Oh, Possibilities
By infinitykat
Part 9: Feeling Full of Despair
"Sometimes I find it hard to believe
That love would ever come to me
Two hearts beat as one
Perfect as the moon and sun
For you were meant to be with me" -Being Eve, "Ned's Wedding Song"
A/N: Hello all...not much really to say...thanks for the reviews, as always...Sorry for taking so fweaking long...school and life and such is very time consuming, believe it or not. :P To dreamingofani: Oh my god, I totally forgot about Jar Jar. Lol. Anyway...
----- ---- --- -- -
"So...Obi-Wan knows." Padmé drew her knees up her chest and stared at her hands. "What does this mean?" Anakin looked hopelessly out the window at the city that never slept. That never worried.
"I don't know," he replied at length. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's already told the Council."
"I understand," she said quietly. "We...we knew this would come eventually." Padmé slid down on her bed, still curled up in a fetal position. She tugged on the old japor snippet that she wore around her neck, swallowing back tears. "Going back to the Temple?"
Anakin turned from his observance at the window. "They gave me a mission to protect you today but," he paused, "I shouldn't push my luck." Padmé nodded. She sat up as Anakin came over to kiss her.
"Goodnight," he whispered. Anakin slowly walked away and Padmé watched him go. But, at the door, Anakin stopped and turned. He studied Padmé for a moment.
"Who am I kidding?" he asked desperately, and walked back to the side of Padmé's bed, sinking to his knees. Padmé turned to face him and put a hand on his cheek. He covered her hand with his own. "I missed you," he said, with a slight shake in his voice, "so much." Padmé leaned down and brought her face so close to his, all she could see was beautiful cerulean blue before she closed her eyes and kissed him.
"Stay with me," she whispered. Anakin nodded. Of course he would stay with her. He would do anything Padmé asked. Anything. Anakin sat on the edge of the bed and took off his tunic and undershirt. Padmé moved behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle as Anakin removed his boots.
When he turned around to face her, Anakin noticed the trinket about Padmé's neck. He smirked, taking it in his hand. The rough cravings were a reminder of his hard slave life, and having to try and make the best of scraps of various materials to make something beautiful.
"You still wear this?" he asked, amazed. Padmé tilted her head and smiled.
"Of course I do. It gives me comfort, like you're around when you aren't. I probably wouldn't have survived these last two years without it." She chuckled. "Do you remember when we first met? You said you were going to marry me." Anakin grinned.
"Well, I was right, wasn't I?" he asked teasingly. Padmé shook her head, smiling.
"You sure surprised me, alright. You were just this adorable little boy," Padmé said, pinching his cheek ("Hey!") "And you sounded so sure of yourself. Maybe a bit of Jedi intuition?"
"Never forget," Anakin said in his best Obi-Wan voice, "You can never escape the Force." Padmé laughed. Anakin became serious and took her hands in his. "When I gave this to you, I was so scared. I had no one to talk to. Master Jinn was busy, you were busy, even Obi-Wan was busy. And then," he continued, his eyes growing quietly sad, "when Master Jinn died, I wondered why I had left my mother and Tatooine in the first place. The Council didn't want me trained, you turned out to be Queen and I probably wouldn't see you ever again. Why would you want to spend time with me, a slave boy? I saw a small ray of hope when Obi-Wan said he'd train me, but..." he looked up at her again, and saw her eyes filled with concern, "So you could say the Order was my saving grace." Padmé shook her head again.
"You weren't a slave, you were a person," she said firmly, quoting Anakin, "I knew that." He smirked and pulled her into his lap.
"I'm glad you thought so," he said softly, against her neck. Padmé leaned against him, savoring the moment, but the thought making her want to cry again. She turned her head and looked at Anakin. He stared back with his unwavering intense gaze he saved just for her.
"Ani, what if they..." she started, but let her question trail off. Anakin squeezed his eyes shut, blocking the question.
"I don't want to think about it right now," Anakin whispered. Padmé just gazed back at him in silent agreement. Yes, just put it off and maybe it'll go away. But it wouldn't, and deep down, she knew that. What would come would come, and they would have to meet it when it did.
So, he just kissed her, and they left it at that.
------ ---- --- -- -
"What is your will, my master? Will we strike tonight?" the servant said it with quiet hope for a kill. The master looked on the servant with a slight smirk.
"No. The time is not right. Make the arrangements and wait for my signal," the master responded, her snake-like voice just more than a hiss. She flexed her gloved hand and the servant glanced down at it.
"Yes, master," the servant said, and turned to go, her joints squeaking with every step.
