A note from the Hime no Argh herself–
Lots more thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing. The reviews are great–I love reading your comments. Please do keep them coming. ;) Here's the next chapter for you, enjoy.
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## UNAUTHORIZED USER LOGON @ 2:38 PM 10.6.92
SENT MESSAGE @ 2:38 PM 10.6.92
redqueen: I killed him and I don't know what to do.
* * *
We returned to the hotel and he told me about it.
The Matrix.
How can I possibly express how it feels to know that the world you've lived in since the moment of your birth is a lie? How can I convey the incredulity, the disbelief, the instinct to deny the truth? It's something that can't be put into words. Perhaps you'll understand, and perhaps you won't, why I denied to the core of my soul all that Morpheus told me.
"It's the truth," was his calm reply to everything I said. He spoke with such assurance, knowing fully that he was right, knowing, even then, that I would come to believe him. He is quite an extraordinary man. Back then, of course, I did not appreciate this. I was too preoccupied with attempting to disprove him. It was a lie, it had to be, because if it wasn't then all the suffering I'd experienced to provide machines with energy made my life worse than worthless.
"It's a lie. I don't believe it. I won't. It can't be true."
We had gone through this routine about twenty times already.
Morpheus sighed and rose from his seat. "I can only offer you the truth, Trinity. I cannot make you believe it. That you must do on your own."
"Are you going?" I asked, briefly forgetting the Matrix in the prospect of being alone once more.
"Yes," he said quietly, "I must. It isn't safe for me to say long inside the Matrix." He brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "Go home now, and think about what I have said. Tell no one what you have heard, understand? We will meet again very soon. When we do, I will offer you a choice."
"What choice?"
"The choice between continuing to sleep...and awakening."
* * *
I called in sick to work that morning. And the next.
On the third day I went, feeling detached from everyone and everything. I had not taken anything or cut myself since speaking with Morpheus. Shock was compensation for pain or a drug rush.
Elaine, who worked in the cubicle next to me, peered over the barrier.
"You okay, Eve? You don't look so good."
I looked at her. She wasn't real. None of this was real.
"Eve?"
"I'm fine." I went back to my work.
"Eve, would you step into my office, please?" Mr. Tepper asked later.
I went, wondering why I was here, passing through another day so normally. Nothing was normal. Not anymore.
"...Been with this company quite some time." Tepper, I realized, was speaking. "I'd like to see you make the most of your career, but considering your recent display of psychological issues–"
My mind abruptly registered what he'd said. "What?"
Tepper grasped my hand in his pudgy fist and turned my arm to expose the jagged, red M and its underlining gash. I stared dully at the marks, unaware that my sleeve hadn't quite been concealing them. Tepper caressed the M, but his touch wasn't comforting as Morpheus's had been. It was dirty. I hated it.
"You're a beautiful woman, Eve. I hate to see you maiming yourself like this. I can help you." His hand strayed up my arm and came to rest on my shoulder. I shuddered instinctively. "Don't be scared."
This was it, I decided. I was done. "I'm leaving and I won't be back, Mr. Tepper. Goodbye."
His hand on my shoulder tightened, pulling my close to him. "Don't go now, Eve." His face was close to mine. I could smell his foul breath. His pudgy hand slid down my back, straying far too low.
I wrenched away from him with a cry of disgust, but he was quicker than I'd anticipated. He grabbed my wrists, shoved me around, and slammed me flat on his desk. As he leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine, I freed a hand and groped desperately over the surface of his desk–
My fingers found the letter opener.
* * *
I went home and went straight to the computer. I tapped furiously at the keyboard.
"I killed him and I don't know what to do."
I might have written more, but decided the message was clear enough. I sat back and waited, staring at the blood from my fingers that stained the keys.
I waited for a half hour. There was no reply. I got up and threw myself into the shower. Blood washed from my hands and streamed down the drain. The water was scalding, but it felt good. I was so cold.
When I was done I put on the first clothes I spotted–jeans and a white tank and combat boots–and went back to the computer. There was a message.
godofdreams: Meet me under the overpass on Route 23 at 4:00 pm.
I looked at my watch. It was 3:45.
I tore out of my apartment and to the bridge, breaking about a dozen speeding laws. Most of Route 23 was deserted, closed for construction. I parked my car near the overpass and dashed down the long slope to the road below.
I spotted Morpheus waiting patiently in the shadows. "I killed him," I said breathlessly by way of greeting.
He turned and asked levelly, "Who?"
"My boss." I was trembling, still recalling the feel of the blade sliding into his neck, cutting tissue and veins as I had fantasized. "He was–he tried to rape me. They'll know it was me, Morpheus. I was the last person anyone saw go into his office. There's blood everywhere–my fingerprints on the letter opener. I got out by the fire escape."
He grimaced, looking off to the side for a moment. I could tell he was doing some quick thinking. "It is sooner than I anticipated, but it's time to pull you out. I cannot risk you being taken into custody."
"I'm sorry. I was careless, I..." I couldn't go on. The weight of what I had done was dawning on me. I had murdered a man.
"You did only what you had to for your protection," Morpheus said quietly. "You are not to be blamed." He nodded toward my car. "We must go somewhere private. May I drive your car?"
"Of course–the keys are in the ignition–" I started toward the car, but Morpheus gripped my arm suddenly to stop me.
"What is it?" I asked, glancing back at him, but he wasn't looking at me.
He was gazing at the two men dressed in business suits and sunglasses, making their way toward us. "Get behind me," Morpheus ordered me quietly. "Now."
"Who are they?" I whispered as I obeyed.
"Agents."
I could tell from the way he said the word that we were in trouble.
* * *
To be continued.