Why . . .? How could I have been such . . . an . . . idiot . . .? So blind
to what I felt for you . . . although I could see it perfectly well. You
loved me, and I loved you . . . but I just couldn't leave it at that.
^*^*^*^*^
Here's the 6th chapter for you. ^^ I hope you enjoy it! Although things will get kinda sad, I do plan on a happy ending. ^^-
^*^*^*^*^
I don't own it I tell you!
^*^*^*^*^
I opened my eyes to see it was now 6:32 am, about time for me to get up. I sat up, and then looked down to where Hiei slept, he was asleep again, or at least he looked like he was.
I softly walked out of bed, as not to wake him. Luckily, being a thief and a fox, I was rather good at this, so I made it to my bathroom unseen.
I closed the door, started the water running for the shower and then turned to look at myself in the mirror. I didn't at all like I used to, normal, carefree . . . sure my body looked the same but- . . . something just wasn't right . . . I looked sad . . .
^*^*^*^*^
Something had happened to Kurama, but what? I could tell from the way he looked at me. Maybe I should look into his thoughts . . . no . . . I've decided not to do that anymore, gets a man into too much trouble.
I thought about asking him, but in the end decided not to, like I decided on most things that may show concern.
After a few minutes the door to Kurama's bathroom opened so I quickly closed my eyes and again pretended to be sleeping.
After I was sure he wasn't looking, I opened my eyes just a little to see him at his dresser, wearing a very soft looking robe, gathering up his clothes, in this case his school uniform.
He then turned to look at me and I gave him a scowl. Yes, I was sure . . . something wasn't right, I could tell from the look in his eye.
"What happened fox? Girl dump you?" I said to him mockingly, obviously trying to make him feel worse about what he already felt bad enough about.
"No Hiei, and if you must know out of all the women I've ever met here the only one I've ever liked is Shiori . . ." He snapped back at me harshly as he walked back into the bathroom.
A little flashing light went off in my head and I made a mental note of it, Kurama = bitch today . . . BACK OFF.
The fact that Kurama got mad made me think a little harder . . . what exactly had happened to the guy? He never got mad . . . I always sort of relied on that so I could poke fun at him.
At least his little problem would keep his mind off my secret that really shouldn't even be in this house, and actually it wouldn't be for long. As soon as Kurama left for school I would take it out of it's hiding place, probably the worst hiding place it could ever been in, Kurama's desk drawer, and burn it or burry it or something.
Another light went off in my mind, reminding me of another mental note I had made and forgotten about . . . it was, Tonight = remove secret from hiding spot and relocate to better one. I had made that one last night . . .
I remembered that Kurama's school books among other things were also in there . . . if I didn't get it out fast he'd find it for sure!
I remember I had placed it between two books . . . but even if he didn't see it he'd still get to it before the day was out. Damn it . . . I should start using post-it notes instead of mental notes.
I jumped up off of this cursed thing I had to sleep on and was to make my way over to the desk . . . but that's when the door opened and Kurama saw me crawling on his bed . . . it was the fastest way to his desk of course.
I hope I didn't do anything that would upset him . . . I mean I know it seems as though I don't care about anything but- . . . inside I'm completely different person . . . I just can't show it with my voice or actions. Of course he'd have to be in some kind of a bad mood to get mad at someone for touching his bed . . . wouldn't he? What's there to be mad at?
Uh oh . . . I had another problem . . . my secret was still in there. Damn.
"Hiei . . . what are you doing?" He asked in his normal tone, although it sounded forced, and phony.
"Quickest way to the other side of the room idiot." I grunted at him as I hopped off and folded my arms.
"Alright Hiei . . . well I'm going downstairs . . . it would seem suspicious if you didn't come down with me . . . and well maybe we should- . . . never mind." He said seeming a little more normal as he started for the door.
"Whatever . . ." I said rolling my eyes as I walked over to him. "Wheat else do I have to do? And you better be trying to get me out of this!" I asked him along with adding that I really didn't want to live here anymore, I didn't . . . it wasn't right . . . it's not how I live.
"Well I was thinking maybe we hold hands." He said looking a little scared of me . . . I'm glad he felt threatened, keeps him out.
