Hey, hey, hey... I'm having a very productive day at work today writing fan fiction. Heehee. I like this chapter. It's happy. And happy is good :) Please let me know what you think--read and review... read and review... keep repeating those words to yourself! :)
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Chapter 6
I arrived at the warehouse almost 45 minutes early, hoping to have a few spare minutes to think. I was surprised, though, to find Vaughn's car already in the parking lot.
I took a few moments to brace myself for what I knew was coming. After a lot of thought that day, I had convinced myself that I could do it—that I could be totally professional when I was with Vaughn, that I could keep my feelings bottled up in a totally different part of my brain. I did it every day with issues at work. Why not here as well?
I took a few more deep breaths to calm myself down, before walking confidently into the warehouse.
He was standing in his normal spot, his back propped up against the chain link fence. His eyes were downcast and his brow was furrowed. I walked into the room silently, watching him for several moments and fighting the onslaught of emotions that hit me every time I was in the same room with him. I pushed the emotions back, as I always did.
"Hey…" I said softly. Vaughn jumped at the sound of my voice.
"God. Syd. I didn't hear you come in."
"Sorry," I said, moving slightly closer to him. "I'm early."
He shook his head. "No problem." He glanced away from me, clearing his throat, and worrying the collar of his wrinkled Oxford shirt with one hand. His eyes were sad, or frightened. I couldn't tell exactly which. But I could definitely see that he was on edge—more nervous than I had ever seen him before.
"Listen, Vaughn," I said after several moments of awkward silence. He glanced up at me hesitantly. "I think I know why you asked me here."
"You do?" He asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
"Yeah. And Vaughn—" He raised his hand, motioning for me to stop talking.
"Before you say anything, Syd," he said. "Let me say what I came here to say. I had a whole speech running through my head all day."
I nodded, frowning, and wondered why he didn't seem more upset. "Ok," I said hesitantly.
He paused for a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts.
"Listen," he said finally. "I've known you for a long time now."
"Almost two and a half years," I said automatically.
He nodded before continuing. "Exactly. And to be honest, I thought that I would work with you for a month or two, and then we'd go our separate ways. I never thought we'd have come so far together—that we'd be standing here today."
I remained silent for a moment, waiting for him to continue. He cleared his throat nervously, and I frowned, preparing myself for the news that I had been dreading all day.
"Syd…I don't want to ruin our friendship. It means everything to me. But I can't go to work and see you every day without telling you…"
I looked away, wanting to shout at him to spit it out—to put me out of my misery.
"I love you, Syd…" he said quietly, staring at the floor. I froze, feeling as if my heart had stopped.
"What?" I said, more sharply than I had intended.
"I didn't know how to tell you," he said. "It's not like our lives are normal. We can't go out on dates. We can't even see each other in public. And everything about this is dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt because of something that I feel."
"Wait," I said, my mind slowly catching up with his words. "You love me."
He nodded. "And I understand that you probably don't feel the same way. It's ok. I just wanted you to know. If you feel like you'd be better off with a different handler, I'd understand." He looked away, trying to hide the sadness in his eyes.
I gaped at him, knowing full well that my mouth was hanging open in shock. I needed to say something, but I couldn't. All the sadness that had enveloped me all day had suddenly melted away, leaving me with an unspeakable feeling of elation.
Vaughn looked at me, the disappointment raw in his eyes. He had obviously misinterpreted my silence. His jaw tensed.
"I'll talk with Devlin about having you reassigned to a new handler. I'm sure that Weiss would be willing—" I cut him off, finally finding my voice.
"You love me?" I said again, my voice softer.
"Yes, Sydney," Vaughn said, his voice rising harshly. "I'm sorry. I love you. What else can I say?" He paused, sighing. "Listen. I'm sorry I told you. It would have been better to keep it to myself."
"No!" I said quickly. "I mean, I'm glad you told me." I hesitated, smiling at my stupidity. "I thought you asked me here to tell me that you didn't love me. I thought that—well—you had left that note Saturday morning, and it was just so—I don't know. I thought that Friday night hadn't meant anything to you.
He looked at me, confused. "Of course it meant something. You mean something to me, Syd. You mean everything to me. I wouldn't have come to your house that night if you didn't. But I couldn't just come out and say that I love you in a note. Besides," he said. "It's ok. I understand that we're friends, and that's how you want us to stay." He glanced away.
