .// "I'm not going to get you in trouble--it was only an accident," she tried hopefully.
"I. . ." His voice was so quiet she almost missed the words, and it sounded surprisingly low for his age. "I. . . I'm sorry. . ." The look in his eyes screamed that he desperately wanted to hide right now, but the corridor offered him no such opportunity with its bare furnishings and broad expanse. That tense stance gave her the impression of a nervous deer caught in the open spread of a large field, not knowing whether to fight or flee.
//At least he's polite,// the young princess sighed to herself. //I don't think he can help being afraid. . . Perhaps he's lost? I bet that's it-- he's new here, and it's all so strange, and he knows nobody, not even where to go, really. Poor thing.//
"Are you lost?" Relena asked brightly, convinced that it /must/ be the explanation. //I can help that. It's the least I can do for the poor bewildered thing.//
Icy eyes blinked at her, in a dazed sort of way. For some reason, they reminded her of something. . . someone. . . but she couldn't pinpoint what or who exactly.
//No matter. I'll remember in good time.// "I bet you're supposed to be at the children's teaching rooms downstairs," she stated with conviction, beaming at him. "I think all the children were going to the Science Museum today--they've probably left by now--but I'm sure you can watch some tapes until they return!"
If she hadn't thought it already impossible, she would have sworn those large eyes /widened/. Probably at her powers of deduction.
//I can spare a few minutes to get him settled there and leave Miss Magdalen a note about a new student.// Before the boy could answer--if he was going to at all--Relena jumped forward and grabbed at his wrist.
The strange boy pulled back, startled, but didn't move far enough to escape her hand imprisoning his in a grip he couldn't break. His mouth opened in a gasp--those large eyes narrowed angrily--
But Relena didn't pause to let him protest. She began pulling him along the hall towards the stairs, certain this was the right thing to do and oblivious to the boy's discomfort and dragging feet. //Poor thing's probably very embarrassed. Well, he'll be alright once we get there and he sees for himself that nobody's going to chew him out over so small a thing here.//
Towing the boy in her wake like an unruly puppy, Relena cheerfully suggested, "I'm quite sure there's a whole archive of Disney movies you can choose from. . . How about 'Snow White for starters?"
The groan behind her was probably just a creak in the floor.
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//I'm glad Howard's got that taken care of. We're going to need Wing in top shape soon, I bet. And Heero's looking pleased,// Duo observed the silent pilot trotting beside him through the hall. //Well, as pleased as he ever does, I suppose. I /think/ that tilt at the corners of his mouth are hints of a smile. . .//
"Well, hey, we'll have some good news to give others once we get to the conference room," Duo congratulated himself out loud. "Great that Howard's got the spare parts that Rashid said we need, huh?"
"Hn." A grunt was the only reply.
//Well, Heero's never one to waste words. . .// "And it was nice of Relena to give Treize permission to snag that conference room. That kitchen's a bit too small to cram us all in comfortably, I think."
"Hn."
//Or maybe I'm talking to myself.// "I bet Quatre's got a whole typed report ready for us on what we can use for that raid, too, by now. I think I saw him typing it up this morning."
"Hn." The intonation didn't seem to change.
//I /have/ to be talking to Heero. I get more conversation from talking to myself!// "Between him, Rashid, and Miss Noin, I think we've got all we want and more if we need it. They're all prepared all the time for the worst, it seems."
"Hn."
//Is he some kind of robot? Am I even getting through? Better try something wild.// "Did you know Dorothy snores like a lumberjack with a head cold? And that Treize has a pink tu-tu in his size in his luggage?" the braided pilot tried blandly.
"Hn."
//I give up!// Duo wailed mentally upon hearing that familiar sound again, looking at the ceiling for divine support to lend him patience. "Heero, I swear, you've all the vocabulary of a dead lemming sometimes. . ."
But looking next to him again, Duo found that familiar presence suddenly gone. "Heero?" he asked, blinking, before looking over his shoulder.
//Was it something I said?//
Ah, there he was! Heero had stopped in his tracks a few paces back, and was staring at an open stairwell, frowning.
//Huh? I wonder what's up?//
Concerned, Duo walked back, taking position just behind Heero's left shoulder, and tilting his head as he studied the same object of scrutiny. It seemed normal enough--marble floor tiles, a soft carved wooden railing of elaborate quality, potted plants in the corners of the landings, paintings decorating the walls, a window to let in light. . . And empty.
//I think the stairwell is winning,// The braided pilot decided, looking from unblinking comrade to architecture and back curiously.
Duo scratched the back of his braid pensively. //To ask or not to ask. . . Ah hell, he hasn't killed me yet for chatting. Ask, then.// "Hey, Heero. . . what's with. . . ?" A hand gestured at the stairwell under observation.
Heero actually frowned a little more, then scratched absently at an unruly bang that tickled his forehead. "I thought I just saw Zechs," he admitted, as if not certain he saw what he thought he saw.
//Um. . . Okay, well Zechs is coming to this meeting, I imagine.// That little wasn't enlightening enough, for all Duo struggled to see how this was a concern. So he waited.
"He looked as if he thought Relena was taking him outside for public execution."
//What? WHO?// "Relena was /what/?" Duo demanded, feeling his stomach cramp in worry.
Heero just blinked at him, and gave his words time to settle in.
"Here?" Deathscythe's pilot choked, gesturing at the stairwell.
Heero waited patiently.
//Good gods, if Relena found him. . . ! Well, all right, I don't know /what/ would happen, but if it gets bad for him, he might go all panicky on her, or worse, get offended by her, and pull some kind of prank and God only knows how she'll take such, though I'd bet on her kicking the lot of us out of the country!//
Heero was still waiting.
Releasing a deep breath, Duo brushed his bangs from his eyes and tried to calm down. //Hell, I'm as bad as a paranoid parent!//
Prussian blue eyes inquired silently if he was done and alright now.
Groaning, Duo nodded insistently, making a face. "That's. . . not good, Heero." //Understatement, by far--I'm certain of it!//
"I think we'd best go after them," Wing's pilot decided quietly, nodding back before calmly but quickly striding for the stairs to follow the pair he'd just seen.
