Chapter Two
The atmosphere around the laboratories was heavy with sound.
The pulse of the air conditioning and the whirring of the computers and the other equipment -- all those things she couldn't name, complex coils of machinery and circuitry far from the simpler practice of her skills -- hummed at the back of her head, beating in a rhythm that was only noticeable if concentrated upon. Otherwise it went unheard, dismissed as background noise, as much part of the surroundings as the whisper of her long tails of hair.
"I could take a turn," Doku said, sitting down next to her with a thump. The thin-legged laboratory chair gave slightly as he settled onto it, plastic creaking and straining. "You don't have to play liaison here all the time."
Yaone shrugged. "It gives me something to do." I used to look after Lirin. You used to look after Kou. We're hardly busy now.
"You've got your hair up," he observed.
She turned and looked at him more carefully than she had before. "And?"
"So are you expecting a fight?" He raised one hand defensively. "No, it's okay. Don't worry. This whole place feels as if it's about to snap. No wonder . . ." He trailed off. One hand drifted down to fiddle with the skirts of his coat, vivid against the white silk.
Yaone observed him closely for the first time in several days. The markings on his face stood out more prominently than before. Shadows were smeared under his eyes like kohl. "Your skin is like parchment," she said, and wondered at her own words. "When did you last sleep?"
"When did you last sleep?"
She shrugged again, and repressed the urge to twitch nervously. That shouldn't come for a while yet. She knew how to dose herself to stay awake. She couldn't afford to sleep yet. "A couple of nights ago," she lied. "Last night -- was . . . well. You know. No wonder."
"No wonder," he repeated flatly. The corridor to either side was empty. "Have you seen Kou today?"
"Not for a couple of days."
"What are we going to do if he takes us out into the field to -- you know." Doku didn't meet her eyes.
I'm counting the minutes till it happens. Hadn't you even thought about that? "We cope," she said flatly. "We follow orders. We get the sutra."
"That simple?"
Yaone lowered her voice. "Has it occurred to you that if Kougaiji-sama's mother is restored, she is one of the few people round here who might be able to deal with certain current problems?"
Doku blinked, and looked at her properly, seeing her for the first time. "But Gyokumen took her down before," he said, in a voice which begged, convince me otherwise, persuade me, tell me we have a chance.
"Gyokumen must have caught her by surprise," Yaone said softly. "Rasetsu was the Empress. She couldn't have been a weakling. And Kougaiji-sama was -- is -- her son."
"And what about the Emperor?"
Yaone set her teeth. "What about the Emperor? He's not our problem. Perhaps Heaven will send the Toushin Taishi down to deal with him again. Perhaps Kougaiji-sama himself will do something about his father, once he's been restored. Kougaiji-sama is our concern. Isn't he?"
Doku reached over and squeezed her shoulder, but she could tell that she hadn't managed to convince him. "Of course."
"We have to try." Her words were for herself rather than Dokugakuji. Poison, murder, treachery, anything, all of it. "We must have faith."
His hand was warm and large on her shoulder, and once again she found herself reminded of the difference in height and size between the two of them. He for physical strength, Kougaiji-sama for spiritual power -- either of them could break her like a stalk of grass if ever they wanted to. I the apothecary, I the servant, I the scholar -- I the mouse. "You don't know what he means to me," she said, barely audible.
"You have no idea what he means to me." There was an unexpected note of anger to Doku's voice. She looked up at him again, feeling his hand tighten on her shoulder, grinding flesh against bone.
Anger coiled in her belly. "Just because I'm not . . ."
"Not what?"
There was a crash from inside the laboratory.
They both turned to stare at the closed door.
Doku was the first across the corridor, half a step ahead of Yaone.
The laboratory door was unlocked. The room stank of cigarettes, filthy with the smell rather than simply pungent, with an undertone of mould and old paper. The two other researchers were absent. Nii Jieni was obvious, a sprawled unconscious mass on the floor, lanky arms outthrown and dirty white coat fallen behind him like wings, a lit cigarette smouldering itself away beside him. A shattered computer monitor on the floor by his hand explained the noise.
"I don't believe it," Doku said, eyes slowly widening in shock and delight. "I don't fucking believe it!"
Yaone was faster. She had to make sure that Doku couldn't possibly be blamed for this, as the Empress would certainly be wanting someone's head -- and other vital organs -- on a pole. They had each other for alibi outside the door, but now she needed to keep him away from the scientist. Until I'm sure that he's dead. She dropped to her knees next to the man, and touched his neck lightly, checking his pulse.