"What!? NO!" I yelled being sure to give him a strange look.
"If we don't do things like that every once in a while my mother will never buy it." Kurama said looking a little like I did.
" . . . NO!" I snapped back at his folding my arms and moving my glance at the wall.
"Alright . . . but we'll have to do something sometime or she'll get suspicious . . ." He said as he started to brush his hair.
"Damn it," I started. "You know I could just leave here and now."
"Hiei, please don't . . ." He said putting down his brush and looking over at me with his sad emerald eyes.
I expected him to say more . . . was his statement finished? It didn't seem right . . . had he REALLY developed feelings for me? That would just make things difficult. I didn't want to work with, let alone LIVE with, someone who had feelings for me. Especially Kurama . . . I grunted and turned to look at him, hoping to see exactly what was wrong, but all I saw was a deep sadness and longing.
I stared into his eyes finding incredible amounts of hurt.
A real friend would have comforted him and tried to help! Or at least asked what was wrong . . . I did neither.
I was really surprised I didn't do more than a real friend would . . .
^*^*^*^*^
"Well Hiei . . . let's go." I said to him as I opened my door.
"N-no . . ." He said sounding nervous, which sounded very strange. "I'll come down in a few minutes." He continued looking over at me coldly.
That cold stare made me feel even worse . . . what I really just wanted more than anything . . . was to be able to look at him with love and get the same in return. But that most diffidently was not going to happen.
"Why Hiei?" I asked him, staring with my eyes just wanting so desperately.
Hiei seemed to be pulled into the vast emptiness I showed to him. He just stared into my eyes, seemingly looking for something, anything, but there just was nothing there. Except something I hid all too well . . . my love for him.
"I . . . I have to get dressed." He said casually.
"Hiei, you don't have your clothes back yet remember? But, you can use some of mine." I said walking over to my closet.
My eyes half way closed and I just for the moment felt again the warmth I felt with him in my arms as I passed by him.
I stopped about a foot behind him, not quite at the closet yet. I could tell my heart was trying to tell me something, something important that it knew and I needed to know . . . but I just couldn't understand. And then, for some reason, I turned around to face Hiei, he was looking at me with a hint of curiosity behind his cold mask. I took a step closer, so I was standing right in front of him, and I reached out and put my hand on his cheek.
I don't know why I did it . . . I guess I just couldn't bare being without the feel of his skin against mine for another moment.
I smiled at him softly, and for that second . . . I felt happy again, happy to be with Hiei.
And the he reached up a little, took my lips with his, and kissed me softly.
My heart pounded with excitement! I didn't know exactly what he meant by it, but I did know that it was indeed happening!
I moved my hand from his cheek around his neck and pushed my head forward into his kiss.
He didn't do much of anything in response but he didn't pull away, so I put my other hand around his waist, pulled myself closer to him and slowly walked us over to my bed where I leaned myself on him.
He then began to struggle. I know the right thing would be to of stopped, but I didn't want to let him go . . . I loved him.
I overcame my temptations and backed away from Hiei. I opened my eyes and stared at him feeling unbelievably embarrassed.
A devilish smirk cam across his lips as he said to me, "So that's it,"
My eyes widened, I started to blush uncontrollably, and my heart might as well have turned to dust.
"Hiei I . . ." Was all I could force myself to say.
"I had a feeling," He said in knowing voice. "That you had developed feelings for me . . . and that is why you've been acting so strange."
"I . . . please don't . . ." I stammered finding it hard to feel my legs.
"You're hungry fox, and as long as I feed you sooner or later you'll be satisfied." He said glaring over at me.
"No Hiei it's not that I- . . . I just . . . Hiei please, I really don't want to bring this up ever again." I told him feeling my heart sink.
"I know that's a lie." He said walking over to me and staring at me in the eye. "You will . . . get over it. And until you do, I'll wait. And I will give you a little every now and then to help you along. I won't lose a partner like you." He told me with a trustworthy look on his face.
Maybe he was right . . . maybe I would get over him.