Rolling his eyes heavenward, Duo hurried after, grumbling to himself silently, //No, you just /had/ to get attached to the kid, and now you're a bloody nursemaid and ruining your stomach over all this. . . How the heck did his parents manage? A 'large' family, Sally said? God only knows!//
But he couldn't help recalling the night before, and imagining just how the boy might react to Relena's innocent bounciness, an inadvertent gesture or touch. . .
//Ah hell. . . We can only hope this doesn't make his mental condition worse!//
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". . .a whole set of 'The Lion King' tapes, if I recall right. I bet you'd like those, wouldn't you?" she was asking.
Zechs whimpered. //No, not that! Oh, please, /anything/ but that! Not a movie about a king getting assassinated and a son in exile!// But her grip was surprisingly strong, and digging his heels in only wrenched his arm almost out of its socket and threatened to send him tumbling down the stairs at this pace.
But his sister didn't seem to hear his involuntary protest, or else attributed it to the steps they were trotting down at such a brisk pace. "You can even watch the whole set in order!"
//Oh God no! I think I'd throw something through the TV first! Or try something equally drastic!// Weakly he tried to correct her, "Please. . . not--"
Relena didn't seem to catch more than the word "please". She glanced over her shoulder at him and beamed with such grateful sweetness as to make his heart twist with guilt and kill anything else in his throat, along with any further attempts to correct her skewed impressions. "That's wonderful that you like it! You're going to get along great with the others, I'm just /sure/ of it! They love 'The Lion King' so much. . . I suppose it's from living in a restored kingdom now."
Miri fought the urge to sob. //Others. . . ? And they love it?!? And we're going there to /meet/ them?!?// He felt as if he were being towed back to the laboratory he became a child in: horrified and feeling all hope running through his hands like soft sand, escaping all reach. //Oh, no, I don't think I'll be able to take this. . . Maybe if I grab a banister and cling to it with all my might. . .? It'll hurt, that initial wrench--I just hope it doesn't rip my arm off, or the banister doesn't break when she pulls! They look so fragile--will it work?//
"Hey, cute stuff!" a voice called down the stairwell.
//Duo?!?// Zechs could barely retain from calling for help like the desperate child he currently felt like.
Both siblings stopped their descent and looked up, to find Duo's cheerful face beaming down at them cheerfully over a banister a good story up, a hint of relief in his dark blue eyes.
"Is that. . . ? Duo?" Relena asked, brightening. "Duo? From--"
"School? Yeah! Hey, it's been a while, huh?" the dark-clad Gundam pilot laughed.
//They know each--? Oh! He said something about her meeting Heero and himself at school. . .// Miri let out a breath of relief.
A second head peered over the banister at them, darker hair a disorganized mass.
"Heero?" Relena identified the second face, her pleasure at his appearance evident in her voice.
Zechs eyed his sister warily, his own dangers forgotten in the light of a new observation stealing his attention. //Great,// the Tallgeese pilot sighed to himself in resignation. //My sister has a crush on the most suicidal and deadly terrorist-pilot on Earth and in Space, who happens to be my strongest rival and possibly still considers me one small step above cockroaches, especially after that last prank I pulled on him. What else can go wrong in my life?//
Prussian blue eyes blinked. Then, "We're coming down."
Both heads disappeared.
Relena continued gazing where they had been for a moment, then turned to watch the higher stairs expectantly, sighing happily. "Sorry about the delay, but I don't get much chance to talk to them. They're always so busy. . . ," she apologized absently. "'The Lion King' will wait a few minutes, but we'll get to it soon, I promise."
//Don't remind me,// the boy whimpered silently to himself, feeling miserable at just the thought. Right now, Miri just wished for his mask and the cockpit of Tallgeese and a good fifty or so enemy suits, but settled for waiting for the right moment. . .
Duo and Heero turned around the landing banister--
Zechs jerked his wrist free and immediately dashed towards the startled pair, ducking behind Duo in a blur, living up to his nickname by moving like a streak of lightening as he latched onto the taller boy's belt like drowning man to a life vest.
"Zechs?" an anxious Duo asked as he was abruptly glomphed for dear life, nearly tripping over the blonde boy in his surprise.
//Help me, help me, help me, please!// Miri just buried his face in the back of Duo's shirt, and shivered.
"You know him?" the princess was inquiring, amazed, as they joined her, stopping a step or two higher. "He wouldn't tell me his name," she admitted sadly.
Heero just grunted. "Hn." It sounded rather like an affirmative, but then, part of that could have been wishful thinking.
On the other hand, Duo tried to come to Zechs's defense. "Yeah, well, we met a bit back, I guess--kinda interesting that. . . Long story, though. . . Um. . . ," he offered, faltering. "Er. . . Yeah, wouldn't you say, Heero?"
//Oh, God--that's right, Duo doesn't lie!// A twinge of fear at that realization made Zechs shiver uncontrollably against Duo. //They might have to tell her. . . Please, don't. Oh, please don't, Duo!//
"Hn." Heero wasn't contributing much to the conversation.
Miri felt Duo's hand rest on his shoulders and give a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, you alright kid?" the braided pilot was asking, sounding quite concerned, voice quiet and gentle.
"I think I've frightened him somehow," Relena added uncertainly, apologetic. "Do you know his family, where he's from?"
//No, I'm not alright. . . I want to be very, very far away right now!//
"Yeah. . . um. . . well, his name's Zechs. . . ," Duo began, absently rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Winner," Heero supplied shortly out of the blue, surprisingly coming to Duo's rescue. "Quatre's cousin," he added tersely.
Zechs breathed out a silent sigh of relief into the back of Duo's shirt. //Thank you, Heero. I'll never pull a prank like that on you again--I promise!// he swore gratefully.
Aided by Heero's few words, Duo continued, "Well, you see, Quatre's a Gundam pilot like us, and we couldn't exactly just leave the kid there in Africa. He's had a rough time--kinda traumatized, I guess, by the war and all. . ."
Miri winced. //A bit too truthful there.//
"Oh. . . Poor thing," Relena murmured sympathetically.