"Vaughn." I said, waiting until he looked back up at me. "I never said I wanted to stay friends." He frowned, and I continued before his mind started jumping to more conclusions. "I love you, too, Vaughn. I have for awhile, but I didn't want to say anything. For the same reasons as you. For our friendship. And for our safety. And because I thought you didn't feel the same way."
This time it was Vaughn who was taken off guard. He stood for a moment in shocked silence, before breaking out in a huge smile.
I returned his smile, relief washing over me in a wave. I watched him as he took a hesitant step towards me.
"So what should we do?" He asked, the smile still plastered on his face, but his eyes serious. "How should we handle this?"
I shook my head. "I don't know."
"It's going to be complicated," Vaughn said, taking another step towards me.
"And dangerous," I responded.
"I want to be a part of your life, Syd." I smiled, realizing that he was only about six inches away from me.
"I want that, too," I replied. He reached out, grabbing my hand, and kissed my knuckles lightly. I shivered at the touch, having a hard time believing that any of this was happening. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his fingers on my fingers, and before I knew it, I felt his lips press softly against mine. Our kiss was gentle. Slow. Nothing like I had imagined it would be. And yet so much better. So much more.
We pulled away silently, my eyes still closed as he pulled me to him, his embrace conveying the depths of his emotions in a way that words never could.
"I love you, Syd," he whispered, his words soft and muffled by my hair.
"I love you too, Vaughn," I said, pulling away and smiling at him, enjoying the way the phrase rolled off of my tongue.
I sighed. Both of us knew that it was time to go. I had a mission to prepare for, and I was leaving early in the morning. We couldn't linger at the warehouse any longer than necessary.
Vaughn nodded, not needing to ask what I was thinking about.
"Please be careful in Australia, Syd."
I smiled at him. "I'm always careful."
"I know," he replied. "Be extra careful."
"I will." He smiled, satisfied. "See you in five days," I said, leaning in one more time to place a soft kiss on his lips, before pulling away.
"Vaughn nodded, and without another word, I turned, walking away from him. Before leaving, though, I turned and smiled, my heart fluttering one last time as he returned my smile with a brilliant one of his own.
I waved, then disappeared through the doorway.
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So there you go. Hope you all liked it. Reviews! Please!
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Chapter 6
I arrived at the warehouse almost 45 minutes early, hoping to have a few spare minutes to think. I was surprised, though, to find Vaughn's car already in the parking lot.
I took a few moments to brace myself for what I knew was coming. After a lot of thought that day, I had convinced myself that I could do it—that I could be totally professional when I was with Vaughn, that I could keep my feelings bottled up in a totally different part of my brain. I did it every day with issues at work. Why not here as well?
I took a few more deep breaths to calm myself down, before walking confidently into the warehouse.
He was standing in his normal spot, his back propped up against the chain link fence. His eyes were downcast and his brow was furrowed. I walked into the room silently, watching him for several moments and fighting the onslaught of emotions that hit me every time I was in the same room with him. I pushed the emotions back, as I always did.
"Hey…" I said softly. Vaughn jumped at the sound of my voice.
"God. Syd. I didn't hear you come in."
"Sorry," I said, moving slightly closer to him. "I'm early."
He shook his head. "No problem." He glanced away from me, clearing his throat, and worrying the collar of his wrinkled Oxford shirt with one hand. His eyes were sad, or frightened. I couldn't tell exactly which. But I could definitely see that he was on edge—more nervous than I had ever seen him before.
"Listen, Vaughn," I said after several moments of awkward silence. He glanced up at me hesitantly. "I think I know why you asked me here."
"You do?" He asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
"Yeah. And Vaughn—" He raised his hand, motioning for me to stop talking.
"Before you say anything, Syd," he said. "Let me say what I came here to say. I had a whole speech running through my head all day."
I nodded, frowning, and wondered why he didn't seem more upset. "Ok," I said hesitantly.
He paused for a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts.
"Listen," he said finally. "I've known you for a long time now."
"Almost two and a half years," I said automatically.
He nodded before continuing. "Exactly. And to be honest, I thought that I would work with you for a month or two, and then we'd go our separate ways. I never thought we'd have come so far together—that we'd be standing here today."
I remained silent for a moment, waiting for him to continue. He cleared his throat nervously, and I frowned, preparing myself for the news that I had been dreading all day.