The master's smirk melted into a dark smile.
"Skywalker is mine."
----- ---- --- -- -
"Padmé...Padmé, wake up."
She let herself come to slowly, sliding closer to him so he would be the first thing she saw. Padmé's eyes fluttered open and just as she planned, she was looking straight into cerulean blue.
"What time is it?" she whispered, still fuzzy with sleepiness.
"Early," Anakin whispered back, "I have to go back to the Temple." Padmé closed her eyes as the memory of their predicament flooded back to her. She nodded. Anakin kissed her forehead and she could hear him get up and start to dress. She opened her eyes again and watched Anakin. He was now fastening his belt and attaching his lightsaber to it.
It was still dark outside and Padmé listened to the whizzing traffic for a moment before slowly sitting up. Her brain, not fully clicked on yet, was slowly awakening to an undeniable feeling of despair. Padmé rubbed her eyes and then looked up at him, to see Anakin fully dressed, cloak and all, looking right back at her. She stood and immediately slid her arms around him.
Anakin embraced her, his cloak covering them both. Padmé closed her eyes, taking in his warmth. It was like being in a big, warm, Anakin envelope. She never wanted to leave. And yet, as she further became aware, the sense of foreboding grew as well. Padmé tried to swallow it, but a tear slid down her cheek. Anakin, sensing her distress, pulled away enough to look down at her.
"What's wrong?" he asked, wiping the tear away with a rough thumb. Padmé swallowed another wave of tears.
"They're going to take you away from me," she whispered. Anakin bit his lip, obviously searching for something to say. Then his expression changed into a determined one.
"No," he told her firmly, "No. I won't let them." Padmé shook her head, letting the tears flow now.
"You might not be able to," she choked out. Anakin shook his head, then, still wearing his determined look.
"No," Anakin said again, "No. I will not let them. Trust me." Padmé looked up at him doubtfully, the tears still streaming down her face. "Do you trust me?" he asked quietly.
"I...I want to...I...Yes. I trust you," she conceded. Anakin smoothed away her tears and kissed her.
"Good. You should go to sleep," he said, leading her back to bed. Anakin tucked Padmé in and kneeled beside her. "We're going to be alright," he told her, squeezing her hand. Padmé nodded. Anakin kissed her hand, and added, "M'lady," with a smirk. She smiled for the first time that morning.
He stood and left the room quietly, and as Padmé settled into her covers, she couldn't help wondering...
Would they?
----- ---- --- -- -
As the day wore on, Padmé began to wish she didn't take so many appointments. But, on her first full day back, she felt that it was necessary to see as many of her colleagues as she could, to hear the recent news from as many perspectives as she could. And Padmé had no trouble getting people to meet her. Everyone was anxious to see the Senator of Naboo, who was one of the most well respected politicians in the Senate. So respected, in fact, that some suggested that she should become the next chancellor.
"M'lady," Senator Bail Organa was saying during the Loyalist Committee meeting that day, "We must be turning our attention to the issue of a new chancellor. Elections could be held, but I fear many are still on the pay rolls of the Trade Federation, Commerce Guilds, etc. I suggest we have a temporary leader to get the New Republic going, and then, if the senators wish, elections will be held." Amidala nodded.
"But who will be this 'temporary leader'? Is there someone the senators will agree on?" she asked. Bail exchanged glances with the others in the committee.
"Well, Senator, we think you should be Chancellor," Bail stated. Amidala stared at him.
"Me?" she asked incredulously, "And the senators would agree to this?"
"We've taken a poll," Senator Ask Ask answered, "of those who have returned so far. The majority is for your leadership in rebuilding." Padmé slumped back into her chair, thinking. Her? Chancellor? It seemed incomprehensible at the moment. Making her decision, Padmé stood, and the others followed suit.
"Thank you for coming," she told them, "We'll meet again soon. And for the issue of leadership," Padmé paused, "I'll think about and get back to you."
The members of the committee all bowed curtly and left. Padmé sank back into her chair as Dormé came in, carrying a tray with a pitcher and a cup. Padmé smiled appreciatively at her.
"Thank you," she muttered, as Dormé poured her a glass.
"Of course M'lady," Dormé replied, handing her the cup, then noticing the look on Padmé's face, said, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Padmé mumbled, taking a sip. Dormé folded her arms and threw a skeptic look Padmé's way. Padmé sighed. "Everything," she corrected. Padmé stood and started to pace the room. "I'm awfully nervous," she confessed, "I haven't heard from Ani all day, there's a whole New Republic to be formed and they want me to be chancellor." Padmé stopped pacing and looked at Dormé. She wished she could make Dormé understand the despair she was feeling.