That certainly felt strange. Sympathy from his own sister, who clearly didn't know the half of it. Zechs wasn't sure if it helped or made things worse. //I wonder what she'd say if she knew the whole story. . .//
"I was just about to take him to the schooling center for the children of staff here," Relena supplied hopefully, smiling warmly. "Miss Magdalen teaches all of them, though they're of various ages--there aren't that many, so it's no big burden, she says. I'm sure he'll be happy with the other children. . . and safe enough, surely."
//No, no, not that--ANYTHING but 'The Lion King'!!!// Zechs wailed mentally, clinging to Duo's belt with a death-grip. //I'll scrub mobile suit cockpits. I'll lick boots. I'll cut my hair! But NOT that!//
Heero snorted indelicately. "Not safe enough," he announced firmly.
Relena blinked, mouth dropping open in protest. "But--!"
"Oz already knows about him--they'd grab him first chance they could," Duo reasoned a bit more gently.
//Too true. . .// Miri sighed to himself, a bit reassured. //Thank God these two are on my side in this!//
"Why don't we ask him?" the young princess tried, undaunted.
"Hn?" Wing's pilot grunted.
"But--?" tried Duo.
Too late. Relena leaned to peer around Duo and smiled alluringly at the blonde little boy, who refused to look up from Duo's shirt.
"Zechs?" she asked gently.
//Stubbornness just /had/ to run in our family. . .//
"Zechs?" Relena tried again.
//Good intentions had to run in the bloody family. . . ! Go away, go away, go away! Just looking at you--it brings up memories that I /really/ don't want to deal with right now!//
Duo's hand awkwardly patted Miri's shoulder, trying to sooth the small figure vibrating against his side. "Hey, kiddo, it's okay. . . It's okay. . . ," he whispered softly over the boy's head.
Miri's sister must have given up on getting him to lift his face, because she finally got to the question. "Zechs. . . would you like to join the other children? They're really a very nice group. . ."
//No!// Without looking up, he shook his head in a firm negative, shuddering at the idea. //I'm not like them. . . I doubt they'd even accept me, mind and body in turmoil like this, a mismatched puzzle of a human being. They'll sense it right away--I'm not really a one of them, just a mess. . . /Real/ kids notice such things.//
"Doesn't look like it, Relena," Duo observed quietly. "Really. . . it's better this way. Trust me."
The young girl sighed, frowning slightly at the oblivious boy clinging so tightly to Duo. "I don't understand. . . ," she breathed softly, almost painfully. "I wish I could avoid scaring him, though. . ."
"Ah, don't fret it, Princess," Duo brushed her worries aside with a wave of his free hand. "It's just how he is. . ."
"Well, he doesn't seem to have that problem with you," she complained.
//They aren't part of a long list of bad memories!// Zechs answered silently.
Grunting, Heero muttered, "Pilots."
"Excuse me?"
"That could well be it, yeah," Deathscythe's pilot admitted wryly, free hand brushing at his bangs to clear his eyes. "Heero means it's 'cause we're pilots, maybe. Kid relates better to us, somehow. . . But it could also be 'cause we've known him a while now, and he's got to trusting us. . . Wasn't easy, though. He's very. . . erm. . . hard to get close to."
"I can see that," the girl observed dryly with a sigh.
//Please, sister, just give up now. . . You're the last thing I want to deal with right now,// Miri prayed silently.
"Yeah, well, we'd best go find the others. . . Quatre will be there," Duo offered cheerfully. "Sorry to dash off, Princess--but gotta catch him and the repair crew and Treize before that guy starts pushing posh tea and biscuits on the lot of us. Before you know it, he'll have us singing opera during battle, you know? Best to nip that kind of thing in the bud. . ."
Heero eyed Duo balefully.
Spreading his hands innocently, Duo smiled sheepishly at his fellow Gundam pilot.
Zechs glanced up at the braided boy through his long bangs and rolled his eyes. //You're starting to babble, Duo. . . Don't give it away!//
"Hn."
"Um, yes. . . well, you can stop glaring at me, Heero. Culture is sometimes overrated," Duo stated defensively, setting fists on hips.
Snorting, Heero nodded politely to Relena, then glared at Duo again. "Let's just go before they leave entirely."
"It was nice seeing you both again," Relena offered, smiling sadly. "And nice to meet you, too, Zechs Winner. . ."
//Ugh! That name sounds terrible!// But Miri waved a hand at her slightly, sheepishly, refusing to let go of Duo's belt and thus seriously hampering the Gundam pilot's attempt to bound back up the stairs. The larger boy ended up practically dragging him in Heero's wake. . .
Was it Zechs's imagination, however, or did he actually hear a distant echo of Relena's voice echo up the stairs after him, murmuring to herself, "A strange boy. . . so awfully familiar somehow. . ."
The boy in question closed his eyes. //I hope you never know, Relena. . . Never know that a haunted, broken child was meant to be a king one day, and failed to be more than just that--a haunted, broken child forever hiding his face and bloodied hands. . .//
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To be continued. Dangnabit! I keep pulling this damn elbow over and over again! Anyway, I hope the length of this makes up for such a long lull, at least in part.
Chapter Twenty-Three: You're Much Too Kind. . .
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Disclaimer--Don't own GW. Just enjoy the perks without the hassle of turning away all the other fans demanding the opportunity to buy the rights. ;)
Notes: Sorry to be so slow getting this chapter done. Between a sudden overload of projects requiring a fair portion of creative BS, Finals, and pulled tendons half-ruining my elbow (how do you type without leaning on something?!?), it's slow going right now (especially as the elbow's gonna take at least a month to be good enough to lean on again). But hey, I haven't stopped! And I finally figured out how Dermail is to die. Yay. :)
Warnings--Perhaps mild swearing (just by me at the end). A touch of sadness. Some perkiness. . . to annoying extents. Reasons why Disney should never be substituted for a babysitter. Or Relena, for that matter.
Zechs heads for bed, and runs into a shadow who wants answers. Architecture is briefly studied. Relena almost throws a monkey-wrench into the alliance. . . and causes the first fight between siblings, ever! Well, kinda, anyway. . . Duo gets glomphed.