Alive. Damn. "He's alive," she said, and bit down on her feelings. "You'd better fetch Howan-hakase."
Doku stood there, looking down at her, and she could read the thoughts in his eyes, the temptation, the possibility, everything that she herself had already weighed out in her mind. Then he nodded, and left at a quick run.
And does he know what I'm about to do? Or is it just something that he could never do himself, and which he wouldn't believe that I could consider?
She flipped out a tiny pill from one of the phials at her waist, and brought it to Nii Jieni's lips.
Here's something to fill your mouth, she thought.
He caught her wrist, hot nicotine-stained fingers wrapping round her gloved wrist faster than she would have thought possible for a human, and his eyes flicked open behind his dirty glasses. "Too obvious," he said, in that moment when she was stunned and frozen in shock. "And you were doing so well up till then, too."
She wouldn't let herself think about the implications of that, not yet, not for the moment. "Shut up and take your medicine," she hissed, free hand going round his throat to hold him in place.
"Anh . . ." His other hand pried at her fingers, trying to loosen her grip, just strong enough to stop her strangling him properly. "Maa . . . didn't think you cared," he whispered, barely audible above the low hum of the computers.
"Always."
"Improving?" Their position, their struggle, didn't touch his face at all. He still smiled that unholy, knowing smile. "You want your prince back, don't you?"
"Don't try to manipulate me." The pill moved closer to his lips.
"You know what you want. Good first step. Better than him."
For a moment, his eyes flicked to the glass tube that stood in pride of place on one wall, and her own eyes followed the movement. That was where he'd kept Kougaiji-sama, twisted him, warped him . . . her fingers tightened on his throat.
"There's a way to get him back."
She could feel his pulse. In a moment she wouldn't need to ever feel his pulse again.
"What would your Kougaiji-sama think of what you're doing?"
"He's not my Kougaiji-sama." She leaned forward, and her hair fell in vivid streaks across his white shirt and coat. "I am doing this because I want. It. Done."
He was stronger than she'd expected. She just needed a few seconds longer.
His breath smelled of cigarettes and coffee.
The sound of the machines was dying away, leaving the two of them in a bubble of silence.
"Your Kougaiji-sama doesn't care about Rasetsu any more." Nii Jieni pushed her fingers back a fraction of an inch. "He won't free her."
And then nothing will change, and even if we get the sutra, Gyumaoh will return, and he will never be our Kougaiji-sama again, and . . .
"No," she hissed, but she could hear the weakness in her own voice.
"I'll play a game with you," Nii whispered. "In just a minute. I'll let go and we'll see if you kill me."
She lifted her eyebrows, watching him, not letting go, not relaxing the tension of her muscles.
"You know why I work for the Empress, mm? Because. Just because. Because she knows what she wants and I enjoy giving people what they want. I asked the prince what he wanted, mm? Sa Jien remembers that. You should ask him about it. Your prince didn't know. Pity, that? But you know. Don't you?"
It was like a scream inside her. He gave me mercy when I failed, grace when I despaired, protection when I would have died. And there is nothing that I can do now to bring him back, nothing except kill the person who did it to him . . .
"You want it, mm? I can give you tools. And we'll see what happens."
There was nothing but truth in his eyes and voice and face. A truth that would enjoy seeing her break and fall, and all the more because he had given her the chance.
I would damn myself for a thousand years to save him.
He let go.
There were running feet in the distance.
There was still time to force the pill down his lying throat, to hold him still as he choked and convulsed and spat out bloody foam and died.
There was time to do anything at all.
There was time to remember that Kougaiji-sama had trusted her to serve him loyally and wisely, that he had told her to live, and that he had let her walk into danger and known that she would not hesitate to do whatever was necessary.
. . . for a thousand years . . .
Yaone sat back on her knees, and took her hands away from Nii Jieni, and slipped the pill away in its customary place.
Doku and Howan-hakase and a gaggle of servants came in, running around and yattering and waving hands in the air, listening to Nii's lying excuse that he had fallen and struck his head. He smiled at Howan-hakase, and she looked away with tightened lips.
Yaone met Doku's eyes, but this time they were dark and unreadable, and she didn't know whether he was thinking, I knew you wouldn't kill him or How could you let him live?