"You should rest," Dormé said, "I'll go turn down your bed..."
"No! I mean, no," Padmé told her, bringing the cup back to her lips for another drink, "I have one last call to answer."
One last call to answer, feeling full of despair...
Padmé's cup slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor with a soft thud, her drink spreading steadily across the carpet.
----- ---- --- -- -
He had felt it long before the Council told him. But, he didn't mention it since he was in too much trouble already. So, he let them send him off on this simple errand. Anakin knew he was drawing closer, but why would a ripple in the Force such as this be on the planet's surface near the Senate Apartment Complex? His thoughts drifted for a moment to Padmé, but he shook them away, furious with himself. He couldn't get distracted, or they would take Padmé away from him. He was feeling the same way all over again. Wondering if they would make it while the Order had him constantly busy. He realized that the Jedi suspected something, and was trying to stamp it out of him by keeping him occupied.
Suddenly, Anakin stopped, and looked around. The source was in sight; he could feel it. On Anakin's left was a nightclub, just opening to its rowdy patrons. He watched as the neon sign above the entrance blinked on, and the doors slid open. A group went inside, and he could hear the commentary from multiple screens wafting out into the street.
But on his right, a crowd was group around something by the wall of another building. Anakin felt a surge of curiosity as the crowd applauded and some left to tend to other business. That ripple...it was there. Confused, Anakin joined the audience.
"The sun just slipped its note below my door And I can't hide beneath my sheets I've read the words before so now I know The time has come again for me
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
Another day that I can't find my head
My feet don't look like they're my own
I'll try and find the floor below to stand
And I hope I reach it once again
And I'm feelin' the same way all other again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend...
So many times I wonder where I've gone
And how I found my way back in
I look around awhile for something lost
Maybe I'll find it in the end..."
"Oh Force..." Anakin whispered. He gave a little involuntary shiver, feeling that it wasn't just coincidence that he himself was thinking the very same thing this girl was singing about.
"That's all, folks!" she told the crowd, and they slowly drifted apart. She packed away her instrument in a hard case that had such a soft inner cushion Anakin wanted to touch it. As the girl snapped up the clasps on the case, she looked up at Anakin and then quickly looked down, her eyes wide and pink patches appearing on her cheeks.
"What is that?" Anakin asked, breaking the awkward silence. She looked up quickly again.
"A guitar," she replied simply, and shoved a cap on her head. The girl stood and made to leave, but Anakin caught her arm.
"I'm Anakin, Anakin Skywalker. What's your name?" The girl stared incredulously at him for a moment. Then she laughed.
"Get. Out! You're Anakin Skywalker?!" she cried. Anakin looked puzzled.
"Um...yes?" he replied hesitantly, now thoroughly puzzled at her reaction.
"Oh," she said quietly, regaining her composure, "I'm Judith Mills." Judith held out her hand and Anakin shook it. He glanced at her attire, seeing that it was not anything one would wear in any of the planets Anakin had traveled to.
"It doesn't look like you're from around here," Anakin commented, raising an eyebrow. Judith looked down at herself.
"No. I'm not. I...well," she hesitated, "I really don't know how I came to be here of all places. I didn't know this place actually existed. It's been quite a mind-boggling experience, if you can tell," she explained.
"I see," Anakin replied and decided to get straight to the point, "Do you know what the Force is, Judith?"
"Uh...do you mean, 'Use the Force, Luke!' Force?" Judith asked.
"Huh?"
"Oh..." she gave a bit of a shifty look, "Sure I know what that is, but I didn't think that was real either. Not on my planet."
"Where are you from anyway?"
"Earth. Of the Milky Way System," Judith stated stiffly, and did a silly salute. Anakin chuckled and shrugged.
"Never heard of it," he said.
"I wouldn't think so." She sighed and gazed off at nothing, "It's a long into the future and in a galaxy far, far away, my friend. So...what about this Force thing?" ----- ---- --- -- -
Still no word. Padmé was becoming increasingly nervous as the hours crept by. Now it was late in the evening and the twins were asleep. As she organized some data cards in a cabinet, Padmé checked her chrono frequently. It was an involuntary put-the-card-away-look-over-your-shoulder - repeat, for several minutes now. Then Padmé got to a particularly messy file, and she sighed and dug around in it, taking cards out and placing them in the correct order. She only half-noticed when someone walked into her office and the door slid shut behind him or her.