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Duo heard the door click shut quietly, and leaned his back heavily against the window. Quiet, tired steps rustled beyond his field of vision, the accompanying hiss of cloth suggesting that the room's owner was intent on getting to bed.
//I wonder if I'm wrong, and he'll try sleeping in bed tonight. Then I'll have to go to him. . . I don't want to startle him, though--I just want to talk. Yeah, talk--God, Duo, the kid barely talks already, and now you want the impossible out of him! But he /needs/ to talk. . .//
Dark blue eyes flicked to the shadow of a fluffy teddy bear ensconced in rumpled throws on the chair beside him. //You aren't enough, Ted. For a real young kid, maybe, but an adult in trouble, you need human contact. For kids, too, often enough, now that I think about it. Father taught me that. . .//
The faint pricking of threatening tears at the corners of his eyes made Duo brush those memories aside with a burst of will and a black sleeve, and refocus on his primary objective here.
Footsteps padded closer. . .
Duo straightened, and set his shoulders back, pulling off his black cap and looking expectantly at the moonlit entrance to the dining room. //Well, Father also always said a little prayer can't hurt. So, wish me luck, Big Guy. Hey, if anyone can give me any, You can! And I think I'm gonna need it for Zechs. . .//
Zechs trotted into the room, busily pulling his arm into the second sleeve of a borrowed robe too large for him, not very aware of his surroundings or how the warm cloth trailed behind him like a pale robe of state. A loose T- shirt and ragged-legged loose pants made up his sleeping attire, clearly borrowed as well, but comfortable. The boy must have been very tired, for his senses didn't warn him of another presence in the dim moonlight of the room until he was halfway to the chair.
Then that pale head jerked up in Duo's direction, and he froze mid-step, hands caught fussing at a too-long robe sleeve. . . Icy eyes widened in a panic.
"Hey, um. . . ," Duo began hesitantly, taking a step to close the distance, reaching a hand out in an automatic move to catch a bony shoulder and keep the target from running off.
Almost immediately, before even completing the motion, the look in those eyes told Duo he made a big mistake. //Oh damn--!//
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Miri hadn't expected anyone in his room, and the first thing he encountered was a whirl of mixed emotions: anger, at himself for being caught so foolishly off-guard; terror, the residue of those old memories of Sanc; blinding panic, borne of newer but equally terrible memories. Panic won out, guided by cues he didn't realize he was picking up: someone looking down at him with a smile, something flopping like a rope behind him, a hand reaching to grab, dark clothes--especially boots. . . He remembered boots very well, suddenly--slamming steel toes into his ribs and guts, leaving him to choke for air as other blows fell on his back and head, knowing through the ensuing pain that the worst would come when he could no longer move, defend himself--
//No! Get away!// Backpedaling instantly, Zechs tripped over the overlong robe's tail, slamming onto the floor on his side, but he hit scrambling frantically as a cat with its tail on fire.
"Hey--wait!"
All the boy registered was that it was a familiar voice--he didn't try to place it, though, as he flung himself towards the door and escape like a wild creature, frantic. //Got to get out, get away--not again! I can't take it again!// He wasn't even sure what "it" he was referring to, other than some undefined horror sitting in the darkest recesses of his mind. Terror bound rational thought in tight webbing. //Run--run--RUN!!!//
Arms grabbed him from behind, plucking him off his feet at his first lunge for the door--he kicked wildly and tore at them with his hands, but they held like steel even though he felt his feet connecting with bony shins and fingernails drawing blood from those larger hands. They gave him a firm shake instead, rattling his teeth.
Zechs just closed his eyes and went still, panting like a terrified bird through clenched teeth and waiting for something to hurt. //Please no. . . No, please no. . . Please. . .// Nobody had ever listened to the silent, hopeless plea before, but he couldn't stop it from echoing in his head, as if that litany was all that would let him survive the ordeal he knew was coming. //No. . . Please. . . no. . .//
Another shake, not so rough this time. "I'm not going to hurt you." The tone was almost angry, though quiet. "Relax, okay? Just me here--Duo. You /know/ I don't lie."
//Duo?//
"I'm not going to hurt you, okay?"
Miri's eyes opened, and hesitantly he peered over his shoulder, uncertain of what he would see. But the anxious dark blue eyes, genial face, and unruly coppery bangs of Duo's familiar face were there, reassuring and unthreatening. . .
The boy blinked a moment, feeling the rigid chains of his panic melting away. . . to a flicker of weary anger. //I /told/ you not to do this!// "Treize at least /says/ something before he startles me," Zechs grumbled, taking a deep breath to calm his breathing back down.
Duo breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry--forgot. What with all the other things going on, it slipped my mind. Especially as there's little reason to catch you at night, when it's easier to do so in daylight. You're not going to run on me again, are you? We need to talk."
//Talk. . . What's so urgent that it has to be now? I'm tired. . . Though I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now, after this. Not well, anyway.// Miri shook his head firmly, and sighed softly as Duo set him back down on his feet. Once again he began fiddling with the over-long sleeves, folding them back neatly one at a time.
It gave him an excuse not to look Duo in the eye, however, as the boy asked, "Talk about what?" //I don't want to talk about. . . my past. I've had enough of that for one lifetime, let alone one day. Just leave me alone, Duo. . .//
"You keep running off, hiding. . . keeping it all inside. It's going to destroy you, Zechs. You aren't talking, there's nobody to physically vent it on, and you said yourself that you can't withstand it forever! Just /talk/ to someone--let it out, it doesn't matter to who, before--before--" Duo stopped, biting off the rest of what he intended to say.
"Before. . . ?"
"Before we lose you," Duo finished quietly.