"Syd…I don't want to ruin our friendship. It means everything to me. But I can't go to work and see you every day without telling you…"
I looked away, wanting to shout at him to spit it out—to put me out of my misery.
"I love you, Syd…" he said quietly, staring at the floor. I froze, feeling as if my heart had stopped.
"What?" I said, more sharply than I had intended.
"I didn't know how to tell you," he said. "It's not like our lives are normal. We can't go out on dates. We can't even see each other in public. And everything about this is dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt because of something that I feel."
"Wait," I said, my mind slowly catching up with his words. "You love me."
He nodded. "And I understand that you probably don't feel the same way. It's ok. I just wanted you to know. If you feel like you'd be better off with a different handler, I'd understand." He looked away, trying to hide the sadness in his eyes.
I gaped at him, knowing full well that my mouth was hanging open in shock. I needed to say something, but I couldn't. All the sadness that had enveloped me all day had suddenly melted away, leaving me with an unspeakable feeling of elation.
Vaughn looked at me, the disappointment raw in his eyes. He had obviously misinterpreted my silence. His jaw tensed.
"I'll talk with Devlin about having you reassigned to a new handler. I'm sure that Weiss would be willing—" I cut him off, finally finding my voice.
"You love me?" I said again, my voice softer.
"Yes, Sydney," Vaughn said, his voice rising harshly. "I'm sorry. I love you. What else can I say?" He paused, sighing. "Listen. I'm sorry I told you. It would have been better to keep it to myself."
"No!" I said quickly. "I mean, I'm glad you told me." I hesitated, smiling at my stupidity. "I thought you asked me here to tell me that you didn't love me. I thought that—well—you had left that note Saturday morning, and it was just so—I don't know. I thought that Friday night hadn't meant anything to you.
He looked at me, confused. "Of course it meant something. You mean something to me, Syd. You mean everything to me. I wouldn't have come to your house that night if you didn't. But I couldn't just come out and say that I love you in a note. Besides," he said. "It's ok. I understand that we're friends, and that's how you want us to stay." He glanced away.
"Vaughn." I said, waiting until he looked back up at me. "I never said I wanted to stay friends." He frowned, and I continued before his mind started jumping to more conclusions. "I love you, too, Vaughn. I have for awhile, but I didn't want to say anything. For the same reasons as you. For our friendship. And for our safety. And because I thought you didn't feel the same way."
This time it was Vaughn who was taken off guard. He stood for a moment in shocked silence, before breaking out in a huge smile.
I returned his smile, relief washing over me in a wave. I watched him as he took a hesitant step towards me.
"So what should we do?" He asked, the smile still plastered on his face, but his eyes serious. "How should we handle this?"
I shook my head. "I don't know."
"It's going to be complicated," Vaughn said, taking another step towards me.
"And dangerous," I responded.
"I want to be a part of your life, Syd." I smiled, realizing that he was only about six inches away from me.
"I want that, too," I replied. He reached out, grabbing my hand, and kissed my knuckles lightly. I shivered at the touch, having a hard time believing that any of this was happening. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his fingers on my fingers, and before I knew it, I felt his lips press softly against mine. Our kiss was gentle. Slow. Nothing like I had imagined it would be. And yet so much better. So much more.
We pulled away silently, my eyes still closed as he pulled me to him, his embrace conveying the depths of his emotions in a way that words never could.
"I love you, Syd," he whispered, his words soft and muffled by my hair.
"I love you too, Vaughn," I said, pulling away and smiling at him, enjoying the way the phrase rolled off of my tongue.
I sighed. Both of us knew that it was time to go. I had a mission to prepare for, and I was leaving early in the morning. We couldn't linger at the warehouse any longer than necessary.
Vaughn nodded, not needing to ask what I was thinking about.
"Please be careful in Australia, Syd."
I smiled at him. "I'm always careful."
"I know," he replied. "Be extra careful."
"I will." He smiled, satisfied. "See you in five days," I said, leaning in one more time to place a soft kiss on his lips, before pulling away.
"Vaughn nodded, and without another word, I turned, walking away from him. Before leaving, though, I turned and smiled, my heart fluttering one last time as he returned my smile with a brilliant one of his own.
I waved, then disappeared through the doorway.
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So there you go. Hope you all liked it. Reviews! Please!