---
The atmosphere around the laboratories was heavy with sound.
The pulse of the air conditioning and the whirring of the computers and the other equipment -- all those things she couldn't name, complex coils of machinery and circuitry far from the simpler practice of her skills -- hummed at the back of her head, beating in a rhythm that was only noticeable if concentrated upon. Otherwise it went unheard, dismissed as background noise, as much part of the surroundings as the whisper of her long tails of hair.
"I could take a turn," Doku said, sitting down next to her with a thump. The thin-legged laboratory chair gave slightly as he settled onto it, plastic creaking and straining. "You don't have to play liaison here all the time."
Yaone shrugged. "It gives me something to do." I used to look after Lirin. You used to look after Kou. We're hardly busy now.
"You've got your hair up," he observed.
She turned and looked at him more carefully than she had before. "And?"
"So are you expecting a fight?" He raised one hand defensively. "No, it's okay. Don't worry. This whole place feels as if it's about to snap. No wonder . . ." He trailed off. One hand drifted down to fiddle with the skirts of his coat, vivid against the white silk.
Yaone observed him closely for the first time in several days. The markings on his face stood out more prominently than before. Shadows were smeared under his eyes like kohl. "Your skin is like parchment," she said, and wondered at her own words. "When did you last sleep?"
"When did you last sleep?"
She shrugged again, and repressed the urge to twitch nervously. That shouldn't come for a while yet. She knew how to dose herself to stay awake. She couldn't afford to sleep yet. "A couple of nights ago," she lied. "Last night -- was . . . well. You know. No wonder."
"No wonder," he repeated flatly. The corridor to either side was empty. "Have you seen Kou today?"
"Not for a couple of days."
"What are we going to do if he takes us out into the field to -- you know." Doku didn't meet her eyes.
I'm counting the minutes till it happens. Hadn't you even thought about that? "We cope," she said flatly. "We follow orders. We get the sutra."
"That simple?"
Yaone lowered her voice. "Has it occurred to you that if Kougaiji-sama's mother is restored, she is one of the few people round here who might be able to deal with certain current problems?"
Doku blinked, and looked at her properly, seeing her for the first time. "But Gyokumen took her down before," he said, in a voice which begged, convince me otherwise, persuade me, tell me we have a chance.
"Gyokumen must have caught her by surprise," Yaone said softly. "Rasetsu was the Empress. She couldn't have been a weakling. And Kougaiji-sama was -- is -- her son."
"And what about the Emperor?"
Yaone set her teeth. "What about the Emperor? He's not our problem. Perhaps Heaven will send the Toushin Taishi down to deal with him again. Perhaps Kougaiji-sama himself will do something about his father, once he's been restored. Kougaiji-sama is our concern. Isn't he?"
Doku reached over and squeezed her shoulder, but she could tell that she hadn't managed to convince him. "Of course."
"We have to try." Her words were for herself rather than Dokugakuji. Poison, murder, treachery, anything, all of it. "We must have faith."
His hand was warm and large on her shoulder, and once again she found herself reminded of the difference in height and size between the two of them. He for physical strength, Kougaiji-sama for spiritual power -- either of them could break her like a stalk of grass if ever they wanted to. I the apothecary, I the servant, I the scholar -- I the mouse. "You don't know what he means to me," she said, barely audible.
"You have no idea what he means to me." There was an unexpected note of anger to Doku's voice. She looked up at him again, feeling his hand tighten on her shoulder, grinding flesh against bone.
Anger coiled in her belly. "Just because I'm not . . ."
"Not what?"
There was a crash from inside the laboratory.
They both turned to stare at the closed door.
Doku was the first across the corridor, half a step ahead of Yaone.
The laboratory door was unlocked. The room stank of cigarettes, filthy with the smell rather than simply pungent, with an undertone of mould and old paper. The two other researchers were absent. Nii Jieni was obvious, a sprawled unconscious mass on the floor, lanky arms outthrown and dirty white coat fallen behind him like wings, a lit cigarette smouldering itself away beside him. A shattered computer monitor on the floor by his hand explained the noise.
"I don't believe it," Doku said, eyes slowly widening in shock and delight. "I don't fucking believe it!"
Yaone was faster. She had to make sure that Doku couldn't possibly be blamed for this, as the Empress would certainly be wanting someone's head -- and other vital organs -- on a pole. They had each other for alibi outside the door, but now she needed to keep him away from the scientist. Until I'm sure that he's dead. She dropped to her knees next to the man, and touched his neck lightly, checking his pulse.