^*^*^*^*^
Yugijouoh: Don't kid yourself Kurama! I know Hiei was a little OOC but he kinda had to be . . . oh well! Heheh . . . anyhew please review! ^^-
^*^*^*^*^
Here's the 6th chapter for you. ^^ I hope you enjoy it! Although things will get kinda sad, I do plan on a happy ending. ^^-
^*^*^*^*^
I don't own it I tell you!
^*^*^*^*^
I opened my eyes to see it was now 6:32 am, about time for me to get up. I sat up, and then looked down to where Hiei slept, he was asleep again, or at least he looked like he was.
I softly walked out of bed, as not to wake him. Luckily, being a thief and a fox, I was rather good at this, so I made it to my bathroom unseen.
I closed the door, started the water running for the shower and then turned to look at myself in the mirror. I didn't at all like I used to, normal, carefree . . . sure my body looked the same but- . . . something just wasn't right . . . I looked sad . . .
^*^*^*^*^
Something had happened to Kurama, but what? I could tell from the way he looked at me. Maybe I should look into his thoughts . . . no . . . I've decided not to do that anymore, gets a man into too much trouble.
I thought about asking him, but in the end decided not to, like I decided on most things that may show concern.
After a few minutes the door to Kurama's bathroom opened so I quickly closed my eyes and again pretended to be sleeping.
After I was sure he wasn't looking, I opened my eyes just a little to see him at his dresser, wearing a very soft looking robe, gathering up his clothes, in this case his school uniform.
He then turned to look at me and I gave him a scowl. Yes, I was sure . . . something wasn't right, I could tell from the look in his eye.
"What happened fox? Girl dump you?" I said to him mockingly, obviously trying to make him feel worse about what he already felt bad enough about.
"No Hiei, and if you must know out of all the women I've ever met here the only one I've ever liked is Shiori . . ." He snapped back at me harshly as he walked back into the bathroom.
A little flashing light went off in my head and I made a mental note of it, Kurama = bitch today . . . BACK OFF.
The fact that Kurama got mad made me think a little harder . . . what exactly had happened to the guy? He never got mad . . . I always sort of relied on that so I could poke fun at him.
At least his little problem would keep his mind off my secret that really shouldn't even be in this house, and actually it wouldn't be for long. As soon as Kurama left for school I would take it out of it's hiding place, probably the worst hiding place it could ever been in, Kurama's desk drawer, and burn it or burry it or something.
Another light went off in my mind, reminding me of another mental note I had made and forgotten about . . . it was, Tonight = remove secret from hiding spot and relocate to better one. I had made that one last night . . .
I remembered that Kurama's school books among other things were also in there . . . if I didn't get it out fast he'd find it for sure!
I remember I had placed it between two books . . . but even if he didn't see it he'd still get to it before the day was out. Damn it . . . I should start using post-it notes instead of mental notes.
I jumped up off of this cursed thing I had to sleep on and was to make my way over to the desk . . . but that's when the door opened and Kurama saw me crawling on his bed . . . it was the fastest way to his desk of course.
I hope I didn't do anything that would upset him . . . I mean I know it seems as though I don't care about anything but- . . . inside I'm completely different person . . . I just can't show it with my voice or actions. Of course he'd have to be in some kind of a bad mood to get mad at someone for touching his bed . . . wouldn't he? What's there to be mad at?
Uh oh . . . I had another problem . . . my secret was still in there. Damn.
"Hiei . . . what are you doing?" He asked in his normal tone, although it sounded forced, and phony.
"Quickest way to the other side of the room idiot." I grunted at him as I hopped off and folded my arms.
"Alright Hiei . . . well I'm going downstairs . . . it would seem suspicious if you didn't come down with me . . . and well maybe we should- . . . never mind." He said seeming a little more normal as he started for the door.
"Whatever . . ." I said rolling my eyes as I walked over to him. "Wheat else do I have to do? And you better be trying to get me out of this!" I asked him along with adding that I really didn't want to live here anymore, I didn't . . . it wasn't right . . . it's not how I live.
"Well I was thinking maybe we hold hands." He said looking a little scared of me . . . I'm glad he felt threatened, keeps him out.
"What!? NO!" I yelled being sure to give him a strange look.