Icy eyes stared blankly at the sleeve he was folding back, hands very still a long moment. //I. . . I /should/ talk to someone. It's just. . . Why can't I? Why is it so hard? Maybe. . . I'm just a coward. Tallgeese proved that already. I'm afraid. Afraid to break down my own defenses and reveal the coward I really am. Afraid to be weak. . . especially now, when I need to be strong.//
"I don't know if I /can/," Zechs whispered softly. "Or if I dare. . . Just going back there--looking at my Father's picture--"
Images jumped before his eyes at just the mentioning of today's events. //I'm sorry. . . I'm sorry. . .//
"--I don't know what happened. I think--I think I lost it there. 05-- Wufei--had to shake me out of it. I don't know what might have happened if he wasn't there. I wanted to face the memories. I /think/ I've some control over them now, but if I don't. . . ?"
When he looked up, Duo was smiling wryly down at him. "Well, I think any one of us is capable of shaking you back into reality again. Hey, if Wufei can, it can't be /that/ hard! I did it just now, didn't I?" he laughed, one hand gesturing towards the door, hinting of Zechs's goal only a few minutes earlier.
//He's right. . . And--he /did/. What he just did--it's not that different from what Wufei had to do to help me escape the memories.// That realization brought a measure of hope and relief with it, which his tired heart and soul sorely needed. //Then that's just an excuse to myself, an excuse not to. . . Ah, God, of all things to be made into, why did I /have/ to become a /child/? I can't even reason with myself anymore!// "I. . . I suppose you're right," he answered quietly, looking back down at his sleeve and resuming folding. "You did."
He could almost hear Duo nodding firmly. "Hey, you just have to pick one of us and a time to sit down for a long talk in private. We're a closed- mouthed group. Maybe Sally might want to hear some of it for medical purposes, but I don't see why anything that's said or done might get blabbed around afterwards."
//Reassuring to know. . . I guess. . . I guess I should gather my courage and do it finally. I wish it weren't so hard to /find/ my courage right now, though. I could have sworn I had more somewhere. . . but I just feel so afraid. Of so many things.// Done with the sleeve, Miri hugged his arms around himself, closing his eyes. "I. . . I will. . . Just. . . not tonight. I don't think I can take any more today," he admitted shyly, ashamed.
Carefully, warm arms closed around him slowly to avoid startling him this time, holding him loosely against cloth as black as night and warm as a teddy bear. . . and as reassuring as a parent's embrace. "It's alright," Duo's voice murmured gently just over his head. "It's alright, kiddo. . . Soon as you're ready. But make it /soon/, Zechs, because I don't think we can take any more pranks like last time!"
Zechs had stiffened ever-so-slightly at that loose hug, but Duo's last words drew a weak laugh from him, easing some of the tension in his body. //I need this,// he decided, surprised. //It's. . . not the most comfortable thing right now, but I /need/ it. I guess I really /am/ a kid now. . .//
Resting his head against Duo's ribs, Miri focused on relaxing, keeping his eyes closed, letting his body re-adjust slowly, to begin healing from old trauma, to learn to recognize what reassuring physical contact meant again. And Duo simply held him, firmly but not confining, as if the lone survivor of the Maxwell Tragedy knew exactly what he needed. . . and why.
//Our tragedies aren't so different, perhaps. . .//
The boy knew then and there who he would tell his terrors to. . .
//He understands me better than I do right now.//
"You can tell them to relax. . . I'm not up to it tonight."
Zechs felt the vibration of Duo's chuckles under his cheek before he heard them echo softly over his head.
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Relena rubbed at her eyes, feeling very tired though the morning had just begun. //I thought I outgrew those nightmares long ago. . .// Confusing flashes, a tangle of images that carried with them an overtone of fear and loneliness, she couldn't remember them all when she woke. Something about fire. . . ? Fire and booming sounds, a sickly smell, a soft red blanket with pink flowers on it and intense light-blue eyes that stared briefly into her own. . .
Eyes of a nightmare?
//No. . . but something important, that's all I know, deep in my heart. I wish I knew who, though.//
Smoothing her skirt one final time, the young princess picked up her notes for today's talk to the class full of peace-oriented students, and scanned them over carefully. Not an easy concept to teach others, the Peace Principle. Well, perhaps the Principle itself was easy, but how to achieve and maintain it in today's world was a challenge to figure out. Relena didn't lie to herself--she wasn't sure she knew how to achieve it herself. But people were counting on her. . .
//The people of Sanc. . . Heero, his friends, his alliance. . . My brother. Brother? I wish I knew more about that--could it really be true, that he exists? And if so, what is he doing, why is he leaving all this to me when he's the elder, where is he, and why is he hiding from me of all people? I should talk to Pagan after class. So many questions. . .// Shaking her head, Relena gathered the notes together neatly in her hands and turned away from her desk.
//Heero is counting on me. I don't want to fail him. . .//
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to her suite and juggled the notes into her other hand, backing into the hall and reaching to shut the door--
--and collided with someone!
The impact rammed her into the doorjamb, scattering the notes from her hand to drift to the floor like a flutter of feathers, drawing a cry of dismay from her as they lost their sequence. Offended mildly by this unwanted delay, she whirled to look at the one who'd run into her.
//A. . . girl?// For a moment, long hair gave Relena the impression that she had run into a girl, but only for a moment, as the sharp planes of his face suggested otherwise. //No, a boy. I've never seen him before, I'm sure of it.//
He'd fared not quite as well as she, having ended up sitting on the polished hallway floor, braced up on his arms, blinking at her in surprise with large eyes, white drifting around him as well--only in his case, paper didn't settle about his shoulders and the floor in a wild mass, but long pale hair did.
//Such a strange boy.// Those wide eyes refused to blink, but seemed to stare right /through/ her, as if something behind her mesmerized him. //I wonder if he's alright?// Perhaps he'd been hurt by the fall.
"Are you alright?" she asked quietly, uncertainly, reaching a hand out to help him up.
The young boy blinked, gaze adjusting to focus on her, and opened his mouth- -but nothing came out, for all his efforts. Eyes flicking to her hand, he cringed back before daring to glance up at her through a long fringe of blonde hair and nod shyly.