"Oh Dormé-" she called, "I don't need anything else. You may retire." Padmé continued to organize the file and didn't notice when she didn't hear the door open again. Not, at least, until she felt two strong hands on her shoulders and a pair of lips on the nape of her neck. Padmé dropped the file.
Anakin. Still kissing her neck, he lifted one of his hands and the cabinet closed with a snap. A surge of excitement went through Padmé like a lightning bolt.
Turn around.
She whipped around and grinned at him. He grinned back, his smile bright in the dim office.
"Ani!" she screamed, and jumped on him. Anakin caught her, staggered, lost his balance, and fell onto the soft carpet. Padmé giggled gleefully. "Sorry," she mumbled, and began kissing him all over his face and neck. Anakin laughed out loud.
"I guess you're happy to see me," he said, grinning.
"I was so worried," Padmé muttered between kisses, "There was no word all day and with all the meetings I had, I couldn't even send a hologram to see if you were ever coming back!" She pulled back and Anakin propped himself up on his elbows, his face positively covered in lipstick smudges.
"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" he said, tucking a loose hair into the gold netting wrapping Padmé's hair. He let his hand travel down the shimmering gold fabric tubing covering her almost waist-length wavy hair. "I need to ask you a favor," Anakin continued.
"Anything," Padmé whispered, draping her arms around his neck.
"I was on a mission today, searching for a disturbance in the Force. What I found was a girl who claims to be from a distant galaxy. She needs a place to stay while I get her entrance to the Temple authorized," he explained, hoping for a positive answer.
"Of course," she said, and then a look of panicked realization dawned on her face, "Is she here?" Anakin nodded. "Oh Force!" Without thinking, Padmé grabbed the end of her hair covering and licked it.
"Hold still," she said, giggling. Padmé attempted to erase the lipstick from Anakin's face. He held still and eventually looked decent enough.
"Wait," he said, a gleam in his eye, "There's one more." Anakin then kissed her with such passion that Padmé had no choice but to let go of the fabric in her hand and kiss him back, which was fine by her. They fell back onto the floor, hardly noticing. Padmé pulled back to catch her breath, and Anakin smirked at her. She slowly brought the gold shimmer back to her lips and then to his, gently wiping off the lipstick there. He chuckled and then sobered.
"Oops," Padmé said, regarding her lipstick smeared hair covering. "That'll never do." She reached behind her head and unfastened the gold netting holding up the fabric tubing. The gold shimmer fell when the last snap was undone, revealing her deep brown hair. Anakin might have fallen over if he wasn't already on the floor. All the intricate costumes and majestic headpieces always disguised Padmé's shining beauty. And when those disguises where removed, Anakin was always lost for words.
"Let's not keep her waiting," Anakin whispered reluctantly.
----- ---- --- -- -
Judith looked around the handmaidens' quarters, trying to believe what she was seeing. It was absurd to think that she had somehow crossed over into a reality where that galaxy far, far away was true. She tried telling herself that it was just a crazy dream, but the funny thing was that it hurt when she pinched herself.
Of course she had seen the movies and read some of the books. Some of Judith's very best friends were Star Wars fanatics. They would never believe her if she ever got back to tell them that she met a pre-Darth Vader Anakin Skywalker. She tried not to think about the possibility of being stuck in this reality. Her eyes stung with just the thought. If someone had told her she would never see Earth again before she met Anakin and had a safe, comfortable bed to sleep in, Judith would have burst into tears on the spot.
The only problem with this reality was that it was different from the story everyone knew. Judith saw the first sign when she saw a toddler-age Luke Skywalker with his mother. The second sign was meeting Anakin, who seemed far from destroying the whole Jedi Order.
Dormé said goodnight and Judith tried to settle back into her cot. She was extremely nervous for her meeting with the Jedi Council the next day (She was going to meet YODA!) and also that she would just start blabbing to Anakin about what should have happened to the galaxy and more importantly...him.
----- ---- --- -- -
Judith woke with a start. It took her a minute to remember where she was. It was still dark in the tiny room and both Dormé and Sabé were fast asleep. Judith had a slight headache and a sense of urgency that she couldn't ignore. Deciding to see what was up, she quietly felt around in the darkness for her jeans and sneakers. Once she was dressed and her hair was tied back, Judith snuck silently out of the room and into the main hallway of Senator Amidala's apartment.
Judith stopped when she heard a slight shoo coming from the far side of the front room. Someone had just arrived in the apartment, and Judith had a very bad feeling about him or her. She pressed herself against the wall, like in all the spy movies, and slunk out into the front room. What she saw was slightly alarming.