"If we don't do things like that every once in a while my mother will never buy it." Kurama said looking a little like I did.
" . . . NO!" I snapped back at his folding my arms and moving my glance at the wall.
"Alright . . . but we'll have to do something sometime or she'll get suspicious . . ." He said as he started to brush his hair.
"Damn it," I started. "You know I could just leave here and now."
"Hiei, please don't . . ." He said putting down his brush and looking over at me with his sad emerald eyes.
I expected him to say more . . . was his statement finished? It didn't seem right . . . had he REALLY developed feelings for me? That would just make things difficult. I didn't want to work with, let alone LIVE with, someone who had feelings for me. Especially Kurama . . . I grunted and turned to look at him, hoping to see exactly what was wrong, but all I saw was a deep sadness and longing.
I stared into his eyes finding incredible amounts of hurt.
A real friend would have comforted him and tried to help! Or at least asked what was wrong . . . I did neither.
I was really surprised I didn't do more than a real friend would . . .
^*^*^*^*^
"Well Hiei . . . let's go." I said to him as I opened my door.
"N-no . . ." He said sounding nervous, which sounded very strange. "I'll come down in a few minutes." He continued looking over at me coldly.
That cold stare made me feel even worse . . . what I really just wanted more than anything . . . was to be able to look at him with love and get the same in return. But that most diffidently was not going to happen.
"Why Hiei?" I asked him, staring with my eyes just wanting so desperately.
Hiei seemed to be pulled into the vast emptiness I showed to him. He just stared into my eyes, seemingly looking for something, anything, but there just was nothing there. Except something I hid all too well . . . my love for him.
"I . . . I have to get dressed." He said casually.
"Hiei, you don't have your clothes back yet remember? But, you can use some of mine." I said walking over to my closet.
My eyes half way closed and I just for the moment felt again the warmth I felt with him in my arms as I passed by him.
I stopped about a foot behind him, not quite at the closet yet. I could tell my heart was trying to tell me something, something important that it knew and I needed to know . . . but I just couldn't understand. And then, for some reason, I turned around to face Hiei, he was looking at me with a hint of curiosity behind his cold mask. I took a step closer, so I was standing right in front of him, and I reached out and put my hand on his cheek.
I don't know why I did it . . . I guess I just couldn't bare being without the feel of his skin against mine for another moment.
I smiled at him softly, and for that second . . . I felt happy again, happy to be with Hiei.
And the he reached up a little, took my lips with his, and kissed me softly.
My heart pounded with excitement! I didn't know exactly what he meant by it, but I did know that it was indeed happening!
I moved my hand from his cheek around his neck and pushed my head forward into his kiss.
He didn't do much of anything in response but he didn't pull away, so I put my other hand around his waist, pulled myself closer to him and slowly walked us over to my bed where I leaned myself on him.
He then began to struggle. I know the right thing would be to of stopped, but I didn't want to let him go . . . I loved him.
I overcame my temptations and backed away from Hiei. I opened my eyes and stared at him feeling unbelievably embarrassed.
A devilish smirk cam across his lips as he said to me, "So that's it,"
My eyes widened, I started to blush uncontrollably, and my heart might as well have turned to dust.
"Hiei I . . ." Was all I could force myself to say.
"I had a feeling," He said in knowing voice. "That you had developed feelings for me . . . and that is why you've been acting so strange."
"I . . . please don't . . ." I stammered finding it hard to feel my legs.
"You're hungry fox, and as long as I feed you sooner or later you'll be satisfied." He said glaring over at me.
"No Hiei it's not that I- . . . I just . . . Hiei please, I really don't want to bring this up ever again." I told him feeling my heart sink.
"I know that's a lie." He said walking over to me and staring at me in the eye. "You will . . . get over it. And until you do, I'll wait. And I will give you a little every now and then to help you along. I won't lose a partner like you." He told me with a trustworthy look on his face.
Maybe he was right . . . maybe I would get over him.
^*^*^*^*^
Yugijouoh: Don't kid yourself Kurama! I know Hiei was a little OOC but he kinda had to be . . . oh well! Heheh . . . anyhew please review! ^^-