Relena let her hand drop back to her side, feeling a twinge of hurt. //It's as if he's almost afraid of me. Does he know who I am? Why would he be afraid of me?//
"Bother," she sighed, looking around at the notes scattered haphazardly on the floor. //I really should get moving, or I'll be late. I should do something to reassure him, though--I don't want him to think I'm some terrible tyrant princess.// Kneeling, she began scooping them together, trying to fit them in order again. "What's your name?" she offered gently, glancing over to give him a warm smile.
Caught clambering back to his feet, uncertain ice-blue eyes blinked at her fearfully as he straightened. Probably not more than seven years old, she'd guess, but those clothes had to be hand-me-downs: too worn and poor- fitting to have been bought for him. A too-large T-shirt of faded blue, loose too-long pale pants folded at the ankles, sandals that hung loose on his feet. . . His family must be poor, perhaps one of the locals hired as servants by Pagan.
He only stared at her, expression almost painful under her scrutiny, not answering her question, seemingly frozen by her attention.
Lifting her notes to her breast, Relena straightened as well, brushing at her skirt self-consciously. //I wonder who his parents are. And what he's been told about me. . .// "I'm not going to get you in trouble--it was only an accident," she tried hopefully.
"I. . ." His voice was so quiet she almost missed the words, and it sounded surprisingly low for his age. "I. . . I'm sorry. . ." The look in his eyes screamed that he desperately wanted to hide right now, but the corridor offered him no such opportunity with its bare furnishings and broad expanse. That tense stance gave her the impression of a nervous deer caught in the open spread of a large field, not knowing whether to fight or flee.
//At least he's polite,// the young princess sighed to herself. //I don't think he can help being afraid. . . Perhaps he's lost? I bet that's it-- he's new here, and it's all so strange, and he knows nobody, not even where to go, really. Poor thing.//
"Are you lost?" Relena asked brightly, convinced that it /must/ be the explanation. //I can help that. It's the least I can do for the poor bewildered thing.//
Icy eyes blinked at her, in a dazed sort of way. For some reason, they reminded her of something. . . someone. . . but she couldn't pinpoint what or who exactly.
//No matter. I'll remember in good time.// "I bet you're supposed to be at the children's teaching rooms downstairs," she stated with conviction, beaming at him. "I think all the children were going to the Science Museum today--they've probably left by now--but I'm sure you can watch some tapes until they return!"
If she hadn't thought it already impossible, she would have sworn those large eyes /widened/. Probably at her powers of deduction.
//I can spare a few minutes to get him settled there and leave Miss Magdalen a note about a new student.// Before the boy could answer--if he was going to at all--Relena jumped forward and grabbed at his wrist.
The strange boy pulled back, startled, but didn't move far enough to escape her hand imprisoning his in a grip he couldn't break. His mouth opened in a gasp--those large eyes narrowed angrily--
But Relena didn't pause to let him protest. She began pulling him along the hall towards the stairs, certain this was the right thing to do and oblivious to the boy's discomfort and dragging feet. //Poor thing's probably very embarrassed. Well, he'll be alright once we get there and he sees for himself that nobody's going to chew him out over so small a thing here.//
Towing the boy in her wake like an unruly puppy, Relena cheerfully suggested, "I'm quite sure there's a whole archive of Disney movies you can choose from. . . How about 'Snow White for starters?"
The groan behind her was probably just a creak in the floor.
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//I'm glad Howard's got that taken care of. We're going to need Wing in top shape soon, I bet. And Heero's looking pleased,// Duo observed the silent pilot trotting beside him through the hall. //Well, as pleased as he ever does, I suppose. I /think/ that tilt at the corners of his mouth are hints of a smile. . .//
"Well, hey, we'll have some good news to give others once we get to the conference room," Duo congratulated himself out loud. "Great that Howard's got the spare parts that Rashid said we need, huh?"
"Hn." A grunt was the only reply.
//Well, Heero's never one to waste words. . .// "And it was nice of Relena to give Treize permission to snag that conference room. That kitchen's a bit too small to cram us all in comfortably, I think."
"Hn."
//Or maybe I'm talking to myself.// "I bet Quatre's got a whole typed report ready for us on what we can use for that raid, too, by now. I think I saw him typing it up this morning."
"Hn." The intonation didn't seem to change.
//I /have/ to be talking to Heero. I get more conversation from talking to myself!// "Between him, Rashid, and Miss Noin, I think we've got all we want and more if we need it. They're all prepared all the time for the worst, it seems."
"Hn."
//Is he some kind of robot? Am I even getting through? Better try something wild.// "Did you know Dorothy snores like a lumberjack with a head cold? And that Treize has a pink tu-tu in his size in his luggage?" the braided pilot tried blandly.
"Hn."
//I give up!// Duo wailed mentally upon hearing that familiar sound again, looking at the ceiling for divine support to lend him patience. "Heero, I swear, you've all the vocabulary of a dead lemming sometimes. . ."
But looking next to him again, Duo found that familiar presence suddenly gone. "Heero?" he asked, blinking, before looking over his shoulder.
//Was it something I said?//
Ah, there he was! Heero had stopped in his tracks a few paces back, and was staring at an open stairwell, frowning.
//Huh? I wonder what's up?//
Concerned, Duo walked back, taking position just behind Heero's left shoulder, and tilting his head as he studied the same object of scrutiny. It seemed normal enough--marble floor tiles, a soft carved wooden railing of elaborate quality, potted plants in the corners of the landings, paintings decorating the walls, a window to let in light. . . And empty.
//I think the stairwell is winning,// The braided pilot decided, looking from unblinking comrade to architecture and back curiously.
Duo scratched the back of his braid pensively. //To ask or not to ask. . . Ah hell, he hasn't killed me yet for chatting. Ask, then.// "Hey, Heero. . . what's with. . . ?" A hand gestured at the stairwell under observation.
Heero actually frowned a little more, then scratched absently at an unruly bang that tickled his forehead. "I thought I just saw Zechs," he admitted, as if not certain he saw what he thought he saw.
//Um. . . Okay, well Zechs is coming to this meeting, I imagine.// That little wasn't enlightening enough, for all Duo struggled to see how this was a concern. So he waited.
"He looked as if he thought Relena was taking him outside for public execution."