Alive. Damn. "He's alive," she said, and bit down on her feelings. "You'd better fetch Howan-hakase."
Doku stood there, looking down at her, and she could read the thoughts in his eyes, the temptation, the possibility, everything that she herself had already weighed out in her mind. Then he nodded, and left at a quick run.
And does he know what I'm about to do? Or is it just something that he could never do himself, and which he wouldn't believe that I could consider?
She flipped out a tiny pill from one of the phials at her waist, and brought it to Nii Jieni's lips.
Here's something to fill your mouth, she thought.
He caught her wrist, hot nicotine-stained fingers wrapping round her gloved wrist faster than she would have thought possible for a human, and his eyes flicked open behind his dirty glasses. "Too obvious," he said, in that moment when she was stunned and frozen in shock. "And you were doing so well up till then, too."
She wouldn't let herself think about the implications of that, not yet, not for the moment. "Shut up and take your medicine," she hissed, free hand going round his throat to hold him in place.
"Anh . . ." His other hand pried at her fingers, trying to loosen her grip, just strong enough to stop her strangling him properly. "Maa . . . didn't think you cared," he whispered, barely audible above the low hum of the computers.
"Always."
"Improving?" Their position, their struggle, didn't touch his face at all. He still smiled that unholy, knowing smile. "You want your prince back, don't you?"
"Don't try to manipulate me." The pill moved closer to his lips.
"You know what you want. Good first step. Better than him."
For a moment, his eyes flicked to the glass tube that stood in pride of place on one wall, and her own eyes followed the movement. That was where he'd kept Kougaiji-sama, twisted him, warped him . . . her fingers tightened on his throat.
"There's a way to get him back."
She could feel his pulse. In a moment she wouldn't need to ever feel his pulse again.
"What would your Kougaiji-sama think of what you're doing?"
"He's not my Kougaiji-sama." She leaned forward, and her hair fell in vivid streaks across his white shirt and coat. "I am doing this because I want. It. Done."
He was stronger than she'd expected. She just needed a few seconds longer.
His breath smelled of cigarettes and coffee.
The sound of the machines was dying away, leaving the two of them in a bubble of silence.
"Your Kougaiji-sama doesn't care about Rasetsu any more." Nii Jieni pushed her fingers back a fraction of an inch. "He won't free her."
And then nothing will change, and even if we get the sutra, Gyumaoh will return, and he will never be our Kougaiji-sama again, and . . .
"No," she hissed, but she could hear the weakness in her own voice.
"I'll play a game with you," Nii whispered. "In just a minute. I'll let go and we'll see if you kill me."
She lifted her eyebrows, watching him, not letting go, not relaxing the tension of her muscles.
"You know why I work for the Empress, mm? Because. Just because. Because she knows what she wants and I enjoy giving people what they want. I asked the prince what he wanted, mm? Sa Jien remembers that. You should ask him about it. Your prince didn't know. Pity, that? But you know. Don't you?"
It was like a scream inside her. He gave me mercy when I failed, grace when I despaired, protection when I would have died. And there is nothing that I can do now to bring him back, nothing except kill the person who did it to him . . .
"You want it, mm? I can give you tools. And we'll see what happens."
There was nothing but truth in his eyes and voice and face. A truth that would enjoy seeing her break and fall, and all the more because he had given her the chance.
I would damn myself for a thousand years to save him.
He let go.
There were running feet in the distance.
There was still time to force the pill down his lying throat, to hold him still as he choked and convulsed and spat out bloody foam and died.
There was time to do anything at all.
There was time to remember that Kougaiji-sama had trusted her to serve him loyally and wisely, that he had told her to live, and that he had let her walk into danger and known that she would not hesitate to do whatever was necessary.
. . . for a thousand years . . .
Yaone sat back on her knees, and took her hands away from Nii Jieni, and slipped the pill away in its customary place.
Doku and Howan-hakase and a gaggle of servants came in, running around and yattering and waving hands in the air, listening to Nii's lying excuse that he had fallen and struck his head. He smiled at Howan-hakase, and she looked away with tightened lips.
Yaone met Doku's eyes, but this time they were dark and unreadable, and she didn't know whether he was thinking, I knew you wouldn't kill him or How could you let him live?
---
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