It was tall and lean. It was blinking and transparent. A droid stood, fiddling with a circuit on the far wall of the front room. It pulled something that sparked and the dim lighting of the room went out completely. Judith also noticed that the security cameras in the corners were out as well.
Judith had to think fast. She was ordinary in the strength and speed department, and the droid had one of those blaster things. Trusting her instinct, Judith quickly and quietly walked up behind the droid kicked its hand, hard. The blaster fell to the floor and the droid turned around. It had gleaming blue eyes, which flashed when it registered that a human had disarmed it. Judith backed away, trying to remember what she had learned recently in a self-defense class.
She felt a twinge of anticipation and ducked to avoid a punch the droid threw at her. Judith was slightly amazed that she felt the droid's move coming. The thought gave her some confidence and Judith kicked out, hitting the droid right in the gut. It flew across the room and slammed into the opposite wall. A box in its chest, glowing blue, faded a bit when the droid fell.
"Whoa!" Judith exclaimed aloud. Noticing the blue box, Judith decided that that must be the power source. Glancing around, she saw art piece on the coffee table, shaped as a pyramid and crystal clear. Without pausing to think, Judith grabbed the piece and advanced on the droid. It was starting to get up, but Judith concentrated hard and pushed out her hand. As she expected, the droid fell back on the floor. Judith raised the piece over her head and brought it down, stabbing the droid right in its power source.
Some of the blue energy leaked out of its container and the droid fell limp. Disbelieving and out of breath, Judith sank back onto the floor. She had used the Force for the first time.
Another shoo sound rented the air and Judith looked up to see Anakin hurrying into the apartment. He was out of breath as well and he was looking down at Judith in shock.
"What happened?" Anakin asked incredulously, helping Judith up.
"I...I..." she stuttered. Padmé came running from her bedroom in a royal blue robe.
"What happened?" Padmé asked urgently, "Anakin?" He shook his head, having no idea.
"Judith, what is it?" He asked gently.
"I...I...had a headache...woke me up...came out here...it broke a circuit...had a...a...a gun...kicked it out of his hand...he threw a punch...I ducked...kicked him...flew against the wall...picked up the pointy thing...pushed...pulled a Buffy...I...I killed it..." Judith explained in mumbles. Anakin held her shoulder, trying to calm her down. Judith fainted as a result.
"Oops," Anakin said, stooping to pick her up and place her on a couch, "Over did it."
Anakin then went over to examine the broken droid. Padmé joined him and clutched his arm.
"What is that?" she whispered.
"I have never seen anything like this," Anakin replied, taking a closer look, "This droid is very technically advanced." He pried the art piece out of the power source and examined the blue energy splattered in it.
"I'll have to take this to the Temple to be analyzed, but I know one thing for sure," Anakin said, looking at Padmé, "This droid came to cause trouble."
"Are you going to go now?" Padmé asked quietly, gazing at the droid.
"I don't know. This droid looks pretty dangerous. There could be more of them," he said, "I better stay here just in case." Padmé nodded, glad to have Anakin there. Their predicament was so much easier to handle when he was there with her. Just thinking about it made a wave of worry wash over her.
Anakin, sensing this, said, "What's wrong?" Padmé just looked at him. "Oh. I know there's that, but there's something else." Padmé looked down at the droid and all its circuits and remembered the dreams.
"Ani...I've been having these dreams," Padmé said, looking up at him, "And I think I'm seeing the future...and it scares me." Anakin raised his eyebrows.
"What is it?" Anakin asked softly. Padmé shook her head.
"I don't know. I'm seeing Luke and Leia, and they're your age, and they are both alone. In every dream, they are apart. And they are both being chased by this man. He is very tall and wears this...mask. And he carries a lightsaber," Padmé explained, and looked up at him, "Am I seeing the future, Ani?" She specifically left out the part about the man being Anakin.
"I don't know, Angel," he said softly again, "I hope not." He leaned down and gently kissed her.
"Mommy?" came a voice. Anakin and Padmé looked to see the children walking towards them.
"What is it, Leia?" Padmé asked. Leia came up and hugged her leg.
"We're scared. Can we sleep with you?" Luke asked. Anakin picked him up.
"Alright, let's go then," Padmé said, and began leading Leia to her bedroom. Anakin followed with Luke.
She hoped no more dreams would come tonight.
...to be continued.
Post note: Ahh! I finished this chapter FINALLY. And it's long. I get out of school June 12th, so if I don't get another chapter up by then, one will definitely be posted the next week. Review, mes amis!!