//What? WHO?// "Relena was /what/?" Duo demanded, feeling his stomach cramp in worry.
Heero just blinked at him, and gave his words time to settle in.
"Here?" Deathscythe's pilot choked, gesturing at the stairwell.
Heero waited patiently.
//Good gods, if Relena found him. . . ! Well, all right, I don't know /what/ would happen, but if it gets bad for him, he might go all panicky on her, or worse, get offended by her, and pull some kind of prank and God only knows how she'll take such, though I'd bet on her kicking the lot of us out of the country!//
Heero was still waiting.
Releasing a deep breath, Duo brushed his bangs from his eyes and tried to calm down. //Hell, I'm as bad as a paranoid parent!//
Prussian blue eyes inquired silently if he was done and alright now.
Groaning, Duo nodded insistently, making a face. "That's. . . not good, Heero." //Understatement, by far--I'm certain of it!//
"I think we'd best go after them," Wing's pilot decided quietly, nodding back before calmly but quickly striding for the stairs to follow the pair he'd just seen.
Rolling his eyes heavenward, Duo hurried after, grumbling to himself silently, //No, you just /had/ to get attached to the kid, and now you're a bloody nursemaid and ruining your stomach over all this. . . How the heck did his parents manage? A 'large' family, Sally said? God only knows!//
But he couldn't help recalling the night before, and imagining just how the boy might react to Relena's innocent bounciness, an inadvertent gesture or touch. . .
//Ah hell. . . We can only hope this doesn't make his mental condition worse!//
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". . .a whole set of 'The Lion King' tapes, if I recall right. I bet you'd like those, wouldn't you?" she was asking.
Zechs whimpered. //No, not that! Oh, please, /anything/ but that! Not a movie about a king getting assassinated and a son in exile!// But her grip was surprisingly strong, and digging his heels in only wrenched his arm almost out of its socket and threatened to send him tumbling down the stairs at this pace.
But his sister didn't seem to hear his involuntary protest, or else attributed it to the steps they were trotting down at such a brisk pace. "You can even watch the whole set in order!"
//Oh God no! I think I'd throw something through the TV first! Or try something equally drastic!// Weakly he tried to correct her, "Please. . . not--"
Relena didn't seem to catch more than the word "please". She glanced over her shoulder at him and beamed with such grateful sweetness as to make his heart twist with guilt and kill anything else in his throat, along with any further attempts to correct her skewed impressions. "That's wonderful that you like it! You're going to get along great with the others, I'm just /sure/ of it! They love 'The Lion King' so much. . . I suppose it's from living in a restored kingdom now."
Miri fought the urge to sob. //Others. . . ? And they love it?!? And we're going there to /meet/ them?!?// He felt as if he were being towed back to the laboratory he became a child in: horrified and feeling all hope running through his hands like soft sand, escaping all reach. //Oh, no, I don't think I'll be able to take this. . . Maybe if I grab a banister and cling to it with all my might. . .? It'll hurt, that initial wrench--I just hope it doesn't rip my arm off, or the banister doesn't break when she pulls! They look so fragile--will it work?//
"Hey, cute stuff!" a voice called down the stairwell.
//Duo?!?// Zechs could barely retain from calling for help like the desperate child he currently felt like.
Both siblings stopped their descent and looked up, to find Duo's cheerful face beaming down at them cheerfully over a banister a good story up, a hint of relief in his dark blue eyes.
"Is that. . . ? Duo?" Relena asked, brightening. "Duo? From--"
"School? Yeah! Hey, it's been a while, huh?" the dark-clad Gundam pilot laughed.
//They know each--? Oh! He said something about her meeting Heero and himself at school. . .// Miri let out a breath of relief.
A second head peered over the banister at them, darker hair a disorganized mass.
"Heero?" Relena identified the second face, her pleasure at his appearance evident in her voice.
Zechs eyed his sister warily, his own dangers forgotten in the light of a new observation stealing his attention. //Great,// the Tallgeese pilot sighed to himself in resignation. //My sister has a crush on the most suicidal and deadly terrorist-pilot on Earth and in Space, who happens to be my strongest rival and possibly still considers me one small step above cockroaches, especially after that last prank I pulled on him. What else can go wrong in my life?//
Prussian blue eyes blinked. Then, "We're coming down."
Both heads disappeared.
Relena continued gazing where they had been for a moment, then turned to watch the higher stairs expectantly, sighing happily. "Sorry about the delay, but I don't get much chance to talk to them. They're always so busy. . . ," she apologized absently. "'The Lion King' will wait a few minutes, but we'll get to it soon, I promise."
//Don't remind me,// the boy whimpered silently to himself, feeling miserable at just the thought. Right now, Miri just wished for his mask and the cockpit of Tallgeese and a good fifty or so enemy suits, but settled for waiting for the right moment. . .
Duo and Heero turned around the landing banister--
Zechs jerked his wrist free and immediately dashed towards the startled pair, ducking behind Duo in a blur, living up to his nickname by moving like a streak of lightening as he latched onto the taller boy's belt like drowning man to a life vest.
"Zechs?" an anxious Duo asked as he was abruptly glomphed for dear life, nearly tripping over the blonde boy in his surprise.
//Help me, help me, help me, please!// Miri just buried his face in the back of Duo's shirt, and shivered.
"You know him?" the princess was inquiring, amazed, as they joined her, stopping a step or two higher. "He wouldn't tell me his name," she admitted sadly.
Heero just grunted. "Hn." It sounded rather like an affirmative, but then, part of that could have been wishful thinking.
On the other hand, Duo tried to come to Zechs's defense. "Yeah, well, we met a bit back, I guess--kinda interesting that. . . Long story, though. . . Um. . . ," he offered, faltering. "Er. . . Yeah, wouldn't you say, Heero?"
//Oh, God--that's right, Duo doesn't lie!// A twinge of fear at that realization made Zechs shiver uncontrollably against Duo. //They might have to tell her. . . Please, don't. Oh, please don't, Duo!//
"Hn." Heero wasn't contributing much to the conversation.
Miri felt Duo's hand rest on his shoulders and give a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, you alright kid?" the braided pilot was asking, sounding quite concerned, voice quiet and gentle.
"I think I've frightened him somehow," Relena added uncertainly, apologetic. "Do you know his family, where he's from?"
//No, I'm not alright. . . I want to be very, very far away right now!//
"Yeah. . . um. . . well, his name's Zechs. . . ," Duo began, absently rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Winner," Heero supplied shortly out of the blue, surprisingly coming to Duo's rescue. "Quatre's cousin," he added tersely.
Zechs breathed out a silent sigh of relief into the back of Duo's shirt. //Thank you, Heero. I'll never pull a prank like that on you again--I promise!// he swore gratefully.
Aided by Heero's few words, Duo continued, "Well, you see, Quatre's a Gundam pilot like us, and we couldn't exactly just leave the kid there in Africa. He's had a rough time--kinda traumatized, I guess, by the war and all. . ."
Miri winced. //A bit too truthful there.//
"Oh. . . Poor thing," Relena murmured sympathetically.
That certainly felt strange. Sympathy from his own sister, who clearly didn't know the half of it. Zechs wasn't sure if it helped or made things worse. //I wonder what she'd say if she knew the whole story. . .//
"I was just about to take him to the schooling center for the children of staff here," Relena supplied hopefully, smiling warmly. "Miss Magdalen teaches all of them, though they're of various ages--there aren't that many, so it's no big burden, she says. I'm sure he'll be happy with the other children. . . and safe enough, surely."
//No, no, not that--ANYTHING but 'The Lion King'!!!// Zechs wailed mentally, clinging to Duo's belt with a death-grip. //I'll scrub mobile suit cockpits. I'll lick boots. I'll cut my hair! But NOT that!//
Heero snorted indelicately. "Not safe enough," he announced firmly.
Relena blinked, mouth dropping open in protest. "But--!"
"Oz already knows about him--they'd grab him first chance they could," Duo reasoned a bit more gently.
//Too true. . .// Miri sighed to himself, a bit reassured. //Thank God these two are on my side in this!//
"Why don't we ask him?" the young princess tried, undaunted.
"Hn?" Wing's pilot grunted.
"But--?" tried Duo.
Too late. Relena leaned to peer around Duo and smiled alluringly at the blonde little boy, who refused to look up from Duo's shirt.
"Zechs?" she asked gently.
//Stubbornness just /had/ to run in our family. . .//
"Zechs?" Relena tried again.
//Good intentions had to run in the bloody family. . . ! Go away, go away, go away! Just looking at you--it brings up memories that I /really/ don't want to deal with right now!//
Duo's hand awkwardly patted Miri's shoulder, trying to sooth the small figure vibrating against his side. "Hey, kiddo, it's okay. . . It's okay. . . ," he whispered softly over the boy's head.
Miri's sister must have given up on getting him to lift his face, because she finally got to the question. "Zechs. . . would you like to join the other children? They're really a very nice group. . ."
//No!// Without looking up, he shook his head in a firm negative, shuddering at the idea. //I'm not like them. . . I doubt they'd even accept me, mind and body in turmoil like this, a mismatched puzzle of a human being. They'll sense it right away--I'm not really a one of them, just a mess. . . /Real/ kids notice such things.//
"Doesn't look like it, Relena," Duo observed quietly. "Really. . . it's better this way. Trust me."
The young girl sighed, frowning slightly at the oblivious boy clinging so tightly to Duo. "I don't understand. . . ," she breathed softly, almost painfully. "I wish I could avoid scaring him, though. . ."
"Ah, don't fret it, Princess," Duo brushed her worries aside with a wave of his free hand. "It's just how he is. . ."
"Well, he doesn't seem to have that problem with you," she complained.
//They aren't part of a long list of bad memories!// Zechs answered silently.
Grunting, Heero muttered, "Pilots."
"Excuse me?"
"That could well be it, yeah," Deathscythe's pilot admitted wryly, free hand brushing at his bangs to clear his eyes. "Heero means it's 'cause we're pilots, maybe. Kid relates better to us, somehow. . . But it could also be 'cause we've known him a while now, and he's got to trusting us. . . Wasn't easy, though. He's very. . . erm. . . hard to get close to."
"I can see that," the girl observed dryly with a sigh.
//Please, sister, just give up now. . . You're the last thing I want to deal with right now,// Miri prayed silently.
"Yeah, well, we'd best go find the others. . . Quatre will be there," Duo offered cheerfully. "Sorry to dash off, Princess--but gotta catch him and the repair crew and Treize before that guy starts pushing posh tea and biscuits on the lot of us. Before you know it, he'll have us singing opera during battle, you know? Best to nip that kind of thing in the bud. . ."
Heero eyed Duo balefully.
Spreading his hands innocently, Duo smiled sheepishly at his fellow Gundam pilot.
Zechs glanced up at the braided boy through his long bangs and rolled his eyes. //You're starting to babble, Duo. . . Don't give it away!//
"Hn."
"Um, yes. . . well, you can stop glaring at me, Heero. Culture is sometimes overrated," Duo stated defensively, setting fists on hips.
Snorting, Heero nodded politely to Relena, then glared at Duo again. "Let's just go before they leave entirely."
"It was nice seeing you both again," Relena offered, smiling sadly. "And nice to meet you, too, Zechs Winner. . ."
//Ugh! That name sounds terrible!// But Miri waved a hand at her slightly, sheepishly, refusing to let go of Duo's belt and thus seriously hampering the Gundam pilot's attempt to bound back up the stairs. The larger boy ended up practically dragging him in Heero's wake. . .
Was it Zechs's imagination, however, or did he actually hear a distant echo of Relena's voice echo up the stairs after him, murmuring to herself, "A strange boy. . . so awfully familiar somehow. . ."
The boy in question closed his eyes. //I hope you never know, Relena. . . Never know that a haunted, broken child was meant to be a king one day, and failed to be more than just that--a haunted, broken child forever hiding his face and bloodied hands. . .//
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To be continued. Dangnabit! I keep pulling this damn elbow over and over again! Anyway, I hope the length of this makes up for such a long lull, at least in part.